


Behind enemy lines with you

by Wassiegirl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo - Freeform, Coworkers - Freeform, Death, Emotional, Enemies, F/M, Force Bond, Hate, Hux - Freeform, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Leia - Freeform, Lovers, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Plot, Poe - Freeform, Porn With Plot, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey - Freeform, Rose - Freeform, Sadness, Slow Burn, Snoke - Freeform, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars The Last Jedi - Freeform, Star Wars the force awakens - Freeform, TFA - Freeform, alternate main characters, finn - Freeform, force, life - Freeform, storm trooper jedi, tlj - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-06-21 14:43:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 97,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15560028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wassiegirl/pseuds/Wassiegirl
Summary: Updated: 5/21/19edited : all chapters have been edited, incase anyone needed to reread.story about a storm trooper that becames the not so last jedi.Aus was raised in the First Order and fights for it, but she thinks differently than most. She has abilities and no idea where they came from or what they are, only that she can use them, kind of. Kylo is the same dark space darcy we all know and love.This follows mostly Aus and Kylos adventure starting just before the Force Awakens and goes until after the Last Jedi.Rey, rose, finn, leia and poe are all there, but not main stories.There is sexy stuff here and there **** to start and end





	1. Chapter 1

When the alarm sounds, every soldier lines up, waiting to be deployed. They wait until the Shiny woman, Captain Phasma relays orders. They are sent to die, to defend _them_ , to bring _them_ victory.

 Aus has been with her squad a few years now, they are _really_ good, their squad leader makes sure of that, there are none better. 

She was brought into the StormTrooper Corps program 14 years ago at the age of 10. Taken from her home and forced to learn the ways of the First Order.  She fought it for a few years, but eventually she came around to them and even have come to believe in what the First Order stands for. Until about 4 years ago…

Aus had always felt a bit off, but it was like one morning she woke up and just felt _different_. She wasn’t so sure about the Order anymore, it was as if they just started killing everyone who didn’t agree, instead of just leaving them be or trying to compromise.

The Resistance, however, they want to fight, they WANT to kill troopers, end the First Order and everything it stands for. She didn’t really understand it, Supreme Leader Snoke wants to bring order, end the chaos that came along with the former Republic, Empire and all factions. With the Resistance, Battle after battle, fight after fight, the killing, the death became worse, one day… she couldn’t live with it anymore. She began switching her blaster to stun since Blaster inspections could only tell that it had been fired.

She stunned their “enemies”, the frightened and unarmed, out in the middle of nowhere just people wanting to be left alone, men, women and children. Aus didn’t feel completely terrible for killing armed Resistance fighters, but she still wanted to preserve life. After all, if the First Order kills everyone, who are they going to rule? Who are they going to bring order to, if they kill everyone? Eventually over the past few years she had been able to convince a few of her comrades to join in on the preservation of life for the good of the First Order.

Since she felt the change in herself, she’d become a stellar fighter, it felt almost as if she couldn’t lose, most of the time. She felt like she could see what her opponent was going to do before they did and she can adjust react, blocking them, dodging their attacks. She’s tried to “activate” the foresight feeling in other situations, but she just can’t seem to do it outside of being threatened. It is terrifying, not knowing what that feeling, that power is and having no real control over it.

Aus could tell no one, they are Storm Troopers, if they fall out of line in anyway, they send them to reconditioning, or worse.  But she had been sent twice already; once for insubordination and the second for questioning another squadrons leader. Her body is covered in scars, at least everything below her face. The reconitioners like to use laser whips during their sessions, among other things.  

Aus had a few other new abilities too…still no real control over them, but she’s getting better at it, like moving things with a small thought and a swipe of her fingers. And last but not least, she didn’t really like this one, but she sort of feels what others are feel. Emotions are kind of strange. They are beaten out of troopers in academy and continued throughout their “career”.

Their squad commander is one of the less strict leaders. He allows them to bullshit in their down time and to actually enjoy training with one another. Other squads are not so fortunate. There are squad leaders that will kill their troopers for simply not hitting a target once, or not with enough accuracy.  Aus has seen them killed for less.

Aus couldnt remember her life before being taken into the First Order, but she did remember her name, Aus. She couldn’t remember if she had siblings, a mother and father, friends or even a pet, but she did remember her name and that was something. She reminded herself every day that she was not just a number in the Order, that at one time she was something to someone.

The closest thing to friends one could hope for in the Order were her comrads. Troopers are nothing in a sea of white armor, but at least in her squad, they look out for each other. Well most of them.

A few days ago General Hux called an assembly in the largest hanger the ship had aboard the Finalzer. Everyone on board was required to attend to hear his speech. Hux likes to call these assembly’s, to hear the sound of his own voice, but mainly to tell the troopers they are the greatest military force in the galaxy, but were becoming too ‘relaxed and lazy’ and because of this, training and duties are double for the next week.

No one was pleased with this, as usual, but they stood there and took it. During his speech, an incident occured and he was whisked away, causing a slight uproar of laughter, adding to their ‘punishment’ which was now 3 weeks. They have had non-stop training since then. Blaster training, hand to hand combat, weapons training and of course, cardio training which meant lots of running.

Today, during their hand to hand with weapons training, her favorite activity, Aus’s squad and another squad were called in for inspection. They all grab their helmets and head off to the hall, with no thought to it.

 Entering the room it was apparent it was not a standard inspection. Standing at the head of the room were Hux and a few other superior officers as well as Captain Phasma, who anyone will ever only get an ‘adequate’ rating from, and…Commander Kylo Ren. It was odd, Aus could always feel Hux presence when he is around, but today she couldn’t feel him, only those around him.  

Aus didn’t need to have a special ability to feel the tension in the room rise a full 1000% percent, but she could feel it and it was sickening. Marching to a halt, they left turn and face front, towards the officers. In moments like this Aus was glad and thankful for those stupid, oversized helmets and being anonymous, a faceless thing in a sea of faceless things. Hux walked up and down the rows of troopers, looking each of them up and down, smirking his disapproval and admiration for his army.

He is a man proud of his army, but believes harsh words and actions will make for a better one. Phasma follows him, not saying anything. Hux nods to the fellow officers in the hall and like an unspoken command, the officers depart. Hux and Phasma return to their spots at the head of the room. A few moments later, Kylo Ren began to walk the room. He was quick, almost like he was looking for something.

In her many years with the Order, she had only ever seen Commander Ren a handful of times, and they usually weren’t good. He has a severe temper that usually results in plenty of computer or ship damage, as well as troopers, officers or anyone really that is unlucky enough to be the barer of bad news or just be near at the wrong time. To say the level of fear and intense response from the troopers is high is an under statement.

Ren has never been seen without his helmet, at least that she was aware. His helmet covers his head. It is black, with silver lines flowing around the giant eye slit. He always wears black, usually a cape or cloak of some kind, but today he is wearing a cowl covering most of his shoulders and draping down the back of him with black clothing underneath.

Her heart quickened as he walked nearer and nearer. See could see him out of the corner of what little vision she had in her helmet, he was looking past the faceless helmets in front of him, coming closer. She could feel her chest tighten and her breath quicken. ‘Please don’t stop, please don’t stop…don’t see me…dont see me…just keep moving’ she keeps thinking to herself, repeating it over and over. ‘my name is Aus and I’ve got this’. She opened her eyes to be met with a vacant stare of a black helmet.

Ren stood there, looking in her direction, tilting his head from side to side slightly. ‘go away, nothing to see here’ Aus thought to herself, screaming. He stood there for such a long time. Was he spending this much time on others? Not the ones next to her that she could see. What was wrong? What could he see?

Everyone knows that he has some sort of powers, that he is Snokes apprentice, his bulldog, his killer. Aus immediately erased her thoughts, thinking of nothing, nothing but the First Order, and training. “Is there a problem, Ren?” Hux spout from behind him. Kylo stood straight up, staring over her head, “No general. Your troops seem to be adequate.” He rejoined Hux and Phasma at the head of the room.

“These are my best squads, my best fighters” Hux said, proudly to Ren, with a grin. Ren just nodded and stood there. “Back to training, you’re dismissed” Hux ordered. The troopers right turned and began their March. “FN-2905, remain” a deep distorted electronic voice demanded.  Her body stiffened as she felt a harsh, cold shiver shoot up her spine. Aus stepped out of line and stood at attention, awaiting whatever was to come. ‘Could this be it?’ she thought. ‘no more attempts at reconditioning, are they going to end me now? Why am I so defiant?’. Aus tried not to think anymore, did an ‘about face’ and waited.

It felt like hours standing there, waiting for whatever was coming. Aus could see Hux speaking to Commander Ren, but she couldn’t make out his words. A few moments later, Ren dismissed Hux and Phasma. Hux yelled something about “these are my troopers, you have done enough damage”, but Ren looked at him and responded with something that was followed by Hux and Phasma leaving the room. Aus never thought she would ever wish in her life time that General Hux or Captain Phasma remained near, but she did now.

When the doors closed, Commander Ren just stood there, staring.  Aus was unsure if he was staring at her or just in her direction, but it was unsettling. With a swift movement he turned around to the table next to him, reached his hands to the sides of his helmet and removed it. Aus could hear the hissing from the mechanisms inside. ‘What the hell is he doing?’ she thought.

Black hair fell from the helmet, landing on the pale skin of his neck. Aus stood tall again as he turned back towards her. Her heart stopped and her breath hitched. She didnt know what she was expecting, but she wasn’t expecting this. There before her stood a boy. Clean shaven face, young in his years, maybe her age? Black wavy hair, past his ears, long face and a very dominate nose, but it was nice. He walked towards her and her heart raced. ‘I don’t want to be here, this can not be good,’ she kept thinking. As he came closer, she saw his eyes, brown and very soft in their angles. ‘What is this? Is this a trick? This can not be the “the jedi killer” or Snokes Bulldog, he is…beautiful’ though she knew in her soul, with her entire being, this was him, this man the whole the galaxy fears, who they all feared.

He stopped inches away, standing directly in front of her, looking down. She didn’t move, but did lift her eyes to meet his, after all, he couldnt see through her helmet. He is tall, at least a foot taller than she. Aus reset her gaze forward, there she met the center of his black cloth covered chest. He walked around her, circling slowly like a predator circling its prey.

Suddenly he stopped behind her, “remove your helmet,”. Her eyes widened, heart started jumping, ‘no, I don’t want you to see me’. With a deep breath she took her hands up to the sides of her head and removed her helmet. The chill in the hall cooled the heat in her cheeks and the sweat that started at the nape of her neck. Aus stood there, helmet at her side, staring forward. He continued his predatory circle.

“How long have you been with the Order? FN-2905”

“14 years, commander”

“You are a hand to hand weapons specialist, are you not?”

Aus hesitated, she never thought of herself that way, but she supposed in a way, she was. “In sorts, Sir. I do not have an official title, however hand to hand is my specialty and I can fight with any handheld weapon as well, Sir!”

He stopped in front of her once again and looked downward. Against her will, and unbeknownst to her, she looked up at into his eyes. They stare for only a few milliseconds, then quickly she resumed eyes forward.

“Who are you” he spoke, though his lips did not move.

What? Her eyes darted around the room, up to his then forward again, “I..I am FN-2905, Storm Trooper of the First Order, Sir”

“Dimissed. Return to your squad,” he said, turning and walking back tp the table that held his helmet.

Aus turned and walked towards the door, stopping herself from running out of there, before he changed his mind and decided to kill her for something, anything. “FN-2905” his voice called out from behind her. Aus turned to face him once again, tilting her head to the side slightly, then straightening back into attention “Sir?”. “Your helmet, trooper” he said, then turned back to his that sat on the table infront of him. “right!” Aus quickly threw it back on, made her salute and exited the room.

Once she was outside of the room, she felt she could breathe again. Aus exhaled and let her shoulders rest. She made her way down the corridor then noticed movement in one of the dark random panel slits in the walls, she peeked in and saw 2 troopers, male and female huddled in the back, embracing each other. They were fully armored but they had removed their helmets and were rubbing their faces against one another, their mouths moving and tongues dashing in and out, it was so odd, but she _felt_ something from them.

It was a mixture of feelings, want, desire, yearning? And some form of companionship, caring, but it was more than that. She had seen this a few times, but paid it no mind, they should be allowed to interact with each other without the interference of the Order when they weren’t on duty, but this kind of interaction isn’t taught and is prohibited, but she could feel their happiness. So she let them be.

The act was called ‘kissing’. It is what most humanoid species do to express many different feelings. She was even slightly familiar of what precreation was, or sex. She’d walked in on this before as well and couldn’t unsee that nightmare, but that was a story for a later time. Aus started to move away from the two troopers but they saw her, both showing fear in their eyes for being caught. She walked further into the small opening and whispered to them, “Commander Ren is in the next room, I’d get out of here and find somewhere else to go if I were you”. They looked at each other, then back to Aus. Quickly snatching their helmets up, they rush to the opening, “thank you, thank you” they both said exiting the enclosure. Once they were gone, Aus took their place and sat down, removed her helmet and inhaled deeply.

Staring into the darkness front of her, she’d wished she were a million galaxies away. Aus began to get lost in her thoughts, in a dream she’s had over the years. She saw an untouched lake, with a waterfall as she sat on the grass looking at its beauty and its untainted waters. A cool breeze on a warm, sun filled day blows against her face. Behind her, a cabin. There’s always someone in the cabin, but she never saw who it was, she just knew they are there. Aus sat and stared at the waters and inhaling the fresh air around her.

The sound of doors opening and closing to the room next to her hideout snapped Aus out of her day dream. She looked up to see Commander Ren standing there, staring into the small Enclosure. Her heart stopped immediately. With wide eyes and hope that he saw nothing, especially her, she just stared at him standing there, looking at his darkness.

Ren stared. It was the oddest sensation, outside from the heat that her body felt, Aus could feel something else, ‘curiosity?’ Then he shifted, and in that same moment an officer walked up to Ren and started speaking to him. She rose slowly and did everything she could not to make noise, grabbed her helmet and slid it back onto her head.

Ren had slightly turned his attention to the officer, as well as his body enough that she thought she could slide by, maybe? Worst case she can say she was investigating a sound in there, but nothing was to be found. With his back mostly turned to her and the officer unable to see around his large body, Aus slid as quietly as she could out of through the opening and walked fast and silently thanked her lucky stars.


	2. Just like Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Aus returned to her squad as they finished their double duty training for the day. In the mess hall, they are allowed to remove their helmets without permission and even some of their armor, it is somewhat of a break as well as a meal time. Over the past few weeks, the food had become less and less recognizable, at least for the troops. Officers got good meal choices and could often even make requests, but not troopers.

The First Order isn’t that bad, they have meals everyday, beds to sleep in, medical facilities, exercise rooms, etc. They are well taken care of but the food…the food was crap lately. Today it had consisted of a gelatinous substance with “meat” in it, cubed vegetables, and some weird yellow slime that is supposed to be good for their bodies, but it usually just makes them sick. After meal time, Aus went back to barracks, showered and went to bed.

That night she found her dreams to be off, different. Normally she either had nightmares of combat, watching her comrads die and innocents put to death, or she was lucky enough to dream of sitting by the lake watching the waterfall with the cabin behind her, but tonight, in this dream, she started the dream inside the cabin.

_It was nice, but there was no one in there but her. It was filled with a few things, a bed, in which she was sitting on, a table with 2 chairs to the left of the room as well as a couch against the wall. On the other side of the room a sink with counters and a tall dresser. Aus looked to the front door which was open to a beautiful day. She smiled, got up and walked out of the cabin and into the sunlight._

_Aus stepped outside only to be met with darkness. The sky was breath taking with the vast amount of stars above. The moons reflecting off the lake. There was someone sitting there, by the lake. He sat there, torso facing the water, one leg propped up on a foot, knee bent and the other mirroring it on the grass. Sometimes towns people passed through, and sometimes there was a man, friendly, kind but she could never remember his face, though she knew him every time she saw him._

_Aus did not fear this figure, she felt happy to see him, its the man she can never remember, but she knew it was him. She walked over to him as he sat there, stopping at his side. She looked down and saw him, now she knew…now she knew who he was and has always been. His face, that nose, those eyes and lips…she remembered it, Commander Kylo Ren._

_Why was she happy to see him? She knows who he is. This person she had dreamt of many times before, the most feared and hated man in the galaxy, yet she dreamt of him and he is nothing like the Kylo Ren she knows, they ALL know. In her dreams he is kind and sweet, but never had she seen his face so clearly, only his words she could remember. Yes, she found him beautiful and with the moonlight glistening off his body it was hard not to find him beautiful, but she couldn’t understand why she was dreaming of_ him _._

Aus awoke abruptly in a sweat, panting, slightly confused as to where she was. Quickly she came too, checked the time and saw there was still 2 hours until the alarm sounds. She got up and went to the exercise room, running on the treadmill for the next hour and a half.

His face kept creeping through her mind, both his dream face and reality face. Aus had worked with males all her life she had seen naked men over and over and never, ever had one enter her mind in such a way _he_ had. Aus had thought of men, comrades in arms, and even found a few to be attractive, but due to their orders and rules, that was as far as it went. She may not follow all rules, but she never really felt a need to break that one, it never really interested her before.

A quarter til to rise and shine, Aus showered and geared up for the day, meeting with her squad on the hanger training floor. A group of 5 and her were ordered to resume more hand to hand training while the four others went with the squad commander for blaster training.

During her spar with FN-1106, she felt like they were being watched and like she could hear her name being called, but it was not possible, no one knew her name.  Turning and glancing up, there he was, Kylo Ren next to Hux standing above them on one of the highwalks. She could feel Ren, but she couldn’t feel Hux. It was eerie, she had felt his presence earlier in the morning in passing. Why not now?

Aus returned her attention to her opponent who was about to pounce her from the side, but she blocked him. As he passed her, Aus grabbed the collar of his armor and swung herself around to his back jumped his shoulders, knocking him to the ground. Aus held her small blade to his throat “yield!” she yelled. He shook his head, “yield!” she yelled again, this time pushing it into his neck, twisting his arm behind his back. He squealed, “yield, I yield!”.

Aus let go, stood up, extended her hand to him as he rolled over. “How did you even see that? You weren’t even looking in my direction!”, he jested and took her hand. They spoke about his assumption and what he did wrong. 

“FN-2905, you are ordered to Training Room 13” a messenger LT trooper called from outside the training mat. “ok” Aus replied. She pulled her armored sleeves back onto her upper body, grabbed her helmet. With her blaster, she headed off to training Room 13.

As she entered the room, she felt it. “FN-2905 reporting” she said standing at attention, waiting for further command.

“FN-2905” the low voice spoke to her as he approached.  “you will be sparring with me temporarily.”

Aus was baffled as to why she was chosen, but nodded, “yes, sir….”. Ren turned away.  

“sir, seeing that you would not normally fight an armored trooper, may I have your permission to shed my armor?”

“fight in whatever you wish,” Kylo said with a passive, uncaring response.

Aus laid down her blaster and removed her helmet, her short hair flopping to the side and slightly over her eye. She shed her boots and socks and removed the rest of her armor, leaving only her black breast band and mid-thigh length black spandex undershorts. Ren turned back towards her shirtless, his pants high wasted slightly above his belly button. His body is broad, wide, muscular and full of scars, scars like hers. Seeing his scars made her think of her own. Aus was not unsettled by them or bothered, but curious. She knew how she got hers, ‘how did he get his?’ she wondered.

She stretched, sighing at the relief her body felt being out of the armor as she scanned the room. Along one wall were weapons. The opposite side of the room, a counter of some kind. The center of the room there was a giant floor matt that span the most of the floor surface. Next to the counter there was an open door and inside was a small bathroom.

“Are you ready to die, trooper?” Ren said, circling around behind her and stomping the floor with one foot, widening his stance and igniting his lightsaber. It made a crackling sound as it ignited, the red illuminating his arm and hip as is angled down towards the floor. His glare was piercing, she could see the determination in his eyes.

“The question is, Kylo Ren, are you ready?” Aus sneered at him, with a slight upturn at the corner of her mouth. She crouched and let the games begin. Aus could feel his sudden surprise. He seemed surprised that she was without fear.

He swung at her, thrusting his saber, his moves are well practiced and well executed. He swung at her head, she dropped and dipped her head to the side, the saber barely missing her cheek, she rolled to the weapons wall and grabbed the ‘z6 riot control baton’. Kylo seemed unphased, he charged for her again. Aus met him in the middle of the room, his saber sparking against her Z6.  She was physically no match for him in a dead lock like this, a huge body and great physical strength that can easily overpower her, but she had speed.

He was forcing her backwards and down, his saber inches of her face. The heat of it hot against her cheek. The match had been going on for at least 20 minutes, they were both tired, but she kept her eyes on his, the intensity, the want to claim another victim, “yield” he said with low intensity. The small exhaust flame from the hilt of his saber dug into her arm when he shifted, searing her flesh, trying to throw her off balance. It failed to work and she pushed back into him again. Aus let out a battle cry against the pain, adrenalin pumping through her when she jumped back to her feet.

‘The determination on his face was loud, but he lets it consume him, he is so sure of himself, it will be why he loses’ she thinks to herself. “Yield!!” he yelled, pushing against Aus again, with a force so strong she thought she might break in two, but she knew it was coming and the moment he pushed, she let go and stepped to the side, allowing him to stumble forward as she dipped to the mat and tripped him with an extended foot.

Aus swung her Z6 around and thwacked him across the back with it, dropping him. He turned quickly, shock and hate in his eyes as he glares up at her, saber still in hand. Before he could raise it, Aus stomped on his wrist and knelt on his chest. She held her Z6 to his throat “yield”. The look in his eyes were of a man that was going to kill the moment she let go, but Aus didn’t care, she had bested the best in the galaxy on their first match. They stare down one another, then finally, after pressing herself on to his wrist and into his neck harder, he snarled out “I yield”.

Aus smirked slightly, then removed herself from him, “Get up Ren, time to show you how you lost.” She didn’t bother trying to calm him or cater to him, that’s what everyone did. “How did you do that?!” he yelled, “I should not have lost. We do this again!” he spat as he got into a battle stance. Aus looked at him, his saber blazing a few feet away from her. He is angry, furious and set on vengeance for his bruised ego. “Do you want to know how you lost or not? Then we can start again,” he didn’t budge “We are here to spar? To train? You can’t train if you don’t learn anything new,” Aus said, arms crossed.

Though she tried to maintain the confidence on the outside, her insides were screaming at her to shut the hell up, but she stood there, staring him down anyway. Finally, after several minutes, he disengaged his saber.  “Who do you think you are! You are a storm trooper, what do you know of anything?! Youre faceless, like the rest of them, made to die,” he lashed out. Kylo stood over her, trying to intimidate, looking Aus up and down with utter distain. “Last chance, Ren. Do you want to know or not? Or do you want to lose again to a faceless stormtrooper?” Aus met his eyes and held him there. He stopped, posture changed, face relaxed slightly. She could feel anger still emitting from him, it was an odd feeling to say the least, most unsettling. He held her gaze as she stood there glaring up at him, his chest slowing in its movements. “Show me,” he spit out.

 

Aus went through the fight with him, showing him things. He looked as if he had never given thought to any alternative to his way.  He is a creature of habit, when they set up to spar again, this time they both started with weapons. They went through the match and ‘BAM’, she was down. “KRIFF!” Elbow to the side, just hard enough to knock the wind out of her. This time was much harder to beat him. He was focused, absolutely beautiful in his movements, she got lost and it cost her the match.

Weezing on the mat, Kylo walked by not looking, “go to medbay, see that you are tended to, we need our troopers alive long enough to die.” “fuck you” she to under her breath as she forced herself to rise from the floor, “1..to 1…”. Words came difficult to her as she was striving to catch her breath, inhaling deeply, wobbling to her feet. The pain was sharp too, both in her lungs and sides. Aus stabilized herself enough to initiate the next round, “lets go”.

Thrust after thrust, jab after jab, they went at each other, like their lives depended on it. Their bodies drenched in sweat, lungs heaving, trying to catch up with ourselves. A few hours passed by like nothing. This was the most fun she had ever had, and she swore even in its smallest moment, she thought she saw Kylo Ren even smile. “Enough,” Kylo ordered “You’re dismissed.”

 “Are you sure? We’re 2 to 2, you do not want to break the tie, Sir?” Aus replied quickly. Kylo sent a stare her way that would stop a Ranthar in its war path. It was time for her silence. Aus nodded and turned to retrieve her gear. Kylo rushed past her and left the room, leaving her to herself. Aus went into the restroom to check the wound on her shoulder, it smelled like burnt flesh still, but it wasn’t bleeding nor did it seem to really need to be fussed over, It was cauterized all the way and would heal on its own. Aus returned to her gear, suited up to report back to duty, but the shift was over and Aus was blessed with a shower instead.


	3. Just say yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

That night Aus dreamt sweetly. Nothing out of the ordinary, just went for a swim in the lake next to her log home. Training was easy today, compared to the training she endured yesterday with Kylo. Trooper training is nothing. Her comrades on the other hand, as often as they could, kept inquiring about her sparring session with Commander Ren. “what does he look like? Does he always use his saber or does he actually fight with his hands? Did he use his powers on you or anything?”. They noticed her bruising and shoulder wound during their hand to hand matches today, she just shrugged them off. “oh come on, 05’. Give us something. Did you at least knock him on his ass????” they were chomping at the bit for some small, miniscule info.

Aus liked to torture them like this, but she wasn’t completely heartless, “We ended 2 to 2. I drew first blood. Then he burned me,” she tried hard to hide her smile, but it came anyway. “ah! Hell yeah! 1 for the troopers! Are you sparring with him again?” celebrating, as only they can. Aus hoped that they would forget the other line of questioning and just go on with their day, the last thing she wanted to do was think about Kylo Ren, and his glistening, sweat covered body, and extremely practiced fighting movements.

The day came and went, as it usually does. In the chow hall they had the same food as yesterday, disgusting. Standing there debating on whether she wanted to eat at all, she looked to the officers food. Their food was real food, always good, but today they had something new, “what is that? I know I cant have it, but what is it?” she asked the line cook. He looked at the food item and back to the, “whats the point, if you cant have it?” he responded. Flustered, Aus griped back at him “I want to know what im missing out on, ‘you will tell me what that is’”, he stopped, stood straight up “I will tell you what that is, it is Canar Bacon. Crispy and salty, brown in color and tastes of charred meat. Now move on”. She had never wanted anything more than that bacon. She clenched her tray and went off to a table. After dinner it was to the barracks.

When the troopers were off duty they had few options,

1: they can train, whether that be in the gym or duty training.

2: they can hang out in the Middle Room and play cards, shoot the shit, or play pool. Its usually what Aus chose.

And then

3: bed. Not much to choose from in their life.

Tonight Aus went to the barracks, changed in to her off duty sweat clothes and went to the middle room where half of her squad was already.

“Hey guys, whats goin down? Deal me in” They had already started playing cards when she sat down on the lounge couch between them, but FN-2187 dealt her in the next round. It is always a good time in there. Being around those people out of uniform, laughing, it wasn’t always like that, but it was always good when it was. After a few hours of cards, bantering, avoiding questions about her training session with Commander Ren, they all headed for bed.

\-----Blood everywhere, rebels, first order, animals, …Blood everywhere, and him, the monster. He is standing in the middle of all of it. It circles him. His helmet glistening in the fire that surrounds them, the bodies... Blood splashed across his chest, his cape drenched. He’s looking at her, Aus cant see his eyes, but she knew, she can feel him.

The red saber ignited at his side. Why isn’t he moving? Why wasn’t she moving? He tilted his head to the side then straightened upright. He started walking towards her, “stop!” Aus yelled. He stood still for only a moment, “are you here?” a mechanically altered voice came at her. It felt like it was dancing around her head, she was being swallowed by it ‘are you here?’ ‘are you here?’ echoing..

The monster began moving closer once again, Aus tried to yell, but the words would not come this time. Now in front of her, only a few feet away, he stops. Aus was frightened, she couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak. She kept looking at all the death, the fire, then back to him. Slowly he lifted his hand, extending it towards her. Aus felt it grab her neck. Gasping for air, Aus’ grabs for his outstretched hand, trying to free herself. Aus thought of all the ways she would die, but she never thought this would be it. “nnoo...no!” Aus managed to get out, while fighting for her freedom. She touched his helmet and in a second it disappeared.

There before her stood the boy beneath the monster. Shock and disgust crossed his face. He looked around at the massacure, then back to the frightened girl. He released his grip immediately, glaring at his own hands as if they had betrayed him. The sadness in his eyes could make the devil to sigh. Tears sit in the corners, begging to be released, but he would not allow it. “AAAHHHH!!!!” he screamed into the dark sky, hands clenched, body trembling as he cursed to whomever could hear.

                The morning alarm sounded, jolting Aus from her nightmare. She stands quickly then drops. “You ok, 05?” came the friendly voice of FN-2000. “Yeah, must have gotten up to fast, eh?” she struggled to her feet and started towards the gear room along with the others. “Maybe you should get a shower before gearing up, you…look like it may have been a rough night,” she said. Aus looked down at her shirt to find it drenched in sweat.

Under the hot running water, she tried to forget the nightmare she. The death. So much death. The fire. Him. Putting his hand on her with a purpose to kill. The look in his face when she removed his mask and left him as himself. The sadness and self hatred. ‘Enough’, she told herself and left the shower.

“All squadrons report! All squadrons report!” the alarm sounded. They rushed to the hanger and awaited further instruction. They waited only minutes before being ordered into one of the ships. Marching onto the ship there is only the sound of officers barking orders. Aus felt nothing from any of them. There was only adrenalin and duty filling the air. “The Resistance has attacked one of our weapons outposts, we are to wipe out anything that moves,” the commanding officer screams out.

 Within seconds after landing, they rush out. No thinking, just doing. Before she left the ship, Aus switched her blaster to stun and went to work.

After they returned to the finalizer, their blasters are sent to inspection. If anyone needed medical attention they were sent to the medbay immediately. The battle wasn’t long, but it was busy. Usually Aus’s squad doesn’t lose anyone in a fight, their squad is one of the best in the fleet, but today was not so victorious. They lost 2 troopers and LT, taken out by a black x-wing. Though Aus wasn’t injured, she mourned. Their LT was a good man, someone who cared for the wellbeing of his team. Now squad 4 will be fitted with a new Lt or worse, a Captain. Combat is never easy, whether you win or lose, it’s never easy.

She didn’t bother eating, showering or changing, just went to her cot in a row of 20 and crashed. Trying to forget the days events.

“You will stay the best! You will excel further than before! You will live and die for the order!” Their new Captain spat as he addressed the squad that next morning. Aus didn’t see why her or one of the others weren’t promoted. They were all qualified and they had already been together for years. Yes, there have been a few new-comers, but only a few, because they are the one best. “Now line up for a run. FULL GEAR!! You go until I say stop!”. They did as they’re told, but all groaning inside. The Captain took a seat on some containers and watched as they started their run around the hangar.

“FN-2905, you are ordered to training room 13, immediately,” a messenger officer yelled to Aus. She nodded and started towards the door. The new Captain tried to stop her, “Where do you think you are going, flea! Get back in line with the others or you will be punished for insubordination, as I know YOU are well familiar with.” A smug smile crept across his disgusting face.

He wasn’t a tall man, maybe 5’7, a few inches taller than herself. He was fat with a gross greying mustache and an injured arm in a sling. With his other hand He reached for the taser at his side while he eyed her. He had that ‘do something to make me give this to you’ look. She smiled, though he couldn’t see, “Commander Ren has ordered a sparring session today, would you like to be the reason his orders were disobeyed? Or should I continue on? Sir.”  His face drained of all color, eyes widened, “yes, very well, trooper. On your way.” “Thank you, sir” Aus sarcastically replied as she walked passed him.

Aus walked into find Kylo walking out from the restroom. “My normal sparring trooper is no longer available, you will be permanently assigned to this,” he walked up and stood over her, looking down into her face. The only thing she could think of was her nightmare. Aus pushed it from her mind as far as she could, but in its smallest amount, it was there, fear. “Yes, sir.” Aus replied. Then the nausea hit.

Aus ran to the restroom, tossing her rifle and dropping to her knees, she hugged that toilet bowl and let out her breakfast. “You’re not fit, report to med bay, I’ll find a replacement,” Kylo said from outside the door. “No, no. ugh.” Aus said, rolling onto her ass, flushing the toilet. Her body felt weakened and her face flushed. “No. It’s the kriffing Dog food they’re feeding us lately, it doesn’t sit right. Most days I can keep it down, but…I guess today is not one of those days. But I am fine enough to fight, Sir”. Aus stood up right and began taking her armor off. She got down to her breast band and shorts. Kylo still looked annoyed at her sudden illness. “I am fine. Lets do this” as she got into sparring position.  “Wait,” Aus stood up again, looking at him. “If I’m to be your permanent sparring partner from now on, I ask two things.”

Kylo was not pleased, “you are not my sparring partner, you are a faceless storm trooper, whom id kill at any given moment with my bare hands, you have no right to ask anything.”

She thought to her nightmare again, but shook it “1: I’d like to see you try and 2: call me whatever you want, and you’re right, I am just a storm trooper, but I still request that you a least hear what I ask.”

“Fine.” Kylo ground through his teeth.

“Ok. 1: While we’re in here, we’re equals. We are on equal grounds. No ‘Sirs’, no powers to kill me or throw me around…”

“The force...” Kylo interrupting her.

“Ok then, no Force throwing me, force choking or force anything, equals. And nothing said in passing anger or banter will be held against me, or you, I guess.” Aus finished, waiting…He just glared at her, looking her up and down, like he smells something bad and is trying to figure out if its her or not.

“And the second?” He sneered.

“Right. 2: If I win today, you’ll bring me bacon from the mess hall. I haven’t had it, I want to try it, only Officers get to eat real food and I would like to try the thing that makes the officers fat and happy.” Crossing her arms, waiting on him to respond. He was silent for a few moments, emotions rolling off him in waves. Disgust, shock, astonishment, admiration? Amusement?...”Alright, we’re equals in here only. But now I need something from you” he walked closer, stopping a few feet away.

He reached out his hand, not touching her. Her chest tightened, she lost her breath for a moment. Aus took a step backward out of fear of what she saw in her dreams and the parallel to this. This was just like her dream...her nightmare...he was close, his hand… “You know I can take what I want,” he calmly said. There was no rage or malice in his voice, but there was confidence. His hand stopped at her eye level, extended only inches away now. Out of nowhere She felt as if someone was brushing their fingers against her brain, looking for something. She stared at him, wondering what the hell he was doing. She tried pushing him out, Aus had seen him do this before, but he was much crueler when he did it to the prisoners.

“You yearn for something...something you have seen but you know nothing about... I see the cabin by the lake…” His eyes focused on hers, “You’re so lonely, you feel a part of you missing, you have people you care for but they aren’t enough,” he spoke aloud. Aus didn’t know what it is he was looking for, but she didn’t want him to find anything more. She didn’t want him to see her secret, the stunning of people instead of killing and she sure as hell didn’t want him seeing that she had dreamt of him, “You will not” Aus said and pushed back, throwing up a mental wall.

Before the wall went up all the way, she heard glimpses of something. “Ben, where are you, sweet boy?’ ’im over here mommy!” “I fear the light still inside me, always calling, please help me, grandfather.” “love is for the weak” “Being the ruthless killer, the ruthless leader will cement you into the darkness, my young apprentice.” “….I am so alone….” “let the past die, kill it if you have too…” ”PLEASE…HELP ME…”

“Hmm. {teeth grinding} How is it you put up a wall with such ease?” curiousity striking his smooth, low voice, returning his hand to his side.

“Its just easy to pretend not to exist…anyway, are we going to fight or what?” She sneered, rubbing her temple.

He cocked his head to the side, looking her up and down, “You call yourself Aus?”

Trying to hide her surprise, Aus snapped her eyes to his, “y…yes. It is my birth name, the only thing I remember from my life before here. I much prefer it over FN-2905.”

“Fine,” he said, “why do you keep holding on to it, you are no longer that person”

“I tell it to myself to remind myself, that though im loyal to the order, I refuse to forget that I am not just inventory.”

He scoffed, turning his back and walking to the center of the room, he crouched “lets go.”


	4. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“You’re not focusing,” there was anger in his voice and disappointment, as he knocked her to the floor, “2-0” he finished. Kylo was right. Aus hadn’t felt herself since she got there, she guessed having a nightmare about the man in front of her, choking her to death with his own hands got her a little uneasy. She stood and decided that she wouldn’t let him in anymore, she will take revenge for what this nightmare did.

Aus spit, blood staining the floor where it landed. “Alright, you want focused, you got it.” They lunged at one another again, slashing at the other, hitting his saber against her Z6. He started pushing at Aus again, backward to the corner of the room. ‘NO!’ Aus screamed at herself. With a simple thought, she centered herself. Now completely focused she turned to the corner he was pushing her into and ran up the wall, pushing off and landing behind him. He twirled around, saber following suit, it was beautiful. He swung, Aus ducked, stepped back, he swung again, this time she turned and sprang from the other side of the room. Aus rolled onto the mat and jumped to her feet.

Looking at him across the room, Aus ran for him, raising her Z6 to strike, she dropped and slid between his extremely wide stance. Her head barely grazing his thigh. She dropped her weapon and sprang to her feet, jumping on his shoulders. Aus clasped her legs around his neck and swung herself around, causing him to lose balance. They fell. He on his back, Aus let go and landed next to him on her feet. He was confused? Shocked?

Either way, she took the opportunity to strike, without warning, she jumped at him, foot landing a blow to his wrist, he dropped his saber and grunted in discomfort at both the pain in his wrist and the loss of his saber. She bent down and grabbed it at the hilt. It was much heavier than she thought it would be and so much bigger once in hand. Aus looked it over for a second, Kylo squirming to his feet quickly, “give that to me!” he screamed, reaching for it with his other hand. She looked at him “come and get it. Ben. 2-1”, then with a slip of the switch, the red crackling saber came to life.

Anger, fury, possession oozed through the room as stood. Aus backed away, swinging the lightsaber to the side of her, imitating the movements she’d seen him do these past few fights. “How do you know that name!? How dare you! Who do you think you ARE! Useless Trooper!” He screamed again, his hand out quickly, Aus knew what he intended, “no cheating, BEN” she called out to him, “you want your neat lightsaber back, you’ll need to come and win it back fairly, Ben”. His eyes raged with fire as he called the Z6 to him, “Stop saying that!! You will regret ever stepping in here, you will regret your entire existance, faceless, nothing, inventory” the weapon went flying through the air, slamming into his palm.

With two hands he fisted the Z6 and began stalking towards her. At this point Aus had no idea what to do, she was pretty sure he was going to kill her for taking this giant lazer sword thing and for using his birth name, but it was too tempting not too, after all…she saw how to take it and as for his name, it was there…He knew her name and because of him, she now knew his. The saber felt so good in her hands, like a missing limb that she didn’t know was missing. Aus swung at him, meeting the Z6 with a lightening crash fury. Their eyes locked, unmoving, staring intently, hoping to see the others weakness, hoping it told.

His beautiful, fury filled brown eyes never moved. Aus pushed him out of their dead lock, ducked to the side and swung. They went like this for nearly an hour, until yet another lock. Her back ached, her knees ached. They began to buckle under his sheer mass and the amount of force he was using. The rage in his face was gone and in place was a determination instead. Aus landed on the mat below, saber inches from her face, still fighting, pushing, trying to hold off the inevitable. Kylo sat above her, legs spread, knees on both sides of her, resting on the mat, pushing with brut force against her and this borrowed weapon.

“Yield” a low growl came from his chest. Aus didn’t want to give in yet, just a little longer. She can feel the heat from both the Lightsaber and the Z6 on her face. She could feel the heat from his body on her pelvis, his body pressing to hers, she can’t win this match, she knew this…But just maybe for a little longer she could pretend to be his equal. Sweat pouring down them both. Their clothing drenched in it. Her hands beginning to lose the grip they once held, and with this can a sigh, deep with regret and defeat, “I….Yield, Ben”.

He pulled the Z6 away, she switched off the saber and threw her hands above her head. Both fighters breathing heavily, she rolled her eyes back and took a deep breath. “This thing…is soo kriffing badass...here. Thanks for letting me borrow it,” Aus said quickly, handing him the saber. He snatched it and she let her hand slam back down to the mat in exhaustion. It was unclear at this moment whether he was still pissed and would use the saber on her now, defenseless, despite their “truce, for equality”, but she had to show him some faith. Either way, he was going to get it back.

He looked it over once then looked to her. He was still in the same position above her, he hadn’t moved, still startling her pelvis. He had dropped his hand to his side and continued to look at her. Aus felt…curiosity spill from him and something else, but she didn’t recognize it. He is a very curious person, that is the most shocking realization. Her breathing finally slowed back to normal, then she realized, laying there, looking to the ceiling and back to kylo, that she was not getting her bacon. “kriff” Aus whined, rolling her eyes to the back of her head and furling her brows in irritation and reality.

Kylo parted his lips, maybe to say something, when a voice came over the comm system, “Ren! You are needed on the bridge immediately, Supreme leader Snoke has a message for you.” Even through the comm you can hear the snide tone in Huxleys voice. With a huff, Kylo was to his feet and headed for the door. “Ugh” Aus sighed in relief and a bit of sadness. Now they had to go back to real life, the life outside the four walls of the training room. “Again tomorrow. And if you’re not focused or prepared, I will replace you,” he called back, voice even, uncaring, as if he were talking to a trash can. And then he was gone.

Aus went to the restroom, she felt woozy, she hadn’t eaten and what she did eat, she vomited… she felt so weak. She looked at herself in the mirror, a bruise forming on her cheek, spreading to her forehead, a cut on her lip and down the side of her chin. ‘Ive looked better, shit, ive felt better’, she whispered out loud to no one followed by a small laugh.

She wiped the sweat off her face and shoulders with the towel resting on the sink. Leaning onto the counter with her hands, Aus just hung her head with eyes closed. She shook it off after a few moments and stood up, turning to go when the shower caught her eye. ‘A private shower!’ no one would know if she just cleaned up there… And with that thought, she was removing her breast band and undershorts.

As her shorts hit the floor, Aus got this weird sensation, it felt like she was being watched, but more so she felt a warming sensation crawling down her spine and in to her more private area. Aus has never felt this sensation before.  ‘What the hell…?’ she wiggled her body, trying to shake it off, turning to the restroom door and closing it. ‘That was weird’ it was gone once she closed the door. Under the hot, running water, she zoned out, thinking over the sparring that had just occurred.

She sat down and let the water run over her sore and bruised body. Aus thought of the moves each of them executed, how she missed things she knew she saw, how she couldn’t focus, what she could do to win next time. Aus recounted all Kylos moves, beautiful and yet, sometimes very erratic and sloppy. ‘We will work on that tomorrow’. She must have sat in that shower for an hour and it never ran cold, she didn’t have people coming and going, and it was quiet. This must be what physically being alone feels like, she really enjoyed it.


	5. Brush with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

In the mess hall Aus couldn’t bring herself to eat the gelatin meat, so she ordered 2 bread loafs and went on to the Middle Room. “There she is! Commander Rens’ best friend!” a few of her comrades yelled as she entered. Aus just laughed it off as she walked over. “Ouwie, don’t make jokes, you never know whose listening!” she smiled, grabbing her face, trying not to reopen her already healing split lip. “Man, looks like you got your ass handed to you, what the hell?” one of them said looking up from his cards. “Eh, honestly, I did. 3-1…not my finest moments, but he will pay next time, I assure you. Now, deal me in,” Aus glanced to the one with the cards. ”You’re sparring again?” FN-2187 voiced over the table.

Everyone stared at her, waiting on anything she could tell them about the unstable commander they had, “Yes, I have been assigned permanently as his sparring partner. Apparently, assholes, I am a worthy enough opponent for Kylo Ren to actually train with.” she looked down to her newly dealt cards. “Are you sure you’re ok?” FN-2187 whispered to her. Hes a sweet kid, on the sanitation crew. Aus just smiled and nodded. They played cards for a while, then, without fail, the questions came. “Come on, you didn’t tell us anything last time, will you give us anything this time? What’s he look like? Does he really have powers? Does he lose if temper with you in the room, is that how you lost?” they were all so curious. “Fine, I will tell you something. He has black hair. He for sure has force powers, he can totally move shit with out touching it, and that’s what its called, “the force”. Not really sure what that means, but he does, and its real. I lost because my head wasn’t in it, and maybe a bit hungry. As for his tempter, surprisingly, in that room, he is quite relaxed, compared to what we usually witness. Now, that’s it!” Aus threw her hands up in defeat for the second time that night. Her comrads sighed and went back to playing the game.

The new captain was brought up next and how bad he had gotten after she had left for the afternoon. He had put one of the newer troopers in the med bay for falling behind in their run. Her blood began to boil at the thought of this ‘Captain’, this ‘no one’ to her team, being the reason one of her comrades was in the medbay. After the games ended and the hour grew late, they resigned for the night.

Aus laid awake for a few hours, she couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d seen that day, when Kylo called the Z6 to him…she couldn’t do that, but… she could do some things. ‘What if?’ What if she had the force thing? ‘No, that is ridiculous, she was just a stormtrooper.’ That night, when she finally slept, she didn’t dream of anything significant and it was peaceful.

Aus woke completely rested, feeling amazing and ready for the day. The squad geared up, went to the mess hall where she ate an egg mix and bread, avoiding…well you know. The troopers reported for their morning duties. Today she was assigned to the bridge as door guard, along with a fellow trooper, not from her squad. Troopers stand there for 4 hours, unmoving or doing anything unless ordered. They check everyone that enters the bridge for credentials and anything else if they feel like.

2 hours into her shift, Aus received word that there will be no sparring today. Commander Ren was called away for the time being. Displeased, Aus continued her duty, but the day only got worse when her shift had been extended 4 more hours.

Post lunch, Huxley was on the bridge, barking orders at officers and smiling as he looked out the enormous viewing window.

Aus has a slight gift of foresight during combat and the ability to kind of sense what others are feeling, but she rarely got to use something super neat she’d learned how to do, she could move things too. Not big things or like how Kylo does with people, but she had messed around with a few things here and there, like a coffee cup for example. Huxley always brings coffee to the bridge on morning shifts, and it’s always scolding hot. He sets it on a nearby computer desk after entering the bridge to let it sit until its cooled.

Today was no different with Hux, she felt him before she saw him enter. He did as he always does. Aus watched how he tilts the coffee mug to his lips in order to sip off the rim of it. You would think since this had happened a few times already that he would use a lid.  With two fingers, Aus stuck them out towards him, still gripping her rifle. She concentrated on that coffee, telling the coffee not to move, to stay in place as he tilts.

He went to take a sip and stopped. Pulled the coffee cup from his face and looked down at it, he looked up and around, Aus assumed to make sure no one was watching. He then tried again, and again, he could not sip from it. She could hardly keep in her amusement, but she did because a blaster bolt to the chest would not be in her best interest. He looked so angry. ‘Okay’ she whispered to herself, and let the coffee go on his 4th attempt. “AAHH!!!!” he screamed, the coffee poured down his chin, throat and soaked the front of his uniform. “Don’t just stand there! Order me a new uniform, NOW! Tell them I am on my way!” Hux stormed off the bridge and as soon as the doors closed behind him a small sea of giggles swept through the place, including Captain Peavey. The rest of the evening was uneventful as well as the next few days. No sparring, no Huxley pranks, nothing. With the exception of the new Captian…


	6. Harder to Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Aus was set to her normal duties since the last few days of sparing had been cancelled.  The squads new Captain had sent 2 more troopers to medbay with severe wounds. One of them was not expected to make it. The fear and anger has been brewing in her for a while now, ‘this fuck does not need to be here’ she told herself as a promise. “You fucking idiot! How can you miss a target 100 ft away!! You are fucking useless to the Order!” He raised his blaster to the trooper cowering in front of him. Aus was done, she was not going to stand for it any further. She picked up a pike stick that was laying in the weapons pile and rushed over to where they stood.

THWACK!, Aus swung her stick, knocking him down. “What???..You!”, he managed as he rolled over to see who had the audacity to touch him. “You will never again touch any of my troopers. Ever!” Aus spit fury laced words. “You will regret this…All of you! You will all be sent to reconditioning, but you, I will take care of you, Insubordinate shit!” he yelled out, trying to pick his blaster up. She wacked him with the pike stick again then with one foot, stood pressing down on his chest as hard as she could, pressing the stick into his throat. Aus wanted to run it through his worthless neck, end his miserable, useless life.

 “What is the meaning of this?” a mechanical muffled voice spoke out from behind her. Every trooper in sight stood at the highest attention. Looking down at the useless life form below her foot, a smirk across the Captains face. Aus was in a raged induced scowl. She turned to face him and stood at attention while the weasel slithered to his feet, demanding for her death, and some other things she ignored. Commander Ren and General Hux stood there, a few yards from them. In her rage, Aus couldn’t feel Ren or Hux approach, not that it would have changed her actions or the consequences at all.

The Captain crept his way over towards the Officers, limping, looking back to Aus, smiling. Anger seeped off her when she looked to Kylo and Huxley whom were staring at her. “What is the meaning of this!” Hux spit out, walking closer. “Speak trooper!” he ordered. “Sir! The “Captain” is a disgrace. In the few days he’s been in charge, he has been responsible for sending your troops to medbay or worse. And just now, for missing the target during practice, your “captain” was going to kill him here to make an “example” of him for lacking perfection. I will not stand by while some asshole kills my troopers one by one, for not being perfect during training. SIR!”

Aus stood there, awaiting imminent punishment, but it never came. “hhmm. Is this true?” Hux turns to the Captain, “No sir, I would never disgrace the Order the way this DuraRat is with her insubordination, and accusations!” the Captain smirked in her direction as soon as Hux returned his glare. “Lair!” she yelled through gritted teeth. The Captain remained in hiding behind them. The blood in her veins felt like acid, urging Aus to pounce, knowing she’d be able to strike him down before they got to her, the only thing that could possibly stop her before she got to the traitor would be him.

“Very well then,” Hux said, standing straight up, reaching for his blaster. ‘I can take you, you red haired…’ Aus thoughts were cut short with a squeal and begging in the background. “Ren, what are you doing?!” Hux ordered, jumping towards hoim. Kylo had the Captain off the ground and in the air. The captain reached for his own throat, trying to claw at something that wasn’t there. His face turned purple, then blue, and with a flick of his wrist, the captains neck snapped and his corpse now hung in mid-air, limp, eyes open, starring into the Masked eyes of the man that had taken his miserable life.

Kylo dropped the Captains corpse and walked away. Huxley was furious. “Alright then, you all have seen what mistreating the Order and my Military will get you. Back to your duties! Back to your training”! Walking away, Hux glared at Aus, but she couldn’t gauge what his emotions were, he gave off nothing again as he removed himself from the hanger floor.

  The troopers stood there as the Commander and General left. Everyone silent, Looking around at each other. What do they do now? they had no squad leader. A wave of gratitude, clapping, and sound of celebration came through the hanger for a moment. “Always looking out for us, eh!?” FN-2000 said slapping her back. The trooper that was going to be shot came to Aus, unsure of what to say, “thank you….just, thank you…”. It was over as quickly as it started, but it was nice, it was like a small win for the troopers. For the first time they weren’t the ones who lost to an Officers lies.

Sanitation came and took the body to the trash compactor, and that was that. No more Captain. “What do we do now?” FN-2000 asked. Surrounding Aus, her fellow troopers stood waiting for orders. That’s all they knew was orders. “We train, everyone to the range.” Aus said, taking temporary command until they were assigned a new leader.

The range is set up for accommodate 5 shooters at a time. They went in waves of 5. Aus walked back and forth between her troopers, watching as they did their best. After a while of giving help to her comrades, Aus came up with an idea, “fall in, everyone here” she called to them. They did as ordered, falling in and waiting for further instructions. “Remove your helmets” Aus ordered. They all looked at one another and then back to Aus. “I never wear my helmet during training, I don’t want you to anymore either until you have become amazing without it. Remove your helmets” she ordered again. They all hesitated reaching for their heads. As they removed their helmets, one by one, they begun to look at each other with uncertainty. Slowly though, the uncertainty dissipated. They got back to blaster training and finished out the day injury free.


	7. A moment like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

The next day the squad met up for their morning PT and then transition into hand to hand combat training. They still had not been assigned a new Captain or LT, so they just kept on. Aus seemed to pick up the temporary mantle for the time being. During Hand to hand training, she was showing her troopers moves they could do in the armor they wear, if they should ever lose their weapon they should at least have some fighting chance. Aus began pairing up her troopers, having them spar with each other while she watched.

Basic hand to hand is taught to them during training academy, but she wanted them to be better. One by one Aus called each of them to spar against her. And one by one they fell. Half way through, she got that feeling again, like she was being watched and that warming sensation travelled down her spine… she turned but there was no one. Aus resumed sparring with her opponent when she felt it again, only this time stronger. When she turned again, “Attention! Commander on the floor!” Aus commanded. The troops stood tall, proud and helmetless. Kylo walked directly towards her. He stopped, standing in front of her only a few feet away, looking past her to her troops. Kylo scanned them moving his helmeted head from one side to the other and back down to Aus and back up.

“FN-2905, you are promoted to LT and will take lead of Squadron 4”. Without thinking Aus smiled huge and glanced up to the masked face before her, in the same instance she realized her mistake and steadied her face back into that of a soldier. Kylo said nothing further and went off. “Kriff yeah!” her squad shouted...Her squad. Laying in bed that night Aus thought of the different training she wanted to implement and strategies that she knew would make her squad the best.

“Today we will be doing something a little different. I have set up the ranges to record your shots on a point system. Each of you get 10 shots per round. The trooper with the highest score at the end of the day will get 1 hour knocked off their next shift. You got it?” Aus looked out at her troopers unmasked faces and saw the excitement in their eyes. 5 lined up, 5 shot their 10 shots and stepped back. The next 5 walked up and took their places. 10 shots each and they were done.

This morning Aus received a new cadet to her team, she was young, 19 maybe. The new cadet refused to remove her helmet. Aus understood though, she had just come from academy and they instill that troopers are faceless, never to remove their helmet unless given permission. Though Aus did gave her permission, the cadet opted not to remove. She could have ordered her but didn’t see the point.

At lunch before they all returned to their duties, it was Aus’ turn in the chow line to pick her poison. “I’m a LT now, does that mean I’m allowed Officers food?” Aus asked the cook. He laughed, “Captains and up only, LT means nothing,” he laughed.  “1 bread and the yellow stuff” she sighed out in disgust. Aus ate her “food” then went to her assigned post in the hanger. “Lt,” a messenger officer called to me. “You are called to training room 13”.

Aus entered the room to find it empty. She waited a moment, figuring out what she should do next. Finally Aus removed her armor and prepared for a session. She went into the restroom to pee and when she came out, Kylo was waiting by the counter, already disrobed for training. “Hello, Ben” Aus said in passing to the center of the mat. Kylo turned around, “I have something for you”. Aus was leery of what the commander of the first order would have for her, but did as he requested. “Yes, sir?” Aus said. “Not sir, we are in training, your rules remember?” he said expressionless, “Here”.

He pointed to a covered plate on the counter next to him. Aus looked at him curiously then to the plate. She removed the cover to reveal 3 pieces of bacon sitting there, as well as a blood orange. She was stricken with shock. Her mouth hung open, “I lost our last session”. “You did. However, you also managed to disarm me and take my Lightsaber. No one has bested me like that and had they… Do you want them or not?” He huffed. Aus looked back and forth between Kylo and the 3 strips of bacon and the orange, “thank you,” she softly spoke, laying her hand on his arm. He stared into her eyes for only a second, then wiggled out of her grip. He nodded and walked away towards the center of the room.

Aus returned her hungry gaze to the food, and like a child receiving something special for the first time, she grabbed one of the strips, placed it under her nose and inhaled. “Oh Gods, it smells wonderful” she moaned aloud, not caring that Kylo could hear her. Aus moved the strip of salted meat to her lips then inserted it into her mouth. She bit down on it and it was crispy. It was salty and was more than she ever thought food could ever taste. “Oh GODS, Ben! This is amazing! No wonder most of the officers are so fat! I would be too if I got to eat this everyday, all day!! Well and did nothing…. OH GODS!” she laughed and smiled. Aus looked to Kylo as he ignored her. She was unsure if he is irritated, annoyed, or angry or whatever, it didn’t matter she was happy.

Aus finished the piece and moved to the blood orange, she peeled it and broke it in half. With one hand now holding a piece of bacon and other holding the orange, she stretched her arms out towards kylo, “would you join me?” she asked, little hesitation in her voice. Aus wasn’t sure Kylo would ever accept anything from anyone, especially her, but she asked anyway.  “No,” he looked to her, shaking his head, then he looked to his feet, like he was trying to practice his foot placement. “Are you sure? I promise if you join me, ill kick your ass afterward, Ben. Please?” no hesitation now and adding a slight shimmy, in hopes to lighten his mood. Kylos face unchanging while he considered her for a moment, then he walked to her “fine.” Taking the bit of orange and the strip of bacon from her hands, he stood next to Aus and ate. “My name is Kylo.” He said. They stood there, not saying anything for a few moments. Aus couldn’t stop herself from smiling and thinking how wonderful this day had been.

“You never answered my question, in our last session. How do you know that name? You will tell me.” He had finished eating, then stepped toe to toe with Aus, towering over her. Kylo was trying to intimidate her. His chest was rising and lowering quickly. She could tell he was trying to hide anger, the urge to burst, lash out, but then why accept her offer? “I…When you, looked through my mind. I pushed back, then threw up my shield, or wall…Before it went up something spilled through from yourself. ‘Ben’ was a name that came up a lot. I…heard things, but it was so broken, it was hard to tell what any of it was. except ‘Ben’…I don’t know many Bens, but you look like one,” Aus waited for him to lash out, she knew it was coming. Though his pulse quickened and everything was yelling at him to do so, he did not. Aus could feel the anger radiating from him, but he stood there a moment longer then walked away.

“Ben…can you…can you tell me what the force is? Why you have it?”

He stopped and turned towards her, “why do you want to know about it?”

Aus looked around the room, she wanted to tell him about some of the things she could do, but was afraid and was not usually afraid of anything. He should be able to feel it if she had it, right? Why hadn’t he said anything? “I don’t know, just thought it might be something to know” she responded.

“If you beat me today, I will tell you about the force.”

Kylo turned swiftly, ignited his fire blade and they started their first match. Aus used a pike stick today, after yesterday she quite liked handling it. It has an electric blade on both ends and swung around quite nicely. Though it is not the greatest at stopping a lightsaber, the electric blades on the end will.

3 matches down, 2-1 Aus. Their last match was a lot of running around the room, dodging, pushing and kicking. Aus wishfully thought to herself that perhaps neither of them were ready for the match to end just yet. There were a few times he should have ended her, and her ending him, but they just kept going. Until a miscalculation on Aus’s end, she had swung and he caught it. Shutting down his saber and throwing it to the side, he landed both his hands on the center of the stick as they fought over it. Twisting, pulling, pushing at the other. But, he did something she couldn’t do. Kylo lifted his arms with the stick in hand and her attached, twisted his arms, turning the stick around just as quickly. He pulled her and the stick tightly to him. With her back to his torso and his arms twisted around her, she couldn’t move.

Kylo held it just below her chest, resting on it on her ribcage. Aus thought of options, but realized she couldn’t drop to escape, she couldn’t jump or punch or hit hard enough that would aid in escape. She shruggled against him trying to free herself, SHE was not going to lose. No matter how nicely he felt against her or how amazing his crossed arms embracing her made her wish he was holding tighter. ‘Wait, what I am thinking?’ she thought frantically, ‘no!’ she was not going to lose.

 “Yield” a whisper came from over her shoulder, tickling her ear, sending strange sensations. Aus felt her body almost shut down at that moment. She felt the warm sensation again, blood pumping in all her sensitive areas, but there was something else swarming around them, rushing through them. Aus had no idea what it was, but it was intense. ‘Why the hell does this happen when he’s around, only him?’ Yes, her body was already over heated from training, but this was different.  For a second, Aus gave in to this feeling, closing her eyes and rolling her head back against his chest and slightly towards the sound of the whisper.

The stick dropped to the floor, but neither went anywhere. Kylos arms still tightly embracing her, “yield, Aus” he whispered again, his hot breath on her neck. “No..” she whispered back. ‘What is this?’ she felt outside herself. Kylos heart was beating erratically into the back of her head, just as erratic as hers. In this moment Aus thought she could do one of two things: She could either yield and allow him a tie, or she could figure out a way to win and win the day…or…She guessed there was a third, she could yield, eventually and they could just stand there like this for a little longer….she wasn’t sure of this feeling, but she found herself liking it…it was scary as hell, but she liked it. “Ben..” she whispered…Kylo leaned his face into the side of her head, brushing his lips across her ear, “Aus..?” he whispered back.

“Ren, you are needed on the bridge immediately! Possible Resistance location and Skywalker” came over the comm and then it was all over. Kylos arms dropped right then, his whole demeanor changed. He grabbed his saber and headed out the door. Aus felt cold…Aus felt alone…and she felt like nothing. She walked into the restroom and hopped in the shower. The hot water ran over her body, and it felt good. She still felt that warming sensation, there… ‘what I am supposed to do? Do I just wait til it goes away? Whats the point in it?’ she thought. Aus started thinking about Ben, his arms around her, his beautiful face, his slight smiles here and there while they were training. His warm body against her own, slight skin….touching…they were touching. He embraced her like the troopers who had stolen a few moments in the dark a few weeks prior. She couldn’t stop thinking about his lips brushing against her ear…his hot breath…. The way her name rolled off his lips, like he’d said it a million times before. He said her name…

Aus finished her shower and headed back to the squad. They were pulling a later duty than normal tonight. She spoke with her second in command. Fn-2000 gave her the finished scores from the range that would be presented the next day. They finished up their duties for the evening and everyone went their separate ways. Aus was exhausted and opted for bed. She dreamt things that night, things she had never dreamt.

\--Bodies laced around one another, dark hair, light hair, hands moving around. The sound of moaning and heavy breathing coming from them. Eyes, brown eyes looking into her brown eyes. They are so deep, “let me swim in them, please! I want to be lost in them, forever”…Tongues swiping over each other. Hot skin, hot breaths. Touching.

                The next several weeks were uneventful. Small battles here and there, small villages and small groups of Resistance fighters. Duties remained the same, with slight change. Training with her troopers was going very well. The general had taken notice to her unorthodox leadership, but let them be for now. Aus trained with Kylo several times as well, but he was business as usual. No more intimate moments, though he did bring her food still here and there and she appreciated it. They barely spoke, only insulting the other and enjoying a bit of banter, but something was off since that moment they shared weeks prior.


	8. Who knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“Platoon 1, report to hanger 3. Platoon 1, report to hanger 3”, came over the loud speaker into the troop barracks. They woke quickly and ran to gear up. Squad 4 met up in the hanger where the troopers line up and await further orders. While waiting she went over her protocol for combat. “You are to keep your blasters on stun at all times. If we kill everyone, there will be no one for the Order to rule over. Most people are there because they have nowhere to go, it’s not right to kill them all when they don’t have a choice. They may still try to kill us, but they can’t if they’re knocked out!!” she reminded her crew.

They all nodded, except the new girl “that is against First Order policy, Lt. protocol states…” she was about to go on a rant but Aus stopped her. “You will obey my direct orders, do you understand, trooper!” she ordered. She stood tall and just nodded, “yes, Lt! I will obey your orders”.  

“We are assisting Commander Ren on a Resistance friendly planet. They have something he believes will lead us to an end of this ridiculous war with the pathetic Resistance. Board the ship and stand at the ready!” the Captain yelled. The squads boarded, strapped in and at the ready. Kylo entered the ship and as usual, everyone grew quiet. He passed by the lines of troopers, but stopping suddenly. Kylo turned his head part way over his shoulder, he could feel the her. The moment passed as he snapped it forward and moved on.

30 minutes later, they descend from the ship as the landing gate opened. Ren was first out, searching for something. Troopers dispersed everywhere. Squad 4 stood in wait. Blaster fire started from over the hill, taking out troopers in the first wave. Aus motioned for her squad to break off and start stunning everyone they could.

A man was brought to Kylo during the fight, but it didn’t look like he found what he was looking for, he cut the man down and moved on. Blocking blaster fire after blaster fire, Kylo kept searching.

Aus ran around a building, and nearly running into a woman and child. They were terrified, dirty, and covered in blood. They backed away in fear. Aus tried to calm them, so she took her helmet off, “its alright, I wont hurt you. But you can’t stay here.” Looking around, she spotted an old chimney or oven of some sort that had already been half knocked down. “Come with me, I’ll help you hide” She gestured to them to follow her, but they wouldn’t budge. “Please, come with me,” urging them again, this time the little girl pulled the woman with her following she. Aus threw her helmet back on as they raced across the alley to the broken brick oven.

 “You should be safe here, do not come out until you hear the ships leave. Ok? Stay in the corner so no one sees you, and don’t make a sound” Aus finished. The woman whispered, “thank you” as she entered and took the child with her.

 Rounding the corner, Aus began her journey back towards the fight. Crossing the opening, she saw something, a foresight, A blaster bolt flying towards kylo and hitting him dead. Aus didn’t think, she just started running, she didnt know why but she did and slammed into him hard enough to knock him over, taking the blaster bolt in the chest. Her helmet flew off as she fell forward, hitting the ground. Her vision started to blur and the last thing she saw was a monster, surrounded by the flames, looking down at her, stretching out his hand. 


	9. Glitter in the Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***marks naughty moments***

Aus opened her eyes to a white ceiling and the smell of Bacta. The lights were bright and the room was cold. “ow!” she grunted out as she tried to sit up. “You need to stay in the horizontal position, Lt FN-2905. Your wound is healing fast, but you are not ready to move yet” the med droid said while trying to hold Aus down. Aus finally accepted her physical state during the struggle and laid back down. “What happened?” she inquired of the droid. “You received a blaster shot to the upper right area of your chest in combat 3 days ago.” Aus had been in MedBay for 3 days. It hurts, but she could feel that the wound was mostly healed as the droid said. “When can I return to duty?” already thinking about her escape. “You may leave tomorrow morning and return to light duty, if you must.” The droid finished its inspection of her wound and moved out of sight.

The doors opened a few minutes later and in came three officers heading directly toward Aus. Two of them she didn’t know, but she knew the Captain, Captain Johnson, a grade A asshole.

“FN-2905” he said as he stood over her. It was extremely uncomfortable, it felt as if he was going to smother her with a pillow.

“Lt.” she replied.

“excuse me?” Johnson retorted.

“I was promoted a few weeks ago by commander Ren” she responded.

Johnson sneered and continued, “Lt. FN-2905…”

“Yes, sir?” Aus replied.

“Lt. FN-2905, can you tell me why we found your blaster on stun in a combat zone?” he casually asked.

 “I am unsure sir. Perhaps when throwing it to the side and sacrificing…ow….myself for Commander Ren,  hitting the ground hard enough may have switched it. But it is unclear, Sir”.

 My answer seemed to be disgust his ears as he frowned. His brows furrowed and he began to look angry. The door opened behind them again as she closed her eyes.

“Captain, you are done with this inquiry. Back to your stations.” Kylo ordered, walking by, not looking to them. The look of fear in all 3 of their faces said It all, and they about faced and practically ran out of there. Aus laid there, glancing the Commander up and down while he just stared down to her, he said nothing. Kylo turned away “how is your wound?” not turning his body to face her, but only allowing a profile of his helmet be seen.

“It hurts like hell. Droid says its healing quickly though, I will be released in the morning for light duty, but I will be ready for training by tomorrow afternoon, Sir”

“good” he replied. “You will start your training tomorrow.” Then he quickly turned and left the room.

“My training? What training?” she asked, but he was gone.

Aus fell asleep and a few hours later awoke to 10 familiar faces. “Lt. Shes awake! Ah man. We have been so worried about you.. that and FN-2000 is a nightmare leader in your absence.” FN-2177 jested, “hey, fuck you, slimeball!” FN-2000 yelled at him. Aus smiled, feeling joy at seeing all of them. “Well, troopers, I’m more pleased to see all 10 of you. Ill be out tomorrow, then we will get back to normal” she pointed at them, with laughter in her voice. They all smiled, but then there were exchanges of looks, and awkward lip movements.

“You tell her...” “No you tell her” whispers were going back and forth between some of them. “I’ll tell her, jeeze,” FN-2000 griped at the others. She turned to face Aus, looking like she was trying to muster up the courage to speak, “Lt…do you remember what happened after you were shot?”. Aus shook her head no, not really. “Well, after you were shot, Commander Ren got up, looking around, he started force choking what we can only assume what the shooter in the distance. Well….after he was done..” she hesitated to finish. “What? Double 0, tell me what happened, it can’t be that bad,” she urged.

They all exchanged glances again. “Well, uh.. Commander Ren, he wouldn’t let any body touch you. He ordered us to stay back when we came running to your aid once we saw you fall, then ordered for us to fall back to the ship. We thought you were dead because of his order. Until…Until we saw him… carrying you into the shuttle and ordering the pilots, urging them back to the Finalizer immediately,” She finished, biting her lip, unsure if she should have told Aus. “Are you sure?” laughing back at them, “that sounds like some silly fairytale, ha ha”. They just starred at Aus and nodded their heads. This information is unsettling. She stopped laughing, they were serious…“well I wouldn’t put much thought into it, I saved his life, so maybe he was just returning the favor, in any case im here, you all are here, and we are still the best squad in the fleet.” They all cheered and high fived each other. After they left Aus slept for the rest of the night.

Aus forced herself out of med bay as early as she could. Her chest still wrapped to protect the already healed wound and her arm in a sling. She stepped into the durasteel hall and took a deep breath.

She entered the mess hall, but nauseous at the site of it, she made her way to the hanger and waited for her squad to show up instead.

After awhile they plowed into the hanger space. Unable to wear her armor, her driod doctors orders, she wore sweats for the day. Officers gave dirty looks, troopers confused and slightly amused as they pass by. Aus set up her squad at the range for scoring, “FN-2177, you are off shift an hour early today, as per your scores yesterday, way to go. Now the rest of you, these scores are good, but lets get them higher, I want tight scores!! Ha ha, lets go. Wave 1, you’re up.” They fell in and began their game.

While in the Medbay, Aus actually got real food and the thought of what was in the mess hall, just didn’t sit well with her. She went without and will until she can’t. Aus arrived to the training room an hour early and not surprised to find it empty. She removed her sweats, sling and the wrap around her chest, leaving her breast band in place. She rotated her arm around, stretching it trying to loosen it up, trying to get used to the pain that was still there. Aus had always been a fast healer, but never had she been near death, it seems to take a bit longer to heal.

Aus picked up the Pike Stick and began swinging it around using both arms. It was painful to use both arms, but she had to push through. Aus focused on favoring the “good” arm, swinging it around above her head, to the sides and around her body. It become easier to maneuver as she went on.

The door opened behind her, turning she swung her Pike stick around and stopped it inches from Kylo’s chest. He stood there with her stick at his chest. She lowered it, turning away. Kylo walked around behind her and towards the counter. She heard the release of his helmet hiss through the room as he removed it. Aus looked up, Kylos back was to her as she watched him remove his neck seal, cowl and unzipped his surcoat. The monster peels away and becomes the man underneath. Kylo stopped and turned his head slightly. He knew she was watching. Aus turned around quickly, staring at the weapons wall, her face growing hot with embarrassment.

Already knowing the answer, Kylo spoke “I’m going to assume you didn’t eat”. “I was fed well during my Medbay stay, im fine,” she replied. He shook his head, “come” as he turned back towards the counter “Join me?” he asked removing the cover off a large plate.

It was filled with meat and fruits and vegetables…and bacon. Aus was hesitant, looking him up and down again, then to the food. She nodded and grinned “Ok, Ben” and grabbed a piece of fruit.

He let of a huff and reached for the food as well. It’s been so long since she had real, unprocessed fruit or food of any kind. She almost felt like crying at how amazing the flavors were. There was silence between them, as usual, but it was nice. “How are feeling?” Ben finally spoke. Aus shrugged, “Still hurts like hell, but healed, I can actually move my arm now” she returned her fingers to the plate, grabbing a piece of bacon. Aus could feel Ben watching her as she ate. 

After they finished the plate, she went to the restroom and washed her hands. When she came back out, Kylo was already warming up with his saber. Aus stood there and watched him, mesmerized by his movements.

“Today we start your training.”  His voice steady, even.

“What do you mean? Ben, we’ve been training, for almost 2 months now,” she smirked, grabbing her pike stick.

Kylo grabbed the stick out of her hand and threw it to the side. “You know what I mean” his voice intense.

Aus was baffled, staring up at his beautiful face.

“You really don’t know, do you?” he searched her face for something, but didn’t find it, “you are strong with the force, very untrained, but strong and you will only get stronger once your power fully awakens. I want to teach you, train you.”

She laughed hard, “I must have pushed you harder than I thought, you’re out of your mind.”

Kylo unmoved, “you don’t believe that”.

Aus avoided his intense, accusing gaze, “I mean, yeah sure, I can see the future sometimes, but only during fights. I can feel what others are feeling, and yeah, sure.. I can tilt a coffee cup 100ft away, but that doesn’t mean I have “the force”.” Aus giggled for a few seconds longer, but stopped when Kylo didn’t change. “You’re serious?” her face went blank, eyes wide. Sickness washed over her.

Aus just shook her head in disbelief, “no, no…no.” she took a deep breath, “what kind of training?”

His face relaxed he almost looked pleased, “there will be endless training, but for today, I want to talk about the force.”

She nodded and they went to the center of the room and sat, opposite each other.

“Tell me about your abilities” Kylo said, commanding and low.

Aus was scared, she’d never spoke about them to anyone. “Well…I um…. Like I said, I can see things before they happen, but it seems to only ever happen when im fighting. I see things a few seconds before it happens, gives me plenty of time to react….”

He looked at her, “hhmm, that’s not a common ability, have you tried using it for anything else?”

“I don’t try using it, it just happens….” She replied.

Kylo just kept staring at her, his emotions were so loud and full of excitement? Calm? Sadness? Familiarity? hope?

“As for feeling what others feel, that one sucks, especially because most people aboard this ship feel fear and hate… Huxley oozes hate and self-righteousness, it’s sickening. Though strange, sometimes I can’t feel him at all. Usually when you’re around.”

“Huxley?” He asked.

“Nickname given to Hux by us faceless troopers who aren’t really fans of him.”

“Can you read minds, I mean with out forcing yourself into someones head like the prisoners or our second training session?” she asked him.

Kylo shook his head “No, I don’t have that ability, I have heard of very few who do, but in order to see into someones mind, you have to push. It’s easier when you’re allowed to enter, instead of resisting. As for Hux, you can feel his emotions when I’m not around? Hhmm. That makes sense, he knows I have the force and has trained for a long time to hide himself from it.”

‘Interesting’ she thought, then spoke “I can feel you, when you’re around, its only been recently, but when I feel you and… I know its you. Is that common?”

“It’s a force signature. Everything has a feeling or force signature of some kind. Actual force users have very different signatures however. You probably feel it now because your powers are growing” Kylo said.

Aus nodded.

“Now it’s starting to awaken, perhaps due to your time with me, another force user” he Replied.

“Does this happen often? In the Order? People like you and me?” she inquired.

“No. There’s myself and my knights. All force users, I am their master. And then, there’s you, who slipped through unnoticed.”

Aus knew of the knights of Ren, she had seen them few times over the years. They never speak, just follow him. The Knights are usually stationed 1 per ship, but that is all she knew. As for going unnoticed, that is the life of a stormtrooper.

“Ben, I understand that you want to get into this force stuff right away, but its a lot for me to take in...do you think we could just spar for the rest of the day and pick this up at another time? Please?”

Kylos face grew agitated, he rose to his feet and paced. Aus jumped to her feet and went for the stick laying down. “YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THIS GIFT, THIS OPPORTUNITY TO BECOME SOMETHING MORE THAN YOU WOULD EVER BE AND YOU WANT TO THROW IT AWAY!” he yelled, face redden and pointing his finger at her.

Aus didn’t fear him, but she was taken back by his outburst, she almost forgotten what they were like and it startled her “Ben, I just found out about the force, that it exists, that im not some sort of freak. But its new to me, and it scares me a little and that’s saying a lot, I’m not afraid of anything. I need the time to let it sink in. Im throwing nothing away.”

He seemed to hear her and calmed himself. “In any case, I’ve been in medbay for 3 days, unable to move because of you, I need to let off some steam and If that means kicking your ass while I process, then let me.”

Kylo grabbed his saber from his waist “I will not be taking an easy on you just because youre wounded,” he quipped.

Aus grinned and raised her brow, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, after all, I have a winning streak to maintain.”

Kylo let out a bellow of a “Because you cheat.”

“I don’t cheat!” Aus snapped back.

“You have said no force use and it’s you whose been using it” Kylo ripped.

Aus dropped her shoulders and laughed, he was right but its not like she did it on purpose.

“ok, ok, you’re right, and that is probably the only time I will tell you that, ever. But come on, I would be absolutely no physical match for you, you are insanely strong, I should know, I train with you. But I think you like it, it actually gives you a fair match!” she smiled, setting into her fighting stance. Kylo smirked, then they started.

Aus used both arms in the beginning, but after a while, the pain became too much in her shoulder and chest. She changed her strategy to avoid any contact. Ducking, rolling. Jumping. She was beginning to irritate him, she could tell and she liked it. He was getting sloppier the more irritated he became. She slid to the side as he lunged and swung. She wacked him on the back of the knees, dropping him instantly. Aus threw her stick around his neck and with all her might, held it there with both hands tightly around each end.

Aus kneed him in the side and hunched over he went. She removed the stick quickly and wacked him again in the same side. He held his hand there, trying to continue getting to his feet. Aus jumped at his chest, slamming him hard into the floor mat below, his head smacking hard against it. She pressed her stick long ways to his neck while she sat on his chest. “Yield!!” she shouted, pressing harder. His hands fighting against the stick. “No!” he managed out. “Yield, Ren!!” She shouted again. Instant rage struck his eyes, he removed one hand from the stick and pressed it hard against the healed wound on her chest. The pain was angonizing and she felt like she was going to be sick.

The pain shot through her and she dropped the stick reaching for the wound. With 2 free hands, he grabbed her waist, pushed up with his body and flipped her on to the mat. Her back to the mat, head slamming, her hand still holding her wound. Aus kicked at him. He grabbed her legs and held one down with one hand. She rolled to the side trying to reach for the pike stick, but it was to far out of reach. She tried to move it like she did the coffee cup, but it sat there untouched. He had one of her legs pinned down between his legs and the other pinned down with one hand.

Aus tried throwing punches at him as he leaned over, trying to grab her hands. “Yield!” he commanded with a low voice. “Never!” Aus shouted back. She had tears at the corner of her eyes from the pain her movements were causing, but she wasn’t going to lose. With both his hands, he caught her fists mid air and pressed them above her head. Fury sent through her, shruggling trying to get her now freed leg over his arm to his face, hoping to get out of the lock. “Yield” he commanded, softly. His hair falling around his face as he looked down into her eyes. Kylo inches away from her face.

Their chests meeting eachother as they breath heavily. Their hearts beat faster. Her body warmed with a sensation so hot she could feel it everywhere.

****In a sudden rush, Kylo pressed his lips to hers. Her eyes popped open, then slowly shut as the tingling sensation ran over her body. Aus could feel want and desire pouring of him, or was it her? It didn’t matter, they were kissing on the floor in the middle of the training room and it was amazing. He pulled away too quickly as Aus whimpered at the loneliness her mouth felt. Kylo was still only a few inches above her, slowly moving away, releasing her hands.

Aus moved her hands back down to her sides, neither of them taking their eyes off the other. Kylo pushed himself to his knee, still locking one of her legs in place. She laid there, looking up at his statuesque physique, marveling at it. She sat up with hurried desire, grabbing his neck, pulling him back down to her. He obliged by wrapping his arms around her as they fall back to the mat.

This time she wanted to do what she had seen the troopers doing. Aus slid her tongue along his lips hoping he would open and allow her in, and he did. Meeting her tongue with the heat of his. Aus was lightheaded, it was like the room was swarming around them. Aus could feel every part of his being, all his wants, desires, fears, everything. It was so much and she craved more. Their tongues were in a desperate battle against one another, lips mashed. Noses moving back and forth. She’d never done this before, but it came so naturally. It felt as if they’d done it a hundred times, but it the first.

His body pressing against hers hard and she didn’t mind the weight of him at all, she wanted more of it if she could get it. Kylo moved his legs and positioned himself in between hers. The heat from his body, his scent is so intoxicating, it was like a drug she never wanted to be clean of. Aus grabbed at the back of his head, pushing him further into her face. Then she felt it. Kylo began to slowly rock himself against her.

The motion elicited a gasp and moan from both of them. “mmmMM!..” she breathlessly let out, running her nails across his bare back. Kylo moved his face from her lips to her chin then to her neck and ran his tongue, his lips and teeth along it, “yes?” he breathed out. Her breath hitched in her throat at the unfamiliar rush of pleasure running down from her neck to her sex.

He thrusted against her harder now. Aus opened her legs wider allowing him closer. Aus could feel him pressing against something there, she gasped at this new feeling. It was a sharp shock wave of warm pleasure unlike the before. “Oh Gods, what..? what? Is…that?” she whispered out. Kylo came crashing back to her mouth with his, there was more than just want in his kiss now, there was fire and it wanted to consume.

He started grinding harder against her, against that spot that made her shout. Both of them grunting and moaning, “OH GODS, BEN!” she yelled, feeling a building pressure in the core of the spot his pelvis was grinding on. Aus was terrified, what is this, she felt like she was going to pee, “stop, im……im going to…I don’t…know what..this..”

But she couldn’t stop kissing him, needing him near and seconds later the pressure was too much and her body began to convulse, pulsing insanely there, her breath staggering and a sensation unlike anything she thought she had ever known, a pleasure she had never experienced or thought existed burst through her with such intensity that her toes curled and felt numb. Her fingers curled and dug into his arms.

His kiss stilled in place, open mouth resting at the corner of her lips and partly on her cheek while she pulled away to try to catch air. He was still grinding against her, breathing harder.

“Au…Aus” he staggered out as his body began to slightly convulse. His face moved to her neck as their bodies shivered out the last of the pleasure high they both had just experienced. ***

They laid there for a few moments, holding eachother, trying to catch their breaths. Kylo brought his face up to hers once again, looking into her eyes, then one last kiss. He pushed himself up and stood. Looking down at her, he extended his hand. Aus took it without hesitation. She stood, wobbly, steading herself with his help. “I’m good, thank you” she let go of him and walked to the restroom.

Her cheeks were flushed and her face hot. Her mouth tingled as much as the rest of her. What the hell just happened? And why did she like it some much?

Looking into the mirror, trying to process everything, finding herself already missing the pressure of his body against hers, Kylo stood outside the doorway. Neither of them spoke. Uncertainty rolled off him. He parted his lips to speak, but instead pressed them together hard and turned, walking out of sight. Aus washed her face, a few moments later she heard the doors open and he was gone. Aus stripped down to nothing and got into the shower. She didn’t want to wash the scent of him off her, but she needed a cold shower and needed to be clean. Aus stood there, under the cold water, trying to push it all away, the feeling….the thoughts. But they stayed, and honestly, she was more than happy to keep them.


	10. U and Ur hand tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“Lt. FN-2905, report to General Hux, immediately.” Came through the rooms comm. Pulling her sweat pants on and readjusting her sling, she stood and groaned. “Just great,” Aus huffed out and went on my way to his office.

The Finalizer is huge. From where she was, outside the Training rooms, it would take her almost 15 minutes to get to Huxley’s office. She hated being called there, he’s a creep. Aus had been in there a few times over the past few years due to her “behavior problems” as well as her “excellent combat stats”.

The General eyed her with oddity, she always felt uncomfortable in his office. Hux would always stand close to her, make her remove her helmet so he can see her face. She had felt his breath on her neck numerous times as he would berate her or praise her. She was thankful that he never did more.

Aus has had an unforgettable run in with Hux and Phasma that she would love to forget, and surely did not want to think of it now.

“Come in Lt FN-2905. Why are you out of uniform?!” Hux whined as she entered his office. Huxleys office was as cold and pale as he.

“Sir, due to my injury I was ordered by medical not to wear my gear for a few more days, that is if I wish to heal correctly and be of use to the Order” she stood as tall as she could with out stretching her wound too much. It was extremely sore and tender, thanks to a certain someone.

“Is that so? Yet you were in the training room when called. Hmm…” he walked to his desk, grabbing a data pad. Looking down then back to her, “it seems you have caught the eye of our fearless Commander Ren. Promotion; killing a Captain at your word. And even giving you your own quarters as of today, wow. You must be an amazing training partner..”

“Sir? I do not have my own quarters. Nor do I believe Commander Ren killed anybody for me. He has force abilities. He probably saw the truth through that snake lied. He killed him for his own purpose”

“hhmm, you may be right, however, it is quite odd” His snide remarks filled the air. “You have been Rens sparring trooper for the last few weeks, yes?”

“Almost 2 months. I was to be a temporary until his permanent Trooper returned”

 “Why you? You are hardly the example of discipline, though your fighting record is quite admirable” He sneered.

“I was unsure myself. I asked him. To my surprise he responded by not killing me. Commander Ren had observed a several Troopers over the course of a few days to replace his former sparring trooper. He was intrigued by my hand to hand style of fighting” Aus replied confidently.

Hux began to circle her again, looking Aus up and down, Hux stopped behind her, leaning just over her shoulder and into her ear. She could feel him, he wasn’t hiding his greed, hate, amibition, but when he came closer, she felt something familiar…’digusting’ she thought. His hot breath on her skin made her sick, not like what Ben made her feel.

But hes also very curious, not just about Ren but about her as well. She couldn’t know exactly since she couldn’t read minds, but it left her with an uneasy feeling.

“In your last on ground battle, you saved Ren from a blaster bolt by taking it yourself. Why?!” his voice laced with distain, like venom.

“Sir, if the Order is to achieve its goal and win this war, one of our greatest assets should make it through to ensure victory,”

Hux walked back to his desk, looking throught the window into the Hanger that over looks the troopers below on duty, training and repairing vessels. “Ren has never used his position before to promote, or ensure the wellbeing of anyone, let alone a trooper. Are the rumors true, Ren really carried you from the battlefield after taking a bullet for him, then to the MedBay?”

“I don’t know sir. After taking the hit, I was out. I haven’t cared to ask anybody about what happened nor has anyone offered information. As far as my promotion sir, though I didn’t ask, I want to assume its because I am a very worthy opponent to the Commander in the sparring session and have proven my leadership skills as well.”

“What does that mean, Trooper” he turned to look at her, his face annoyed and curious.

“It means I knock him on his ass, at least half of the time. I do believe today we tied, but the last match before my injury, I was 2-1.” Aus tried desperately not to think of todays “match”, but they did tied….

At this comment Hux smirked, “Ok, Lt. FN-2905. You will resume your current schedule with Ren and you will report back to me anything that seems significant or not. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir. However, Commander Ren never speaks. I go in, prepare for training, and fight. That is it. There may be insults thrown around, but nothing else. Is there something you’re looking for that I may keep an eye open too?”

Hux went silent for a moment, looking her up and down once more. ‘He’s searching for something, but I cant sense what it is’ she thought. “Very well. If he shows signs of instability or of the like, more than what he already shows, that would be report worthy. Do you understand?” His face.

“Very well. Will that be all sir?”

Hux considered her a moment, then walked towards her again. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking ‘how did she come to be surrounded by these predators?’ Hux stopped behind her, she could see his hands hovering slightly behind her at her shoulders. Aus froze, she would pounce this monster if he touched her, especially if he touched her like Ben did.

Hux stopped himself, a strange form of desire mixed with his heightened curiosity oozed over her. Finally nodding, Hux dismissed her. He looked intently at her, the corner of his lips upturning into a grin, “knock Ren on his ass once or a twice more for me, will you?” Aus nodded, then returned to the barracks.

She went to her cot, but her things were no longer there. “Who moved my shit!” she said, irritated, looking around. “Lt, don’t you know, you were moved to officers quarters. Troopers came and took your stuff there.”

Double 0 spoke from her cot across the way “Seems Rens pleased that you saved his life or something. You lucky shit! If I knew that is how I could get my own room, I would have done something like that years ago! Ha ha” she remarked. The few of her squad that was in there, giggled at this. Aus gave in to the fact that she was indeed moved as Hux said, and smiled at the idea of her own private space, for the first time in her life.

Reality hit Aus once she got there. Aus walked in to the corridor, it seemed to stretch on for miles. There were rows and rows of doors to small one person rooms. Aus found her new quarters near one of the elevators, she placed her hand on the recognition pad and entered.

It’s a small room, the size of a cell, but there was an actual bed along the wall, a desk underneath a viewing porthole and to the right of the door, an extended closet that held her trooper gear and few other belongs she had. Next to that, another door. Aus went to the door to inspect it, as it opened, she let out a gasp, “my own bathroom!!!”. There was a full shower, sink with mirror and a toilet. It was difficult to sleep that night. A new place, a quiet place. Her comrades nowhere near.

Her thoughts were consumed by Ben. She felt that warming sensation again as her thoughts drifted to the happenings of earlier in the day. The feeling she got when his body was pressed against hers…The warmth of his tongue, his lips against hers, her neck, her chin. His hot breath…..his hands, ‘oh my gods his hands’ she thought. His chest…bare...broad. The ache she had felt then and she felt now.

***The want. The desire. The wholeness. Aus closed her eyes and began to think of him, his fighting style in the training room, his face….his sweaty, glistening body. Her curiosity got the best of her, and her hand started searching out the ache to soothe it. She stopped once she got to the band of her undershorts and hesitated, but something in her told her to go further. She slipped her hand underneath the band and further down, past the short hair there and to the spot where to 2 fuzzy folds met.

Aus took a deep breath then slid a finger between them finding that small little button of nerves hidden in between. She knew it was there, didn’t know the use nor needed too, but now, now it begs to be acknowledged. With her middle finger she slid it over the top of it, sending an instant wave of warmth and pleasure up her spine and down her legs. “mm” Aus softly moaned out. Moving her hand back and forth “KRIFF!” She imagined him ‘His body moving against her. His muscles moving under her hands. The softness of his lips, the harshness of his tongue. She longed to know what he looked like down there. The strong wave of pleasure shooting through her body again’, ”OH KRIFFING GODS” she let out.**** 

‘Why have I never done this before? It was not as intense as it was with Ben, but oh my maker it’s amazing.’  She thought, when she finished.


	11. just like a pill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Aus woke to the sound of the alarm blasting “shit” she yelled as she sat up. Her wound was healed, there was zero pain. She rushed to her armor and geared up.

She met her squad in the hanger as they boarded the ship. Given vague reasons and same directives as usual. It seemed to be a routine village pillage.

                Kylo boarded, again stopping inches from her. He stood there a few moments, then moved on. Aus has come to find this rather odd, as if hes surprised every time she is near in battle. The ship lifted off and away they went.

“Where is the map to Skywalker?” Kylo demanded of the old man before him.

The old man just looked to him, no fear, “I knew you before you called yourself Kylo Ren. You can not deny the truth, that is your family”.

“you are so right,” and with a swing of his saber, Kylo sliced the man down.

Aus closed her eyes as she had been reminded of the monster that is Kylo Ren. After Kylo cut the man down he turned and stared at Aus. She could feel him, it was clouded, but she knew he was staring at her. Aus shivered but did not budge, what was he doing? Hoping she sees who he is and is ok with it? Trying to scare her? Kylo ordered the squads to search the area for anything that could have the map he seeks. She sent her squad off in different directions. There was blaster fire and fighting. 

                Kylo deflected blast after blast, and in an instant, someone thought they could get the upper hand and shoot him in the back. Kylo swung around and stopped the bolt in mid air. Everyone froze. They had not seen this, Aus had not seen this from him before.

After several minutes of searching and rounding up remaining villagers, 2 troopers brought forth a pilot of the Resistance who had fired the shot. He was there to recieve the map. Kylo bent down to look the pilot in the eye. The pilot just began to jabber while Kylo said nothing.

“Take him to the ship” he ordered of the troopers and turned to follow suit. “Kill the villagers” He ordered Captain Phasma. She gave the order and all troopers began to fire.

                Kylo stopped and looked to the right of him, there was FN-2187 standng there, blood across his helmet, looking confused. Fear poured off of him, Aus could feel Kylos curiosity but also his intent. She rushed to FN-2187, “Hey 87, don’t worry, it’ll be ok. Just set your blaster to stun, they wont know the difference and you will end up saving lives. If not, Ren’s gonna snap your neck right now” she said with a slap on the back, looking to Kylo who was still staring. With trembling hands 87 switched his blaster to stun and started shooting. Kylo returned to the ship and Aus took a deep breath.

                Once they returned to the hanger, the troopers emptied out of the ship and into inspection. FN-2187 fell back to the ship, Aus could feel his fear and disgust rapidly rising and his anxiety crashing over her as she stood just outside. “87, you don’t belong here,” she said from behind him.

87 took off his helmet, he was trying to breath, but was finding it difficult. “Im sorry Lt. i..i” he stumbled.

“Its alright. But you misunderstand, 87. You don’t belong in the Order. You are not made for this, your heart is pure, one of the best. I know this was your first time in combat, its not easy and its never…good.”  Aus said truthfully.

FN-2187 just stood there and stared in astonishment, was she saying what he thought she was saying?

“Take the pilot Ren just had brought back and get out of here. Go, try to find a life out of here. The pilot is your only chance of escape, since I know you don’t know how to fly. But you have to be quick!” she hurried.

She was saying what he thought she was, “why are you helping me?” he asked scared and cautiously.

Aus smiled, “you are pure, some of us can handle some of this shit, I stay because I have some sway and managed convince my squad and a few others to stun and not kill, but it wont always be that way. Ive almost been caught a few times. But you, you need to go, maybe it will insight some rebellion of some kind here knowing a trooper got away…”       

He heard her and believed her. They nodded to each other and she left the shuttle behind. 87 was still inside thinking of his next step. “Who gave you permission to remove your helmet?” Phasmas voice came from the ramp. He froze, turned around and struggled to put his helmet back on. He turned to attention as Phasma ordered him to inspection. Fn-2187 ran out of there and straight to the pilot.

                The pilot was unconsience as he entered the interrogation room. 87 explained that he needed out of the Order and he wanted the pilot to help. The pilot held no worry as he took the trooper up on his offer. Moments later they were being shot at in the hanger as they stole a tie fighter. “ive always wanted to fly one of these” the pilot said grinning. They broke out of the hanger and headed to Jakku where the map to skywalker was inside a tiny little driod named BB8.

                “You have a name?” the pilot asked the trooper. “FN-2187” the trooper replied. “fn…Im gonna call you Finn” the pilot smiled out as they maneuvered through the field of tie fighter that followed them. “Finn, I like that” Finn responded. “Finn, Im Poe,” the pilot said. They crash landed on desert planet of Jakku.

 

 

                Aus reached her room, peeling the plastiod armor off her miserable body. She hoped 87 got out okay. She had heard that the tie fighter was shot down, but they were still in pursuit towards the near by outpost.

She let the water from the fresher run over her body, not thinking of the monster that she witnessed. She’d seen Kylo kill before, numerous times, but this time it was different. He was the monster people say he is. He held no regret behind that mask, no remorse. How could she care for someone like that? Why does she care for someone like that?

                ---“Why you are here?” She asked the man that shared kylos face.

He just smiled at her confused, “because you’re here and this place is peaceful” he answered.

Her face stayed mournful, she felt nothing but sadness in this dream. She turned from him and walked towards small lake nearby, she wanted to get lost in the waterfall.

“Are you upset with me? Did I do something wrong?” he begged of her as he followed. “tell me what it is and ill try to fix it, its horrible to see you so sad” he pleaded. Aus looked to his face, this time a tear crawled down her cheek.

The man sat next to her, trying to reach for her, but she recoiled. “You did nothing, but you share the beautiful face of someone who did…a monster, the murderer of the galaxy and it hurts so much to see it, because I care for him, isn’t that odd?” She searched his face but wasn’t sure why, she was dreaming and knew this wasn’t really Ben, but she felt so compelled to make him understand anyway. And hoped that he did.

“A monster? If he’s a monster, how do you care for him? Monsters and murderers deserve no love,” he replied. His curiosity was that of Ben too. It was written all over his face and bleeding from his body. The sun disappeared and it became night instantly. The man shivered, but Aus paid it no attention.

Staring at the water, “he showed me a side of him that wasn’t so angry and vengeful and full of hatred. I have looked the monster in the eyes and found a boy that desperately wants something else and doesn’t want to be alone. Ive made the monster smile and laugh. The monster has always been kind to me as well. I even know his true name, Ben. I don’t get it. I knew all along who and what he was, but how can he be so different?” she ended.

“My name is Ben” he said. Looking to her. Aus tilted her head from her knees to look at him, she smiled sadly “I know. You share the same face, but you are not the monster and you’re not really here, you are my subconscious showing me something I want and will never really get to have. But I enjoy your company all the same.”

Ben looked at her, knowing she was right, at least in her mind. He watched her, the moonlight glimmering off the water and onto her face. She was heartbroken. And he was the reason, and for some reason, he felt terrible for it. “I…” he started to say, but the dream was over and she was gone. ---

But now he knew, he was the visitor in her dreams. He had visited her many times and this was the first time he knew for sure, they were sharing dreams. For several years now it was always been her. How could he not have known? And she doesn’t have the slightest clue. Should he tell her? No, this was his only chance to talk to her as he wanted to, be with her as he wanted to. He could be someone else there. And he felt like she even cared for him there. He would stay silent for now.

Aus woke, sadness still washed over her, but she felt better today. She laid there, trying to find the motivation to get out of bed. ‘why are you here?’ she thought right before there was a beep at her door. The door slid open and Kylo entered. She jumped from her bed and stood at attention in her breast band and underthings. “Yes, commander?” she said.

Kylo stood in her doorway, not saying a word. She held her walls up, she didn’t want to let him in. He removed his helmet and held it. Looking down at it, he looked to be trying to find the right words. Kylo stood tall once again, looking her in the eyes. Aus tried to hide whatever it was she was feeling, but it didn’t stop him from searching. She could feel him tapping at her walls, begging to be let in, even just a little. Uncertainty washing over his bare face now. ‘Why do you have to have that face’ she drowned inside her head.

Kylo took two long strides and wrapped one hand around the back of her head and planted his lips on hers. Helmet still in the other hand. Aus was taken by surprise, but it wasn’t the same this time. It felt so forced, like he was trying to reassure himself that she wanted him. His force still begging to be let in at her walls. Aus felt the pleading in his kiss now and it tore her apart. She wanted him, she cared for him, but it was all different now, she didn’t want the monster. She didn’t care if he killed in an actual battle, but it ripped her apart that he cut that old man down like that.

Kylo wanted to pull away when she finally dropped her walls slightly, but the damn had broken and sadness that she was in flooded him. She held him there, making him feel what she was feeling, forcing him. He tried to break away, who did she think she was???  he knew physically he could if he really wanted to, but he deserved this, and maybe if would help his cause. He would give her this for now.

Kylo told himself he didn’t understand her reaction, that she was a killer too, he’d seen her kill before, and she is so beautiful in her movements as she does it. He also knew she had been stunning people for a few years now, but he paid it no mind, it served nothing that he was after.

He wanted her. He desired her. He wanted to ally his power with hers, she was strong and will fully awaken soon enough. They would be unstoppable in the galaxy. He tried to quash the light from himself, and she was riddled with it, and he wanted it so badly. In the training room that day they were on the floor, she leant him hers awhile and he relished in it. Aus basked in his dark while he bathed in her light. They could have that for all eternity, why couldn’t they have that? he thought.

When Aus pulled away, they stared into the others brown eyes, both thinking their own thoughts. Kylo secretly wished they were in her dream, away from all this. He worked for power, to rule, he had great ambition, but a small part of him yearned for secret moments like that, or even a permanent life like in her dreams. But he could never have that, and he knew it. So he would continue his mission, the one he became the monster for.

Aus wished they somewhere else, anywhere else and she wished she felt him care for her as she did him. But she never felt that, not that she could sense anyway. His actions say otherwise, but she was uncertain, for the first time in her life. Aus hesitated, not wanting him to leave even though she felt the sadness in herself. As he turned to go, she lunged at him and took him into a kiss again.

Their mouths moving together, their tongues fitting. Kylo dropped his Helmet and lifted her onto the desk behind her, sitting her upon it. She opened her legs and he slid in between, holding himself against her. They so enjoyed being this close to the other. He drank in her touch, her power as she drank in his. This intimacy neither knew outside of this, and they relished in it. Kylo began to slowly thrusting against her, holding her so tightly to his own body. Aus bucked her hips into him as he thrusted. His hands on her face now, hers on his, forcibly holding the other, never wanting to let go.

How did it go from remorse and sadness to this? This pawing and needing to be touched by the other? They weren’t at it long when the alarm sounded. They broke away, Aus sitting on the desk still, Kylo standing inches from her. He bent and snatched his helmet, placing on his head and leaving the room. Aus rushed to her gear and down to the hanger.


	12. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

The Order received a tip on the where abouts of the droid they were looking for, Takadona. When the shuttles landed, the troopers emptied out and started blasting away. Aus ran into the old building with a few other troopers searching for the BB unit. When inside, she removed her helmet hearing her name called. It was like before, on the Finalzer when she heard it and turned to see Kylo, only this time, it was something else.

Somewhere from down a spiral stone staircase, something was calling to her, it was almost hypnotizing. She followed the call down the stairway and through a long stone corridor. She stopped in a doorway at the end of the corridor, hearing her name being hummed louder as she entered with caution.

The room was full of random things, there was no one in there, but she still heard it calling. She followed it to a box on a table. She opened it, removed the wrap and exposed a hidden, silver hilted lightsaber.

This saber was different from Kylos, but she knew it was a lightsaber. When she grabbed the saber, a hurricane of visions crashed into her, knocking her off her feet. So many images flooded through, it was almost impossible to make sense of it all.

Fire, screaming, the knights of Ren, an R2 unit, voices “you were the chosen one!” and so many more images as her name was still being called. And Ren, chasing her down behind the mask of a monster surrounded by trees and snow.

She dropped the saber immediately and fell backwards out of the room. When she turned her turned she found a little orange woman standing a few feet from her. Fear written across Aus’s face as she stared at her. “What was that, I shouldn’t have gone in there..” Aus panted out. The little orange woman came close to her, but Aus felt no intent to harm from her. “I am Maz,” the orange woman said, “That was luke Skywalkers Light saber and his fathers before him and now it calls to you!” Maz removed her spectacles as she spoke, revealing larger, knowing eyes.

“I have to get back upstairs, to my troopers, to the Order” Aus words rushed as she tried getting to her feet. Maz took her hands in her own, looking into her eyes, “dear child, I see your eyes. You already know the truth. The reasons you tell yourself you stay, they will never be true. You fight for what’s right but you fight for the wrong.” Maz eyes soft and open. “Whatever it is you are waiting for will not come, but there is somewhere you can go. There is someone who can still be brought back with you.” “Skywalker?” Aus said looking down to the saber in front of her.

“The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes, feel it. The light. Its always been there. It will guide you. The sabre – take it” Maz finished.

Aus looked to the sabre again, then back to Maz. She stood fast and stumbled as she tried walking away, “Im never touching that thing again, I don’t want any part of ‘That’. I am not what you think, I never can be…now, you need to get out of here, Maz!” she yelled to the little woman as she started for the stairs again.

Aus reached the outside of the building before its entirety collapsed. She rejoined the fight that was going on between the order and the rebels, watching as they fought each other. She scanned the rubble looking to her troops as the Resistance X-Wings flew over head, shooting. They were being lead by the black X-wing, ‘Murderer’ she seethed out as she remembered to her dead Lt.

Before she could act on her rage, Aus saw one of her newly enlisted shooting at running, unarmed civilians. “What are you doing?” Aus yelled at the trooper when she reached her. “My job, these traitors are all ordered to die, Lt.!” the new squad member said back. “My rule is no live fire. These people were not Resistance, they’re by standers! Switch to stun! That’s an order!” Aus yelled to her again. The trooper ignored her order and continued shooting, knocking down fleeing cantina patrons.

Aus had never fired on a fellow trooper before, but this one wasn’t going to stop, she was to knew and in love with the idea of the Order. “You’re a traitor!” the trooper yelled at her as she turned her weapon to fire on Aus, but Aus had already pulled her blaster on the trooper. Before either could fire, a explosion went off a few feet from them, throwing Aus several feet away and killing the other trooper immediately.

Laying on her stomach Aus rolled, trying to find the strength to get up, but her body felt like rubber. She could hardly see but was able to make out the command shuttle, she saw Kylo, “Ben…” she tried to yell, but only a slight whisper escaped her lips. She screamed inside, hoping he would hear her. Aus lay there, watching as 2 troopers brought an unconscious girl to the ramp of the ship, Kylo following suit. The troopers boarded the ship with the girl and disappeared. “Ben…” she whispered out again.

Kylo stopped at the base of the ramp and turned only slightly, moving his head far enough back to see her, she knew he saw her, she could feel it. Kylo stood there looking for a few seconds, then was disturbed by another presence in which he snapped his attention to and immediately returned himself back to his ship, closing the ramp and leaving the grounds.

He left her…He left her there to die, because his quest for Skywalker was more important. “87?” she faintly whispered as she lost consciousness, thinking she saw her old friend as she slipped into what she thought was the abyss.


	13. Choices pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“Over here!” Finn yelled out to Han and Chewie. “05, hang on. Ill get you outta here” Finn said, kneeling down to his dying friend. Han and Chewie met up with him at the troopers side, “it’s a stormtrooper, let her die. That’s what they’re meant to do, kid” Han said, causally waving his hand. “No, she’s my friend, she’s the only reason I’m alive. I wont argue with you, Solo. Help me get her to the Resistance, please? Take her with us, I know you have no right to trust me or take my word for anything, but if anything, she can help get Rey back and bring down the Order, I know she can. Shes also Rens training Trooper…” Finn quickly spoke. Hans face went in to that of surprise, “ok, Chewie, grab her. I guess we are taking her with us”.

“So…hairy…drowning in…wookie?” Aus sporadically spit out hair as she fought to breathe against the wookie she woke to find was carrying her. Chewie wouldn’t let go, only held on tighter trying to get her to stop moving. “Careful. He doesn’t much like troopers and may accidently squeeze to tightly” Han said from aside them. Aus stopped moving immediately, trying to still maintain her conscious state. Her body ached so much and she felt sick. Aus wasn’t sure what was going on, but knew it was something to do with the Resistance.

A few minutes later, they stopped. Aus heard Han and Finn speaking to someone, but she couldn’t hear over the furry arms that were wrapped around her. “Let me down, Wookie” Aus said, starting up her shruggle again. This time Chewie dropped her to the ground and stood there. Aus staggered to her feet, woozy and wobbly, looking around. She turned to where the voices were and saw her. “Gen…eral Organa” Aus anxiously spoke as she quickly knelt before Leia. She couldn’t see Leia’s face, but felt her confusion just before passing out. “Get her on the ship,” Leia said.


	14. Wild hearts can't be broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Aus woke to dim lighting and grey concrete walls. Where was she? This was not a First Order medbay. She weakly sat herself up, trying to look around the room for answers. “Hello, how are you feeling?” a gold droid said as he approached. Aus looked the droid up and down before answering, “I, feel like shit. Where am I? Who are you?” She responded. “I am C-3P0, you are currently in a Resistance base being treated for your injuries. Do you require anything?” the droid asked. “I thought you were a C unit. Ive only ever seen them on junkard planets and in history files, you’re in such amazing shape for your age, 3P0. And no, I don’t think I need anything, however, I would like to get out of here before the Resistance remembers they have me, can you help me with that?” she asked in jest.

“Oh thank you, miss. I have seen so much. You see this red arm? I just got it, it was a funny tale,” He started but was interrupted by the door to the medbay sliding open. “ah, General, the stormtrooper is awake and..” C-3P0 started again, but cut off by Leias hand raising, “I see she is awake, 3P0, you were supposed to alert us when she did. Leave us,” The general said.

“Nice to meet you 3P0, tell me that story another time,” Aus said smiling to the droid, knowing the probability of never hearing or seeing him again. The droid left the room, leaving the General, Aus and 2 resistance members. Aus looked to them, trying to feel them out, but stopped on Leia, what was that? It was familiar, why was she familiar?

Aus stood, trying to keep her composure and balance. She walked towards Leia and the 2 resistance members, stopping a few feet from them. “General, it is an honor to meet you, regardless of the circumstances. I may be of the Order, Ma’am, but I respect and admire the hell out of you.” Leia stood watching the stormtrooper as the 2 others stood in confusion.

“You are Kylo Rens personal training Trooper?” Leia asked. Aus was taken back by the question, not expecting her to know, “Yes, General.” She replied. Aus had decided to give them whatever they asked for, she didn’t care…the Order didn’t care about her…He didn’t care about her, so why should she care? One of the members stepped forward, “you are Rens personal training trooper, you train with that monster, regularly? How do you live with yourself knowing you help one of the Galaxies most hated and murderous persons? You should be disgusted with yourself! Tell us where to find Ren…the Order!!” He spat out in her face.

Aus stared at him, she recognized him now, the pilot that Ren brought aboard. Now wanting to stomp his face into the ground, she tried to keep her anger for her friends death under control. What did he know? It was her job, it was her life. “Pilot that escaped, you are the Resistance pilot that flies the Black X-wing? You are just as much of a murderer as Kylo” She steadily responded.

“Commander, that’s enough,” Leia interjected. The trooper and the pilot now sneering at the other, the pilot leaning in her direction as if to strike. “I’m the mighty Kylo Rens sparring partner, you sure you wanna to go to toe with me?” she lashed. Aus looked to Leia and backed down, but the pilot continued his leaning and sneering. “Poe, report to command, now” Leia ordered the pilot. Poes concentration was cut and he blinked looking to Leia. He tried to argue with her but she won and Poe left with the other resistance member.

“General, I will...” but Leia and Aus were interrupted by a knock on the door. Finn entered the room looking to both ladies, hoping things were going well. “87! You made it! I heard the fighter was blasted down and there was no evidence of survivors, oh my gods, im so happy to see you made it,” Aus let out with a smile, running to him, grabbing his shoulders to look him up and down. Finn smiled back, grabbing her shoulders, “Finn, my name is Finn now, and thank you. Thank you for getting me out of there. 05, I…” Aus stopped him, “Finn, My name is Aus. I am so happy to see you, you look…worried…”

Finn nodded, “Aus, we need your help. The Order took my friend, I’m sure they took her to Star Killer, can you help us get her back and take down the base?” Aus’ face went still, her smile fading fast, “You want to take down Star Killer Base? And save your, friend? The girl with brown hair and tanned clothing?” Finn smiled again wide, “Yes, that’s her, you saw her? Will you help us?”

Aus looked to Leia who was watching this awkward reunion. She looked to Finns face once again and nodded. Finn embraced her in a hug and then released her from it. She was surprised by this sign of affection from someone who had been in the Order as long as she had. “Ok, Finn. Leave us now” Leia commanded. Finn left the room, smiling.

“Why are you willing to help us, Aus?” Leia inquired. Aus turned her head to meet Leias gaze. “He left me to die. I want to bring them down. Make them suffer and make him hurt” Aus responded, anger and sorrow lacing her words. Leia could feel the hurt and sense of betrayal rolling off the girl before her, “Make him hurt? Who?” Leia replied. Aus eyes shifted, she didn’t say him..did she? “Them, they left me to die. The Order.” She answered. “I don’t care what you do with me afterwards”.

“Finn told me about you, the storm trooper who saved his life as well as so many others, not just those in the Order. He said you are one of the Orders best fighters and Kylo Rens personal training partner” Leia paused, waiting for her reaction, then continued “We have heard of a Storm Trooper that fights without a helmet and stuns enemies of the Order. A storm trooper that hides mothers and their children in fallen ovens so they are not found by other troopers. We don’t not have much time, Aus. WE need to leave quickly and do this, I need to know that I can trust you, that you are who Finn and the rumors say you are”.

Aus wasn’t the hero this woman was trying to make her out to be, she didn’t know if she could save the girl, but knew enough of the base that she could get them in to blast the fucker. “General, I will help you until you don’t need me anymore” Aus replied. Off the two women went to command to set up a plan.

The command room was chaos; everyone throwing their opinions out, not listening to the other. Leia stopped them from speaking and threw Aus to the center. “This is Aus, she is going to help us bring down Star Killer Base. Listen to her.” Leia finished. All eyes were on Aus. She brought up layouts of the Order Star Killer Base and compared it to the death star. There was gasping throughout the room, no one had put much thought into just how much greater Star Killer was to the Death Star. It seemed impossible.

The Pilot just kept interrupting with “lets bomb it, blow it up, through everything we have at it” but Aus and Finn stopped him, it wouldn’t work. “I can get you in, shut down the shield around it, attack here while we set explosives there. It will take down the entire planet!” Aus said, showing them their places. Finn backed her up on the plan, Aus knew all he wanted was his friend, but that was ok, “Lets cripple these fuckers.” And with that, they plan was set.

Han Solo, Finn, Chewbacca and Aus were on their way to Star Killer. It had only been a few hours since they found her on Takadona, Aus thought they may have had time still to save Finns friend from a fate that Ren would permanently give her, but she also doubted there was time left.

Once they landed on the snowy planet, the four of them made their way towards the outbuilding that housed the core. “We need to find Phasma, now. She has the codes we need, Finn, Wookie, grab her, she’s coming around the corner” Aus shouted looking at the monitor in the control room. It was easy taking out the guards in there, no one ever checks on them anyway. Chewie and Finn grabbed Phasma from the hall and forced her inside. They demanded the codes, threatening her but she wouldn’t budge, until Chewie grabbed her helmet and started squeezing.

“You cannot break through this, it is made from Emperor Palpatine’s person yacht, it is indestructible…” Phasma warned out. *crack* Phasma freaked out when her helmet started to buckle under the pressure of the wookies grip. She walked to the controls and put in her codes, dropping the shields. “what do we do with her now?” Finn asked. “You got a trash compactor?” Han asked. Fear rolled off Phasma, but Aus didn’t care.

As they ran towards the exit, they ran straight into Rey. She had squeezed from her binders and knocked the guard out while escaping. Ren had not thoroughly gone through her mind, but there was no time to worry about that now. The 5 of them ran into the core room, setting up charges ready to detonate at any time. Aus was outside trying to wire the inner doors shut so they wouldn’t be disturbed, while Rey and Finn went for more explosives. When they returned, Aus, Rey and Finn climbed the ladder to get back into the core room.

“Ben!” Yelled Han as he walked onto the bridge over the wide opening to the planets core. Aus, Finn and Rey stood there in awe, unsure of what to do. What was he doing? Was he crazy? Kylo walked on to the bridge and met Han in the middle. They spoke to one another, but no one could hear their words. Kylo handed Han his light sabre and ignited it into Hans chest. “NOOOO!!!!” they all yelled. Han touched Kylos face before he fell into oblivion.

Rens face shot up to the 3 of them standing above him, shock and so many other emotions rolling off him. Then, BAM. He was hit by Chewie’s BowBlaster. They retreated, heading back to the Falcon that was crash landed out in the snow bank somewhere. The 3 of them ran into the snowy forest, hoping it was the right direction.

A startling crackle and hiss of a sabre being ignited flooded over the forest “TRAITOR!!!!!! We’re not done yet!” Kylo growled as he came out from behind the trees. He was holding his side and hitting it, blood staining the white snow beneath him. Aus stood in front of Rey and Finn, staring him down. Rey moved, instinctively to attack but Kylo flung her back against a tree with the force, knocking her out instantly. Finn ran out from behind Aus, waving the blue sabre around that Maz had offered her, ‘how the hell?’ she thought. Aus ran to Rey, checking to see if she was still breathing, she was so Aus left her and returned to Finn and Kylo.

Finn tried, he was holding his own until Kylo sliced him up the back, knocking him out too. Kylo turned to retrieve the silver sabre that had dropped into the snow several feet away. Reaching out his hand, Kylo called to it through the force. The sabre flew towards him, but was going to fast, he leaned back and it kept going. The sabre landed in Aus hands, she looked to it amazed and shocked, looked back to Ren and ignited it. “That lightsaber belongs to me!” He yelled. “Come and get it!” Aus yelled back. And they began their battle.

The earth below them shook hard as they fought. Swinging at the other, dodging, searing each others flesh. It felt like a training session, but Aus knew there would be no yielding this time. She wanted him to hurt, she wanted him dead. He left her to die. Then he killed Han who she didn’t know long, but she felt who he was and he was a good man. Aus wanted Kylo to pay.

They were in a dead lock, Kylo had the upper hand, his strength. He was pressing his sabre on to her borrowed one, “you are strong in the force, let me teach you!” he yelled as they continued their deadlock. He kept saying it, over and over, “the force? The force…” Aus said and she closed her eyes. She concentrated and felt it, swarming around her, through her, and it was fully awake now. Aus found the power and pushed against him, she swung again and knocked him back. Kylo stumbled, but regained his balance, swinging back, but Aus swung again, this time slicing him from chest to forehead.

He fell down and back, shock, fear, and strange feeling of finality. Kylo wanted her to finish him, but he would never say it. Aus looked down at his torn body, raised her sabre to strike the final blow, but couldn’t do it. She stared at him, knowing he would end her, but she couldn’t do it. In that moment, the ground broke apart beneath them and both her and Kylo were on opposite sides. Aus extinguished her sabre and ran to Finn and Rey, who were just found by Chewie.


	15. Wild hearts can't be broken pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

There was a party going on when they reached the rebel base, but there was only sadness crawling off the Falcon. The death of Han Solo was soon heard and nothing but mourning swept the camp. Finn was in a bacta chamber and Rey was being treated for minor injuries, though hers will probably run deeper later, thanks to Kylo. It was a good day for anyone who wasn’t the Order, but a terrible day full of death of good people, both in the resistance and in the Order, though Aus knew no one here would care that several storm troopers were killed by this act, she wept silently and alone in the bathroom.

When BB-8 rolled off the Falcon, he ran off to R2-D2. Both Droids rolled into the command center and displayed a map, the map to Luke Skywalker. “We need to get there now!” Leia shouted. So many hands and voices went into volunteering for the mission, but it was only the voice of Aus that Leia heard. “I will go, General. I will bring Luke Skywalker back and we will end this stupid, meaningless war.” And that was it.

Aus and Chewie left an hour later with nothing but supplies and hope.


	16. Ach-to to Crait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are parallels from the last jedi story and this one, a little different though. this chapter is all of "Last jedi" feel. after this will be completely original story
> 
> I dont own anything star wars rights wise.

“The Resistance sent me, your sister Leia needs your help,” Aus said to the aged man before her. Luke looked at her then rolled his eyes and walked away, down the mountain. Aus retrieved the lightsaber that Luke tossed behind him and returned it to her bag. She ran after him, trying her best to have him hear her, but he just continued to tell her no and walked on.

When they reached his hut, Luke closed his makeshift door and locked it. Aus knocked and only received a “go away!” through the door from Luke. A few minutes later the door exploded and flew across the room. “Chewie, what are you doing here?” Luke yelled almost pleased “wait, wheres Han?” he followed worriedly. The wookie purred and lowered his head in sadness as did Aus.

Luke followed both Aus and Chewie outside of the hut and sat around a fire pit in the center of the tiny stone village huts. Luke listened as Aus told him of Hans fate at the hand of Kylo Ren, how the Galaxy has only gotten worse in its great peril, and that the Resistance is in desperate need of Luke Skywalker, Master Jedi! Legend. “There is no light left in Kylo Ren, he is only growing stronger and within weeks the Order with rule the Galaxy”

Luke only hung his head and shook it in disbelief and guilt. When Aus and chewie finished their words Luke got up and went back to his hut, grabbed his dislodged door “I cant help you, im not going back” and reclosed his now fixed door. Aus and Chewie looked to each then back to do the door, they couldn’t believe that the Legendary Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker would just abandon his duties, his family…

Aus followed Luke around all day, hoping to annoy him enough into talking to her, maybe teaching her something? It poured rain the first day. Luke milked a sea creature and caught a fish. No words to her. The second day she met him at his door and began to follow him, but was being called by something. Her name over and over again.

Aus followed the call to an old tree. The calling came in from within the tree, so she continued inside. Inside the tree Aus found a handful of old leather bound books, she knew this place, saw it in a vision. “Who are you?” Luke asked. Aus started her spiel about the Resistance, but Luke stopped her “Why are you here?” he asked. she started again. But Luke finally got her to answer the question he wanted to know, “I was in the order. Now I am trying to help the Resistance. There is something inside me that’s always been there, its fully awake now, and im afraid” She finished.

“You need a teacher. I cant help you with that. I came here to die, the Jedi need to end” Luke said as he walked away. Aus watched him as he fell out of sight, unsure of what to do at this point.

Chewie went back to the Falcon for the night, chasing out bird creatures that quickly invaded the ship. Aus laid on a stone ledge right outside Lukes hut, hoping to continue her following in the morning. Startled out of sleep Aus’ eyes snapped up to the image above her, “In the morning, 3 lessons. I will teach you the ways of the Jedi, and why they need to end.” Luke finished and entered his hut, closing the door.

Aus went to one of the empty huts and tried to make herself at home, after Luke had awoken her. The stone slab that she assumed was the bed in there was as comfortable as the cots in the Order, it would have to do. Aus lay down in hopes that tomorrow would be a better day with Luke.

When she woke Aus felt a strange sensation in the air, both familiar and odd. She slowly sat up, yawning and stretching her stiff limbs, looking at the light that was peeking in through the doorway. The thrumming she felt surround her suddenly became focused. There before her was Kylo Ren, sitting in her hut, looking at her in confusion. Aus didn’t hesitate, she grabbed the blaster sitting on the floor next and shot at him.

Ren flinched, looking to his abdomen to see there was no pain or wound. When he looked back up, she was gone from his sights. Kylo stood quickly, searching the MedBay for her, the traitor he thought dead, and ran into the ships corridor, sliding to a stop. Turning his head every which way, looking, he could still feel her.

He was gone, all that remained in his place was a large hole in the side of the hut where her blaster bolt had hit. Aus jumped to her feet, running outside to look for the monster that had just been in her hut. She ran towards Lukes hut when she felt him again, now turning to the source of the power.

“You will bring Luke Skywalker to me,” Kylo commanded as he raised an outstretched hand to her. Aus knew what he was trying to do, but it failed. Ren recoiled his hand immediately as soon as he had finished his attempt to mind trick her knowing the effort was pointless. “You’re not doing this, the effort would kill you. No, somehow this is something else...” Kylo spoke, curiosity leaking through their new open bond. “You’ll pay for what you did!” Aus yelled at him, not sure exactly sure for what offense, perhaps them all? Kylo ignored her outburst, the curiosity of what was going on between them much more interesting. He looked around then back to her, “Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see yours…Just you”. Such curiosity.

Aus stared at him, loathing his existence, how can he be calm and unaffected by her threats? His face was so…innocent…he felt relief of some kind as he said that to her ‘just you’, that scared Aus. “Whats up with that?” Luke said as he came out of his hut pointing to the direction of Kylo. Aus snapped her head up to meet Lukes face in fear, “Luke?” Kylo spoke. Aus returned her head back to Kylo to find that he was no longer there, she could feel he was gone.

“I tripped over my blaster and it went off” Aus responded to Luke. Luke walked off toward the mountain again. Aus followed suit, determined to get him to help her. She thought about telling Luke about the force connection she had just had with Kylo, but was scared that he would only turn her away permanently or worse…’hopefully it wont happen again’ she thought.

She followed Luke up the mountain and into a hollowed out cavern. There was a pond in the center of the room, a symbol Aus didn’t know engraved into it, surrounded by light and dark, split down the center. Luke took Aus to a cliff with a flattened boulder on the end of it. She sat there and waited for direction. Aus asked what the force was exactly, Luke gave her a description, but she didn’t understand. Luke instructed her to reach out and feel. She did so, feeling the life and death and everything in between.

She felt everything and then she felt the dark. A dark place on the island. Luke whispered to her about power light and power dark, she was so focused on it, “its calling to me, it wants to show me something”. Luke yelled to her to resist, but she didn’t. “I felt everything, but I didn’t feel you,” she said breathing heavily, gathering her barring’s. Luke was shrouded in fear, backing away, “I saw this raw power before in Ben Solo. It didn’t scare me enough then, but it does now.” He ran off.

Aus made it back to the Falcon, checking in on chewie and asking about the Resistance. Chewie hadn’t been able to make contact so she decided to take a break from Luke, from everything and go outside to think. It was raining, and it was beautiful. Aus had seen the rain before, but never was allowed to enjoy it. She stood under the edge of the Falcon, reaching her hand out and letting the water cover it. The mixture of the rain and the waves crashing against the rocks left Aus feeling a sense of serenity. She hummed as she closed her eyes, just enjoying the sounds and the smells.

“Why is the force connecting us, you and I?” Kylo said, staring at Aus again stepping towards her. Kylos curiosity was so strong, He was there, in front of her again. “Murderous snake! Its too late, I found Skywalker” She hissed at him, proudly. Kylos eyes fell from her face for a moment, then back to her “did he tell you want happened, that night I destroyed his temple? Did he tell you why?” Kylo asked calmly.

Aus tried to fight his words, “I know everything I need to know about you, I know you more than most”. He looked to her, searching her face, “you do? Ah, you do…you have that same look in your eyes, the same look from the forest, when you called me a monster”. Aus spit “you ARE a monster” sure in her words, after all, she really did know.

Kylo continued stepping towards her, only stopping feet away, looking into her eyes, sure not to break the contact, “Yes I am”, his words held no malice or deceit, only misery. Aus could feel the misery, she never felt this from him before, the bond they now shared seemed so strong, unable to hide their feelings from the other. His words and feelings caught her off guard and now she could feel something in him, something she didn’t notice before; conflict.

He was gone again and Aus was left standing there alone. Kylo took his hand to his face and wiped the water from it, looking to his wet glove then clenching his hand. Why WAS the force connecting them? He pondered, she pondered, neither could come up with the answer.

Aus needed to blow of some steam so she found a flat place and started training with the lightsaber. Luke watched her for a moment then turned to go the cavern again. Aus followed Luke to find him sitting next to the small pool. It was time for lesson two, why the Jedi needed to die. He explained that they were proud and that is what destroyed them. He spoke of that night, when Kylo destroyed the temple and slaughtered the other students. “You didn’t fail Kylo, Kylo failed you! I wont fail you!” Aus said as she stormed off.

Why wont Luke just teach her? She is nothing like Kylo Ren, she wasn’t afraid of her darkness or her light. She just wants to know where her place in all this was. As she walked back to the hut, she tried to get herself to think of anything but Luke or her connection with Kylo right now. She started thinking of Finn, how he was doing and she hoped that her friend had made it through his injuries. She hoped the Resistance was ok.

It was night now and she was almost to the hut, “Id rather not do this now” she huffed, drained of life at the moment. Kylos voice came from behind her, “Yeah, me too” more annoyed than anything else. Aus turned to him, “why did you…?” stopping immediately and looking away. He was shirtless and thinks he may have just gotten done training, or ready for bed? She’d seen him before like this, but it was different and she wanted to focus her anger and emotions. “Do you have a cowl or something you can put on?” She asked, still looking away.

Kylo ignored her question and stood there. She gave up and continued her questioning. “Why did you …” she stopped, changing her direction of questioning, “why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer” She said instead. Kylo began walking towards her again and Aus began to tear up in her frustration with this man. “That’s not what you want to know, I can feel it” He said curiously, but she ignored him “You had a father who loved you, gave a damn about you!” Aus yelled. Kylo stopped and dropped his curiosity, several feet away from her again, “I didn’t hate him”. “Then why…” She couldn’t finish. Kylo tried forcing her, leading her to speak her pain, what she wants to know most, “than why what? Why what? Say it”. “Then why did you kill him? I don’t understand” she cried out.

Kylo looked at her passively, “no? Your parents through you away like garbage,”. “They didn’t” she hissed back at him. “they did. And you cant stop needing them. Its your greatest weakness. Looking for them everywhere, first in Han Solo, now in Skywalker. Did he tell you want happened that night?” Kylo finished. “Yes” Aus barked back. “No” Kylo replied calmly, but with a knowing smile. Kylo told her what happened that night, Aus tried to tell herself he was lying, but she knew he was being honest with her. “Liar” she stumbled out. Kylo took another step closer, this time stopping only an arms length away, “let the past die, kill it if you have to. It’s the only way you will become what you are meant to be.”

“Now, tell me, what is it you really want to know,” Kylo said, now looking curious again. Aus looked away from him, hating that he said it, hoping he wouldn’t bring it up again. “Say it,” He said, taking one step closer. Now Kylo was mere inches away, causing Aus to look up to him now. She tried desperately to hold back the emotions in her face, which she did, but the tears fell against her will anyway “Why did you leave me behind?”

It never occurred to Kylo that this would come up. He thought about it a few times since it happened, only less than a week ago. He looked down into her tearfilled eyes and for a moment, he felt remorse. “You already know,” he said matter of factly. Aus knew, but she didn’t want to admit that no one actually cared for her, she was nothing. “Your mission for Skywalker, I know” she said as her eyes vacantly lowered and stopped mid chest “I just, after we…it doesn’t matter.” She just felt a void in her soul. He continued looking down at her, he felt strangely compelled to comfort her, but restrained himself. There was no time for weakness. “It was a mistake” he said. They locked eyes for a moment right before the connection broke.

His words haunted her. She felt so lost. Aus went to the dark place on the island, hoping it would show her what Luke wouldn’t. She went there and found nothing. She begged the mirror in the dark place to show her what she wanted most, “Show me where I belong, please?”…But the mirror in the dark place only showed herself.

Aus climbed out of the cavern and went back to her hut. She was soaking wet from falling into the dark place, but she didn’t care. She needed someone to talk too so badly and she only thought of him. She walked into her hut and started a fire in the small pit in the center, trying to warm and dry herself. Aus sat on the stone bench and just stared at the dancing flames before her.

It felt like a live wire all of a sudden, hot and active. She closed her eyes and hoped that he would be there. Aus opened her eyes to find him sitting a few feet away, next to her on the stone slab. She didn’t look to him, but she could feel him and see him from the side. She told him about the dark place, what she saw. That she didn’t find the answers she thought she would find. “I’ve never felt so alone” Aus vacantly let out, staring into the flames. “You’re not alone” Kylo said from beside her.

She looked to him, knowing he had already been staring at her, “neither are you” Aus replied. “Its not too late” she softly whispered. And slowly, Aus reached out her hand towards him, unsure of what to expect, but the rage and anger she felt was gone and now all she wanted was to touch him. Kylo looked to her hand and back to her eyes, removing his glove. He reached for her hand, curious to see if they could touch. He wanted to touch her.

When their hands connected neither could believe they were able to touch. Kylo and Aus were met with a vision, each their own. A tear fell from her eyes at the over whelming sight and power of what she felt and saw. Ren was emotionally moved as well, but hid it. Aus looked into his beautiful, big brown eyes then to his lips, she had no power over herself now. Kylo saw it in her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes, something calling her to him, and he welcomed it. Kylo looked to her lips and back to her eyes and in that moment lost all his will power.

They leaned in towards one another, slowly, reassuring themselves. They met in the middle, never letting go of the others hand. When their lips pressed against the other, it was as if a volcano erupted within them. Aus brought her free hand to Bens face, holding his scarred cheek. Kylo moaned into her mouth at the additional touch from her. He quickly brought his free hand to meet her face, gloved but he could still feel her. She melted at his additional touch.

Tongues moving quickly in and out of the others parted lips. Aus slid her hand into Ben’s dark hair, it was so soft. Kylo moaned loudly into her mouth and quickly grasped the back of her head pressing her into him harder, deepening their kiss. They felt so much, they didn’t feel alone. It felt so right and they had no intent of stopping.

“NO!” Luke yelled from the doorway. They both turned their heads quickly to look at him, Aus pulled away, Kylo was still in the same position, hand reached out, leaning in towards her. The stones of the hut went flying away from them. Aus looked back to Ben and he was gone. Ben looked to her and he was alone once again, hand reached out grasping nothing. The tingling on his lips and his cheek from her touch remained hot and the memory fresh, ‘She will come to me’ he thought.

Aus confronted Luke. They fought, but Luke finally told her what she wanted to know, what he was ashamed to tell her before. He had intended on killing Ben. He was not going to come back and help the Resistance, though he had intended on that before finding her with Kylo. “Aus this isn’t going to go the way you think” Luke pleaded. She presented him with the sabre again and he refused it. “Then he is our only hope” Aus said. She returned to the Falcon and both her and Chewie left the planet.

Aus didn’t want to believe Luke when he said that, but he couldn’t have been more right. When Aus went to Ben, she was met with binders and a trip to Snoke. Kylo felt different this time over all the times she’d had been with him. When he had killed Snoke after torturing Aus for information on Lukes whereabouts, she stood, clenching her sabre, looking into the eyes of someone who had made up their mind. She felt nothing but peace as he walked towards her, she believed as he did…that the other had turned. And in that moment, they opened themselves to the other as they fought side by side against the Patreaon guards; as one.

They moved as one, knowing the others movements, the others thoughts and feelings. 1 by 1 the gaurds fell. They worried for the other and fought for the other in this fight. Kylo knew Aus could do it, handle herself, she had beaten him several times, she was a force to be reckoned with, but he still couldn’t stop from feeling protective over her, wanting to protect her.

Aus felt a rush of fear suddenly wash over her, but it wasn’t her own. In her dead lock with the guard, she looked to Kylo and saw him struggling against a guard that had him in a choke hold, slowly inching his electric sword closer to Bens neck. She immediately defeated the guard that was fighting with her and threw her sabre to Ben. He caught it and ignited it into the guards helmet, dropping him.

Aus ran, pointing to the Resistance fleet being blown out of space, “Order them to stop firing, there is still time to save the fleet!” She yelled, but only looked back to find Ben standing over Snokes body, looking at it. She sensed the shift in him now and she knew…she had lost him.

“I want you to join me” Kylo said, reaching out his hand. Aus didn’t want to believe what she was hearing, she didn’t want to believe that she was wrong, so wrong. “Don’t do this, Ben. Please, don’t go this way” she cried out. “You’re still holding on, let go. Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Where you come from? Or have you always known?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

Aus started weeping but trying to hold her composure, “My parents were nobody, from no where” she wept out. “they were Empire sympathizers, happy to give their only child to the Order, not giving a second thought to it. They’re dead, in a grave outside a small village on Endor.” Aus knew he was right, but found no words.  “You have no place in this story, you come from nothing, you’re nothing” Kylo continued “….But not to me...Join me….Please….” Kylo pleaded, stretching out his hand further, stepping closer.

Aus looked to him, her heart shredding at every word, every breath. He finally bared to her, but he was wrong. She wanted so badly for him to come with her, but she knew he wouldn’t. He had every opportunity and he was choosing the dark side, the Order…again. He chose a path she would not follow. Aus held his gaze, his pleading, wanting gaze as she slowly moved her hand towards his.

Kylo stood there, praying and hoping so much that she would take his hand, end his loneliness. She would be such a great ally, he told himself. She reached out towards his hand slowly, but instead of taking his hand, she called the sabre. They fought over it, equally matched in their power and will. The sabre broke in two and both force users were thrown back.

Aus stood up, ready to continue fighting, only to find Kylo knocked out. She grabbed the 2 halves of the broken sabre and hurried to Kylo. She looked down at him laying there. She was broken hearted, but after he chose, she closed him off and was ready to do what needed to be done. She readied herself to call Kylos sabre to her, she was going to kill him.

“no….no….he must..live…today…no…no….he must live today….please…” The force begged swarming around her. She tried to shake it from her head, he was so wrong, he will continue to destroy, he needs to die, But the voices in the force only got louder. Aus inhaled and exhaled deeply and left him as he was. If there was one thing Aus was good at was waiting.

Stealing one of the nearby ships, Aus got off the Supremacy and headed to rendezvous with Chewie. The falcon flew to Crait where the Resistance just fled too and was followed by the Order. Breaking atmosphere and starting their attack, Aus and Chewie received the attention of the Tie Fighters immediately. After losing them in the salt mines, the Falcon landed on a flat on one of the mountains, out from sight of the Order. The beacon that Aus carried to find her way back to the Resistance guided her to their landing.

She could feel Leia and Finn and several life signatures behind a wall of rocks, “Its more than lifting rocks…” Aus smiled to herself. She stretched out her arm, closed her eyes and used the Force to move them out of the way. The rocks moved and Resistance members emerged from the darkness. Finn and Rey saw Aus and ran to her, taking her into an embrace. This shocked Aus but she also found herself enjoying it. Their caring in this moment was true, she was cared for.

Aus ushered them onto the Falcon, trying to get the off the planet. Aus paused, she felt Luke, he felt…at peace. Leia came up to the Falcon, she paused too, feeling the same as Aus. They climbed up to the Falcon, finishing the evacuation. She felt that thrum happen and saw Kylo kneeling below, looking up to her. She didn’t know what to think. For a fleeting moment she felt him and wanted to hope again, but recalled their recent run in and his choices, and shut him out. She was done.

Kylo looked to her, holding his fathers dice in his hand. He did all this. The second he saw her above him, he had held himself from going towards her like he always did. He started to lean but stopped, he could see she was done. He hoped she would say something, anything. She may have let him live and that was her mistake, he was prepared to kill her, but right now, he knew he fucked up… everything. She was the one he wanted, and he chose goodbye, he chose the darkside, the Order.

They broke each others hearts. He _had_ to be the monster now. He watched her until she was gone and the connection faded. When the bond closed, he felt like whatever was left of his soul had gone with it.

                “How do we build a rebellion with this?” Aus said, looking to the broken sabre and the hand full of survivors around her. Leia smiled and grabbed her hands and told her they had everything they needed. The Resistance aboard the Falcon was now on their way to their new base. Now that the spark of hope had been re-lit in the Galaxy they were going to keep going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how i felt during the entire last jedi moments. 
> 
> ““Say something im giving up on you. Ill be the one if you want me to. Anywhere I, would have followed you. Say something im giving up on you. And I am feeling so small. It was over my head, I know nothing at all. And I, will stumble and fall. Im still learning to love, just starting to crawl. Say something im giving up on you. Im sorry that I couldn’t get to you. Anywhere I would have followed you. Say something im giving up on you. And I, will swallow my pride. You’re the one that I love and Im saying goodbye. Say something im giving on you. And im sorry that I couldn’t get to you. Anywhere I would have followed you, say something….anything”” great big world.


	17. Dream World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sexy stuff ***  
> Dreams are in bold

Life in the new base was decent. The rebels were still only the hand full that Aus had picked up from Crait, but there were a few new faces that joined later.  They were on the planet called Aurorn. Mostly jungle, and because of the jungle was so heavily forested they couldn’t be scanned from outside the planets’ atmosphere. The planet itself was mostly uninhabited with the exception of a few small villages scattered about.

The base was old and well buried due to its time being unused. Trees and other vegetation had taken over the walls, some rooms, etc. But the structure itself was sound enough. The hanger held several old X-wings and other types of fighters and speeders, all needing work but completely capable of being brought back to fighting condition.

                Because of how few the Resistance was, they were laying low for the time being. Everyone was privy to their own quarters. The rooms were very small, housing a twin sized bed, a dresser and desk as well as a private toilet and shower, it reminded her of the quarters she had on the Finalizer for a few days before she “joined” the Resistance. Aus enjoyed the privacy though. In her down time when she wasn’t training, reading the Jedi Texts she “borrowed” or learning to work on fighters, she was in her room drawing.

                She found that she quite liked drawing. She did it here and there when she was in the Order, but never really had time or the privacy to do so. Now she could do it anytime she wanted and with real flimsy and writing utensils that she’d found in a supply room. The base was old enough that there were plenty “old fashioned” things laying around, but they still had some “newer” technologies, such as data pads, communications, etc.

                Since they had been at the new base, Aus had gotten to know Finn and Rey much better, as well as Finns new friend, Rose. Rose is amazing. Aus loved how Rose and Rey were so incredibly smart, especially in mechanics. Aus only really knew how to do one thing and that was kill, she would have loved to of had the opportunity to learn mechanics.

                Aus adores these people she has come to call friends and family over the last month. Though her and Poe don’t get along all that well, they have come to work together just fine and even have become friendly acquaintances when the group gets together for cards or other games. She has come to enjoy the company and the comradery.

Leia likes to stop by to chat and has also included Aus in command meetings. When Leia is around though, Aus always gets the feeling of sadness, over Luke...over Han...and over her baby boy. She can feel Leia wants to ask her about him, but she never does and Aus doesn’t offer anything up, she doesn’t want to think of him or talk about him and is relieved when Leia never does either.

                 It wasn’t all good though. For the first weeks she had nightmares, non-stop and wasn’t sleeping. Her dreams were plagued with the new face of Kylo Ren, helmet re-pieced together with what looked like red kyber crystal. She watched him kill her friends, but worse she watched herself kill everyone, over and over again. In one dream she was falling, forever. In another she is killing her friends. And so on.

When she was admitted to Medbay for exhaustion they managed to get her on a dream suppressant and it worked wonders. For the first time in so many years, she would sleep with no interruption from alarms, nightmares etc.

                “Fuck!” Aus spoke under her breath. “Whats wrong?” Rose asked coming up next to her. Rose had come to chat with Aus about a few things, but they mainly talked about Roses home world. During the conversation Aus went to take her dream suppressant before she passed out and found that she was out. “Maybe it wont be so bad, I mean its been a few months since anything terrible has happened, maybe you’ll have a good dream?” Rose tried to make her feel better. Aus was worried but just agreed, knowing there was nothing she could do.

                “Anyway, do you miss your home? I know it was terrible when the Order came, but before, did you like it?” Aus asked, sitting on her bed now, trying to avoid the inevitable. Rose smiled and went on about how she loved the mining colony because of her sister. Aus liked to hear peoples past, especially when they were happy and had a family. She wondered what that felt like.

                Finn never seemed to cared about his past. Not to mention he was kind of in love with Rose now. But Aus sometimes couldn’t shake wondering what it would be like to have a family like that. “Hey Aus…can I ask you something?” Rose hesitated. Aus nodded, so Rose continued “when you were in the Order, did you really help troopers escape? And not kill?” Her face full of curiosity. Sometimes Aus got the feeling people thought things of her that weren’t true, and usually it was this, that she was a hero or something.

                “I helped a few escape, but Finn is the only one that I know for sure that got out. As far as not killing when commanded, Rose….Ive killed hundreds of people, probably thousands over my years in the Order” Aus didn’t want to lie to her, she could feel that she wanted to talk about this for a while, or something along the lines, but Aus was glad she waited until now. Rose’s face turned to a disappointed frown, but then returned to honest curiosity. “Finn said that you refused to kill,” she rebuttled.

                Aus rolled her eyes, of course Finn would bring this stuff up. “Yes, a few years ago I decided I didn’t want to kill anymore. Even talked my squadron and a few others into stunning instead of killing. Change of heart I guess” Aus didn’t want to talk about it, but Rose didn’t let up, “you are her, the storm trooper that helps people get away. Ive heard stories over the years, but I didn’t believe that someone in the Order could ever be like that,” she said with a smile.

                Aus didn’t want to talk about the Order, or at least continue this conversation, because she knew where it was going, “Well, im going to go to sleep” she said. “Were you really Kylo Rens personal training partner?” Rose asked. Aus nodded, “yup.” She sat there and waited for what was to come. Rose looked away from her, to the ground and around the room then back to Aus. “What was it like? He’s so messed up, the cruelest thing in the Galaxy, how could you…did you want too?” Rose had so many questions, but stopped herself. Aus sat there, sadness trying to seep in, but she shut it down. “It was fun. I am the best, he is the best. It was amazing. Its not often one gets to go up against someone who is your equal. And yeah, he is a monster. Made the worst by the worst.”

                Rose sat there and took everything that Aus said to heart. She couldn’t believe that someone would consider it fun or amazing to train with Kylo Ren, the Destroyer of the Galaxy, killer of the Resistance and his own father. But Rose also remembers that like Finn, Aus comes from the Order as well, and that when you are apart of something, things are different on that side. She assumed that she would feel the same way if she were in the position.

                Rose smiled at Aus and nodded. “Ok, well I should let you get some sleep, Aus. Thanks for talking tonight, im sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I really am” She ended. Aus shook her head and smiled, “No you are fine. Goodnight”. Rose left, and Aus crawled into bed, hoping that she wouldn’t dream tonight. She did not get her wish.

               

“ **Report, LT. FN-2905. Hux slithered out. Aus stood at attention, looking to Hux from beneath her Trooper helmet, “What we were ordered to retreive was not there, sir. We tore the village apart, sent troopers in all directions, nothing. Our intel was inaccurate, or someone tipped them off, Sir.” She finished.**

**Hux walked around her, looking her up and down, “remove your helmet” he said calmly. That sent shivers down her spine. Aus was terrified, she didn’t want to be seen, especially by Hux. She could feel what he wanted every time she was in his office, but not this time and it made her uneasy. He never acted on anything, but it disgusted her especially when he came near and hovered, though this time felt different…**

**Aus removed her helmet, and continued to look forward, trying not to make eye contact with the general. “You have a very impressive record, LT. but why are you out of uniform?” He asked. Confused, Aus looked down to see she was wearing only her breast band and shorts. “Uh I am unsure, Sir” she stuttered out, trying to cover herself. The General stopped her from doing so, taking her arm in his hand.**

**She looked to him immediately, a wicked smile upon his face. Her skinned crawled. Hux got closer, pressing himself against her side, still holding her arm. “your combat capabilities are impeccable, im betting you have other abilities that are impeccable as well, hhmm?” Hux followed by running his nose and lips against the side of her temple. He inhaled deeply and with that, she felt stuck, unable to move.**

**“I know you are aware of things that you shouldn’t know, ive seen it,” Hux whispered. He turned away from a paralyzed Aus and turned on a screen. It was the session between her and Ben, when they were kissing and touching on the floor. She was horrified, how did he know this? There were no cameras in there. What is he going to do?**

**Hux walked around, stopping behind her “For someone that was never taught or shown anything like this, you look well practiced. I will forgive this incident if you “train” with me from now on,” Hux said, hovering over her shoulder, kissing and caressing her arms.**

**She screamed and elbowed him in the face, breaking his nose and pulling away. She ran out of the office and into the corridor, Aus looked down to find she was in her trooper armor again, though when she looked back up it was too late.**

**“What do you think you are doing? Where is your helmet?” Ren shouted from behind his repaired mask. “Commander,” she said while she tried to getting up after crashing into him, “Commander, my apologies. Sir, I was on my way to…” but she was cut off. “With me, LT.” He said, walking away. Aus was sure she was going to be met with the end of a red crackling blade. But she followed him into a room and with the closing of the door, his helmet was off.**

**“Im sorry, Sir. It wont happen again” She said, fear running through her body. She knew him, why did she fear him now? She never really feared him, but she couldn’t feel or see what his next moves were and it scared her. ‘Oh my gods,’ she thought as she found she had no powers! Ren stepped closer, examining her face. “Faceless Storm Trooper” he said before taking her mouth with his.**

*****Shock hit her hard, but she didn’t fight. Ever since she began training with him, she wanted him. He moved them towards a table in the center of the room, bumping into it. Aus looked down to find she was fully naked, embarrassment rushing her face, “don’t be afriad,” he said before tossing her onto the table. “Tell me you want me…please” he demanded, still fully clothed and standing at the end of the table she was now laying on. Want and Lust ran throughout her body, “I want you to fuck me, Commander Ren. Please!” Aus pleaded out.**

**Kylo smiled a crooked smile as he grabbed her legs and pulled her towards him, her sex meeting his hidden hard cock. “Tell me how badly you want me, that you need me,” he commanded. Aus could feel her body screaming now, “Please! Ive wanted you since the moment you showed me your face, since I first saw you fight, since I first fought you, saw you…Please, Kylo, Please!” she begged. Kylo unleashed his rage filled cock from its restraint and slammed it into her. She screamed out a loud moan of pain and pleasure.**

**Grabbing at his hands that held onto her hips. Kylo thrusted into her like a punishment, but it was what she wanted. “Put the mask on,” she pleaded. Kylo, surprised, didn’t hesitate and put his mask back on. She was practically screaming while the pleasure coursed through their bodies. He stopped suddenly, grabbed her and flipped her onto her stomach, then rammed his massive cock back inside her, pounding with no signs of slowing.**

**“This is what you wanted, to let the darkness fill you,”  he panted out. She nodded, almost unable to control her own body. “yes..YES…only YOU, forever” she said. Kylo continued relentlessly pounding her, cupping her throat and holding her there while he gave it to her. Before she was about to climax, Kylo whispered, resting his lips on her ear “Ben, call me Ben… please…” the desperation in his voice like the throne room.**

**This caught her off guard completely, almost snapping her from the dream. She looked to him, his mask off again, looking into her eyes as he pounded, the familiar look of desperation on his face. It was a dream, and she knew it, but she wanted to have this. A single tear fell from her eye as she stared at him, but he didn’t stop, and that was it “Ben…” she stuttered his name as she orgasmed, feeling Ben’s relief and sorrow drowned her.*****

                Aus woke in a sweat. Unable to think properly, ‘what the hell was that?’ she thought. There is no way she would dream that, or would she? She did, she knows that, but shes never done that before, how would she even know? And whhhhhy was it Ren? Her body reacted so easily, she could still feel it and secretly still wanted it, but for sanity sakes, it should have been anyone else. She was so upset, and the first thing she did was go to the Medbay and check on getting more dream suppressant meds.

                “Im sorry, but until we have another supply run, we don’t have everything to create that drug. Im really sorry. It may be a week or so” the doctor said. Aus accepted this, she could live with the nightmares, or dreams like that for the mean time... “theres nothing that will help in the meantime?” Aus asked, just in case. The doctor shook her head a repeated what she had said.

Aus went about the rest of her day trying to avoid thinking about the dream that made her warm…below. She read for a short while. Tired of reading, Aus went out to the hanger, hoping to find something to do, to keep her mind busy. She worked on an x-wing for several hours. Aching and becoming stiff, she decided on a break. Rey and Rose had been teaching her mechanics, so she helps wherever she can.

Her light sabre was still in two pieces, unable to repair it yet, Aus found an old double sided electric staff in the armory. In the court yard Aus swung and dodged until her heart felt like it was going to burst through her chest. Doubled over, hands on her knees breathing heavily, Aus felt a disturbance in her focus, “Hey Aus!!” Finn yelled as he and Rey ran up to her. They were all smiles as they approached, “We are throwing a party tonight, thought it might be fun for everyone to blow off some steam, try relax a little, ya know?” Finn said, Rey standing next to him smiling.

Aus lifted her brows in a surprised matter but agreed that the base should have some fun of some kind. They could all be dead tomorrow, it would be worth it. “We are going to have something called a cake and music! I’m very excited. Please say you’ll come!” Rey let out excitedly, clasping her hands together. “Yes, Ill be there, ha ha” Aus let out, slapping Finn and Rey on the shoulder.

The rest of the day went well, Aus completed a few things as well as a few personal challenges. She really didn’t want to go to the party, but she knew she should. Reluctantly dragging herself to the common room, Aus met Finn, Rey and Rose there. “Cake is now my favorite thing in the whole Galaxy,” Rey moaned out through a full mouth. Aus just smiled at her and looked around the room. Everyone seemed to be there, even Leia showed up. Everyone was smiles and it was good.

Aus didn’t consume alcohol, but she enjoyed the cake and water provided. Everyone was dancing in the center of the room. The music was wonderful, but old. She found she quite liked it though. Rey and Rose drug her to the dance floor and wouldn’t let her leave until she started moving.

The rest of the night was tiring, Aus actually couldn’t wait to sleep, she didn’t care if she had a nightmare, as long as she was asleep. After the first couple of forced dances, Aus snuck off the dance floor and into the shadows, just to watch. “Hey,” Poe said as he joined her. “Not much for dancing, huh?” smiling. Aus smiled and shrugged her shoulders, looking from Poe back to the dance floor. “Want some?” Poe asked, handing her a cup full of Alcohol.

Aus shook her head, “I don’t like to lose that much control, but thanks, Poe.” Poe smiled, took a drink and threw the cup. “Come on!” He said smiling as an upbeat track started. Poe reached out his hand to Aus, taking her hand and dragging her to the floor. “No, I don’t want to, Poe!” she said, but found herself kind of wanting to. She slunk herself along with him and found herself on the dance floor with Poe and they were dancing. Finn, Rey and Rose were already dancing, and now, they were all dancing together in a group, and it was fun.

After the dance, the group sat around some crates and just started chatting. Poe liked to talk, a lot. He told stories about everything and anything. The rest just listened, tying not to fall asleep. It was nice to just be for a while.

Sleep came quickly for Aus that night, she drifted into dream land and this time it was no nightmare.

**Cool breeze on a warm day near the cabin by the lake. The sun was warm on her face and she couldn’t be happier. Birds whistling throughout the nearby forest and the smell of moss and water floating through the air. “Hey you, I thought you’d be here sooner,” He said coming up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed her gently on the neck and rested his head on her shoulder.**

**She turned her head to look at him, his face, so soft and beautiful and just smiled softly. It’d been so long since she saw him smile and she couldn’t help herself. “Why couldn’t you be real?” she said with a smile, but it was laced in melancholy. Ben jumped in front of her laughing “are you ok? I didn’t know the Jedi had a sense of humor” He jested, hands on his hips.**

**She shook her head and let out a smile, “nevermind, Lets go swimming!” she yelled out, running towards the water, stripping off her clothing. Ben followed suit. Water splashed around them as they ran in. Splashing each other, laughing, enjoying their freedom. He caught her as she tried to run away, but she let him. She wanted nothing more than to be there. But he stilled as he held her, just looking into her eyes. He was silent.**

**“What was that” Aus said alarmed. He said nothing. Suddenly she was aware, more aware than she ever felt in a dream, “I can fucking feel you, I can feel what you’re feeling, that doesn’t happen in my dreams...” She stepped back, starting to panic. “Aus...” He started but she cut him off, “Oh my gods, you’re fucking here! You’re actually in my fucking dreams! It wasn’t enough that I shut the connection off, I have to fight you in my fucking sleep too?!” She started running to the shore, doing everything she could to distance herself him. ‘**

**He followed after her but ended up in front of her on the shore before she got there. “how the hell…oh right, it’s a dream. How long have you been in my dreams?!” she yelled at him. He was now clothed in his high waisted black leather pants, looking to her, unsure of what to say and slightly saddened that she found out, “a while” he responded. “What the fuck does that mean, Kylo!?” she yelled back. Kylo flinched at the use of his taken name coming from her lips, “Randomly over several years I have been in this dream. I didn’t know it was your dream until a few months ago.”**

**Aus was so angry, she couldn’t believe it. She paused and the thought of the dream from the night before hit her mind, she felt him then too, why didn’t she question it, “wait, only this dream?” she suspiciously looked to him. Kylo stood there, not saying a word, and a flash of the previous dream passed through her mind, but not from her perspective, “Oh my Gods!!!!” she screamed. “I didn’t that was really YOU, I thought I was just dreaming…and…” he quickly rebuttled. And that was it. Aus threw up a wall and sat down. She couldn’t get herself to wake so she was going to do the next best thing.**

**“What are you doing?” He asked as the walls went up. They were trapped inside four cement walls with no doors or windows. She just sat there, not looking at him, not talking, and keeping her thoughts to herself. “Aus don’t,” he said, walking around her. “No! you don’t! you don’t deserve anything. I will not talk to you or see you until I get my dream suppressants. I can’t fucking believe this” she finished and looked away from him again.**

**Kylo huffed and just stood there. “Fine!” he shouted.**


	18. Let's get this party started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sexy stuff ***  
> Dreams are in bold

Angry with the force, with Kylo, with everything, Aus trained for hours. Trying to expel every bit of anger, rage and frustration she felt, she yelled, swung, jabbed at the tree she had normally used to “train” with. All she pictured was kylo. How dare he! It wasn’t enough to crush her heart over and over, but then he figured out they were dreaming together and he let it continue! The things they…”AAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRR” She screamed as she split the tree down the center.

No one was awake yet, no doubt due to the party the night before. Sweating beyond belief, exhausted and drained Aus finally decided to eat. In the Common room, food was set up and Rose was already in there, “Good morning, Aus!” she said happily. Was she always in a good mood? Aus thought. “You look like hell, I thought you didn’t drink?” She said as Aus sat down. “Bad dream, early morning training, think I may work in the hanger all day…just wanna keep busy right now I guess” she replied.

After breakfast Aus and Rose went to the hanger worked random fighters and weapons. It seemed no matter how much they worked on them they never got done. A few were fly worthy, but still needed more work. “Heys guys!” Poe said coming up to them under one of the fighters. “Hey” they responded together. “How you feelin today, Aus?” Poe said, leaning against the fighter. “uh, excuse me guys, Im gonna go get something, ill be back…” Rose said as she excused herself.

Aus paid no mind and continued working on the wiring above her. Poe got closer, looking to what she was doing, but she could feel that he didn’t care and was interested in talking to her. “What can I do for you, Poe?” she asked. “I was wondering if you wanted to learn to fly? We can start your flight training tomorrow if ya want?” she said.

Aus stopped, looked up at him, “Hell yes!” she yelled as she jumped up. She was so excited, “Ive wanted to for so long, just never got to in the Order, but yes!” Poe smiled as she wrapped her arms around him in thanks. They smiled at the other as they pulled away. “oh, am I interrupting?” Rose asked as she came up. Aus turned away confused, “No” she replied and to squat to get back to work. Embarrassment rolled off Poe as he smiled to Rose. It was an odd feeling, Aus only felt that when Finn was around Rose, and Rey around Poe, she didn’t really understand it. “Anyway, Poe. Leia is looking for you.” Rose said.

After Poe left, Rose ran over to Aus, “what happened? I felt like I was interrupting something,” she said as she sat next to Aus. Aus shook her head, “just that, we start training tomorrow. Ive always wanted to fly so that is very thrilling,” Aus finished. “But…you guys were hugging...I thought maybe...ha ha nevermind, anyway need any help?” Rose said awkwardly. The two women worked on the fighter for a few hours more and then went off to dinner.

After dinner Aus went to her room, avoiding the get together that usually happened with them afterwards. When she entered her room, Aus started the music player in the corner then sat on her bed with her pad of flimsy and pencil and just started drawing. During their time there, everyone had the chance to explore the old base, finding things useful for the Resistance as well as personal happiness. Aus had found a music player with only a few tracks on it, but they were beautiful melodies. She listened to them over and over while she drew, it was an escape she knew she could enjoy.

The moon light leaked in through the small square window in the wall as she drew. It was serenity. She’d drawn several things over the last few months, fighters, animals, her friends. There were even a few secret drawings that she could never get herself to finish, now more than ever she didn’t want to finish them.

Sleep that night was not easy, once she fell Aus woke to find herself inside the wall she raised. She was alone and for a moment thought about dropping them, until he appeared. Aus sat immediately and ignored him. Kylo paced, his cape flowing behind him as he did. She never spoke to him during this dream, it was tiring to hold the walls but worth it, he didn’t deserve anything good. Maybe if she shut it out enough, he would be gone, just like the connection they had before.

The next day, Aus raced to the hanger to meet Poe and go for her first flight. Poe went over all the controls, which Aus had come to know well with the repairs she’d been taught and learned to do. When they finally took off, Aus felt a whole new level of ecstasy in flight. They flew for a few hours and finally landed for dinner. “You’re a freakin natural, Aus!” Poe yelled as he exited his fighter. They were ecstatic and laughing uncontrollably as they walked out of the hanger. It was so strange, when Aus was in the air, it was like she knew how to do it, how to fly, how to do it all.

After they changed from their flight jumpers, Aus and Poe joined the rest of the group for dinner and they couldn’t stop talking about the flight. “Shes amazing up there! You wouldn’t know she never flew before” Poe kept saying, “I cant wait to fly in battle with you!” he finished. Aus just smiled, but she did talk about what it was like fly. How it made her feel and that everyone should be doing it. Dinner went fast and so did the after meet up. Sleep that night was the same as the night before.

The next week was draining. The Resistance received more fighters curtesy of a sympathizer but they were just as rough as the ones found in the base, however they were lucky enough to receive new parts for them. There was plenty of cheering that day. They worked non stop on them for the next several days. Lately when she took a break, it was to fly. There were few moments when she was in the air, that she thought of just flying away, finding her place, but then she’d see the faces of her friends as she landed and felt like she made the right choice to come home.

Tonight Aus decided to hang with her friends, they started telling stories again. “Aus! Come on, you never tell us anything, there has got to be something you can tell us from your days in the Order, I mean, come on. It couldn’t be all death and beatings, right?” Poe jokingly let out. Aus sat there, trying to hide a smile, deciding whether she should tell them or not. She opened her mouth to speak, “Kylo Ren killed a captain for her!” Finn shouted out, “It was insane! The captain was shooting his own troopers, reading himself to start killing them during training, Aus stopped it and instead of being put down herself or sent to reconditioning, at her word, Ren choked the guy out and snapped his neck. She was promoted the next day! Crazy shit!” he finished.

Why did Finn always say things like this. Everyone was looking at her with unease and shock. She already felt like a freak for her force powers and even more so because everyone knows she used to train with Kylo. Before anyone had the chance to talk about it she blurted out, “So I pantsed Huxley one time in front of the entire fleet…” Everyones expressions and moods changed, some tried to hide their smiles, “That was you? Ha ha! I almost forgot about that!” Finn shouted, laughing hard. Aus laughed and nodded her head.

“we were called to one of Hux’s many self-serving speeches. Since I started having these “abilities” I really liked messing with Hux, for several reasons…..anyway, this time though, I went a bit over the top. We get into formations, etc. they introduced the General and he is going on about how amazing we are but we were getting lazy, etc. I got bored and irritated with it so…I undid his belt and dropped his trousers in front of everyone...they whisked him away pretty quickly.”

Everyone was stunned and just stared at her, mouths open in smiles, in disbelief. “You actually force dropped General hux pants in front of the whole order?” Poe shouted out. Aus nodded her head again. “I would have loved to had seen that,” both Rey and Poe let out. Aus thought for a moment, maybe she could show them? “Give me your hand, I want to try something,” she said, reaching out to Rey. Rey didn’t hesitate for a moment, that is one of the things Aus loved about her.

She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but if something could be extracted from the mind, why not put there, or shown? “this is not going to hurt, I promise you. I haven’t done this before so, there is that..can I continue?” She spoke to Rey, holding her hand. Rey smiled and nodded, she was fearless. Aus raised her free hand hovering it just next to Rey’s temple, not touching her “close your eyes”. After a few moments, Rey started to giggle, “that tickles a bit” she said, not opening her eyes.

Aus smiled and continued her trial run. “Oh maker! I cant believe this! I’m seeing it!” Rey let out a loud snort of laughter. When the memory finished, Rey opened her eyes, almost in tears at the sight she just witnessed and the power she felt as well. Aus felt a little tired but it was worth it. “you need to see this!” Rey said, turning to the others. Rose went next, followed by Finn. They were rolling in laughter, tears were everywhere, but they were happy tears. Aus couldn’t stop herself, everytime she saw the image, it elicited the same reaction everytime, constant entertainment and sheer undeniable joy. She had never felt this feeling before.

When it came to Poe’s turn, he opted against it. Aus understood due his previous encounter with mind rape…”I promise I wont look for anything, I will only show you” Aus said, reaching out her hand, “If at anytime you want out, you just need to say so and I will cease immediately.”

Poe still hesitated greatly, “Nah, its okay, really. I believe you.”

“Oh come on, Poe,” Finn said, slapping him on the back

“yeah poe, you wont regret it,” Rey and rose shouted, still laughing.

Poe reluctantly extended his hand out, taking hers in his. He was nervous, unsure, scared, and slightly off in general. Aus treaded lightly “now close your eyes” she whispered. “relax, just a little bit,” Aus let out softly. Poe did as she asked, only slightly, but it was enough to wiggle her way in. A few moments later Poe was also in tears from laughing uncontrollably. The night had gone well. They continued to laugh at Huxley’s expense for the next hour, asking about the other things she’d done to him.  

“Well that’s it for me, im toast” Aus said, and with that excused herself.

**“I felt you today, it was strange, it was strong. it was immense joy, what was it?” he asked, but she did not acknowledge him. “please, say something. Yell at me, anything,” he begged of her. He sat directly in front of her staring at her, when she did not respond, Kylo hung his head staring at his feet.**

**It has been like this for the past 8 days, she could feel the loneliness, the wanting to communicate radiating of him…the need. It was almost suffocating her. She ignored him every night, kept the connection closed. She was so tired of fighting it though. She thought to herself, ‘Maybe just tonight,’ so she can feel rested, she wouldn’t have to fight it. The force obviously isn’t going to let this down.**

**She dropped the walls and reached her hand out to Kylo. He looked up immediately, seeing the walls drop and her hand outreached towards him. Now he felt suspicious, “what are you doing?” he asked, before reaching to her. She just shook her hand at him to take it. Kylo reached out his ungloved hand to her, desperate to touch her again.**

**She showed him what he wanted to know, the moment that gave her sheer joy. He saw her friends, sitting around a table, talking and laughing, jealousy started to bubble within him as the images passed through his mind. Then he halted. “What?” he said as the image of Hux came up. Aus tried to hold back a smile. “I cant believe you did that, you could have been found out” he said, with a crooked grin. She looked up to him, mirrored his grin and shrugged her shoulders.**

**A moment passed by and he was laughing. Holding his side with one hand and never letting go of hers with the other. It was a sight to behold, Kylo Ren actually laughing. She had seen his dream self laugh a few times and smile, and even in training, but this was something else. She could tell he hadn’t laughed like that in so long, he honestly probably couldn’t remember if he tried.**

**She couldn’t hold it in any longer and laughed with him. It was like beautiful music. Aus jumped into his lap, shocking him out of his laughter, “there’s something else. I didn’t share with them, it is too horrific, but im not going to be the only one to know, you soo deserve this” Aus said, smiling devilishly. Kylo was uncertain but didn’t have time to do anything.**

**Her hand lifted towards his face, and he tried to fight her, well sort of. They giggled at the others determination, but she won out. “Holy gods! Oh My GODS! NO!” he lowly yelled as the images flooding into his mind. Aus had walked in on Hux bent over on his desk with Captain Phasma. Phasma had one hand on his cock and the other in his….”Oh please, stop! I cant see this anymore, its burned into my memory, you are the cruelest Jedi ive ever met. I hate you” Kylo hissed as he broke the bond, wrapping his arms around her, seemingly trying to “stop” her. “You don’t hate me,” she giggled, feeling Kylo agree with her.**

**“I didn’t want to be the only one, you will never be able to look at Hux the same way again” she laughed out. Kylo wiggled against her in disgust and admiration for the little jedi in his arms. She caught his gaze and felt the pull that always happened when they were near like this. But she only felt utter sadness. For the first time, she felt his emotions mirror her own, exactly. She leaned into him, placing her hands on his shoulders and pressing her cheek against his. It wasn’t exactly the same feeling as in person, but it was so much to him either way.**

**“Please, Ben. You can’t come back here, its not fair…you can’t have it both ways,” she whispered in his ear. He only squeezed her tighter, knowing she was right, but wanting to hold on before the inevitable.**


	19. More than a memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sexy stuff ***  
> Dreams are in bold

“What exactly does that mean?” Aus asked Rose. Two members of the Resistance decided they wanted to marry, Rose was excited as she told Rey and Aus the news. “there’s going to be a party after the ceremony” Rose added. Aus thought it was strange but if it made her friend happy, why the not.

Aus had an idea of what marriage was, especially because every culture was different. In a time that they live in, there was no promised tomorrow. They said it was more tradition, that they take a little time, but it was also war so they didn’t want to wait too long.

Aus felt indifferent but wanted nothing but happiness for her friend. Fortunate to have someone to love like that and have them love you back. Leia had offered the girls the option to look through her wardrobe for something different to wear for the upcoming party. Naturally Aus and Rey didn’t understand the need, but Rose and Leia explained to them that sometimes, its fun to play dress up.

The women spent the day trying things on and eating. Leia enjoyed it most. Not just there was a wedding going to be had soon enough, but that her mind was focused on something else for once. She never had any daughters and even if she had, it would have ended up the same as Ben, left to himself most of the time while she was gone. Leia most enjoyed telling them how things worked and finding things that complimented them. It was nice for her to pretend that nothing else mattered, but this wedding party.

“You all look soo beautiful in these, I am so pleased that you were able to make use of these things,” Leia said smiling fondly. Aus and Rey felt ridiculous but eventually gave in a little to the “girlier” side of life. They took the items back to their rooms and off to bed.

Aus had gotten her suppressant replenished and to her relief hadn’t dreamt in a few weeks. She had to push it from her mind, and so she did. Her flying and combat training hasn’t slowed down either. Rose and Rey had been helping her here and there trying to fix her Sabre, but its been a slow process, she’d almost given up on it. She has quite taken a liking to the doublesided laser stick shed been using, it reminded her of the pike stick she used in the training room.

Leia had asked Aus if she would start training people for combat, due to the increase in rebels. Since they found their new base, the Rebellion had gone from about 20 to roughly 70. Its wasn’t a lot to set a full attack yet, but things were moving slowly and going.

The Order has almost completed its mission in destroying the Galaxy, but there was nothing the Resistance could do right now with out losing everyone.  So they focused on honing their skills. And like Aus had mentioned on several occasions, the one thing she was naturally skilled in, was battle.

Every day Aus and Rey held training. Some days it was hand to hand. Some days weapons and others flight. Rey and Aus have a very different fighting style, which makes for fun sparring. The others like to watch them go at it. Rey uses her staff against Aus while Aus used the laser staff. Though she misses the training she did with Kylo for the reason of them being equal in the force, she did enjoy her time with Rey. Rey wanted to know everything, and Aus was more than happy to teach her.

Several weeks of training and there was already a difference in performance. Aus even trained the few children that came with some of the Rebels. Finn, Rose and even Poe came to the training sessions, it was a workout as well as great staying alive skills.

Poe had been hanging around afterwards a lot, asking about one on one training with Aus. She spars with him sometimes, but tries to get him to train with Rey more. Rey likes him, it’s the same feeling rose and finn have about each other. But Poe doesn’t seem to reciprocate as much.

Aus had been avoiding him lately though, he has had strange emotions and feelings lately and it bothers her. She still didn’t like his arrogance or his needing to be the hero all the time. She also didn’t find him attractive, though that didn’t weigh in on whether to be friends with him or not.

She got the feeling he was into her. She had said it on occasion that she didn’t feel the same way, hoping he’d get the hint. But he just keeps coming. Aus hadn’t thought about that kind of thing at all with anyone, well…anyone here. She just wants this war to end so she can disappear. Start over and new like they all deserved. She didn’t like the attention, not from the pilot. He had a reputation that Aus didn’t care for either, so she just didn’t waste her time like that.

“Is there going to be cake at the party tomorrow night?” Rey asked sheepishly. Rose nodded really fast grinning ear to ear. “yes!” she replied excited. They had all become so grateful for the quiet time they’ve had the last several months, and even more so enjoying the little pleasures they get every now and then, like cake. Finn has become very useful in the kitchen, turned out he really loves to cook. Coming up with all kinds of different things to try. Baked goods are his favorite.

“Aus, may I speak with you?” Leia called from the corridor. Aus jumped up and jogged over to Leia, waving to her friends for the night. “Yes, Leia, what can I do for you?” she asked as they started walking.

“How are things going? Ive have been hearing nothing but good about you from everyone” Leia said.

“Oh, well that’s great. Everyone here is trying their hardest in all the training, they really want to fight. Makes me proud. They are almost ready, general” Aus replied.

Leia laughed, “Im not looking for a report, Aus. I really want to know how you’re doing. To be honest, I may be a little worried about you. You have been nonstop for several weeks now and just wanted to check in on you. I do believe the other day with the dresses was the first time I truly saw you take a break.”

Aus smiled, understanding her worry, “I just like to be busy, Leia. And theres plenty to do around here.”

The two women walked for a while longer chatting about flying, combat training, and the fact she hadn’t been able to figure out the sabre yet. Leia was very supportive In everything and even suggested to Aus that she meditate on it, maybe ask the force that way. So she was going to do just that.

Sometimes Leia would tell stories of Han and her, before they were married. When they were working together to save the Galaxy, etc. It was nice to hear and she could feel Leia liked talking about it, when she brought it up. Leia told Aus of Aldeeran and her parents. They have had many long conversations of them, as well as a few small ones about Anakin and Padme. But those seem to be really sore subjects. Aus had grown to think of Leia as a mother figure, it was nice to think so too. She would protect Leia at any cost, from anyone if she had too.

Aus walked Leia to her quarters and they said goodbye for the night. She laid on her bed, looking out the window, the sky was night with a hint of red, the suns going down. Aus drew for a while, working on some of the secret drawings she would never finish, or told herself she shouldn’t. The one she worked on now was of Finn and Rose on one side, Rey and Poe on the other and herself in the center. She was working on Poe, hamming him up trying to play cool while the others laughed. Then she stopped and switched her focus. Aus had previously drawn herself in the center, and out of no where, she started adding another body next to her.

She may have to be done with him, but he still lived in her memory, and sometimes it was ok to think of him as a “long-lost love” somewhere in the universe, just unable to come back to her, or that he was dead. It was easier than the alternative.


	20. Learning to Live again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sexy stuff ***  
> Dreams are in bold

Rey and Rose stopped by Aus’ and the three of them went on to the ceremony. Finn and Poe were already there waiting, cleaned and dressed up as they could be in such scarcity. Everyone took their seats, waiting for the couple to start the ceremony. It was nice, the couple walked up the aisle, hand in hand. Leia officiated them. The ceremony only lasted about 20 minutes then it was off to the party.

There was music and food and of course there was cake. Poe asked Aus to dance but she declined, so he took Rey to the dance floor to join an already dancing Finn and Rose. The entire Resistance was dressed up and dancing. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves. A slow composition played over the speaker system and everyone slowed down, taking their partner in their hands. Moving slowly to the sweet slow music, the newly married couple dancing at the center.

Aus smiled and watched. The music made her feel lonely and she didn’t care for it. She removed herself from the party and headed back to her room. Once in her room, she turned her music on, and walked to the open window. Wrapping her arms around herself, staring to the stars, she let her mind wander.

“I thought we weren’t doing this,” Kylo said. Aus exhaled, letting the tension leave her shoulders, she felt ease when his powers brushed hers, “can we please not fight right now?” she asked somberly, still looking out the window. Kylo noticed she was wearing a lavender colored mid-calf length dress, no doubt one his mothers, but he found he liked it and liked the dress accenting her every curve.

“What are you doing?” she asked, still staring out the window. Kylo felt her loneliness, it nearly mirrored his own, but she was exceptionally lonely this time, nothing like he’d felt from her before, “finished meeting General Hux and the other Officers. I probably shouldn’t continue,” he said. “Sorry I asked,” she replied.

The music changed tracks to her favorite piece. She turned to face him. She stared at the demasked monster in front of her. Aus walked to him, holding her hand out, “dance with me?” she asked. “I don’t hear any music” he said, reaching out to take her hand. He took her hand in his and they came together, moving to the sound they both now could hear. Kylo found it fascinating that with a touch he could hear what she heard, as long as she allowed him. “This is my favorite” she said, laying her head against his chest as they swayed.

Kylo hated the moments they had together, because they always ended the way they did, apart. He had only ever really held her close like this in a dream, she felt so real there, in his arms, swaying with him. “Im sorry, I just…there was a wedding tonight. Id never seen one, it was nice. Then there was an after celebration…everyone was dancing with someone and…I admittingly couldn’t stop thinking,” she finished, holding back her tears. Kylo just let her be, ‘its ok Star Light’ trickled through their bond, causing Aus to nuzzle her face into his chest more.

Kylo wanting to say so much, even partly lashing out. She closed everything, why should he give her anything? But he knew there was no point, why would he destroy this moment he will never have again? He tried desperately to fight the urge to yell at her, tell her it could always be this way if she just came with him. But it futile, he knew it. If they were not going to fight in this moment and pretend that everything was ok, he was going to do it.

“You’re such a wonderful dancer,” Aus whispered. “My mother insisted I learn for all the formal celebrations we had to attend” Kylo said factly. Aus was shocked he mentioned Leia at all and even called her mother, but she wasn’t about to open that up, this was too nice to mess up.

They swayed and Kylo twirled her, opening his mind to her so she knew what to do, it was like a fairytale, dancing with the dark prince, twirling, laughing, smiling. Aus heard the song coming to an end and the feeling of goodbye and melancholy washed over her body, Kylo knew it too. He wasn’t surprised that her favorite piece was something that was supposed to be happy but was really a sad goodbye.

With the last few notes, Kylo dipped her and brought her back up, with a soft sad smile on her face and the emotions being held back by the thinnest wall Kylo could put up, they engaged in the softest, saddest Kiss that had ever graced the universe. When she opened her eyes, she was alone once again, and emptier than ever. He stared at his empty hands, he had thought he knew loneliness and heartache…that was nothing compared to what was in him now.

Heartbroken and angry, Aus went back to the party “Which one of these is Alcohol?” She asked Poe and Finn. They laughed and looked at one another, “Are you okay?” Poe laughed out, pointing to the booze. Aus grabbed the cup and downed it. She slammed it on the table and went for another. “Whooaaaa, slow down there, Hyperspeed. Whats going on?” Poe asked trying to grab the cup from her. She snatched it back but realized she couldn’t tell these people that are her family, her friends that she is hurting and sad as hell that there is no way in this Galaxy she is ever going to be with the one person she wants. The person who is just like her, only he kind of likes being in the Dark side…but that was beside the point. How could she…She was feeling guilty about everything...Ben….her friends….all of it.

“Im, I just want to let loose tonight, it’s a happy occasion, right?” She said, slamming another back. “Lets go dance and get overly under the influence of alcohol” she forcibly said as she grabbed Poe and drug him to the floor with alcohol in one hand and Poe in the other. “drunk, you mean drunk” Poe said laughing as they danced sloppily, her drink spilling here and there, but she didn’t let up. Poe got drunk too, he was all over her, holding her from behind as she tried wiggling around to the beat, failing miserably. “Wanna get another drink?” Poe said, squeezing her, running his lips on her shoulder.

Aus hadn’t notice his movements, she was getting so far gone. They went and got another round, sitting at one of the tables. “So, whats goin on? You don’t drink and now you’re completely drunk?” Poe said, trying to keep a straight face. Aus went to speak, almost telling him everything, but stopped herself, she may be loaded, but she still knew not tell people about Ben. “I only dance good with…” She said out loud laughing, not finishing her sentence. Poe looked at her confused, but laughed.

“Let me take you back to your room” Poe said, taking her by the hand. They walked to her room, her arm around his. She was tipsy, having a hard time walking straight, Poe helped her along, trying not to fall himself. “Man, you are wasted!” Poe laughed out as she tripped over. Poe helped her back up trying to help her steady herself. “Thank you, Poe…its nice to know some things change their minds, right?” she said giggling uncontrollably.

“What do you mean by that?” Poe said. They continued walking, “OOhhh, Poe. Ya know, cause we hated each other and now we’re friends. At least more than we werrrreee,” Aus ended with a burp. Poe just laughed, “Well, here we are,” He said, swinging her around todays the door. Aus smiled and nodded her head, “yup! Resistance hero saves the day again! Thanks,” she said, opening the door.

“Hey, maybe I should come in and make sure you don’t kill yourself on the way to your bunk?” Poe smirked, leaning against the doorway. Though her senses were not at top level at the moment, she could feel strange intent flowing from him, as well as admiration. She rested her hand just below the door switch, smiling at Poe, “Night, Poe.” They watched each with cheeky smiles as the door slowed to a close.

Aus turned around, rolling her head around, “Ugh.” She moaned out. Aus opened her eyes, and there he was, laying in her bed. ‘you know what, forget this,’ she thought and started for the bed. She kicked of her shoes as she walked, wiggling out of her dress. She slipped off her breast band and then finally her underthings.

Once Aus reached the bed, she slid in next to Kylo, who was laying on his back asleep, 1 arm stretched out and the other tucked under his head. She pulled the blanket back over herself and nestled her head into his arm. Kylo unknowingly and immediately closed his arm around her, moving his head to place atop hers. She didn’t waste any time, with her free hand she placed it on his chest, running her hand from his chest, down his tight, strong stomach and further…Kylos eyes opened and snapped directly to the angel in his arms.

She was already looking up at him, smiling devilishly. She continued her exploration and took his covered cock in her hand. Kylos eyes widened and his lips parted. “What are you doing,” he said, speaking no louder than a whisper. She jumped on him quickly, only a thin piece of silk fabric from his pants separated them. Aus began rocking back and forth, grinding against his now extremely hard arousal. “I know you want it, I feel it, everytime we are together” she said, kissing his neck, and entangling her hand in his hair.

Kylo moaned out, but tried to keep his head about him, “are you...are you drunk?” he asked, smelling the booze on her breath and hearing the slur in her speech. “NOOOoooooo” she spoke unconvincingly. Kylo smirked, he’d never seen her drunk, he thought she didn’t, and by her condition, she doesn’t. “You are soo beautiful. Be my first, Ben. I need you,” she cooed.

Kylo began to give in, she was right, this was what he wanted, well part of it. She felt so good against him. Kylo snatched her in his arms and flipped her on to her back, placing himself between her spread legs. He took her mouth with his then hurried to her neck. “I want to do it like in my dreams, Ben” She pleaded. “No!” Kylo yelled and stopped, holding himself above her, closing his eyes, “this isn’t right! You’re drunk, this isn’t right” He said, trying to calm himself.

“You said yes wrong” she giggled underneath him, pawing at his chest, smiling. Kylo ignored her but did open his eyes to stare at her. “You’re the darksider, you’re supposed to like stuff like this, come on, please, I want you, I need you, Ben,” she said, taking his face in her hands, grinding herself against him again. He moved his face closer to hers, halting just a mere breath away from her lips with his, “you don’t know what you’re asking,” he trembled as he spoke.

***She broke the distance between them and Kylo gave in again to their wants. She slithered her hand between them, trying to push down his pants. Kylo reached down for his trousers, meeting her hand, His mouth on hers desperately trying to not break contact. He pushed down the top of his pants releasing his raging, aching cock and pressed himself against her. ****

He looked into her eyes again, falling into them. “No, not like this” He said, recovering himself, and rolling to the side of her, sitting up. She whimpered then lashed out at him, “Why not!? You want me too, I can feel it. We dance around it, you’re so stubborn, Ben Ren!” then she slapped him on the arm.

 “Why don’t you try this again when you’re sober, huh? Tell me then that you want me, that you need me. I will gladly take you then and there, but I will not do this with you while you’re like this.  You will hate yourself tomorrow if I do. Id rather you hate me for not doing…than have you hate yourself for letting me when you were inebriated. I may be a monster, but im not….” Kylo stopped, looked down to her as she skooched herself into his lap, wrapping his arms around herself.

Kylo exhaled and held her tight, laying them both down, never letting her go. He was trying to pull the blanket back onto him, wrestling with it. Aus rolled her head back, exposing her face to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Im sorry, I wont do that to you,” He spoke softly, still trying to straighten the blanket covering them. She shook her head at his words tears starting in her eyes, scrunching her face like she was angry “Its not that……” more tears swelling in her eyes “Why don’t you love me? Like I love you?” She cried out.

Kylo stopped, quickly shooting his eyes to look into her tear filled ones. He didn’t say anything, what could he say? What did he want to say? He brought his hand to her face and tried wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. She tried to shake him off, holding her face as if she were angry, but she was waiting, hoping he’d say something, anything and trying to keep her tired eyes open. He felt the emotions flowing their bond, suffocating him like an open airlock. Kylo kissed her lips once again, soft and tender this time, still unsure of what to do. Aus broke away, slipping under his chin, nuzzling into him.

Little snores escaped her as she fell into a slumber. “Why do you think I stopped myself, Star Light?” Kylo whispered aloud, knowing she did not hear his confession. He held her there for as long as he could until sleep took him. Neither had a nightmare that night nor were disturbed.


	21. What she's doing now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“Hey! Are you alive??” Rey and Rose yelled from the door as they walked into her room. Aus moaned from her bed, as the to women walked up to her. “you’re naked!” Rey laughed. “ugh, I know, I had the strangest dream…I feel like death, why do I feel?....oh yeah?” Aus remembered herself at the party. She opened her eyes, looking at her bed, only finding herself. She didn’t know why, but she had this strange dream that he was there. “You drank a lot. Like I mean a lot. Im surprised you weren’t bent over the toilet all night” Rose said, smiling.

                “Ugh, please close my window cover, I don’t want to be alive today, please….” Aus groaned, covering her head with her pillow. “So, you and Poe were dancing, having a good time, and then you guys disappeared…and now you’re naked,” Rose curiously asked, a huge smile on her face. Aus could feel the unease that Rey was letting off, it was making her sad.

                “Nothing happened, I was having a bad night and drank way to much, I don’t like Poe like that…uuuuggghhhh” Aus said, trying to end the conversation. Feeling Reys embarrassment Aus added “Don’t worry, secrets safe with us, but your emotions are making me nauseous.” Rose and Rey glanced at each other, forgetting that Aus could feel the emotions of others. “Well, are you going to stay in bed all day? You should probably eat something?” Rose spoke up.

                Aus rolled over, “Im going to die here today, and never drink that shit again”. Rose and Rey giggled, then left her quarters. Aus laid there a little while longer, debating her next course of action. She decided on going back to sleep, forever. Before she drifted off again, her eyes snapped open, “Oh Gods!” she spoke aloud. She remembered most of her night after the party…coming back and seeing Ben in her bed, trying to make him…’oh Gods’ she thought…she felt embarrassment and the sickness rise within her.

                Aus Ran to the bathroom and let it out in the toilet. She let out all kinds of noises and her body emptied itself. She was never drinking again for sooo many reasons. As she sat there, unsure if her body was done, she couldn’t stop thinking about what she remembered.

She remembered trying to get him to be with her, then she remembered him not wanting to. ‘What is wrong with you? He doesn’t want you, he will never be what you want, you will never be what he wants, you will never have what you ache for, just accept it, now’ the voice in her head kept repeating over and over. “No more” she said aloud and crawled back into bed.

               ----------

Kylo woke and was not surprised to find her gone from him. Her last words to him were of a mixture of anger and heartbreak, ‘foolish girl, how could she think she loves a monster…’ he thought. Kylo dressed for the day and went on with his normal duties as Supreme Leader. Coordinating with leaders, arms dealers, his military, etc. Nothing will get in the way of his mission.

Though, no matter how he tried, his thoughts always went back to her words, her confession ‘like I love you’. ‘Shes an unnecessary distraction. She does not love you, nor does she really want you, she wants someone you will never be nor can ever be. She is tempting you with the light you tried so hard to suppress, it’s a trick,’ the darkness hissed around in his head. “No more” he said aloud to himself, no higher than a whisper, as he continued to stare out the giant viewport on the bridge.


	22. Fly me to the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“Ready to fly today?” Poe grinned. It had been several weeks since the wedding party, all had been forgotten and moved on from. Aus hadn’t seen or felt Kylo since that night, but she was relieved. She knew she couldn’t live that way, knowing that one day they would have to fight each other, kill…She didn’t want to think of it, but she knew she also had to figure out a way to keep her mind focused on the Resistance and helping to end this war.

Poe and Aus had been flying regularly the last week. She thoroughly enjoyed being above it all. Though the Fighters they have been using are not the greatest, they were new to them but no where near new. They constantly needed work, but it was getting to be fewer and fewer in between fixes and repairs.

                Rey joined them today. She’s an amazing pilot. Rey always seemed to know how to fly anything, as well as repair. Aus envied her abilities. Though Aus had been learning quickly about repairs and mechanics, she pales in comparison to the Jakku girl. Both Rey and Rose had been helping Aus get her baring’s underneath the belly of the flying beasts, and it had been a great time.

                Today, Rey, Poe and Aus ran a few of the “newer” models around the planet, testing out some new technology for speed that they had incorporated into the systems engines. “WHoaa!” Rey and Aus yelled over the comms. Poe just laughed them off, knowing the power of the new tech and loving every second.

                Once they returned to the hanger, the three split ways. Rey went right to work on the x-wing she was just piloting and Poe went off to find Leia. Aus grabbed some food and headed to her rooms. She busted open one of the Jedi texts and started reading again. Several hours into reading, Aus was disturbed with a knock at the door.

                “Come in,” she said, knowing who it was on the other side. Reys emotions were loud as she entered the room. Nervous, unsure, tired and scared. Aus wasn’t sure what she would have been scared for though.

                “Today was great! I love flying, it’s a shame that I only get to do it because we are at war” Rey said as she sat. “Yeah, that is the one major side effect to the fun we get to do sometimes. Whats on your mind Rey?” Aus asked, closing the book she was reading. “Oh! Im sorry, I interrupted you, I can come back later!” Rey freaked out, jumping out of her chair. “Nope, sit. Ive been reading for hours, and im crosseyed. Time to take a break anyway, please sit and chat with me, I could use it,” Aus responded, trying to keep her friend near.

                Rey sat again, fidgeting. They spoke a little about flying, mechanics, even the sabre Aus had been working on with their help, but Aus couldn’t shake the feeling that Rey wanted to talk about something else. “Rey, alright, whats up? I know theres something, come on” Aus jested to her friend.

                She sat in silence, back straight, face stone, trying to come off as confident. Rey bowed her head then looked back to Aus. “I don’t know how too….I don’t know what to say or how this goes…” Rey hesitated. She hunched and looked around the room, “Aus, I have weird feelings for Poe. I want to tell him but I am afraid he doesn’t have these weird feeling like I do. Its not the same feelings I have for Rose, Finn or you. When I see him I want to…kiss him. Like I see Finn and Rose doing, what do I do?” Rey stressed outward.

                Aus smiled to her friend, “why didn’t you go to Rose with this? She is way more suited to answer these things than I am,” She finished. Rey looked unsure again before she spoke, “Rose is always so positive, I love her, but I don’t think that she would tell me if Poe didn’t feel the same about me or….” She wondered off.

                It took Aus a moment, but she now knew, “oooh! You want to know what Poe feels around you before you tell him? Or kiss him or whatever?” Reys cheeks reddened fast underneath her freckles. Embarrassment seeped from her like an open wound. Aus smiled again, “Rey, Poe does like you. More now too. Though I wont enter his mind, his emotions change around you and he really enjoys his time with you. I don’t think you’d should worry…He needs a kiss.”

                Both girls giggled as they looked at each other. Once the giggling toned down a little, they began to talk about Reys feelings for Poe a little more. She wanted to make sure it was what she thought before attempting to do anything with him. But in the end, Aus was sure that they could be happy, that Rey would be successful. Rey was terrified about all this, Poe being the first person she had this feeling about after getting to know him, she also felt like she could do it.

                Aus wrapped herself up in her blanket as rey wrapped herself up in a spare. They spoke about the wedding and what strangeness that was. They talked more about mechanics, which Aus had questions for. After about 2 hours of chatting, it got a little quiet. Rey started radiating curiosity again. “when you were in the order, did you…have feelings for anyone? I know that you weren’t allowed to, but…I also know that Finn is the most caring person I know, and if you saved him that means that you guys weren’t soulless drones...”

                Aus’ heart slowed at her question. “I did. And we cared for each other in a weird way I guess. All of us troopers were like brothers and sisters. Didn’t always see eye to eye, but watched out for each other, mostly. I’m assuming that’s what brothers and sisters do,” Aus replied.

                Rey didn’t look satisfied with her answer so she pushed a little further, “I never thought that of storm troopers that way til I met you and Finn. But…was there someone like I feel about Poe? OR Rose and Finn feel about each other?” the look on Aus’ face was enough to make Rey regret her question, “Im sorry, its none of my business.”

                “Ben, his name was Ben.” Aus spoke softly. Rey froze in her place and listened. “He was someone I had those feelings for. I thought about him all the time. When we were around each other it was like a wildfire. I dreamt of him before I met him, it was the craziest thing. He was beautiful, and even though he had a temper and could be completely unstable, he was the nicest person to me, treated me like I was someone, when no one else did.”

                “Had? Where is he now?” Rey asked, so engrossed in her story. Aus smiled with sadness “He’s gone now.” Reys face fell into a deep heartbreak, but Aus followed up “I know he is gone, but sometimes I like to imagine that he is out there. Somewhere still in the Galaxy looking for me, waiting until we can unite. Make both our aches and dreams come true…It’s a beautiful thought, but one that I don’t even think ill get in the afterlife. But its ok, he’s there, in my memories and in my heart.” She finished, looking out her window to the nights sky.

                Rey shed a single tear, wiping it from her cheek, “That’s terrible, im soo sorry” she sniffled out. “Its ok, really. We had…moments that are worth a lifetime, even though every meet we had ended in knowing we would never get to be,” Aus replied. Trying to reassure Rey that she did nothing wrong, Aus changed the subject, “So, when you kiss Poe, know that it could end your world as you know it. HA HA. You may never look back”.

                Rey let out a little giggle, “well, its really late, I should be getting to bed. Thank you so much for your help, I think….i think I know what I am going to do” She said. Aus smiled a happy smile this time, rooting for her friend. Rey stopped at the door and returned her gaze to Aus, “I truly believe you and your Ben will be reunited, soulmates will always be together in the end, even I know that. At least they always do in the stories,” And Rey exited.

                “Leia!” Rey said, as she turned around. Aus eyes opened in shock, hoping the woman didn’t just hear what Rey had said. Rey left as Leia entered her room. “Hello, Aus. Am I disturbing you?” She asked as she entered. Aus shook her head and offered Leia a seat.

                Leia had come to check in on her progress with her sabre as well as the texts. For the second time tonight Aus had to talk about x-wings and mechanics, but she enjoyed the sense of calm Leia always let off. “Aus. I came tonight to tell you personally before you heard from Poe or perhaps with the rest of the Resistance tomorrow. The Order has attacked Endor, wiping out half its scarce population. They received word we were there in an old base or being hidden away by some of the small villages.” Leia finished looking to Aus, searching her face.

                Aus should have felt anger, rage. She did, but it was nothing in comparison to the reality she felt and the shame. She closed her eyes, lowered her head and exhaled, ‘damn it Ben…’ she thought.

                “We are running out of time, are you sure about this information?” Aus asked as she returned to meet Leias face. Leia nodded, and waited in silence. “what do you want to do?” Aus asked her. Leia told her that they weren’t strong enough just yet, that they would in due time make their presence known once again, they just didn’t have what they needed yet.

                Leia excused herself, but stilled in the doorway, staring into the corridor ahead of her. She returned her gaze to Aus, seeing the young woman with her face lost in a thought that only tore her apart. Leia knew that Ben was gone too. And now there were 2 women with saddened hearts laced with rage and covered in shame, over the same soul. but knew all to well not to open that door. Leia left the room and continued to her own quarters.

                Leia had been pleased Aus decided to stay with them, she had grown very fond of the girl. Enjoying their conversations, admiring her fighting skills and training of the Resistance members in combat and helping anywhere she can, keeping herself busy and always learning. Leia knew Aus would never talk about it, though Leia was very curious of the monster that used to be her son. She also knew that if there was something important Aus knew that would help the Rebels in this war, Aus would have offered it up.

                Leia didn’t know the extent of the relationship Aus shared with Kylo, she wondered and knew what she was told and never pushed the issue. Leia didn’t often give herself enough time to entertain non-strategic thoughts or fantasize, so many terrible things have happened, but she thought to herself, once or twice that she would to have loved Aus as a daughter, and even wife to Ben. A tear formed in her eyes and she pushed the thought almost immediately. ‘How did it ever come to all this?’ she thought last before her shutting her eyes for the night.


	23. Kylo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

 “I don’t want to see you” was the last thing she said to him when the bond slipped open a month ago. It had been 6 months since that day on Crait. That day he knelt down looking up to her while she stared down to him from the Falcon. Both in disbelief, disappointment and hurt. Her done with him, but hearts still bleeding. Him going over everything that had just happened, Lukes projection and ANOTHER betrayal. So enraged, Kylo didn’t see past Luke’s youth and the blue saber that had just been destroyed by the traitor, the Jedi.

Kylo didn’t want to think about that day, the day he asked her to rule with him. He told himself he didn’t love her, but that he desired her, wanted her, NEEDED her, and maybe even cared for her, but over everything she was a strong ally. Her strength, her power…her beauty..and maybe even her light, though he’d never admit it to anyone, let alone admit to himself. But when the bond slipped open a month ago and that familiar thrumming moved around his body, Kylo was almost knocked off his feet.

 Itd been months since their last real interaction, the one that made him wonder… Their relationship or whatever it was had changed in so many ways since Crait. Before, He had left her to die, she forgave him. He had tried to kill her when she attacked him in Snokes throne room, and she seemed to forgive him. And then tried to wipe out the rest of the Resistance knowing she was in with them. He had set out to destroy her after she rejected him. But somehow even after she found him in her dreams and was so furious, she still eventually came around to him and opened herself to him. He knew he didn’t deserve her, but with all that, for a moment, he thought maybe he could leave, and go somewhere, anywhere with her.

His breath hitched as he searched around, looking for her as the thrumming got louder and more focused. He hated her, hated that she declined his earnest offer, hated that she didn’t want him, just like everyone else. And worse, she wanted him to be someone he couldn’t be! Yet he couldn’t stop himself from searching for her as soon as he felt her.

Kylos eyes landed on her, laying underneath something she was working on. Was she working on fighters? Or the Fal…No, he wont think about that junk. It didn’t matter, she was there. Aus laid there in overalls, covered in grease and sweat, looking up to the machine she was working on. Kylo didn’t know what to say, he wanted to lash out, strike, hate, but all he could do was curiously stare at her for a brief second before she growled “I don’t want to see you” and slammed the bond shut.

Until that moment, Kylo felt suffocated by his hatred for her, the Resistance, the jedi, it all. The Darkness had devoured him completely since he decided “no more”. He allowed it to completely take over him after the night they slept in each others arms, to drive him forward on his mission, to fill the void. But the sheer graze of her power, her force signature, her scent hit him and he just wanted to offer her the galaxy all over again…knowing she would turn him down again and again, but he wants it, soo bad.

She was gone again, and he was left there staring at his wall. Alone. Full of distain and full of the darkness. In one way he was at the slightest of ease just being exposed to her again, it was like being able to breathe again for a moment in time, but in everything else, his hatred only grew, knowing he will never have her and the resistance still existed.

                Sleep doesn’t come easy for the Supreme Leader. More often than not, Kylo doesn’t sleep. Nightmares haunt him more than ever. If hes not dreaming of Snokes torture, or Snoke figuring out a way to come back to him as some sort of force ghost, then he’s dreaming of killing his fath….Han Solo. But the worst dreams are the ones where she’s there, looking up at him, pleading with him to come with her.

“Ben” a trembling whisper falling from her lips, begging him not to do it, then...he does. He ignites the saber into her heart while Snoke watches. Kylo wakes in a sweat induced panics, searching his hands for the saber that pierced her heart. He hates her, he hates the traitor, the wanna be Jedi, why does he hate the idea of killing her even more? He wants her dead, itd be easier. After seeing her though, he was privy to the longest night sleep he had had in almost 3 months, the most rested. He dreamt of no death, only a life far from here, with her.

The First Order operations have been running smoothly. More systems have been aiding the Order and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren in their conquest for the galaxy. The Supremacy is still undergoing repairs and the Finalizer has been sufficient in heading the fleet. He still holds hatred for Hux, but has managed to find him very useful over the past several months. Kylo has everything he sought after, and more than likely in less than a year, he WILL have everything he worked so hard for, to finish what Darth Vader had started. But when she slipped through it only reminded him of the nothingness, the emptiness and the void that he’s been trying so hard to fill.

                Kylo walked onto the bridge of the Finalizer, went straight to the viewing window and stared out into the passing space. He looked out knowing the Order will come to victory in the end. The Resistance is still crippled and hasn’t shown themselves for some time now, but they were out there still, and so was she.


	24. Aus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“I don’t want to see you!” was the last thing she said to him when the bond slipped opened. It had been 6 months and she never wanted to see him again until she had to, until she had to fight him one last time. Aus hated thinking about him, she hated that he chose the Dark side over doing the right thing, over her. She didn’t love him, but she cared for him, deeply, or so she told herself. She knew he was tortured internally, the conflict was so strong. But she had never been so wrong. He never was going to choose the right, he was never going to choose her.

He just wanted power, her power. Nothing more. Those force bond moments they had, she really believed they had grown close and that he would truly turn. But instead she had her heart ripped out from her chest and was left bleeding, and ashamed. And even worse, she let him in **again** after Crait.

Aus felt the thrumming swirling through her body when she was working on one of the x-wings. ‘No, no!’ she thought with panic. She tried to keep the bond shut before it opened completely. ‘Why was it opening?  Was he trying to reach her? She’d never tell him anything, what was the point?’. She tried to ignore it, but it opened, and she could feel him. She forced herself not to look at him, in fear it would cause such anger? Or just sadness? Aus didn’t want to feel anything for this _man_ again, so she continued working on the fighter. The thoughts of last time they were together started to creep into her mind, him holding her while she was drunk, them falling asleep together, ‘NO!’ she thought. “I don’t want to see you” she said sternly, forcing all emotion from her voice.

The bond only lasted for a few moments but she felt him. His surprise. His anger. His curiosity. His longing and his power brushing up against hers. When the bond closed, she stopped working and let of a sigh of relief. She didn’t hate him. Whatever they had, she had to tell herself it was gone, but….as much as she didn’t want to admit to herself, she felt like the first time in months, she felt like she could breathe again.

Aus loves the people she has come to call family. Finn, the brother she never had. Rey and Rose the sisters and best friends she never had and then there was Poe, the cocky overprotective and brother she never wanted. They were so wonderful, they made her feel so loved and wanted. Leia and Aus had become so close as well, Aus thinks of her as a mother she would never know. She was surrounded by good people, fighting for what was right and the same people she plays cards with every couple of nights. The Order is still out there ruining the galaxy, but for the first time in her life, she had something, people to truly fight for.

Aus stopped taking the dream suppressants. When she slept, she had nightmares mostly. Monsters in the dark, surrounded by fire. Watching the people she loved be destroyed. And often she dreams of the throne room, when Ben wouldn’t come with her and would wake with tears. As the months passed though, the nightmares had subsided and the rest had been easier. That night when the bond opened after so long, she couldn’t sleep. Aus tossed and turned all night, until when she finally did succumb to sleep, it was the best sleep she had in so long. That night, when she dreamt, there was no death, only him.

The Resistance has been rebuilding since Crait. It wasn’t easy. After Aus loaded the Falcon with the remaining Rebels, Leia had rerouted them to another hidden and long forgotten rebel base from the Empire days. Over the next several months, Resistance sympathizers came out of the wood works at Leia’s call. Slowly they came. Slowly Aus and the others began their rebuild.

Aus spends the days working on machines throughout the base as well as helping with the X-Wings, reading the Jedi texts and practicing with her newly built saber. The saber was difficult to figure out. The Kyber crystal was cracked in half and the parts were a bit more difficult to figure how to put it back together. It took months. Months of reading, months of going to small villages here and there for resistance machine parts as well as side trips for smaller parts. Rose and Rey helped with some of the configuring but it was only when Aus meditated, asked the force, Luke, anyone for help is when she would have a break through and was able to add more to her saber until finally, finishing it.

Its been a month since the bond last opened. She wanted to finally have her fight and end this war, end the darkness that is him, but she didn’t hate him. Why? It didn’t matter, whatever they had was gone. She knew that. There was no light left in Kylo Ren. But…when the bond opened, hatred did not seep through. No Anger either. And for a brief moment, she swore she felt his light creep in. “Just my mind playing tricks on me” she whispered and shook the thought from her head.

She walked out of the base and into the jungle. There is a clearing she likes to visit that no one knows of. Aus goes there to be alone, to think and to just look up to the stars. Tonight she just sat on a boulder over looking the pond, and stared in the starry night sky. Knowing the Order was out there still, stronger than ever and not showing any signs of stopping. They were out there, and so was he.


	25. If tomorrow never comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“Oh Kriff!!!” Aus yelled dodging the blaster bolts from 2 Minkos bounty hunters shooting at her. The bounty hunters chased after Aus when one of the hunters recognized her in the market. “Kriff Kriff fucking Kriff!” she said out loud, huffing and puffing. Aus ran into what looked like a forest of dead trees, hoping to lose them amongst the decay. She could still hear them behind her, shooting, yelling, and running. Her head darted from side to side looking for a path to follow. She reached for the communicator in her pocket to call out to the resistance for extraction. Aus pressed the button, and everything went black.

                It was dark and a sharp pain hit the side of her body. Aus opened her eyes and looked around, only to find more darkness. Above her was an opening, the hole she fell through. “uuugghh” she moaned out. She laid there, unable to move her body. The pain shot through her like knives. She managed to move her hand around in the dirt beneath her, looking for the communicator.

She found her saber instead. Igniting it she used it to light the room. It was a cavern, no outlets except the hole at least 50 feet above her. Rotten roots from decaying trees weaving through the caverns walls, incasing the cavern like a tomb. Normally the climb would be nothing, but in her current condition she knew she wasn’t going anywhere, at least for awhile.

Continuing her limited search around the cavern, she attempted to look at her wounds. Scratches and bruises were already showing on her arms and legs. She felt so weak. She attempted to roll herself from her side to her back. “Fucking kriffing fuck!” she seethed out grasping her side as she succeeded in her attempt. She looked down to where the pain came from, blood oozing from an open wound.

When she’d fallen though the rotting ground, she landed on a jagged rock, piercing her side. “Great” she spoke aloud to no one. She rolled onto her back and closed her eyes, taking in a large breath. When she reopened her eyes, she stared up to the hole above her and straight through to the blackened sky. The stars were barely visible, but it was an indicator that she had been down there for a few hours, it was mid-day when she fell. The communicator was broken and she was bleeding out, at least the stars would be the last thing she saw.

As the thrumming happened he frantically looked up from his data pad. He looked around for her, only moving his eyes, waiting to feel her power, but it was so faint, it felt so far away. She finally came into view and Kylo stopped breathing. The moonlight and a hint of blue flickered on her face, but she was surrounded by darkness. He fought the urge to face her. He fought the urge to speak to her. He wanted to strike her down, yell at her, break her, like she did him. Instead he stared at his datapad, reading.

She was asleep, on her side now. Dirt covered her face as well as the rest of her body. What heap of crap base did the resistance find this time? Why was she so faint? Was it due to them no longer being, whatever it was they were? Or weren’t? Friends? No, she would never think that of him, and Kylo Ren didn’t have friends, only allies. A few more moments passed by, she did not wake and the bond did not disappear. Kylos curiosity got the best of him and he turned to look her over better. He pondered her for a second, looking her up and down. What is that? Kylo saw the pool of blood beneath her.

 “Ben?” a faint voice called from the body before him. “No, you cant be him. I must be hallucinating already.” Aus whispered aloud.

“why would you be hallucinating?” Kylo couldn’t help himself, as he returned to the datapad.

“See, if you were really here, or, kind of here? you would feel it.” Her body and voice weak. Not opening her eyes. “I feel you though, maybe you are here, I guess it doesn’t matter”

                Kylo continued his focus on the datapad in his hand, trying to avoid engaging her, but finding it difficult.

                “Its ok Kylo, in a way, im just happy im not alone right now, even if it is you, my sworn enemy” Aus let out a soft giggle.

                “Are you reading mission reports or inventory?” she asked, finally opening her eyes, she found him about 15 ft from where she was laying.

                Kylo looked to her, “Inventory, why?”

                Aus smiled slightly, “I swear you forget I used to be one of you. Tell me what it says?”

                “You want me to read the inventory report to you?” confusion leaked through the bond from kylo to aus. She found this amusing.

                “please? It would be nice just to hear your voice for awhile. When its not spitting out hate and yelling, it can be very hypnotic and reminds me of…when we were friends??, once upon time” She said softly. Aus was so tired. Kylo could feel it, he knew she didn’t have long.

A friend? Is that what she thought they were back when they were training? HA! Kylo Ren has no friends…Why would he give her anything? She was the traitor, she deserves nothing. But She _did_ think of him that way, and what they shared after crait? Even more intimate than when she was on the Island… Kylo wanted to fight it, fight her, tell her she was lying, they were never friends, but he knew that in what little was left of his heart, she was telling him the truth, she even told him once, she loved him. So he read the list out loud for a few minutes, indulging her.

Feeling her delight through the bond, he continued, almost enjoying the feeling she was giving off. It would be so easy to let her die, how cruel was he that someone who was happy to see him, was enjoying his company right now, who always seemed to forgive him, how he would let them die because it would be easy and further his cause, she would no longer be around and he would have zero weakness.

“Supreme Leader isnt as exciting and fulfilling as much as you thought, Huh?”  she broke his reading and train of thought.

                “What do you think you know, Jedi?” Kylo spat out, breaking his soothing tone from before.

Aus ignored his ridiculous question, she was dying, this was not the last thing she wanted, “oh shusshhh. Always so quick to anger. You should be happy, you finally have all you wanted. You are Supreme leader. You have the galaxy at your feet. You have the Largest military, you defeated the Resistance and everyone else. You have everything, and now, your enemy, the Jedi you want dead, is dying. You should be enjoying this.”

Kylo thought he should too, he knew he should, but couldn’t shake the urge to run to her, to…save her? In that same moment, she slipped out of consciousness.

The datapad dropped to the floor and shattered as he ran to her side. He couldn’t take it anymore, “Aus! What…where are you? What happened? Wake back up!” he shouted, kneeling down to look her over closer. He ripped the gloves from his hands and placed them just above her abdomen trying to find exactly where she was hurt. Her force signature was fading slowly but was enough for him to panic.

He was so angry with himself for letting it go on, trying to convince himself to let her die. At this moment, Kylo Ren didn’t care that she was his “enemy” or that they were no longer anything to each other, all he knew was that the angel of his sleepless nights, the only creature that ever thought HE could be saved and was worth saving, be anything other than the monster everyone saw him as, was here in front of him, dying and he HAD to help her.

“Ben?…Im…how did you find me?….” She whispered confused somewhat groggily out to him. Aus felt happiness wash over herself as she saw him, felt him, but he only felt like fear. She looked to his beautiful face that was frantically searching, probably trying to find the source of her bleeding. Thinking back to ach-to when he was this close and they touched hands, and they kissed. He was close now and she wanted nothing more than to reach out to him again, to touch the face she thought she had to be done with.

Kylo found the gash on her side. She had removed one of her arm bands to pack it, but it didn’t seem to be doing a whole lot. He moved his hands over the wound, petrified he would go through her, unable to stop begging the force to let him be able to touch her, just to help. He pressed his hand to her wound and she gasped. To His relief that he could do this was everything. She winced but never broke her concentration on his face.

Kylo couldn’t stop staring at the wound. “They are beautiful, aren’t they?” Aus spoke, shifting her eyes to the night sky. “huh?” Kylos eyes shot up to her face, his face unable to hide the worry he was feeling. Aus had turned her head back and was staring up to the stars. He couldn’t see what she was seeing, but he could feel her ease, the ease of what she was looking at and the ease of him being there for her. “Aus, where…” Kylo tried to speak, but she was gone.    

He stared at his empty, bloody hands as he knelt on the floor of his office. When he felt the thrumming of the force bond, kylo was on the bridge of the Finalizer staring out the viewing window thinking of her. He quickly removed himself and went to his office off the bridge. He grabbed a data pad from his desk to appear as if he was busy and unwilling to interact with the traitor. Until he felt her, or the lack of her force presence. He clinched his fists in rage at the disbelief of the time _he_ wasted, she was gone again and this time she was dying and he could have helped but his pride and ambition got in the way, again. He slammed his fists into the durasteel below him and begged the force to bring her back to him… Nothing…. Kylo exhaled after a few minutes, grabbed his gloves and slipped them back on over his blood stained his skin.

When he vanished, Aus felt both happy and sad. She felt joy in seeing him again and was not afraid to tell herself this, why lie? ‘If this was the end, why lie to myself?’ she thought. But that sadness and emptiness that came with his not being there almost hurt more than the wound that was killing her. She tried to keep her eyes open, but her body was ready for sleep.


	26. Star Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“I never would have taken your hand into the darkness….” she whispered when Kylo came into sight. He ran to her again, fresh bandages next to him. It had been 7 hours since their last connection. He wanted to be ready in case they were connected again. Kylo sat in his rooms, waiting. Hoping. “I know,” he responded, almost ignoring her words, only focused on her wound. He removed her make shift bandage and again, begged the force to just let him be allowed to dress her wound with his bandages.

He pressed the bandages to her, but they were unusable. “fuck!!” he yelled, throwing them to the side of him. He huffed above her, unsure of what to do now. “But I did think about it for a moment, it was fleeting, but I did. I considered taking your hand,” she uncontrollably let out. Kylo stopped, looked her in the eye, considering her words, but leaving them to delirium, “tell me where you are or you WILL die, Aus!” he hissed.

Aus ignored him for now as he liked to do to her comments or questions. “Did you ever for a second…in its smallest measurement..consider me?...taking mine?” she breathed out. Kylo didn’t react to her, but his thoughts veered to her words instantly. “I dreamt of you once” she said, closing her eyes, but looking to him underneath the lids. “After I told you not to come back…you weren’t a nightmare, a monster, or kylo ren. You….were just Ben. I slept so well that night.” Aus began to start showing signs of delirium from blood loss. Kylo looked at her wanting to know and wanting to tell her that he did for just a fleeting moment as well, considered her…hand, but couldn’t break away his current train of thought, “You’re losing too much blood Jedi, tell me where I can find you!” he hissed again.

“I’m not going to tell you, Kylo Ben…ha haha, so I can be your prisoner, I wont tell you where the resibels are..” Aus giggled as she spoke and realized her verbal mistakes. Kylo was angry and furious, this isn’t a time for games. “Aus…” swallowing his anger and letting out a whisper, “please? Let me help you”. Aus snapped out of her attention at his words, his voice, he was sincere, no malice, no tricks

“I just want to help you…Aus, let me? Please..” he said, leaning down into her ear.

“Vashon. I was in the..Minkos village. I was…..recognized and chased in to a dead forest. I fell under a rotten tree. I..dont know where I am….im sorry, Ben.”

 “Im here Aus, I will find you. Don’t worry.”

Ben went to pull away, but Aus caught his arm, “stay, please? I don’t want to be alone”. Kylo felt the urge to ignore her and run to his shuttle, but even more of an urge to just stay and hold her. Would she let him hold her? Aus reached for his face, but was to weak to raise her arm, so she reached for his hand instead and he grabbed it as if HIS life depended on it. Kylo sat next to her, holding onto her until the bond closed again.

When she was gone, Kylo jumped to his feet and ran to the comm next to his door, “prepare my ship at once! Food, clothes, medical supplies”. He ran to the hanger where his command shuttle sat in wait. Once Kylo reached his command shuttle, he knew he should say something to Hux and command so he was not followed. How would he explain to them he was going to save the Jedi traitor he swore to destroy?

”General Hux, I have been contacted by my personal informant on possible whereabouts of the remaining resistance as well as a possible strong supporter of the Order who may be willing to financially. I am going to meet the informant and investigate myself and am NOT to be disturbed. Understood, General?” Kylo awaited the Generals response while firing up the command shuttle, charting his way to Vashon. “Supreme Leader, we should know where you are going, we should be sending our spies to meet this informant, it could be a trap” Hux spit out over the comm. Kylos blood boiled just at the sound of his questioning. “General, are you questioning my judgement?” kylo spat out. The General hesitated and felt the phantom pains in his neck at the thought of Ren force choking him again,

“Should we continue our current course to Rava’, Supreme leader?”

“Yes General, continue to Rava’ and execute your orders.”

“Very well, sir” Hux sneered.

And off to Vashon he went to save the last Jedi. “Im on my way, just a few hours, please hold on…my distant Star Light…”


	27. What do you say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Aus woke up to the familiar force presence, “Ben?” she looked around as much as she could. Kylo was sitting next to her at the helm of his command shuttle, but he wasn’t really there. “I am almost there, about…” and he was gone again. Aus looked to her saber that was still ignited next to her, the humming from the saber soothed her somehow. As she stared into the light, it seemed it was never day here. Aus thought about her friends, that she may never see them again. She thought of all the things she wanted to do, dreamed of doing and the sadness that she may miss Rose and Finns wedding. She knows Ben is coming but knows he won’t make it. She can feel it.

“Hello, Aus” a familiar voice spoke. It wasn’t Ben. Her eyes flew open and she looked around the cavern. “Luke? Are you really here?” she forced herself to speak. Luke wandered closer to her, he was transparent and blue, He sat next to her, crossed his legs and smiled.

“Im sorry, young Aus. For so many things. I know there is nothing that can be done to change what happened.”

“Why are you here, Master Luke?” Aus looked confused as she stared at the transparent man before her.

“I am here because there has been a shift in the force.”

“I’m dying, that’s probably why” Aus said factly. “you should know that”

Luke looked down at her, but there was only a softness of his face and eyes. She noticed his face was hairless, unlike when she knew him, and his hair was shorter. He was still wrinkled by time, but younger. “Yes. you are, Aus.”

“Ben is coming, to find me. But he won’t make it in time. I believe he means what he says, that he just wants to help me, I told him where I was, I don’t know why.”

“Life and death. The force is an amazing thing, Aus. Trust in the force and know you are cared for.”

Aus tried to focus on Luke but couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer,”im so tired, Master Luke. Will you stay with me for a while?” Her voice drifting off. Luke smiled, “I am always with you, Aus. But I will stay until I cant anymore”. Aus smiled faintly as she drifted to sleep. Luke did as he promised and stayed with her as long as he could…he stayed until he felt the worried darkness coming for her. “its going to be a really long road, young Aus. You will be ok.” Then Luke was gone. 

Flashes of black and a deep voice. That’s all she remembers when she opens her eyes. Her scenery was different this time. Instead of a blue lit dirt wall with rotting roots crawling down it, she was surrounded by durasteel and a dim white light. ‘Where?....Oh my God! The Order!’ she yelled out. She looked down at her body, there were clean bandages all over her, She was in her breast band and pants. Aus looked around, trying to find something, someone, any indication of where she was. Did Ben find her and already turn her into the Order? It wouldn’t surprise her. She tried to sit up, but the pain shot through her sharply. She was groggy and feeling out of sorts.

“You almost died being foolish, you know that?!” a deep, haunting voice came in from the doorway. The voice both thrilled and frightened her, but she did not fear its source. She didn’t speak, only looked in Kylos direction. They stared at one another for a moment, until Kylo walked to her bedside. He was irritated and slightly huffing when he looked over her monitor and then at her bandages.

Aus stared at the side of his face as his hair fell over it. She wasn’t sure if it was the drugs, the almost dying or the fact that he was here, for real and they were alone and he seemed to be helping her, so without hesitation she reached out and touched his face. Kylo froze immediately. He felt her confusion and curiosity, but he didn’t think that would mean that she would touch him, hold him. He allowed himself a weak moment and leaned into her hand. Feeling the waves of light and momentary adoration flow through her to him.

Then without thought, Aus grabbed him with her other hand and with all her might, pulled him to her, mouths embracing each other. She was surprised, and he was surprised, but he wanted it. The pain shot through her, but she didn’t care, in this moment, she was so happy to see him, to feel him, to kiss him. He grabbed the back of her head, pressing her into him hard. They opened their mouths and pressed their tongues together, fighting one another. The kiss was brief until his mind started again “NO!” he pulled away. Aus recoiled her hands back to her side and cautiously looked to him as he turned away. “Your smaller wounds and bruises are healing fine. The large gash in your side will take much longer. Should be a few days until you are fully healed” he said, looking to the wall, then he started to walk away.

“Wait! How long have I been here? Where is here?” she asked quickly before he reached the door. Kylo stopped and turned back to her, “I found you about 9 hours ago. You are aboard my command Ship, in the medbay.” She knew that much being a stormtrooper for all her life, “Are we on course somewhere? To meet with the Order?” she responded firmly. Kylo expected as much, why did he think that she would think any different of him. He went to help her, isn’t that good enough? “We are, currently stationary. Your large wound is to severe, the jolts from hyper jump would cause more damage. You are healing quickly, that is not saying much, sense you were pretty much dead when I found you”.

Aus looked to her hands, and back to him, hesitating to ask what she really wants to know, but looking instead for anything else to say, “Will we be stationary until im healed and remain a target in open space?”. Kylo rolled his eyes and walked away. Aus closed her eyes, feeling exhausted, “Ben, I know somewhere we can go, its nearby, I think. And no, before you ask, it is not the Resistance. It’s safe. No technology. No real inhabitants and scanners can’t penetrate the planet’s atmosphere and no one knows it exists…well almost no one. That is if you are so inclined not to be found by unfriendlies.”

Kylo considered her for a moment and remained silent for a few more. “where?” he asked annoyed. Rey told him the coordinates to Ach-to and said no more. Kylo went to the helm and put them in. Only 9 hours from where they were with no hyperjump. It was indeed a better option than staying in their current location, they could be seen and reported and the last thing Kylo needed, was Hux knowing where he was. “fine” he let out to no one, as he punched in the coordinates. Kylo stared out the viewing window as he sat in the pilots’ chair when they started their journey to Ach-To.


	28. Turn on the Radio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

A few hours passed and Kylo finally sat back and took a deep breath as he set the ship to auto pilot. He raised a hand to the cheek, then slowly moved his fingers to his lips where the traitor had touched only hours before. Kylo couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes and trying to feel the presence of her hand, the heat of their kiss. She kissed him, after everything that has happened, everything hes done, she kissed him… AGAIN.

Why was he so quick to reject her? He knows why, all those years of Snoke in his head, knowing his thoughts, feelings, it was a reflex. He couldn’t risk her. He couldn’t risk that she was impaired either. But now…Now Snoke was gone. He is the only one in his head now. Maybe he could...why did she touch him, kiss him? So soft, so gentle… “no” he growled out to himself. ‘She was dying, I was her only hope to live, if she could have called the resistance, she would have. I was nothing but a second choice.’ He thought to himelf. ‘Remember your place’ a voice ran through his head ‘she will never choose you, you are darkness. You are a monster, the thing of her nightmares, a destroyer’.

Kylo walked into medbay to find Aus sleeping, He tried to be passive of her, checking on her wounds while she slept, still mauling over the voice in his head. “…Ben…” Aus gasped, no higher than that of a whisper. Kylo’s brown eyes snapped to hers immediately. She was still asleep, was she dreaming? Of him? No. Kylo continued his inspection of her wounds, noticing old scars in the near area. Her skin was so soft under his fingertips. Her breath hitched but still she remained asleep. He looked at her face, finger tips still on her skin. He replaced the bandage not removing his eyes from her face, he almost walked away but stopped when she gasped again.

She was so beautiful. He wanted so much to touch her face, to keep touching her, only if it meant changing her dressing. This would be over in a few days and … Kylo shook his head, he didn’t want to think of that just yet. He didn’t want to think about when she leaves him again for the Resistance.  Aus started slightly tossing in her sleep, Kylo was unsure of how to proceed. She looked so uneasy now, it was probably him, the monster of her nightmares.

Kylo stepped closer to the head of her bed, caution filled his every move. He knelt beside her and reached out his hand, hovering just over her head. He was terrified. What if she woke? Kylo swallowed his fear and placed his hand on the top of her head and began softly stroking her hair. Aus’ tossing seized immediately as she began to calm and softly moan. The sound she made rushed Bens heart, his pulse quickened, and his throat tightened. Every doubtful thought he had in the hours prior were null and void.  “b..en?” she whispered again. Fearing she may wake, Ben leaned in closer and whispered back, “shhh, Star Light….sleep, sweetheart”.

                Aus woke up a few hours later, almost forgetting where she was, until she felt him in the other room. She felt rested.

‘ ** _She had dreamt of a far away place, and a familiar face. The sky was blue, the air warm and sweet with a cool breeze. The water crashing against the shore. And walking up to her was a tall, broad shouldered, dark haired man with the face she would know anywhere. He embraced her and she refused to fight it as he took her mouth with his._**

**_But when he pulled away, he was in a mask, and in all black. And he was grabbing her, hurting her. She tried to be free of him, but he never let go. There was fire everywhere. But as soon as it started it all had stopped and the monster was gone once more. Left in his place was the man from before. He looked to his hands, trembling, then back to her. Ben dropped to his knees and Aus stepped towards him. She rested his head on her belly and wrapped her arms around him._ **

**_Ben raised his hands to her sides and held on to her for dear life. ‘sshhh, Star Light…sleep, sweetheart’ she heard his soothing voice flow through the air. Aus felt life, wanting and love flowing from him to her…and she never had felt so whole._** ’

Aus looked to her wounds again, knowing there was no point. They would be the same as it was a few hours prior. Laying there thinking of their heading, she couldn’t get the fact that she needed to let the Resistance know she was ok. But how can she do that with Ben in the mix? ‘Oh gods, ben. I…’ she brought her hand to her mouth quickly, remembering what else happened a few hours prior. ‘I cant believe I did that!’. Ugh, why does anything involving him have to be so complicated? Aus rolled her eyes and tried focusing on the here and now, hoping Ben wouldn’t bring up her vulnerable moment earlier, it didn’t mean anything…Is what she kept telling herself as she pushed it from her mind.

 She didn’t want to be laying in a bed for the rest of the trip and needed to start moving around. She tried sitting up again, this time she got half way to sitting position before she started trying to muffle her discomfort. Aus let out a large puff of air and slammed back into the bad. ‘Damnit, am I seriously at the mercy of Kylo Ren right now? This is ridiculous.’ She thought to herself as she scoured the room. Her thoughts drifted to the dream she had woken from.

It was the second time she dreamt of him not as Kylo Ren, well, at least the entire time and with it not actually being him invading her dream. It had been so long since she had a real kiss, she had almost forgotten what it was to feel a kiss. The last time that happened for real, it was on the floor of the Finalizer in Training room 13, 6 months ago.  The dream felt so REAL…his proximity, the feeling of his hands. Aus shivered at the thought. Ben was Kylo Ren and Kylo Ren wanted the galaxy and only the galaxy, that is why they cut the bond completely, together. He may have offered her to rule with him, but it wouldn’t be him with her, it would be Kylo Ruling the galaxy and the Jedi by his side, an ally, nothing more. Business.

Kylo felt Aus waking in the next room, he ignored it, continuing his focus on the charts and scans in front of him. He felt her annoyance. He felt her disappointment, then he felt….Kylos head lifted and shifted in her direction immediately. What was she thinking about? Her emotions were a warming, tingling, rising sensation. Kylo felt the rush of blood to his cheeks and down his body. He knew this feeling, what it meant. ‘Is she? Oh, shes aroused’ he thought. Confusion and curiosity flowing through him. But the moment was fleeting and the sensation, emotion, was filled with sadness, slight anger… and emptiness. She must be thinking about him now for sure.

“You should eat now, Jedi” Kylo said, now standing in the doorway. Aus looked to him and acknowledged. He brought food to her and sat in the empty chair against the wall while she ate. She didn’t hesitate to shovel the food into her mouth. Kylo watched her, both fascinated and slightly disgusted by her manners. She was an enigma to him, but he dare never tell her. They just kind of stared at each other off and on for a few minutes before Kylo broke the silence.

“We will break atmosphere in an hour. Then we will go from there.” Kylo didn’t wait for a response before rising to leave. “I need to let the resistance know that I’m alive. They don’t need to know what I’m doing or anything about you. I just need to let them know that I am alive and being cared for.” Aus could feel Kylo tense up and the anger rolling off him, but he did not lash out. “I will let your pack of traitors know you are alive” he hissed through gritted teeth. He turned to leave her, but did not escape her words, “YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE, BEN!...thank you”.

Kylo huffed as he sat at the helm again, he understood that she wanted to let her traitors know she was alright, but it enraged him. She probably doesn’t want the pilot or the stormtrooper to worry. Kylo couldn’t help his jealousy. His fists clenched as he slammed them down onto the station. For all he knew, she was with one of them. Touching, kissing, fuc….. He took a deep breath to calm himself, he didn’t need her feeling his jealousy or anger right now, it wouldn’t help their current situation.

Kylo sent the message off to the Resistance, well….to Leia. The Resistance has long changed their codes since the extraction of information from the dirty pilot. But there is one code that would never change…he didn’t want to think of that now, so he sent of the message off to the general of the Resistance. He encrypted his ships code so the source couldn’t be traced. This was one time he did not want anyone to know who he was.


	29. for my broken heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

On the island, Kylo checked on Aus who was fast asleep. He took this time to explore the nearby outside. He lowered the ramp and walked to the rocking ground below. The seasalt air surrounded him, filling his lungs. It had been so long since he had taken in real, uncirculated air. When was the last time he set foot on a planet that he wasn’t there to destroy? He couldnt remember a time when he was allowed a moment and there was no time for that now. Kylo retreated back to the ship, stopping at the top of the ramp. He raised his hand to the switch to close it, halting, ‘Maybe the fresh air will help her heal’ he told himself. He resettled at the helm and continued busying himself with messages, charts and any thought that was not of the girl in the next room.

Aus eyes flickered open slowly. She smelled the familiar sea air wafting through the medbay. ‘Ach-to? How long had they been there?’ she thought. She had slept for more than half a day at the least, the wound was healed much further now. She forced herself into a sitting position, the pain shot through her, but she pushed. It was slightly more manageable and tired of being in this bed. She sat looking at the floor beneath her, breathing hard, trying to find the strength to stand. After a few moments, she pushed herself onto her feet. Holding onto the bed behind her, Aus stabilized herself.

Waiting out the lightheadedness, Aus found the strength to take a few steps. Her side was aching, but she ignored it as much as she could, pressing it with the palm of her hand. She looked around the room for her clothing, finding it folded neatly on a chair near the door. Throwing on a shirt, she was ready to go. Aus peeked her head out, bracing herself against the wall. She looked around the room and what it opened in to. There was a door right across from the medbay, and to the right opened into the bridge. The ships controls and helm sat underneath the viewing window. In one of the chairs at the helm, was a hunched over body. Ben had fallen asleep and it looked as if maybe having a nightmare. His body was twitching and tensing. She could feel the anger, rage and FEAR rolling off him.

She may not be his biggest fan, but he did save her and so far has made no attempt to kill her or find out where her friends are, so she guessed she could at least do him a small favor, even if he didn’t know it. With little push of her power, Aus sent the light to ease Ben of his nightmare. It surrounded him. He calmed instantly and started snoring. ‘Oh my gods, Kylo Ren snores’ she thought to herself, a slight giggle in her throat. A breeze softly grazed against her cheek distracting from the snoring darksider, she turned, refocusing on its source. The ramp to the ship was down and only seemed to invite.

The rain was pouring now, she could hardly see 20ft in front of her. The sound was intoxicating, the smell even more so. Clutching her side, Aus inched down the ramp. Meeting the stone and mud with her bare feet, Aus let out a sigh of relief. She walked forward a few steps and stopped. Eyes closed, she tilted her head to the sky and let the rain fall on her face. It was both cool and warm. When she was in the Order, she’d seen rain, but never really _saw_ it. Since the Order, Aus has seen few rainy days, but each time she witnessed the rain, she could never find the words, it was captivating. She could feel the power it contained pouring over her body.

“What are you doing!!?” Kylo yelled at her, taking her by the arm. The rain poured on them both. “Come back inside, now!” Kylo yelled again. Aus looked to him, feeling his anger but not fearing it in the slightest. “Have you ever been touched by something so beautiful as the rain, Ben?” She let out, returning her face towards the sky. Kylo was irritated now, he had no time to think of things so trivial as the rain, besides, he had been touched by something far more beautiful and rarer than the rain. At this point, it was either throw her over his shoulder and force her back inside, or try something else. In that moment, he looked to his hand on her arm. Kylo loosened his grip on her, then slid his hand down, taking her hand in his. Her eyes opened and slowly she turned her head to meet his gaze.

The rain poured, so heavy now it was almost like being in a river. Kylo began towards the ship with Aus willingly in tow. But she wasn’t ready to go in, not just yet. She stopped in her spot, tugging against him. He returned his eyes to her, and she just looked at him. Aus stretched out her free hand to Kylo, holding it there. Kylo looked at her hand, knowing what she wanted. Mauling it over, he took her outstretched hand and moved his body to mirror hers.

 She stepped closer to him, never breaking eye contact. They were inches apart, breathing in the same air. Closing her eyes, Aus spoke “Close your eyes, Ben. Tell me you see. Tell me what you feel”. Kylo knew what she meant but he could care less about the rain. At this moment, all he could feel was her, and was truly afraid. “Come on, Ben. Try?” He heard her beg through the harshness of the rain. Ben closed his eyes and tried to focus. ‘She really should be laying down, healing.’ He thought, but he knew better, she was as stubborn as he.

They could feel the force flowing through them so strongly, they both thought they may burst into a million pieces. But they held on and focused.

“Darkness. Death. Decay.” He spoke

“Ben, do you TRY and look for the dark in everything on purpose?”

“this is ridiculous” he said, dropping one of her hands and started his journey back to the ship again. “No”, Aus snapped her hand from his and stood still. Kylo glanced at her then retuned towards the ship. “You don’t always have to live in hate and rage! BEN!” She yelled from where he left her. Kylo stopped and turned towards her, staring down at her from the top of the ramp. “You know nothing, Jedi” he yelled back. Aus shook her head in disbelief. How could he be so stubborn? “You have everything you wanted, a throne, the galaxy, complete darkness, an army at your feet. You’ve won. Are you happy? After everything you’ve done? Killing the millions of people who wanted nothing to do with the Order and in which it stands? Killing Snoke? Killing your father? destroying the Resistance that your mother built? Helping end Lukes life? You have all this, your end game, has it brought you any form of happiness? Relief? Like you hoped it would?” She yelled from below. She was surprised he stood there and listened. There was no sound, only the rain now.

“Come inside” he yelled back after a few quiet minutes. She rolled her eyes and limped out of sight. Holding her side, Aus limped to under the wing, sitting on the rock and staring out to the ocean in front of her. Watching the rain hit the water, creatures breaching the surface in the distance. She was so mad at him. She could feel he wasn’t happy, after how everything he wanted came to be. She knew he’d never tell her, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to hold it in anymore. After a few lost moments of staring out, Aus began to feel cold and woozy.

Kylo was so furious that she dared say anything to him about any of it. Bringing up his father, his mother, it all. What right did she have? The disgusting traitor! What did she know? … He would never tell her that she was right. He had everything he fought and killed and sacrificed for, but he was empty. It brought him nothing like he thought it would bring. Everyday he lets the darkness fill him and he thought that was enough, but the emptiness tears at him every waking second. It’s easy to let the darkness in, to let it consume him. He was fine for months, before she….Thats it, he was going to go outside and force her into the ship, if she didn’t want to come, then he will leave her there and be done with it. Go back to complete darkness and the emptiness that came along with it.

He was still furious when he exited the ship, until he saw her under the wing. He rushed to her, lifting her immediately.

“Lift your arms, we need to get these clothes off of you.” Kylo said with persistence. Was she dreaming? She had a dream like that before, without their clothing. No this wasn’t a dream, it all felt too real, and the rain was hot now. He had taken her to the shower, she was freezing.

Aus opened her eyes to find Ben hunched over her trying to take off her wet clothing. She helped him the best she could. Ben left her in her breast band again as well as her under things. Aus sat on the floor of the fresher while he stood tall and closing the door as he walked away. Aus didn’t care, the water felt so good. Hot to the touch, the shivering still in her body. She missed the water supply that the order had to offer. The base that the Resistance was currently held up at doesn’t have that kind of supply or recycle system, therefore, showers are a little more scarce.

“Why are you so stubborn? Do you have a death wish?” Kylo asked when he returned. He opened the door to the fresher and sat down in the opening, leaning against it. Aus leaned back against the wall, water still running down her body. “hhmm. Maybe” she replied with a faint smile, “Only when you’re involved it seems.” Kylo let out a faint smile and it only brought Aus to smile a little more. “Help me up, please?” Aus asked, reaching her arms out. Kylo leaned into the fresher and grabbed her, helping her to feet. She gasped at the pain in her side but stood. Kylo let go and she held on to the sides the fresher. The walls came up to just under her armpits, enough to over her, but she didn’t care if he saw. She removed her breast band and underthings and tossed them out through the open shower door. The water felt even better running over her completely raw state. Kylo turned away. Aus turned back into the water and Kylo left the room.

After she finished, Aus looked around the bathroom, looking for her things, but was met with nothing. She was thankful for the dryer option in the Order showers, it made drying herself with the old rebel towels seem like cruel and unusual punishment. “Ben?” she yelled from the fresher. Kylo came into the bathroom, “yes?”

“Can you bring my clothing, please? I’d like to get dressed” she asked.

“They are hanging to dry now, here is something you can wear until then,” he said pointing to a black garment laying across the counter. Kylo left the bathroom again, returning to whatever it is was he was doing. She stepped out of the fresher and grabbed the garment. She recognized it as she slid it on. Of course it was much too wide and long, but it would work for now and hide the fact that she has no under things on. Aus grabbed the belt that Ben left behind, probably knowing she would need it, and secured it around her waist. She looked herself over in the large mirror seeing the black, ribbed fabric covering her, leaving her shoulders and arms bare. While the length stopped a few inches above the knee, the 4 black Longer pieces 2 in front, 2 in back, draping down to the floor, still exposing her legs. She thought this was destroyed that night in the forest, but knowing Kylo, he probably had several.

Before Aus walked towards the doorway in the bathroom in hopes to find where Ben had gone off too. “Here,” she heard from outside the door. Kylo walked into view, holding out his hand to her, standing partially in the doorway of his rooms. Kylo stared at her in his clothing, she looked radiant in black. Her beautiful, athletic legs showing every move she makes, not noticing the scars on them or her arms as Aus took his hand. “I have something for you, are you hungry?” he added. Aus nodded and smiled then with his help, walked next to him into the room.

In his rooms sat a large bed, a desk and dresser. There was another door, that she assumed was his closet. He sat her on the bed and brought a blanket around her, then brought over something, setting it down in front of her. “This is the most comfortable bed I’ve ever sat on. It’s strange that you can’t sleep with a bed like this. The base we’re currently in, we’re sleeping on cots from before the first war with the empire. There are spring marks on my back from it” Aus said bouncing up and down on the bed beneath her. Kylo was so surprised she offered any info about where the rebels were, but he figures, how could he find out anything from information like that. Kylo huffed, then lifted the cover on the food plate under it. Her eyes lit up, there were cheeses, breads, fruits and….bacon…. She was so overwhelmed by the presence of fresh food, that when she saw the bacon, she had to hold back tears.

Crying was not something Aus was accustomed to, but her new life where she has been privy to see so many beautiful things as well as finding out what constant heart break felt like, has given her the ability to not always be so strong. She cried that night that Kylo offered her the galaxy, knowing damn well she wouldn’t do it. She never experienced that before, not like that. But this was a different kind of feeling that wanted to elicit tears. Aus wanted to stand up, walk over to him and kiss him and love him. But she knew better than that. From her earlier try in a drug induced state and near-death experience had showed her that he will not accept her like that. so Aus looked up to Ben and caught his eye, “Join me?” she asked. And they sat there and enjoyed their shared meal, like they did when they were “friends”. And for a moment, they were again.

During the meal, they didn’t speak. The anger and hate that Kylo felt earlier at her remarks, were gone, or at least subsided for now. After the meal, Aus felt full. Ben cleaned up. Aus laid back on the large bed, legs still dangling over the side. Enjoying the moment before she has to return to the uncomfortable bed in the medbay. She was full, she was healing and she was comfortable. And most importantly, she was safe.

It was always weird, no matter how things went with one another, she always felt safe with him. Even at his most dangerous. “You can sleep here tonight, I’ll take the medbay bed” his voice broke her state of content. “No, it’s ok, just help me up, I’ll sleep in there, I’ve slept on worse,” Aus said stretching her arms out to him now. He reached for her, helping her back into an upright position. She didn’t let go. Neither did he. “No, you stay in here, it’s fine, don’t be stubborn” he said.

Aus thought for a few moments, but gave in, “Ok, I’ll stay in here.” Kylo nodded and tried to let go, but was cut off instead “only if you stay with me” she added. ‘What was she suggesting?’ he hesitated. “The bed is more than large enough for both of us, it’s fine,” she said. Kylo thought and thought and thought and truly thought about giving in, ‘Maybe she’ll let me hold her, because she wants too?’

But she did not give him time, she laid back down slowly. Kylo turned out the lights, the moonlight crept in through the small viewports, the storm crashing around outside. He climbed in bed beside her, not caring if he was to close or not, but he didn’t need to do anything, she cuddled up right into him, shivering. He wrapped his arms around her body and eased against her. He was actually holding her for real.

He was so hot to the touch, it was wonderful for how she was feeling. But them as a whole, somehow the force was calm now. Aus still felt pain, but this moment they were sharing was worth it. Its always worth it with him. She closed her eyes and breathed him in as she fell closer and closer to sleep. Kylo followed in her footsteps, and before they knew it, they were both out.

Sometime after they had fallen asleep, Kylo opened his eyes to see her staring at him. She held onto him, then moved her hand to his face, resting it there. Kylo followed her lead, unable to do anything else. She stared at him, not with a look she always gives him, but with a look he didn’t recognize. He searched through their bond, desperately hoping she would send through what she was feeling or thinking. But she had it closed enough that he could only feel her power. And her power was pulsing.

*****He was on top of her without even knowing. Leaning over her, looking into her beautiful face. Their faces were inches away. She finally let go of his hands that were now at her side, only to raise hers to meet his arms, then running them up to his face. He leaned into them with such need. Why was he so desperate for her touch? Why? She could feel him melt into her hands, but there was the darkness creeping up again to pull him away. She was scared he would reject her again, so she opened the bond a little more so that he can feel the light, her desire, want and need for him.**

**It was the same feeling he felt from her in that training room, only this time, it was laced with ‘if tomorrow never comes’ and something else he couldn’t or wouldn’t wrap his head around. She wanted him right now, knowing that he would return to the Order and she would return to the Resistance. He knew he shouldn’t do this, it wasn’t fair to her, it wasn’t right. If he was honest, it wasn’t fair to either of them. He didn’t deserve her, never did and never could…She would have him ruin her, why?  But whatever she wanted he was going to give her, she deserved everything she wanted. He was going to give her everything he could, until she wouldn’t let him anymore.**

**Aus swam in those big, soft, wanting, scared brown eyes above her. They were the most beautiful things she had ever seen, it’s hard to believe they can also change into black soulless nothingness. She could feel his heart beating wild with fear, worry, sadness, joy, excitement everything one could feel. This time though, Ben leaned into her mouth and she met him with hers. Once they connected, there was no fear.**

**They had done something like this before, so long ago, but it was different this time. Softer, and there was more…emotion to it. He embraced her so quickly, tangling his hands in her short hair, and she did the same. Both bodies wrapped into each other, palming at each other, mouthing the other. It was hurried, but not rushed. Slowly they both opened themselves up to the other completely. Both feeling and seeing images of the other.**

**Ben positioned himself between her legs as she opened them, neither breaking the kiss they were locked in. The longer pieces of the shirt she was wearing were to either side of them. Ben pushed against her, raising the long shirt she was in, up to expose her lack of underthings. He pressed against her hard. She could feel his hard cock hidden beneath the fabric of his pants. “Take off your shirt,” she panted.**

**Ben pushed to his knees immediately, unzipping and removing his top shirt, then the under shirt beneath. He lingered for a moment and looked down to the woman below. Want glazed in her eyes as she looked him up and down.  Aus watched as he removed his shirts. His body as perfect as she remembered, maybe even more so. So strong, so thick, he was massive and she ached for him. she reached for the lip of his pants and yanked him back down to her, he obliged without hesitation.**

**His tongue jammed back into her mouth, her tongue fighting his. Both their bodies coming undone at the touch of the other. Ben slid his hand down her side, running his fingers over her thigh. Aus’ giggled slightly, looking into Bens eyes, “that tickles, you naughty boy!” Ben smirked and an eyebrow lifted, “is the tough, Jedi ticklish? Hhmm?” he said sarcastically. She couldn’t believe it, he was toying with her. And she loved it. Ben ran his hand over her thigh again, just to hear that little squeak she let out the first time, and she did. It was the most amazing sound.**

**Ben couldn’t hold back his laugher at her reaction to being tickled. “the Orders best fighter, and the Resistance Jedi, is ticklish. It’s a good thing your enemies don’t know that all they need to do to defeat you is to tickle you to death” he giggled into her neck, while quickly kissing it in between words. He has the best laugh. If she wasn’t careful, she might just rule the galaxy with him just to hear it again, or worse, succumb to her heart and tell him how she feels, no matter how futile. Ben continued his slight laugh into her neck while teasing at her thigh, but in one swift move, he dove in head first. He moved his fingers to her nether region. Aus forgot how to breathe. She had never had anyone touch her like that, she did it a few times herself, but never anyone else, skin to skin…**

**Ben stopped, waiting for her reaction, but she did nothing. Her heart quickened, and he feared it may jump from her chest, or was that his? He began to move his fingers lightly over her creases. Lightly dragging one finger up the middle, listening to her breath skip. Ben removed his face from her neck and pulled away, but not moving his hand. He wanted to see the look on her sweet face while she let him do these things to her.**

**He continued, moving his finger up and down, feeling the short, soft hairs lacing her sex. She was slick, he could feel it and it made his body insane with primal urge. But he wanted to make this last, he wanted to make it something they both can remember for a lifetime. They had the time, right now. They stared, never taking their eyes off the other. Ben took in a deep breath and slid his fingers between the folds. Aus inhaled deeply, she couldn’t believe this was happening, she wanted this, but she didn’t know how it would go.**

**Ben slid his fingers up and stopped when a rush of pleasure shot through his entire body from her. ‘There it is,’ he thought. Placing 2 fingers on the little bud that elicited the shockwave of pleasure, he began to slowly and softly move up and down and in little circles on it. Aus moaned a sound like Ben had never heard before. He wanted to hear that sound until the end of time. He rubbed it, searching her mind for anything to help what he should do next, and she gave it to him willingly.**

**Ben moved his fingers to the small opening further below the little bud. He circled it, and before pushing in he waited, asking her through their bond if she was sure about this, all of this. Aus wrapped her arms around Bens head and kissed him. “mmmmMMMMMmmmmm” She moaned out when he pushed in. 1 finger was enough to make her wetter and more turned on than anything. He moved it in back and forth, slowly. He watched her face soften and her eyes glaze over. Ben shoved his tongue in her mouth, and she took it.**

**The sensation of his tongue in her mouth, his lips on hers, his finger inside her. Aus couldn’t believe what was happening. She had thought of a similar moment before, when they would spar together, so long ago. “Don’t hold on, sweetheart, let go” he whispered in her ear as he slid a second finger into her, moving radically against the little rough spot inside her, she made the most exquisite sounds when he pushed against it. The intense pleasure she received when the second finger went in was so much…**

**This is what he wanted to do to her, so long ago, on that floor in that room. He would do this to her everyday if she let him.  “Ben, Ben, Im, oh gods, Ben!” Aus shouted as she began squeezing and pulsing around his finger. Her body tensed under his, their glare unbroken, until she couldn’t keep them open anymore and they squeezed shut. Kylo had never been so hard, so filled with desire, need and want. He was ready and so was she. “My turn” she snickered as her high started falling.**

**Aus flipped him to his back and began unzipping his black pants. His raging, throbbing cock sprung out and into attention in front of her. A huge sigh of relief from Ben let out.  She took his cock into her hand, examining it closing, looking it from tip to fuzzy testicles below. She took her second hand and wrapped it around above the already clasped hand. “wow!” she let out. Both hands, one on above the other fit perfectly and her fingers did not wrap all the way around. He IS massive. Aus became a little unsure at that moment if he would fit, you know, inside her. A finger or two was one thing, but this?….But for the time being, she was going to play. Aus brought her lips to the tip of his cock, which had already started leaking, and wrapped her lips around it, dragging her tongue around. Kylo gasped loudly and wanted to cum right then. Aus halted.*****

Aus went into a blank stare for only a moment, Kylo looked to her as her eyes became vacant. Sadness washed over her immediately. And because of the bond, Kylo saw it too. “You forgot to turn off your holo-comm” she sighed as she got up from the bed. She stopped and looked him over once more. Kylo sat up urgently reaching out for her, forgetting himself, but a beep and then a holo image of General Hux popped up in front of him. Kylo covered himself discretely, glanced at Aus for a moment, then back to Hux. “I ordered not to be disturbed on my mission, this better be of grave importance General” Ben was once again Kylo Ren, Supreme leader. Aus backed into the doorway and watched.

“Yes, Supreme Leader, of course. We received information from OUR informant of the whereabouts of the remaining Resistance. We have located the them on CanRoon.. And talks with the Niche’ are going well, we should have more productive and faster turn-around for our new Fleet of DreadNaughts.” Hux finished, looking pleased with himself. Kylo heard him, but all he could do was look to Aus. Aus stared at him from the doorway, she thought for a moment, she could stop all this and speak, give kylo up so he had no choice, but she couldn’t do it, he would resent her anyway. She found it amusing that Hux thought he found the Resistance as she hurried to the medbay, grabbing her things. Kylo looked back to Hux, “Very well General.” Kylo ended the transmission. He jumped to his feet rezipping his pants. He hurried after Aus who has now fled the ship.

Aus ran towards the tiny stone huts, trying to get away. She had been thrown back into reality where the man she…Where this man is still hunting her and her friends. Destroying the galaxy for rule. She couldn’t believe she let herself, AGAIN, be pulled in by him. She didn’t regret this, he did save her, but she wouldn’t pretend anymore and he shouldn’t either.

She Made it to Lukes hut and slammed the door, latching it closed from the inside. A few moments later Kylo came running up the rocky path, stumbling into the stone village. He searched the huts from afar but zoned in on her signature from the only hut with a door. He ran to it, frantically trying to open the old fighter door. He knew he could force it down, but that would make whatever this was, worse. She felt him, then she heard him. The tears streaming down her face, it was the throne room all over again. He would choose the dark and go back to the Order and she would run to the Resistance.

“Go away, Kylo” She screamed through the closed door.

“Aus, open the door, please” He demanded from outside.

“Leave, Kylo” She yelled again.

Hearing her call him that cut him. “come with me!?” he asked.

Was he really asking her again to go with him? Why won’t he just let it go? It would be so much easier. “Ben, Please…Just leave” She cried through the door.

Ben heard it, but he felt her anguish even more. He felt such disgust and resentment, but none aimed to her, only himself. Kylo gave up and returned to his ship, but not before turning to look back at the door on the stone hut one last time. How did it come to this already? He knew it would eventually, but why did it always, always have to end…like this. Or at all…?

Aus sat against the door. Sobbing, arms wrapped around her knees. She heard the shuttle start up but it only sat there, as if waiting for something, for her. She knew. What did he expect? He probably would have dropped her anywhere she wanted, or maybe even met with chewie to return her. He would not attack nor follow, but how would she explain any of it to anyone. Did he think it’d be easy?

 An hour passed, while she sat there, the ship sat there too. She turned to the door and leaned against it, pressing her hand and forehead against it. “please, just go, Ben.” And as if he heard her, the ship finally lifted off. They could feel each other until he was out of the planets’ atmosphere. Kylo and Aus felt numb.

A few moments passed, and Aus finally found the strength to stand. She readied herself as she stood before the closed door. She opened it and walked out, kicking something at her feet. Aus looked down and found a communicator. This made it all the harder, he left her a way off Ach-To anyway.

Aus had changed out of Kylos’ clothing and into her dried clothes that she grabbed from the Medbay. She had called Chewie on the comm that Kylo had left and was now awaiting the wookies arrival. While waiting she glanced around Luke’s hut, looking at the little trinkets he had here and there. If they were important, Aus wouldn’t know. She looked to the stone bed that she had placed Kylos folded clothing. She debated for a while whether she should take it or not. How would she explain to anyone that would easily recognize it, how it came to be in her possession? Aus slid the garment into her bag and headed down towards the platform, leaving Luke’s empty hut and Ach-To behind. “there are still no answers here” she spoke under her breath as she gave it all one last glance.


	30. What are friends for?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Chewie was right on time, as usual. That wookie is amazing. Everyone always gave Han the credit for his amazing piloting skills, but Aus began to wonder over the last several months they had the privilege of flying together, if it wasnt Chewie that was the amazing pilot all along. Either way, Aus was always so happy to see him.

Chewie was indeed happy to see her, embracing her into a big furry hug. Seeing she was alive and healed. Aus thought about it for a moment, after Chewie let go of her and started towards the cockpit again. She lifted her shirt to reveal a scar where her healing wound had been, She was healed, fully. There was a scar where she had been pierced, but now there was no pain, nothing. Had they healed it when they were together? She had been so caught up in him that she didn’t think about her wound for a second. Come to think of it, after they started kissing and giving in, the pain just stopped. ‘wow’ she thought, as she pulled her shirt back down.

Not saying much, Aus joined Chewie at the helm and off they went. Chewie kept looking to her, from the side. It was unsettling, she knew not how to take this odd behavior, but perhaps he’s just in shock she was alive. After a few moments into hyperspace, Chewie broke the silence.

Translated:

“Well, at least his hygiene is better now. And he didn’t kill you, so that’s good” Chewie said.

Aus was redfaced in a matter of seconds. Apparently, she forgot about wookies heightened sense of smell. He could smell Ben all over her. What’s she going to say? “uuhhh, what do you mean?” she replied, stupidly.

Chewie just stared at her with knowing eyes.

“Oh my gods, Chewie. What am I going to do? It was like he came out of nowhere and rescued me when I was dying, like some Dark Prince out of a twisted fairytale. I didn’t have a way to call the Resistance, my comm broke. Oh Gods, then I told him to come here because it was safe. He fixed me up, no questions. I didn’t ask him too! He just came for me. Then he sent a message to you guys and left me a comm so I can find my way home. Oh my gods, what am I going to do? How am I going to explain it to Leia? She can’t know, Chewie. It will give her false hope again. There is no way Ben…Kylo is coming back…But he helped me. Uuuuuarrrrrrgh. Chewie…” the words uncontrollably falling from her mouth.

They had about 20 minutes until landing with the rebels and he didn’t have the words. He was not angry. He still held rage for the monster that killed his best friend, but how could he be angry when that monster saved his new friend, without expectation? Without trickery? Aus was right about one thing for sure, Leia couldn’t know. It would give her hope that she didn’t need only to tear her apart once more.

“For now, do not tell Leia. I know it’ll probably bite us in the ass later, but it would make things more complicated and worse. You would have to explain why he didn’t hurt you and let you return to us. Some would understand, but most wouldn’t and would probably cast you out as a spy or something of that nature” Chewie insightfully ended.

Aus had thought about this as much. Her friends wouldn’t understand, not in the slightest, and Leia…Oh Gods, Leia. Aus considered Chewie’s words for the duration of the trip. They landed at the rebel base a few minutes later. Aus walked down the ramp, terrified but only met with happy faces. Rey ran to Aus, pulling her tightly into a hug, followed by Finn and Rose. Poe awkwardly walked up “good to have you back, Aus” he said, sounding unsure of himself. But Finn forced him into the giant group hug.

                “what happened? How did you get away? We got a message saying you were almost dead and someone saved you. Where were you?” all the questions came like an avalanche. But one stood out, “leave her be, you four. Aus, dear, come with me please” Leia spoke softly behind them. Aus looked to her friends and then followed behind Leia into the base.

                “I am beyond happy you’re ok. Are you ok?” Leia asked, with worried, brown eyes. Aus nodded, assuring she was indeed, physically fine. “Please tell me, what happened, I know you were on Vashon for something, but how did this happen?”. Aus told her about going there for Finn and Roses’ wedding gift, then being recognized by bounty hunters. How she fell into that cavern after being chased by them. Knowing she was going to die, staring up to the stars. Then…When she woke, she was on Ach-To, healed and alone. She made the call to chewie to come get her and that was it.

                Leia was in disbelief, she knew, better yet, she felt something was not quite right with the story she told, especially towards the end. But she didn’t push. Aus was there, unharmed, and so was the Resistance, for now. Leia let Aus have her story and they chatted a little while after that about small things. After several minutes, Aus went to her rooms, and straight into the fresher, where she sat and in silence for almost an hour.

                When she vacated the fresher, Aus sat on her bed and stared out the little window. Taking in a deep breath, she found the will to dress and go on with her day. Food. Mechanics. She had found that Rose and Finn held off on their wedding, in hopes that Aus would return. That seemed ridiculous to her, it wasn’t about her, it was about them, but It was a nice gesture and she was happy that she would be a part of it. She did indeed find what she was looking for on Vashon, their wedding rings, and they were safetly hidden in her bag…With something else that needs to stay hidden. Aus called it early to bed that night, finding it hard to be motivated to stay awake any longer.

                She tried to sleep that night, but it had eluded her, instead she stared at the comm in her hands. The comm that Kylo left for her. She kicked around the idea for a moment whether it could contact him…if it did, would he want to talk? Would he even care? What good would it do? Nothing, no good would come of it. So, she placed the comm into her drawer and rolled over to finally sleep.

Weeks had passed. Things had started getting back to normal. Rose and Finns wedding was beautiful. Leia had given Rose one of her breathtaking gowns and Finn dawned a handsome tuxedo that Leia had also managed to find. They were a sight to behold and they deserved this. They all did.

                After the ceremony, a party was held in the hanger. Drinks, music, dancing. Aus watched as everyone indulged, and she was glad for it. These people had too much loss and needed something to remind them, it will be rebuilt, someday. There is hope.

                Leia always looked to Aus as if she knew or at least wanted to ask something she wants to know, desperately, but never does, only smiles then goes on her way. Aus over looked the dancers, the eaters and drinkers. For a moment, she had wished Ben was there, that he could use something fun for once. She knew that would never happen and that she needed to stop letting thoughts like that into her head, but she couldn’t stop the smile from appearing across her face at the thought.

Again, AGAIN, he made his choice. And every moment she spent thinking about him, about what they’ve done together, how also in her time of true need, he saved her, no strings attached, nothing wanted, but only for her to survive, she was riddled with guilt. Her smiled faded.

                Aus slipped from the party and back to her rooms. She put on some music and just stared out the window, listening. She hummed along as she grabbed her flimsy and began drawing.


	31. The Dameron triangle...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

She worked and trained and read constantly, to keep herself from thinking of any of it. The guilt was eating at her, so she worked harder, hoping that if it would ever come to light that they would remember she was there for them, for the Resistance. She hated feeling this way. He Is the enemy, and she needs to remember that.

                A month had passed. No force bonds with Kylo, no attacks from the Order. Nothing. It had been quiet for months on the Orders end. She knew they didn’t forget about the rebels, but Aus just assumes, for now, its business and 20 or so rebels are nothing. The base now housed roughly 150 people. Slowly the Resistance was growing again. There were still only a few x-wings at the moment, but they were solid for how much work they have out into them.

                Today as Aus came into the hanger, she noticed a group of people, containing her friends as well, gathered around a sheeted something. She became curious and walked to where they were standing. “Aus, im sooo glad you’re here, can you help me with this?” Poe gushed excitedly. Aus was confused but did as requested. A few of them helped with the sheet and pulled it down. There, underneath the grey, dirty sheet, was an almost brand new, beautiful all white x-wing with a single blue stripe up the center cone of the fighter and split down the back onto the smoothed and very rounded engines.

                “Happy birthday, Aus!!” Finn, Rose, Rey and Poe yelled along with the rest of the group with them. “What?” Aus gasped, flabbergasted by the whole thing. “Well, it’s really your induction into the Order, but since we were all so young, I thought it best to just call it a birthday” Finn said, throwing his arm around her. How did he remember something like that? I guess it didn’t really matter. “What, why are you guys doing this?” Aus tried to speak out. Apparently almost dying to make sure Rose and Finn have wedding rings was enough to get them wanting to do something for her.

                After the crowd had dispersed, Poe and Rey stuck behind to chat wth her about the new x-wing and go over the upgrades. She didn’t believe she deserved it, but they wouldn’t let her oppose, so she went along with it.  It really was a ship to behold. The sleek design, the upgraded turbo system. Aus was in awe and really shaken at the grand gesture her friends had made. “thank you, so much. You can never know what this means to me” the words shaking from her mouth. Rey went after Rose and Finn but Poe stayed behind. “we all worked on it. We thought, I thought our best fighter should have the best X-wing as well” Poe said smiling.

Then before she knew it, Poes lips were on hers. Flashes of Kylo went through her head and she shoved Poe away. How dare he, she didn’t like him like that, with or without Kylo having ever been apart of her. What was he thinking? “don’t ever do that again, please, Poe. I love you, you are a friend, I don’t see you that way for me. I am sorry,” Aus spoke out. Poe was taken back by this, he is not usually rejected. “i….im sorry, Aus…I Don’t know what I was thinking, Im sorry.” He said, getting ready to walk away. “Poe. I’m not upset, just please don’t. You’re my friend and I cherish you. However….I do believe that you should look more towards Rey, I know she likes you like that. And shes a waaay better pilot than I am.” Aus said smiling. Poe smiled, he had considered Rey for a bit, but Aus was well…Aus. “Are we ok?” Poe asked. Aus nodded, “of course”.

                The next morning, an alert sounded. Aus jumped from her sleep, threw on her nearest clothing and rushed to the hanger. “whats going on? The Order?” She hurried out when she found Poe. “the Orders in the area, it’s one ship, to far from the others according to intelligence, it’s a star destroyer. We can take it out and be gone before the Order knows we were there” He shouted. Poe continued shouting orders for pilots to fire up. But she noticed he didn’t tell them anything he just told her. “this is a terrible idea! This is a suicide mission…” She screamed at him. Poe ignored Aus and jumped into his fighter and off they went. Aus ran to her new gift, fired it up and joining the rest.

                “Poe, does Leia know? This can not be sanctioned!” Aus yelled over the comm. Poe didn’t look to her. Finn and Rey were in the x-wings flanking her. They looked worried. The Finalizer came into view as they dropped from hyperspace. “Holy shit, Poe, no!!! This is _now_ a suicide mission. Do you know who’s on that ship? Your sources were wrong! They will have ships near by!!” Aus screamed again. This time, Finn spoke up, “I think shes right, Poe. There’s only 12 of us, what do you think we can do against that?” But it was too late, the tie fighters were already loose.

                “Clear the surface cannons, we can get this down, and everyone on it!” Poe ordered. Aus could feel the hesitation, but they pursued, it was to late now. “Poe, there’s more than just Ren and Hux on that ship! There are 1000’s of troopers! Like me and Finn!” She yelled at poe again. But he was gone. Aus and the others made their way through the ships belly, blasting cannons and guns left and right, trying to make way for whatever Poe had in mind. “No!!” Rey yelled. One of the pilots, Yarst, was downed. After a few moments, another went down and then another.

                Aus and Rey made it to the tail end of the ship, clearing the cannons, when a familiar presence brushed against her. “kriffng fuck” she yelled. “Ren’s out, we’ve lost 5 of our 12 pilots. This has to stop. All fighters, fall behind me, that’s an order!” Aus ordered. Poe interjected but it was too late. At this time, the pilots followed the more rational individual. “WE have them crippled, we can do this!” Poe ordered and yelled again. But no one budged. “we can still make it out of here alive, we can just say we’re holding them ransom, we need food and med supplies. Come on, Poe. Its that, or we’re dead, just trust me? Please?” Poe huffed and fell directly next to Aus in formation. “Let me speak to them first, Poe” Aus pleaded as Kylo and the rest of the tie fighters fell into line infront of them.

                Kylo glared at Aus. Aus could feel his disgust and anger flowing in her direction. Their eyes were locked. There was no moving him. Aus went to speak like she had said, but Poe beat her to it. Over the comm, Poe began his speech about how they had the Orders flag ship crippled and would detonate the bombs they had laid if Kylo didn’t agree to give up supplies. Kylo heard none of it, only raging internally. ‘ _I didn’t know. I came to stop it once I found out. Leia doesn’t know about this_ ,’ Aus tried to push through their bond, but Kylo had it shut tightly. ‘ _I save you and this is how you repay me? I let your pack of traitors live in what ever base on whatever desolate planet they managed to hide on, and you do this_?’ He pushed back to her, ignoring her words. ‘ _Just let us out of here and we will be gone, I’ll kill Poe myself once we get back. Please, love_ ’ Aus frantically begged, hoping he would hear it and for once just listen to her.

Kylo jolted, only slightly, but enough for Aus to notice it broke his hate centered concentration. Kylo knew that he could defeat them in a swift moment, but also knew, that he would lose everything. ‘did she just?...Love?’ Kylo wanted to ignore it, but _that_ he couldn’t, “I will speak to the Jedi” Kylo responded to Poe. Poe glanced to Aus who stayed locked on Rens eyes, then back to Kylo who was locked on her. It Made Poe very uncomfortable, he didn’t know what was going on, but it was an uneasy feeling, “I am in command here, Ren. You speak with me.” Kylo shot a glare at Poe that would inplode a Hutt in their own slime. The jealousy oozed from Kylo. “Poe, its fine. If it gets us out of here, let me talk to him.” Aus commanded. Everyone glanced at one another, unsure and scared. Had Poes cockiness finally got them all killed for nothing? Poe reluctantly acknowledged Aus.

Aus Pushed through their bond a channel that no one would know, so that they may talk freely. This mind thing was new and was very exhausting. “Ben, I am sorry,” she pleaded, “Supreme Leader,” he cut her off. She ignored his attempt at intimidating her, “I didn’t know. When I got to my fighter, I found out. Poe didn’t tell anyone what was going on. And the general has no clue. I came to make sure this didn’t happen. None of it” Aus purposefully spewed out. Kylo glared. His intensity started to unsettle her. He could very easily right a wrong he did by letting her live, all it would take is one blast. “Did he get that for you?” Kylo asked, his words like poison. His jealous state scared the living crap out of her. “I..I..They all did. Everyone you see here. In this formation.” Aus stuttered out.

Kylo let out a ‘hhmp’ not sure if he believes her or not. “And if I let you and your scum go, what do I say to keep my command going so smoothly? Did you think of that?” he snarled out. The surrounding pilots on both sides were uneasy, they wanted so badly to know what the Supreme Leader and the Resistance Jedi could be talking about. “I did actually. Just tell Hux that you knew though we would have fought to the death, that we would have taken you all with us in a last chance suicide explosion. And that all we wanted in exchange for you and your crews lives, were supplies. It will suck, but you can beat the shit out of Hux for questioning you and it will make you feel slightly better.”

She wanted to tell him that she missed him. Missed his touch, missed his smell. Wanted to tell him that she sleeps with the comm next to her bed and his garment under her mattress.

He wanted to tell her that he was so thrilled that she was near. But neither spoke of such things in a time like this. This was a time for the sides they chose. Kylo could feel her sadness, though she was hiding it beneath fear for her friends and false confidence, he found it only matched his own.

He should kill them all. He should do a lot of things. But this was the last time, the last time for her. “Fine, I give will you the supplies. DO NOT attack us unprovoked again, or you will all die,” His words weaved with truth, and misery. Aus nodded. When they went to change their channels back Aus stopped, “Ben…..”, but it was too late. He looked at her, knowing she wanted to say something, but pushed on. What good would it do. Aus sighed in defeat, they may have won the battle today, but she fears, she was losing the war.

“I will give you and your filthy rebels the supplies you request. Do not attack us again or you will all die. There will be no talks, no mercy and your precious Jedi won’t be able to save you either. There will be no tracker. Take your supplies and leave this space” Kylo ordered. Poe considered him for a moment, then opened his mouth, “Do you give me your word that there will be no tracker, no way to follow us from here? I mean, you are as trust worthy as a Hutt, Bud.” Kylo became furious, “you question my word? Pilot!?” He hovered his thumb over the blaster button. Aus immediately force slapped Poe in the back of the head.

“Poe, you fucking moron. Ren has zero humor and even less tolerance for you, he’s letting us out of here,” Aus spit into her comm. Poe glared at her then back to Ren, “Fine, Ren. We’ll do it.” Aus and the others felt relief. Then Poe opened his mouth once more, Aus forced slapped Poe again before he could say anything stupid.

 All communications between both sides stopped. Kylo looked back to Aus, never breaking his eye contact, nor did she. Kylo retreated the space with his fighters and disappeared into the hanger. Several minutes later, a message shot through to the Resistance pilots letting them know of their supplies drop. A few shipping containers were shot out into their direction. With precision clamps and the help of the R2 and BB units, the pilots were able to grab the boxes, and scram.

“I can’t believe you let them go, Supreme leader. We had them in our grasp and YOU let them go!?” Hux screamed. Hux knew he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t believe that even Kylo Ren, would let them escape, he didn’t think that he was that much of an idiot. “We may have out numbered them, but they were prepared to bring this whole ship down and them with it. I don’t know about you, General, But if you and I are dead and everyone else on this ship, who is going to run the Order?” Kylo force grip tighter than normal around the weasels neck. Kylo thinks he might actually do it this time. Just kill the ginger bastard. He was of no use and the army will command just fine under Kylo. Just squeeze a little harder. Hes blue…purple…”do you understand now, General?” Kylo asked, as he dropped the man to the floor. Hux struggled out a “Yes, supreme leader” while trying to get to his feet.

Kylo left the bridge and disappeared into his rooms. Hux stood there on the bridge, gathering his bearings. He hated Ren more than anything, but even this was low. He had to be dealt with. Hux decided to investigate the happenings of the formation since the Finalizer was not privy to the communications. ‘He will be destroyed…and I will be Supreme Leader’ Hux thought to himself, His smirk mirrored that of a Cheshire cat.


	32. bad habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

“What the fuck was the for?!” Poe screamed as he held his bloody nose. Aus came out of the cockpit swinging. She was about to kill Poe Dameron for almost killing her friends and succeeding in getting a few dead. “YOU’re a fucking piece of shit, you couldn’t fucking listen could you!!??!” she yelled, hitting him again. Aus didn’t need the force to beat the shit out of someone. She kicked him, hit him, threw her anger at him. He fought back. But unsure of how to do so.

“YOU ARE WORST THAN THE ORDER!” she blasted at him, landing another blow to his face. Now she had him pinned and was going at his face with her fists unstopping. It was the only thing she could think of. His stupidity almost cost all the them their lives, for what? For his glory? “why wouldn’t you just listen?? Is it because I rejected you?! You needed to remind yourself that you are ‘the man’? you nearly got all of us Killed!!!!” She spat again.

                “Enough!” Leia yelled from the hanger door. Aus contemplated for a moment, then let up. Aus stood at attention. Poe scrambled to his feet. “you four, with me, now!” Leia pointing to finn, Poe, Rey and Aus. Poe and Aus sat in the hall outside Leias office while Rey and Finn were inside, assuming they are telling her what happened. “Great” Aus said outloud.  Aus barely a scratch on her, glanced at Poe. He was bloody, so bloody. He deserved it.

                “When we got into the air, we heard Aus yelling at Poe over the comm, that it was suicide, there was no point in this. We had no idea that he had called the attack himself! We love Poe, he Is our friend, and commander,” Finn and Rey spewed out. “Things were going ok, we managed to clear the surface cannons and guns, but then Kylo came out with the fighters and it was over, he downed 2 pilots like that. The only reason we made it out of there was….well, it was really weird, Aus,” Finn and Rey looked to one another. “Aus took over and we followed her. Poe was furious, but he was the reason we were in the mess in the first place. Aus got us just out of comm range from the Finalizer, so If Ren came out to meet us, he’d have no back up or communications with the ship. There was no way we were going to leave that place alive. Poe tried to salvage what was left of the situation, saying we needed supplies, but Ren wasn’t having it. He would only to speak to Aus. Both Poe and Kylo were pissed,” Finn finished.

Leia listened on every word very closely. She knows Poe is a hot head, but she thought that after the Drednaught crap, he would’ve learned. Before Leia could dismiss them, Rey interrupted her. “It was so weird. He wouldn’t take his eyes off her. He glared at her and she stared back. It was like it was only the two of them in this fight and we were all just there to watch. But she did save us. Her and Kylo Ren had a private talk over the comm and when they came back on, he agreed to the supplies. And at his word, there were no tracking devices. We checked on a near by planet to make sure. It was just weird, but I thank the Gods for it,” Rey finished. The 3 of them sat there for a moment longer, and then they were dismissed. “your turn,” Finn said, exiting the room, “Man, you look terrible” he directed at Poe. “Thanks, buddy.” Poe annoyingly answered back to him.

Aus and Poe entered the room and sat in the 2 empty seats in front of Leias desk. “What happened?” She asked, not letting a moment go to waste. Aus just shook her head, but as usual, Poe opened his mouth “I ordered a strike on the Orders flag ship without your knowledge. I take full responsibility, General”. Aus was stunned and so was Leia, perhaps he did learn from his mistakes now, though it would have been better had this entire thing not happen at all. “Aus, is there anything you want to add?” she inquired. Again, Aus shook her head. Then she stopped, “Wait…did you KNOW that Ren and Hux, that it was the flagship we were going after?” Aus directed at Poe. Poe nodded.

Aus jumped from her chair. “You fucking knew, you Fucking knew that the galaxies most skilled killers, battle strategist and one of the strongest force users were on that ship and you really believed we could have taken them down with 12 fighters? You know what, Poe?! You _are_ worse than Kylo. At least he doesn’t claim to care for the people he fights with. You claim you care for us, that we are your friends, but you only care about what it takes for YOU to look like a hero, to come out the hero, and you don’t care who dies in the process! You have killed most of the resistance in your efforts to be remembered the Resistance Hero. CongratuFuckinglations,” Aus finished, staring Poe down in the corner of the room she backed him into. “sit, both of you” Leia commanded. Aus hesitated, but she obliged.

“Your boyfriend is a Fucking monster! What did you guys talk about, huh? You planning on running away together? Getting married? Ruling the galaxy? Having little First Order Sith babies together?? What about that, why is no one talking about that? Why is no one talking about the fact that you seem to have some sort of relationship with the guy? I saw it! You two staring at each other when he commanded he talk to you only? You talk like you admire the guy, seems like all the time, its just so weird that he only agreed to let us go AFTER he spoke to you. Come on, Aus. You giving it up to the enemy?” before Poe could spit out another word, Aus had him in a force choke.

“You fucking garbage. You’re the reason so many are dead. You should be with them. And how dare you! I turned down the galaxy for the Resistance! You know nothing. The difference between you and Kylo Ren, is that Ren doesn’t lie to himself about what he is. You, on the other hand, you lie to yourself everyday, what are you trying to live up to? The galaxy already knows your name. how many more have to die for your vanity, your infamy?” Aus seethed into his face. Leia stood there and watched, in shock, uncertain of what was unravelling before her. Aus rocked her head side to side, thinking on the fate of Dameron that was dangling in front of her. His face turning shades of red, now purple. She dropped him then to her knees. She felt nothing but shame rush through her. She didn’t regret beating the shit out of him, but she did regret what just transpired.

Leia went to Poe, getting him to his feet and calling a medical droid to come to his aid. “take him to the medbay, Aus stay here” she commanded. Aus still on her knees, looking at her hands. ‘what am i?’ she asked herself. “Aus, come sit.” Leia spoke softly. Aus forced herself to her feet and to the chair, not looking to Leia. “Leia..I” but Leia cut her off. “He deserved it. It was a bit shocking to say the least to see the force choke at the end, but even then, he deserved it. Sometimes that boy doesn’t know when to just shut the hell up.”

Leia stared at Aus as she stared at her hands. She was still ashamed, she should have had better control. “Aus, it will be alright. And from what I hear, you are the only reason he or any of you came back” Leia, still speaking softly. “If I had ever had a mother, I bet she would have been like you” Aus whispered through the tears now streaming down her face. Leia smiled, and Aus felt a warming coming from her, like a force hug. “Leia, I…we…I need to tell you something. I have been sooo terrified that if I tell you, I will lose everything, most importantly, this family. I have come to think of these people, all of you, as my family, and I would die for my family,” Aus paused, looking to Leia, then back to her hands, “I…” and then Aus started her story of her and Kylo, starting from the sparring they once had togehter, why and how.

She told her of the captain he killed for her. How Kylo left her on the planet to die when the Resistance found her. About the Force bond. How he offered her the galaxy after he killed Snoke for himself, but to also save her and how she turned down taking his hand, and how she was absolutely heartbroken. She told Leia of how he saved her on Vashon, and again this morning in the battle that Poe started. Aus told her everything, except she left out every bit of their intimacy, in all aspects. She also reminded Leia that Ben can only be saved by Ben, and that he embraced the dark, that he was not coming back. That she needed to know that Aus did not tell her this to give her hope, but to tell her only because she deserved to know.

There was silence now. Neither said a word. Leia was at a loss for words. What could she say? She knows this girl is no traitor. “Can you be compromised through these force sessions?” Leia asked. She was the general again. “No, we see the same thing, only each other. We can’t hear or see anything in the others life. We can’t use the force on each other in the bond, we can’t hurt each other either, believe me, we’ve tried. And if it ever grew to where something could be seen or heard, then I would remove myself from the Resistance. Your safety is the number one thing to me, Leia”. Leia grabbed Aus by the hand, smiled and nodded. “When was the last time the bond opened?” She asked. “When I was hurt. And before that, only 1 time in several months, since I closed it after Crait.” Aus ended.

Leia asked Aus to keep her updated on the situation, if they connect again, if she feels him, etc. Though Leia and Kylo share the bond of mother and son, their relationship has been severed severaly so they’d need to be really, very close. Where as Aus and Kylo, are actually connected, they could feel each and they don’t need to be so close, but the closer they are, the stronger the force.

Aus left Leia in her office, to return to her rooms. She was still so angry at Poe and didn’t care to check in on him. She went to her rooms and went into the bathroom. Aus stripped off her clothing and stepped into the Fresher. Blood ran down her hands as the hot water ran down her body. She stayed there for as long as she could, til the water ran cold.


	33. apologies are hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Weeks went by, Poe and Aus still have not spoken. The Order still had not attacked. And the showers were never long enough. Aus was under her fighter when she felt a familiar presence, but it wasn’t the one she had secretly hoped it would be, “what do you want, Poe?” she asked, never looking up from the belly of the x-wing. “Can we talk? Please?” Poe asked. “ok, Poe. Whats up?” she inquired back, still not looking to him. “I am sorry. For everything” he stated. Aus huffed, let out a giggle and continued working on her fighter.

“seriously, please look at me. I am apologizing and I need you to hear me, please” poe pleaded this time. Aus stopped, looked up to him, then back to her fighter. She set down her tools and stood up, looking Poe in the eye, “go” she said. Poe nodded, “you were right, about a whole lot. Ive had time to myself to think about everything, and re-evaluate myself. I wanted to be the hero so badly, that I DIDN’T care that people died, because i could use the excuse, “they died a hero”, but we can’t win wars with dead heros. I am sorry about the things I said about you and….well, you know. I really hope you can forgive me, and we can get passed this and please never force choke me again,” he finished.

Aus had time to herself as well, trying to figure out what comes next. Leia knew, how long til the others did? She wasn’t so innocent herself. But she let Poe have is apology. “ok, I accept your apology. But I must apologize too. I know it was extremely strange, the situation with Ren. I was just as shocked as you all were. I told you, we were kind of friends before, well…Finn told you. Who knows what was going through his mind, but either way, I was able to talk him into letting us get the fuck outta there with some shit and our lives. And I guarantee, it would never work again, ha ha” Aus finished with a smile that mirrored Poes. “We live the craziest lives, don’t we? Are you and i ok now? Or at least, on our way to being ok again?” He asked. Aus nodded. They both smiled and Poe left her.

*knock knock* “come in?” Aus said laying on her bed reading. Rey walked into the room, smiling, but had a very scared and unsure sense about her. Aus sat up quickly, “Rey! Hello! What is going on?” She said smiling, running to hug her friend. Rey hugged Aus back then took a seat in the chair near her bed. “Im not bothering you, am i?” Rey asked. This was very odd, Rey was always so sure of herself and outspoken, but now, she falls uneasy and silent. “Never! Im glad you are here, is there something on your mind?” Aus asked, slightly intrigued and hoping its not about her.

Rey was silent for a few moments, before speaking. “you want to ask me something, obviously, please do” Aus said, still smiling. Rey nodded “have you ever…um...had…sex?” She asked. Aus was surprised. Confusion ran across her face, but she could see that Rey was so uncomfortable. “why do you ask?” Aus replied.

Rey fumbled with her hands a bit “I don’t know…I don’t know how to…do any of it….and don’t know if I should…” she stumbled. “well, are you thinking you might have sex with someone?” Aus asked. “well, I don’t know. Poe and I have kissed a few times in the last week and, well…I’ve been thinking about it, but I don’t know if its something I should do, or if im just to old now or…” she faded off.

Aus sat there a few moments, “so you and Poe, huh? Hes actually a good guy, though we’ve our issues. But why didn’t you go to Rose about this? She’s obviously had sex, her and Finn are married, ha ha”. Rey shuttered, “uh, no. Finn is like a brother to me, I just…didn’t want that image in my head.” Both girls laughed a bit then calmed back down. “Rey, look. Its sex, its supposed to feel good for both people, if you like him, fuck him. We live in a time of war. WE could all literally die tomorrow, and it would probably be Damerons fault. Fuck him, practice makes perfect. If you’re nervous about it being your first time, that’s ok, tell him. He will understand and he will make sure that you are taken care of,” Aus finished, smiling, “but If he doesn’t, kick his ass” she added.

Rey seemed like a weight had been lifted of her shoulders at this realization that they could indeed, die tomorrow. She was happy, nerves still out of wack, but happy. “But, if you are unsure still, wait. Its ok to do that too. Because we may not die tomorrow” Aus finished. Before Rey went to lift herself from the chair, she noticed Aus smile start to fade slightly. “Its none of my business, but are you ok?” Rey asked. Aus smiled again, nodding her head. “Aus, you have, been with someone, haven’t you?” Rey inquired. The fact was, though she had done things with Kylo, they never actually got to the sex, where _he_ was actually inside her. Aus shifted her eyes, looking everywhere else, then back to Rey. “You know what, im sorry, Aus. I shouldn’t have asked. Ill just be going” she turned towards the door.

“No. Not really. Ok…No, I have not had sex with anyone. I kissed someone though,” the sadness reaching her eyes. Rey slowly returned to her seat. “Aus, there is something I really want to ask you, and it would totally stay between you and I, I just…I’ve been wondering something” Rey hesitated. Aus nodded and smiled, gesturing into the air “ask away, Rey” she said. Rey took a deep breath, “When we ran into the Order last month, and you talked our way out of being destroyed, Kylo wouldn’t take his eyes off you. He looked sooo furious, but never broke eye contact. And I was wondering…was there…ugh, I feel foolish…was there, did you guys ever…” Aus interrupted, “We were sparring partners as Finn told you. But…one day, we were more than that for a few minutes. He had me pinned down and then kissed me. We laid there for several minutes just kissing. Feeling each other and it was amazing. I wont lie. And then we…” Aus paused seeing the look of shock and awe on Rey’s face, “before you judge me, just know, when we were in that room, he was never cruel to me, and he saw me as his equal. We fought, ate, spoke and I even got him to smile and laugh a few times,” Aus finished, shrugging her shoulders.  “I know, it’s terrifying. The destroyer of the galaxy being something else for a moment in time. I know I should have done something, but it was different for me, I was raised in the order, I knew nothing else, and this monster that even we thought a monster, wasn’t always…if that makes sense? Please don’t hate me. I know how you and everyone else feels about him,” Aus shied away.

Rey stared at her in the shock and awe, maybe a little bit of horror. The thought that anyone could say anything kind of Kylo Ren was beyond her, but the only thing that really came to Reys mind at this moment, “it sounds like you were really close, did you care for him?” Aus didn’t hesitate for a moment, “Yes, foolishly enough,” Aus replied emabarrassed. Rey kept staring, “So…what is it that you…uh…did?” Rey understandably curious. “Well…ha ha…he uh…we…he rubbed _himself_ against me _there_ and we both…” Aus smiled, embarrassed. Both Rey and Aus stared at each other with red faces and began to giggle uncontrollably. 

 After a few moments passed, Rey spoke, “Wow…well…I guess there’s that. No wonder you weren’t into Poe…I mean, Kylo Ren is something all different.” Aus eyes snapped to her in fear, Rey could see “I didn’t mean, im not suggesting that you would, I know that you only…” Aus cut her off “HA ha ha, don’t worry, I know what you meant. In any case it doesn’t matter. My heart belongs to someone named Ben and Kylo knew it. Ben’s gone now, lost somewhere. Sometimes I feel like he may come back, but I know in my heart, that he wont, at least not in this life, as much as I wish everyday that he would. And Kylo is a monster, and that is what he wishes to be. There is no room for love in a monster consumed by darkness and ambition. He will always choose that, never me.”

Rey felt so sad for the girl, her friend, who sat before her, trying to hide the sadness and tears behind a confident smile. “I am always here for you, if you need to talk, no judgement, no matter how I hate the loathsome creature,” Rey said as she exited the room. Aus knew her words to be true, but knew she probably wasn’t going to be able to have THAT conversation with Rey, but the gesture was nice.


	34. Spectacle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Its been 4 months since the attack on the _Finalizer_ and 1 years since Aus had been out of the Order. The Resistance came in to contact with Order again and this time there was no negotiation. The Resistance retreated with out as much of a battle as they could, only losing a few lifes in the action. The Base was compromised and now the rebels were on their way to a new temporary home.

It took a few days, but the Resistance was able to make it to their new base without any problems since the _Supremacy_ was destroyed along with the hyperspace tracker a year ago, it had since been rebuilt. This time, the Resistance was ready and out before it could get there.

Upon seeing several ships escaping the planet below, Hux grew even more enraged. ‘They should have been dead months ago, Ren is weak!’ he thought to himself. Then Hux continued to maul over so many thoughts of things he would enjoy doing to Ren, when the time comes, ‘What a weak fool’.

Only a few days after settling into their new base in the middle of a jungle, Leia came to Aus. “I need you to pack for a few days and meet me on the _Falcon_ in 1 hour” She ordered then continued towards her office. Aus was unsettled by this. Was she in trouble? Was she finally getting kicked out for her connection with Kylo, that hadn’t happened in months…He was so close to owning the entire galaxy, what could Leia possibly think Aus could give him? But she did as she was told, packing her things, all her things.

Aus met Leia at the Falcon. “What are you doing, Aus? Packing for the end of times?” Leia laughed. Leia explained they were going to Naboo to try to convince the Queen, who was an old friend of hers, to help the Resistance in the fight against the Order. Leia would have come to them first, but since the Clone Wars, Naboo has been neutral, giving aid were needed or not giving aid to anyone. Naboo is known for their forces, endless resources, and Leia hopes that this last stitch of effort might just do it.

On the way to Naboo, Leia told Aus about a home she owned by a lake in town. Leia hadn’t been there in over 15 years, but the house was still tended too every month, as if no time had passed. They were not in space long when they came upon Naboo. Breaking atmosphere Leia gave her landing code and they were docked into stall 4. “Leia…” Aus halted, grabbing Leia’s shoulder urgently, “Kylo…he’s here, somewhere. I can feel him, can you?” Leia couldn’t feel Kylo, so he wasn’t close, but it was enough to startle Aus. “If the Order makes a move on us here, Naboo will take care of it. So if we are lucky, they will make a move. But they are most likely here for the same thing we are” Leia finished. “Leia, if I felt him, he sure enough felt me. I shouldn’t be here, it could compromise everything, YOU” Aus nervously spoke. Leia placed her hand on Aus and smiled, “come,” she said.  

They went to exit the _Falcon_ , only to be met by the Landing Master. “Wait here until the Queen arrives, please” He ordered. Aus was very uncomfortable with this, but Leia just smiled. The Queen arrived in style wearing a beautiful wardrobe, followed by several maids and a guard.  “Leia Organa, My dear friend, it has been far too long. Look, I have grown Queen in your absence,” The Queen smiled at Leia. The 2 women hugged each other for a moment, then Leia turned to Aus, “Zaydame, this is the Resistance Jedi, Aus.” The Queen bowed to Aus, but Aus had no idea of what to do, so she did as she did in the Order, dropped to one knee and bowed her head “Your majesty, Thank you for having the General and I.” The queen and Leia laughed, “please get up, dear child” The queen smiled a lovely smile. Leias soft smile grew wider at the innocence that was Aus. It was sweet, but not to Aus. She didn’t want to mess this up, she didn’t want to be the reason the Order got Naboo’s help instead of the Resistance.

The two women started walking and Aus followed suit. They spoke of many things, none of which Aus listened too. She was to busy looking at the buildings and people around Naboo. When they reached the castle, the Queen had servants take Leia and Aus to their shared Suite. This Suite was huge. 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, a living area and a dinning area. A large terrace for the main living room and a private terrace for each bedroom. The place was so up scale, so different than anything Aus had ever seen in her life. The differences from the Order to the Rebels bases were nothing in comparison to this. Aus investigated her room and her private bathroom, with a large tub for soaking, a fresher, toilet and sink.

Leia called Aus into the Living area, “Aus, we are here to try and sway Naboo, but the Queen is throwing a costume ball, and during this ball, we are to try and get as many people on our side as possible to pledge as well. The next few days following the party, will also consist of voting, debating and choosing. The Party is this evening and we will be getting ready in about 2 hours. Please, freshen up. The Maids will be here soon with your costume and to polish you off” Leia finished. Aus was over whelmed by what she had just heard, but she wasn’t going to not do as asked.

Aus was washed and dried when the maids entered with her costume. She tried it on, and it fit like a glove. It was a strange thing, a red sparkling dress, floor length, split up one side from ankle to hip with black lace keeping it from flying everywhere and exposing everything. The top was form fitting around the waist, and the straps gathered around her neck. A large V plunged down to her navel, again, only being held together by the same black lace on the sides. The arms were A symmetrical, 1 longer than the other. Both split down the to the wrist, one held together by strips of diamonds stopping at the elbow, allowing flutters of fabrics to fall, and the other held with same strips of diamonds holding together the red fabric down to her wrist.

She was quite the spectacle, and quiet out of her realm. She had kept her hair short and blond as she did in the Order, only allowing the sides to grow slightly so that is was not shaved. The maids fluffed her hair as much as possible and slicked back the sides. They did her make up and then finally, applied that final piece, a diamond incrusted mask. It was a half mask, covering around both eyes exposing the underside of one eye and half way down the cheek. “Here, put this on” one of the maids called out to the other. Turning Aus around, the maids had clipped something onto her back. Aus looked in the mirror when the Maid was done. Wings, she had been given wings. They were beautiful. Like that in lore of angels. They did not span out very far, which allowed moving to be easier.

Aus stood there, in disbelief that the person standing before her in the mirror, was indeed her. Leia entered the room with impeccable timing and taste of course. Her costume was subtle, but somehow Aus had finally realized, that she herself, was the show. Both Ladies left their room and headed out to the ball.


	35. silent harmony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Leia and Queen Zaydame spent at least 2 hours introducing Aus to Individual after individual. They all wanted to see the famous Jedi in all her uncomfortable glory. Aus held her poise, giving them what they wanted, small demonstrations here and there, promising a show perhaps over the next few days, but not intending on going through with it, she wasn’t show animal. “We have some business to attend to, will you be alright, Aus?” Leia asked when she leaned in. Aus felt the dred flush through her, ‘don’t leave me alone, please!’ she thought, but of course, the Resistance Jedi had to be able to hold her own, “of course Leia, I will be just fine,” she lied through her teeth. Leia had to of known, but she smiled and turned to escort ZayDame, to where ever it is they were going.

Aus was terrified of very few things but being in a gathering of people she didn’t know, in something that was not her, this situation about topped her list. She made her way to the buffet table, hoping to find something edible there, something that she could keep down. A few people stopped her, tried to speak with her about politics, but Aus was not the person to speak to about it. She had her views and she did not want to make waves with people she was trying to gain support from. She wished Leia was here. ‘Oh Gods’ She screamed in her head. Holding a piece of bread to her lips, she turned, searching, he was here somewhere, his force signature was so strong.

There was a sea of people, she couldn’t see where he was, the masks hid the identities of most and the bare faces were none of his. Panic struck her, ‘please, don’t find me’ she kept repeating to herself as she tried to make her way around the table to exit. Aus could feel he was panicking too. She checked her thigh to make sure she still had her lightsaber just in case. People stood in her way, not letting her pass, she didn’t want to fight now, it wasn’t the time. The Resistance needed this. The music continued playing, it felt like the band was blasting, but It was only her own heart beating with in her chest. His hand found the small of her back, slightly wrapped around the side, “did you miss me, Jedi?”, her heart stopped.

Kylo leaned around her wings, lips inches from her ear as he whispered. Aus dare not look to him, she tried to stand tall, ignore his presence, they have had nothing for a while now, there was nothing and it always ended badly, but the rush of longing passed through them both. Aus didn’t say anything as they stood there. “Dance with me, Aus?” he whispered to her again, sliding his free hand down to her own. She turned to him at that, they were there together, a real dance, and maybe no one knew who he was under the mask?

Aus gave up on control over herself at this point, she followed him as he led her to the center of the dance floor. He walked slowly backwards, never taking his eyes off her, leading her. She let him lead her, like she always does. It wasn’t that he had a power over her, she wanted to go and she knew he wanted to as well. They want to pretend in their moments that it will be ok and that they would be allowed one more, just one more.

He took her hands in his, like in her room that night only this time, they danced to something that wasn’t a sad goodbye. They swayed, they moved. “You look absolutely breath taking, Jedi” He spoke, only loud enough for the two of them to hear. She couldn’t take her eyes off his as they moved. He was in a black and red abstract tuxedo, his face was hidden beneath a black half mask, similar to hers, only his had two horns, one both sides of his forehead. The beautiful devil to her angel.

The dancing was other worldly, he held her like no one was watching, and she held him. He leaned his head into her neck slightly and she arched her head backward, slightly away, making room for him. In her this moment of ecstasy, she opened her eyes, only to witness every eye in the room on them. They all knew who they were. The Leader of the Order and the Jedi of the Resistance, dancing sensually in the middle of this ball room. “they are all staring, they know, Ben!” Aus frantically whispered, snapping her head to look into his eyes. Kylo looked up only with his eyes, they both still twirling together, then he looked back to her “let them watch, I don’t care..Please, Aus?” “Yes, Ben” she whispered and with that she rolled her head back again as they continued fantasy.

The song finally ended after nearly a half hour, neither wanted it to end, but as usual, it always had too. They pulled away from one another and bowed to each other in social thanking. Aus was not heartbroken this time, she finally got her time, it was real and it was everything. They stood there staring at one another for a few moments more, until they were interrupted by a small gentleman seeking the Jedis attention. Aus looked back up to Ben, but he was gone, she could feel him, but he was gone, and now it felt just like the ending of every time they had together. The small man started speaking of the jedi he knew from many years ago, Aus was listening, until she felt the hand on the small of her back again and lips against her ear “meet me, in 20 minutes, please...” he whispered as he passed an image into her mind of where to rendezvous. Then his touch was gone.

Aus tried to listen to the small mans on goings of what he thought the Jedi were and what they should be, but Aus stopped him, “I am so sorry, sir. I am needed else where at the moment, may we continue this conversation at a later time?” she politely asked. He smiled and nodded, trotting off. Aus stood straight up, eyes flashing around the room again, she did not see, Ben, but did see the Queen and Leia. Aus smiled and they returned to where they walked in from. She tried to make her way to a corridor off the ball room, the one Ben had shown her, But was stopped by a tall, very masked man. “A dance, Please, miss Jedi?” the voice called to her.

She could not feel this figures presence, it was unsettling, but she smiled as she did, and took his hands. He didn’t say anything, only danced with her, trying to twirl her around, but it was hard not having Ben in her mind to show her how to move. She made the best of it as she could and it worked, but she felt Ben now, his jealousy thrown across the room. Aus looked to the corridor and there he was, peering out from within it. Aus wanted nothing more than to drop this man and go to him, but she was there for business, and that meant she had to do what she needed.

“Excuse me sir, I am needed else where at the moment, may we pick this up at a later time?” She used the same line on this man as she did the little one. He gracefully bowed and brought her hand to his masked mouth to emulate a kiss to the hand. Aus didn’t know what to do, but she let him, is this a customary thing? She asked herself. Either way, he was finished and Aus, as gracefully as she could, made her way towards the corridor, this time, uninterrupted.

“What is it, Ben?” she asked as she saw him. They were well hidden in this dark, empty hall. If anyone were to see them, they could be anyone to first glances. Ben was steaming, looking from her and back to the opening to the room they had left. “I should kill him, whomever that was. He touched you, kissed you” he sneered through his teeth. Aus held hands on his chest and only stared into his eyes. This seemed to help, his rage had subsided and was replaced with a sense of calm. “Stay with me tonight?” He asked softly, cupping her cheek. Aus leaned into his hand. “I can’t leave the party. You know why I’m here and I should be doing what I came to do. You know that,” she sadly spoke.

Ben nodded, he knew. He was there for the same thing, but this was to important to pass up. “Please? No one will miss us. At this point they have all eaten and drank themselves into oblivian, they are just walking around empty minded, believe me, I looked. They won’t remember” He said factly, but the hint of begging in his voice was hard to miss. Aus sighed, turning towards the lit room, searching herself for the answer. Ben lightly touched her face from behind, wrapping his arm around her midsection. “please??” he barely breathed out “It is the last thing I will ever ask of you.” At these words, Aus knew this was it.

They walked further away from the lit room, only to find them selves at opposite end of the palace. They stopped in front of a giant, engraved door. Holding hands they entered the room glued to the others eyes, never blinking once.

*** ** _Aus reached up and removed the mask that hid that beautiful face. One by one, they removed the others costume. Her mask dropping to the floor, his black midsection sash, his jacket, her wings, then his vest. He turned her around to help unzip her from her dress. She slid her arms out and let the top half of the dress fall, stopping at her hips. She turned back to Ben who was unbuttoning his red, long sleeve dress shirt. That too fell to the floor. Aus took a deep breath and slid the rest of the dress off her body, along with her underthings, revealing her complete nakedness to him. Ben stared in awe, mesmerized by this moment, trying to keep her in his mind. He undid his black pants and let them slide down, releasing his engorged cock. Now standing there in front of one another, staring up and down the other. Their bodies glistening in the moonlight that peeked through the ceiling high windows._**

**_Ben stepped closer to Aus, taking her face in his hands and not waiting a minute more. Their mouths met in a hurried frenzy. Aus grabbed his cock in one hand and with her other hand grabbed his side and dug her nails in. Ben hitched in his breath, stuttering in their kiss. He swooped her up in his arms and walked them to the bed, both falling onto it. Now laying on her back beneath this massive, confusing, beautiful man, she wanted nothing more than tonight. All is forgotten, except them, they at the very least, deserve this moment, because they knew, the final fight would come sooner than they hoped._ **

**_Ben held on to her, making sure to always have his hands on her somewhere while he ran his tongue and lips down her body. He stopped in the crease of her short soft curls and enhaled. She smelled so sweet, her scent was amplified this time, and it made him feel crazy. Ben Parted her folds and dove his tongue right in. He slid a finger into her while he circled the button above her opening with his tongue. Aus went completely and joyously tense. She couldn’t help but let out moans and giggles. ‘OOhhh Gods, the sounds she makes’ Ben thought to himself._ **

**_This time, he was going to get her very ready for him. Ben slowly entered a second finger into her. She tensed slightly more at the slight pain it caused, but it was only for a second, then she was back to moaning. Ben thrust his fingers in and out of her while lapping her clit with his tongue. “Oh Ben, Oh Gods, Ben!” Aus moaned out loudly. He could feel her pleasure rising and ready to peak, their bond was completely open and she saw it all, everything he wanted of her, to do to her, for her to do to him. The thoughts were over-whelming and she couldn’t hold on any longer “just let go, StarLight, my love,” He whispered through their bond. And she did. Aus came undone around his fingers, in his mouth and she shuttered, body pulsing from her climax. Her breathing heavily, panting like she had just run a marathon. Ben jumped to his hands and knees, pushing himself to her face, taking her mouth with his. Aus opening her legs wider, inviting, begging him to finally come in. Ben looked down at her, this time, neither had to ask permission, this was it and they were sure of it._ **

**_Ben angled himself at the entrance where his fingers had once been. Aus was still pulsing slightly, nervous but wanting. Ben eased his cock into her, holding her face in both hands. He wanted to see her, how he made her feel. He was bigger than the two fingers he had entered her, but she welcomed it, grabbing him by the hips to hurry him in deeper. Ben thrust into her completely. Hitting the base of his cock. They both cried out into the night at the feeling, the immense pleasure physically, but even more so, there was so much emotion and the swarming of the force around them, so strong, they could feel everything._ **

**_They could feel the life, the death around them, they could feel what the other felt, thought, wanted, needed, ached for, memories, endless futures, they could feel the balance. Ben started thrusting into her, softly at first, then speeding up. They had found their rhythm. They were finally doing this, and it felt so right. No force or power in this life could take this away from them. Ben had the most precious thing in existence below him, and she was letting him into her, be with her._ **

**_He was going to give her everything. He swore it to himself. He halted completely and grabbed her face again, staring into it, searching it, her eyes glazed over, mouth parted with heavy panting and wanting, he leaned into her mouth, but barely touched her lips with his, he stared directly into her eyes now, he wanted her to hear him and know him to be true, “I…love…you, Aus…I love you….so much” He gasped out. Aus stared in shock. He finally said the one thing she wanted, the only thing she didn’t know she wanted, and she knew that he was completely and utterly honest with her. No ulterior motives, no hidden agendas, he wanted her to know, finally. “Ben, I love you, I always loved you” She whispered out into his mouth. They brought their kiss to a connect. Ben and Aus felt a shift in the force, in each other and now they were whole, complete._ **

**_Ben picked back up his speed and Aus encouraged it. He felt so amazing. She felt so amazing. “switch me,” she pleaded with him. Ben didn’t deny her, he stopped, laid on his back, “AAHhh” Ben exhaled as she slid herself back onto him. Now rocking her hips back and forth, her pert little breasts slighty bouncing against the rhythm, ‘is this heaven’ he asked himself. He was so deep, he could feel all of her. He massaged her breasts, slightly twisting her nipples between his fingers, Aus squealing at the sensation and squeezing around his cock tighter. She leaned forward, rocking her hips into him, grinding, Ben took a nipple into his mouth and she couldn’t stop moaning._ **

**_It was almost to much for him, but he didn’t want this to be over just yet for him. Ben slid one of his hands between them to find her clit once more and began to rock his hand against her. Aus almost couldn’t move, the feeling of his hand on her clit, on her hip helping her and his mouth on her breast. Aus couldn’t stop the intense squeezing around his cock, and he couldn’t hold it anymore, “please, Love, cum with…me” he managed to get out pulling his face from her breast. He didn’t have to tell her twice, they locked in a kiss again and whether it was his orgasm or hers, it was met with such an explosive intensity that when they climaxed and she dropped to his chest, unable to breathe, the crashing of things around things around them was the only thing pulling them into reality._ **

**_As soon as they found the strength to move, Ben and Aus sat up and looked around. Tables and randoms things had been knocked over. They both laughed at the thought that their fucking was so intense that they lifted the things around them, not knowing. Ben couldn’t get over her laughing, her smiling, and he did this to her, for once, he actually made her happy. No heart break tonight, is all he begged inside. He took her into his arms and started kissing her shoulders, she purred into him. They continued their love and fucking until early into the mornin_** g.*****

It was still dark when she finally fell asleep. Ben Didn’t sleep much and didn’t want to wake to find her gone, so he just watched her sleep. He always wondered what she looked like, not dying, while she slept. This has been the greatest event in his existence. The love he felt for her poured from him. HE loved her for so long and hated himself for keeping it from her. It would have made things harder though, and he knew he didn’t deserve it. The last thing this monster deserved was to love or have the privilege of being loved. The Darkness tried to seep into his thoughts once again, but he pushed them out, he let her light engulf him, and it was so sorely welcomed, like an old friend.

 Ben searched the compound with the force, feeling out the life and finding that everyone was hung over. He took this opportunity to slide ever so slowly from her grip and order food to the suite. Aus woke when the sun peeked through the windows, it was unavoidable, the day had come. She turned to find Ben gone and she wasn’t surprised. She had just hoped that he would wait for her, before leaving. “Are you hungry?” he asked, peeking around the corner from the door. Aus smiled so big, she could hardly stop herself. It wasn’t a dream or a force moment or a lie, they were still there, together, while the rest of the world slept. Ben ran into the room, jumping onto the bed, taking her mouth into a kiss. They had morning breath, but right now, they were just so besides themselves that this was real, at least for a little while longer.

Ben pulled Aus to the living space where they were met with a table full of all kinds of foods.  “I didn’t really know what you liked, well…” he wrapped his hand around the back of his neck, a huge smirk on his face “except bacon, that is.” Aus smiled and kissed him once more, then they sat at the table next to one another, munching on the different foods upon it. Their legs entertwined with the others as they ate. After breakfast, Ben and Aus made their way to the bathroom and into the fresher.

*** ** _The fresher was huge and easily fit both of them. Aus watched as the water glistened, running down bens massive, muscular body. His body always enticed her, rose her body temperature, but now, his body only just keeps her turned on. They made out under the water and out of the water. Touching, needing, wanting. Pawing at each other. Aus stopped Ben and ducked her head into to his chest. She met if with soft lips. Much as he had done to her, she trailed down from his chest to his navel, with her tongue and lips. Aus dropped to her knees, looking up to the even more massive figure above her. Ben just watched, afraid to move, hands at his side._**

**_Aus gripped his now erect cock, looking at him as it was in her hand, this time no exploring. Aus slid her tongue along the top of his cock. Bens body shivered at the new sensation shooting from there. His cock twitched in her hand. Aus liked the feeling it gave him, she could feel it. This time, she took the head and a little part of the cock into her mouth, as far as she could go. Bens knees almost buckled under him. He braced himself against the wall behind him. Their bond had grown substantially since last night, and now she was deriving just as much pleasure from this as he was. Aus was so incredibly wet but wanted this to be about him only._ **

**_She continued sliding her mouth back and forth around his throbbing cock, using a free hand to wrap around the shaft and stroke at the same rhythm as her mouth. Her slick tongue slid over the head of his cock, he was breaching on climax now, she wanted him so badly to cum, to make him swim in complete ecstasy. Ben placed his hands on her head, holding her, he fought the urge to force her down, but Aus saw what he wanted and forced him deeper into her throat. He was done, He gripped her head as she moved and he tensed with great intensity inside her. Grunts and pulsing coming from him as he orgasmed._ **

**_Bens hot cum running down her throat. He stilled. Aus pulled him from inside her, wiping her mouth and smiling softly up to him. Then suddenly he picked her up, turned her around and shoved himself inside her dripping wet pussy. He pounded at her, holding her hips while she braced herself against the wall. He was going to own her, now and forever, likes she owns him. Aus let out a moaning scream with every thrust. He was a monster and the best kind inside her. She was so turned on already, now he pounded and pounded into her, forcing more pleasure grunts and moans from her, She didn’t want it to end, ever… until she came around his cock, harder than she had during the night.***_ **

Aus and Ben dropped to their knees as he kissed her hard. ‘Everything she deserves’ He thought to himself again.

After the shower, Aus retrieved her costume, slipping on the dress again, with Bens help. After zipping it up, “I wish you didn’t have to go” Ben whispered to her, his eyes beginning to water as he pressed his forehead to hers. “I know, me too.” She said. Ben dressed in his usual Order clothing. He watched her as she put her shoes back on and grabbed her mask and wings. “I think I should go out the back, I don’t want anyone to see,” Aus said, walking towards the back door of the bedroom. She opened the door, stepped out, looked back to Ben, there were no words now, sadness filled the air, the force was silent, and these two lonely hearts that the universe needs so badly, are lonely and aching again.

Aus closed the door, walked down the stairs to the sidewalk and around the corner towards the other end of the Palace where her shared suite with Leia was. When she turned the corner, a hand grabbed her fiercely, forcing her to turn, “I love you, Aus. And one day, when we are far far from here, and there is no more Order, no more Resistance, no more war, I will give you everything I can to make you happy. I will love you for eternity in that cabin by the lake in the middle of the forest somewhere that you dream about…if you let me,” Ben frantically spewed out, taking her in for a kiss again and breaking away, hoping to see the same on her face or through their bond or form her own words. He meant every word.

 “What, what are you saying, Ben?” trying to rationalize her thoughts at his words. Ben thought for a moment before speaking, “Just know, that one day, we will be free from all this.” Aus tried to hold back her tears of joy? But she couldn’t, she loved him, and that was that. She wanted what he said to be true but couldn’t help and think for a second that it was just a nice fantasy they both now shared. “I love you, Ben” They kissed once more then she turned and headed towards her room.


	36. sash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Aus reached her terrace, quietly opened her door and slid in. No one seemed to be up yet, which was great for her. She got out of the dress, placed everything on to a chair in the corner and went to the bathroom to wash up, for real this time.

Aus dressed in her normal attire, it was clean this time and she was happy for it. For the first time, she doesn’t feel sorrow after departing from Ben. She went over and over in her head about what he could have possibly meant, but he never showed her, told her, so its all guessing that she needed to stop right now. She went back to the costume that she placed on the chair and lifted the mask to reveal a black sash. Thinking that it was going to be the last time she saw Ben like that, she swiped the sash from his costume. She didn’t know what she planned to do with it, but now she knew. She went to the mirror and wrapped her forearm with it, “perfect” she said to herself.

Aus left her room and met with Leia in the living area, at the table. “Good morning, Aus. You left the Ball early, are you feeling alright?” Leia spoke softly. Aus treaded lightly, hoping Leia didn’t know, anything, “I’m exhausted, but slightly hopeful”. Aus wasn’t hungry but picked at a few things to make sure Leia saw her eating. “Aus, we have a luncheon to go to this late morning, are you up for? Its going to be a bunch of boring stuff, debating, talking,” Leia said. Aus nodded her head, she understood.

Both women left the confines of the suite and walked the halls towards the conference room. “I am sorry I left you when I did last night, Aus. It was not my intention, were you alright?” Leia asked. Aus nodded, not wanting to say anything that might give her away, “I may owe a few people a continued conversation I don’t want to have, but other than that, I seemed to do alright. Was your meeting ok?” Aus inquired back. Leia Nodded smiling, “Yes, that is also why we are invited to this luncheon this morning.” Silence followed them for a while, until Leia spoke again, “you are quite the dancer, Aus.” Aus felt like the hallway was closing in on her. “I guess, people kept asking and I couldn’t turn them down. Anything for the Resistance, Leia. Even if that means making a fool of myself on the dancefloor,” Aus tried to be light about it.

When they entered the room, Aus was ushered to her seat and Leia to hers. “Are we not sitting together, Leia?” Aus asked worriedly. Leia told her the Queen was to have her friend at her side, and because of council members, etc. Aus had to be moved down 2 seats. They were seated at a very long table with chairs on both sides. The Queen was at the head of this table and Leia in the seat to her right. The queen had not yet arrived, nor had many of the guests. There was seating for 21, Aus counted. Not wanting to be there, Aus watched as time went by slowly when each person arrived. Finally, she felt him, not wanting it to be this soon to see him, she was secretly pleased, at least she hoped.

Ben was seated in the chair across from Aus and one to the left. He felt butterflies in his stomach as he saw her, it was as if fate had intervened again and here they were, so close. They tried to ignore one another but found it difficult. After a few minutes, Ben stood, went to greet someone at the end of the table and came back, this time taking the seat directly across from her. No one seemed to notice. Aus had her hands in her lap, she was a nervous wreck. She was happy to see Ben, but now she felt like a traitor. No one can know, they wouldn’t understand.

Finally Leia re-entered the room, her eyes locked on Bens and Bens on hers. The sorrow, the hate, the love, the feeling of abandonment, and above all, the hurt that passed through them. Leia went to her seat, standing as she was followed in by the Queen, which at this point, everyone stood. Ben couldn’t rip his eyes from his mother, nor could Leia from her son. The Queen greeted all and everyone sat. Leia tried to conversate with the Queen and the people surrounding her, but Ben never looked away. Aus force slapped his thigh, breaking his trance. She opened the bond and forced through what she could, “don’t you dare. I WILL kill you here and now if you touch her”. He tried to calm his rage, his face was reddened with hatred but after a deep breath, regained his normal, pale color.

There was talking all around them, some tried to speak to Aus, some spoke to Ben, but neither could concentrate with the other so close. Aus leaned on her hand, elbow on the table to keep herself from falling asleep listening to the small man that found her. He spoke of traders he once knew and the rebels 40 years prior. Ben in a last stitch of effort to keep his head about him, slid his foot out to Aus, attempting to find her, to open the bond fully. Aus felt a tap on the side of her foot and slid hers out to him. They pressed their legs to each other and the bond opened. “Is that my sash on your arm?” Ben asked through the bond. Aus, not breaking her eyes from the small man, smiled sheepishly, “I’m borrowing it” she replied mischievously.

Over the next hour, they had sweet little useless banter back and forth and no one was the wiser. “I’m going to fuck you again, hard, ‘til you scream my name, begging me to stop and release you” Ben sent through. Aus turned red as images of them flooded her mind. She could feel his amusement. She wanted those things. But she had one better. They found after awhile, they didn’t need to touch any longer to be connected. Aus waited until Ben was talking with someone again, to send it. She heard Ben stop breathing and cough out. Aus had always had a fantasy about getting fucked by him in the mask, cape, the whole thing; on Snokes throne, in front of General Hux while he powerlessly watched as he died slow, painful death.

Ben calmed himself down after nearly choking on his own breath. “That was not funny” he spit out through their bond, “but you shall have it, if you want” he followed up. The blood in their bodies ran hot with need. “if I fucked you on this table right now, threw you down and buried my cock so far in you, do you think these brainless bags of life would notice? Or would they just continue chatting about their favorite cheeses?” Kylo non-chalantly thought. Aus giggled at his comment, not being able to keep it inside. Ben Smiled.

“Thank you all for joining me this late morning,” The queen said rising. Everyone rose and the bond was broken between them again. It was ok though, its been more than they thought theyd ever get.

Ben and Aus followed as people started to flow out the door. Leia lay in wait for Aus at her seat. “Where to now, Leia?” Aus asked as she joined her. Leia was about to speak, Ben stopped across the table, staring at his mother and glancing at his lover. Aus was prepared to fight him off if she had too. He knew it. Aus shook her head so slightly, hoping he’d get the message. There was no one in the room now, just them. Leia held her poise, but was dying inside, that she couldn’t hide from Aus, nor could she hide it from Ben. Aus moved her hand near the saber on her hip. Ben looked at her, down to the saber then to Leia, “Always the protector, Jedi?” He hissed. Aus spit back at him “always for those in need. I will I always fight for the ones I love.” Kylo’s face switched slightly as he let out a huff. He looked back and forth for a moment more than left the room.


	37. The market

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

No were words spoken between Aus and Leia on the way back to their suite. And Aus was glad for it. Once they returned to the room, Leia stopped her “I have several meetings to attend today. Is there anything you would like to do, or need?” Aus thought for a few moments, “I would love to see the city. Ive never been in a city before, well, that I wasn’t…” Aus said non chalantly. Sometimes Leia forgets where Aus came from, she fits in so well with her Resistance bunch, and her heart is so strong of someone so loyal to a fault, doesn’t seem like a First Order trait, but she guessed there was Finn as well, and he is the same way. “You won’t be able to go out as you, you will be bombarded and probably have a run in with the Order. Let me get you some help,” Leia smiled then made a call on her comm.

As they waited, Leia asked Aus “Since we’ve landed, have you had and force connections with, Kylo? Being this close in proximity?” Aus shook her head and assured Leia is she were to have any force moments with Ben that she would tell her. Aus knew she was really bending the truth, but it was true they hadn’t had any. Leia bid farewell and exited the room.

A few minutes later the maids came in to help her. Dressing her in a white gown, this time covering her chest all the way to her neck. The sleeves were long but had a slit from the shoulder to the elbow on each arm.  “What was it with these people and dress slits?” she said outloud. It was plain other-wise and she was happy for it.

Next the maids dawned a Long brown wig. The hair reached her navel. Half of the hair was pulled back into several braids and a bun. A simple white necklace like jewelry was weaved in and out of the hair strands that came to a V at her forehead with a small opal gem. Very light makeup applied to her face. And finally, a lightly tanned robe to wear over it all. She was told she is to resemble a lower courtier. The maids gave her a card with credits on it and off she went.

In the Market of Naboo there were so many vendor stalls. Police walked everywhere, and the people roamed together. Storm troopers paid no mind to anyone passing by. There were so many different types of creatures and beings filling this place, it was wonderful. Taking her time, Aus searched the vendor stalls for nothing in particular and just enjoyed herself.

An hour or so passed, she figured she’d stay out until everything closed down. She felt somewhat guilty that she was here enjoying herself, in so many ways, and her friends were at the new base, fearing the Order would find them. ‘Ugh, why did things always have to be so complicated?’ she thought and let out a sigh.

Aus found a stand with beautiful hand carved pieces all around. Necklaces, bracelets, bracers, earrings, etc. “These are absolutely breathtaking” she told the vendor. The vendor nodded and stood. She was a tall slender woman with giant eyes, defiantly not human, but she was so kind. “My child, thank you. I hand carved all these items. There may be similar items but nothing I create is identical. Please let me know if you have any questions,” she finished, smiling sweetly. Aus looked over all the pieces in her stall, but always came back to one specific peice. A black leather necklace, anchored by a half white, half black stone that twisted around the other incircled in a bluish grey hue stone. It was so small. Aus stared at it. It felt familiar. “Oh, that is one of my favorites. Are you familiar with the force, dear?” the woman asked. Aus nodded, “only slightly.”

The woman seemed excited to tell her about the piece, pulling it down to better show her. “The force is made up of 2 parts, the light (pointing to the white side) and the dark (pointing the black stone). And everything in between, (pointing to the blue). This necklace represents perfect balance. There can be no light without the dark, and there can be no dark without the light. It resides in all of us. We all would like to think we are good or pure 100% of the time, but we all do things or have thoughts that are not always the case. I am not of the force, but I can tell you that lately, well, the force has not been in balance, it is time, don’t you think?” The woman smiled softly again. Aus was lost in her words, ‘its me and Ben’ she thought. A smile came to her face, “thank you,” she said as she looked back to the woman.

Aus contemplated buying the beautiful necklace, but she would have no use for such things like that. “She will take it” a voice came from behind her. ‘How does he always find her?’ she thought. She turned to meet his face, only…it wasn’t him, not really. He was wearing a short blond wig, it showed his ears, oh my gods, his big stuck out ears. They were the most adorable things she had ever seen, and now fully realizes why he wears his hair long. No one would take orders from some that looked like that. He also dawned blonde facial hair, his scar hidden, but his eyes still the same. He was in all grey and brown. It was strange to see him in a different color.

“Ben?” Aus smiled both thrilled and confused. She could feel him, so she knew it was him. “I’m sorry I am late, Star Light” He cooed as he walked closer to her “I ran into my mother”. No one knew his given name, and it was so plain that no one who did, would think the wiser. He twirled her like a dance and clasped his arms around her waist as she stopped. His front and her back together. “My wife will take that, what she was looking at” he said. Aus froze, ‘Wife?’ she thought. ‘Just go with it, we aren’t ourselves today, we can be anybody’ he thought to her. “Your handsome husband has fine taste, miss.” The woman smiled as she wrapped up the piece. Aus stretched out her hand to pay for the item, but Ben had beat her to it. “Thank you, Sir” the woman spoke.

Moving on the the next stall, Aus pulled Ben into an alley between stalls, “how did you find me? Did you know I was here?” Aus demanded. Ben looked at her, trying to figure out if she was being serious or not, “I may have found out from a maid leaving your room on my way to a meeting” he responded. Aus face went blank, there was no way a maid told him unless he used a mind trick. What a dickhead. “Wait, a meeting? Shouldn’t you be at that?” she replied. “I went for a few hours, but...this was much more appealing and it wasn’t necessary for me to stay” he finished. She thought for a moment, causiously, then reached her hand out and they went about their day in the market.


	38. a dream with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

Nighttime fell fast, Ben thought he would take Aus to eat. They went to a place that served something called ‘pizza’. Bread with sauce and things topped on it. Aus thought it was strange but was assured by Ben that she would love it. They found a spot on the grass by the community lake in the center of town and sat. They both ate a piece, watching the world go by. Aus had never seen anything like this. Ben took her by the hand and held it.

“We have another luncheon in the morning with the Queen tomorrow,” he said as if they were going together. They just glanced at each other, thinking up foul thoughts they could for the game tomorrow. Smiling and giggling they took another bite of pizza. “This is really kriffing good, you were right,” Aus admitted. Ben smiled and stole a kiss, “I know”. She never thought she would see this side of him, that he could have this side. It took him a few hours, but now he was playful and unguarded, and it was everything. “You look radiant, Aus. But, I like you, the way you are, normally,” He had a hard time speaking. “I feel the same way. About myself, and you” she replied.

They finished their supper and walked hand in hand around the lake. The walkway was slightly illuminated by soft lights. Ben spoke about calligraphy and Aus spoke about drawing. She never knew that he would do something so old fashioned, so non darkside like. But he said he enjoyed it, and it seemed to help in his saber precision as well. Ben loves knowing that Aus drew and that she loves it. She had started drawing on flimsy since she’d been staying in the random bases with the Resistance and loves the detail and the precision it gives her in her art in comparison to a datapad.

They spoke of things each enjoyed, Ben remembering things he actually liked to do years ago, almost forgetting. “When Snoke was in my head, I couldn’t think of anything other than darkness, only destruction and the hate, oh and the things that only Snoke wanted. He made me believe so many things that were wrong. I killed…” Ben stopped, not ready to talk about that just yet. Aus tried to change the subject “Ben, did you mean what you said? That you wanted to be with me, in the small cabin by the lake in a forest somewhere?” Her eyes hopeful.

Ben stared into her brown eyes, easing away the pain of his fathers death, “yes. I meant it with every fiber of my being, love” he whispered. “How?” she replied just as softly. They were holding their hands at their chests now. Staring into the other’s eyes. Ben wanted to tell her everything, but didn’t want to get her hopes up just yet, he was still working it out for himself. “Soon, I can tell you, when I know. I am so sorry I can’t tell you now. Just know that it is true,” He begged kissing her hands. Aus nodded and they embraced one another.

The hour grew late, and the two grew tired. Ben offered to walk her back to her terrace, since no one would recognize him, and she gladly accepted. They talked some more about flying and combat. Ben spoke of far away places with beaches and tiny towns. She wanted to visit these places, Ben wanted to take her to them.

They finally reached the terrace, noticing their walking slowing as it came into sight. “See you in the morning?” She asked him. He smiled and nodded, of course he would be there. They kissed so softly, hands gentle around the other, “goodnight, StarLight…I love you.” He whispered in her ear. “I love you, Ben. Goodnight.”

Aus disrobed, removing her wig, her robe and her dress. She showered for a while and cleaned up her face. She was crawling into bed when she had a knock on her terrace door. Unsure, she approached slowly, then she felt him again, “Ben, what are you doing here, I thought you were going to be…” He stopped her mouth with a kiss, and that was it. They were in her bed.

Ben had made it to his room, changed and decided to go for a walk, he was to fluttery to sleep. The day had shown him what could have been and it both bothered him and pleased him. He should have checked in on Hux, but wound up at her door instead. And now, he was kissing the Jedi only 100ft away from his mother, in the Jedi’s bed. He was so fucked. And he loved it. They made slow love that night and afterwards just laid there, kissing and holding each other.

The morning came to quickly. Aus woke first, Ben still sleeping. He was so precious when he slept. She knew she should wake him, but just a moment more. “Ben, you have to wake up, you fell asleep. You’ve gotta go” she poked at him. Bens eyes slowly woke up, looking to her like she was crazy, then sleepily looked around the room, “oh yeah, this isn’t my room” he said, then rolled over and grabbed her, tucking her under him. “Ben, this is not the time, your mother is going to come and wake me any moment. If she finds the Supreme Leader in my bed, I don’t think it will go over so well, get up,” she breathlessly tried to get out while struggling out from his tight grip. This woke him up, “fuck, oh that, ok.” Ben rolled out of bed, pulling on his shirts, zipping up his pants. He pulled on his boots and that’s when they heard it, “Aus, dear, are you awake?” Aus and Ben shot glances at each other, “oh shit!” they said in unison. She hurried Ben to the terrace door, looking out to make sure there was no one around before shoving him out. “love you, bye.” They said in unison again and kissed goodbye, “go!” Aus frantically whispered out. Ben ran off.

Aus ran to her bed and unlatched the door with the force before Leia reached it, “come in” Aus said before Leias hand was on the door. “Aus, you are awake, I thought..” Leia looked around the room, “I thought I heard voices, are you ok?” she inquired. “yes, im fine, just kind of cursing the sun, the morning came too quickly. Is food here already, or do I have time to shower?” Aus asked. Leia walked in and sat on the edge of the bed, “How did you sleep?”. Aus was confused at this question, but answered “just fine, actually the best sleep ive gotten in a long time. These beds are the best thing ive ever laid in. better than Order dorms and rebel bases, ha ha”. Leia smiled and laughed, “that is very true. Yes you have time to shower. We have another luncheon today…”Leia paused,  “Oh that is beautiful,” she pointed to the necklace Aus wore. “Oh, I got this yesterday in the market, it’s a representation of the force, it is beautiful, thank you” Aus explained.

Leia smiled, grabbing Aus by the hand and shaking it in slight adoration. Leia went to stand and Aus noticed one of Bens’ gloves on the floor, sticking out just from under the chair. Aus rose to meet Leia, standing next to the woman, trying to keep her eyes on her own. “So, what am I to do today, Leia?” as quickly asked, while trying to usher the woman to the door, kicking Bens glove under the chair, out of sight as she walked by.

The itinerary was the same as yesterday but tomorrow would change. Aus nodded, as Leia left the room “ok, I will see you in a few minutes,” then closed the door. Aus ran to the glove, finding the other near the terrace door. ‘There is no way Leia didn’t see that’ uuggh. “fuck” Aus kicked through her teeth. She grabbed the gloves and shoved them into her bag, seeing Bens black robe shirt she wore on ach-to. ‘Man, just need a pair of pants and my collection is complete’ just kicking herself, she really wanted to get caught.

After her shower, she dressed as normal, wrapping her arm in the black sash and making her way to the table and meet Leia. “Good morning, now,” Aus sheepishly said. Leia greeted her with a smile, and then her smile faded. “Being here with Ben so close and not being able to reach him, not being able to be a mother to him, talk to him without his constant want to kill me, it’s very difficult. I feel like I can feel him almost everywhere,” Leia paused, gauging Aus reaction, but she only looked back at her sadly, knowing her to be so right. “When he was a boy, before things got bad, we were inseparable, we did everything together. I tried to get him to spend time with Han, but Han was, well, Han.” Both woman awkwardly smiled.

Leia continued “Ben, my precious boy, would accompy me on these trips, always a senator first, a mother second. I didn’t know how to be, I wish I did, I just knew how to save everyone else. (she inhales deeply). We used to read together and we would do calligraphy, he loved it. He used to write me notes and hide them in my bags when I would leave. I miss him so much, I know I messed up. Theres nothing that can be done about that now. But its so hard when I lost hope, then I have to see him again. It was easier when he was just a monster behind a mask. Its harder when the enemy shares the same face as someone you gave birth too and loved,” Leia finished, wiping the tear that had fallen down her face,  “Anyway Aus, thank you for listening to an old womans regrets and happy memories.”

Aus smiled at her, wishing she could tell her everything but...even Aus didn’t know what she would tell her, what she could. ‘Im totally in love with your son, but hes still Kylo Ren, but he doesn’t want me to call him that. So, we pretend like everything’s ok and we fuck and we love. And oh yeah, he was totally in the room 2 seconds before you came in…’ She was so fucked.

The luncheon came, they sat in their same places. Ben found her leg waiting for his, and they connected. “I have something for you, look under your chair” she thought. Ben found a satchel underneath him, pulling out his gloves and putting them on. Then pulling out the black over shirt she wore on Ach-To. “I didn’t think I’d ever see this again,” he passed back to her. “Im pretty certain your mother saw your gloves, but if she did, she didn’t say anything. Ben tossed the pack back to Aus under the table. “Well, if she did, she’d never say anything. I never knew what made her, her. I guess,” He offered. “I am going to the market again today, want to join me?” she said. “I want to. But I have business to attend to that I can’t skip out on. Im so sorry” his regret flowing through their bond, Aus nodded, understanding. She seems to always forget, he is his mothers’ son and the leader of the First Order.

The luncheon ended and everyone left the room, Leia and Aus were last out again. And again, Ben stopped and stared again at the two women. He just looked at them and nodded, then stormed off. “That was weird,” Aus said to Leia immediately. “uuh hmm..” Leia let out with a nod.


	39. an old fight and a new age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

In her disguise in the marketplace again, this time she had a mission. She wanted to find something for Ben. Perfect, like he knew the necklace was for her. Hours passed as she looked through the shops and vendors again, seeing new ones she had missed from the day before and searching the same ones she liked.

In one of the shops a glimmer caught her eye. Aus went to the soucre, finding a ring. It was so beautiful. It was thick in width and black all the way around, with a black diamond set in the center surrounded by tiny white diamonds. Upon further inspection, Aus found there to be a scratch on the band that headed towards the diamond, skipped the diamond and carried on just after for a small measurement. It was him. This ring was perfect. The dark surrounding the light surrounding the dark, and the scar that she gave him. It was their story.

“I would like to purchase this, please” Aus said to the vendor. The vendor looked her up and down, then grumbled out, “for you, pretty human woman, 4590 credits” She felt the dishonesty in the vendor as he spoke. This angered her. She wanted it though. She could afford it too with the card she had been given. But it was principle. “No. _you will tell me the real price of this ring,”_ She said with a small wave of her hand. “I will tell you the real price of this ring, pretty lady, It is 1275 cedits. Wait what? I didn’t mean to say that…ugh ok, yes, 1275 before I change my mind again” He said. Aus paid him and wrapped the ring in a piece of cloth she had in her robe. She would find a time to give it to him.

“Get this swine out of my way, pathetic beggers, remove them” a disgusting familiar voice squealed out from across the courtyard. “Hux” she seethed, but knew she needed not do anything. Hux was ordering his guard to remove the beggers from his sight, “disgusting creatures, all of them” his upturned mouth screeched in disgust.  One of the beggers wouldn’t move, it was an old woman, perhaps she couldn’t hear? She looked as if she could barely see. Hux whipped out his billy stick and rose it above his head.

Aus wouldn’t stand for this. She reached for her Lightsaber, hidden well at her hip under her robe. She ran in front of his swing and with a quick ignition and swipe of her fierce hands, she sliced that stick in half. Aus stood there, staring down the truest monster of them all. “Jedi…” He seethed, “Resistance, whore. Traitor…” Hux spit out. The troopers surrounded her. She didn’t wanna to have to take them out, but she would. She crouched adding a single spin to her saber, “Huxley, how much do you like your head?” she mocked him.

Hux face displayed the shock and disgust at this traitor whores’ words. But was stopped from answering, “General,” Bens voice came from behind them. He approached with a few troopers himself. “Great, we can have a real party now,” Aus spewed out. Ben ignored her, looking to the General. Hux wanting so badly to spit at Ren, stood there, distained grossing his face. “The Jedi scum attacked us, we were simply holding her here until we could contact the palace, Supreme Leader” He slithered out. “Huxley, you fucking weasel!” Aus spit as she stepped forward, but Ben ignited his saber, not raising it, but warning her. Aus and Ben met eyes, irritation and anger shooting through both. Aus made one more step towards Hux, brushing Ben for a moment “in time, my love” flowed through the bond. Aus brought her head up to attention, looked to Bens saber again and shut hers down. She stepped up to Hux, barely pressing against him, looking up into his green eyes “not worth a starting a war here. You’re lucky your _Master_ was here to protect you. Next time you won’t be so lucky. Goodbye for now, Huxley,” she spat at him with a smirk. As she turned to go she sneered at Kylos impassive face then back to Hux, she could feel a slight change in Bens emotions, jealousy?

Aus left the market place and went directly back to her rooms where she changed. She needed to burn off some steam, badly. So, she got down to her breast band and pants and led herself to the palace courtyard with her saber. The courtyard was covered in grass and flagpoles with gravel at the base. She found a spot away from the poles but still on the grass, she tried to mediate. It wasn’t working. She hated Hux more now than she was ever disappointed in Kylo Ren, and thats saying a lot.

Aus stood and ignited her saber. She started swinging it around, throwing images in her head of Hux, different kinds of Hux. She swung, stabbed, yelled. She swung around, stopping mid air. “Ben, what the fuck, I could have killed you just now” she yelled at Kylo who was standing there, only centimeters from the tip of her saber. “You’re much to good for that to have happened” he said factly. She lowered her saber, not shutting it down though. They looked at eachother for a moment. He was in his normal uniform, cape and all. “You wanna spar?” she said out of no where, sarcastically. This caught Kylo off guard, he had come to talk to her about her strange closeness to Hux, he thinks anyway, but he didn’t expect this, the thought excited him, “yes.”

Ben turned away, walking. He stopped at a boulder in the courtyard and removed his cape, sur coat and got down to his undershirt and pants. They walked towards each other, swinging their ignited sabers, warming up before the battle begun. They met at the center of the imaginary middle they found. “2/3. Winners chooses prize, like old times” she sarcastically smiled at him. Kylo nodded, “what do you want?” he asked. Aus took in a deep breath then exhaled. “I want to be the one to kill Hux, that’s all I want. Well, and Galaxy peace, of course...” Aus was not in a great mood, and this sarcasm was hopefully enough to make him give her a good fight. “of course,” he sneered back. “what about you? What do you want, Kylo Ren?” she asked, knowing that name on her lips would infuriate him. “Ill tell you afterwards,” he coolly replied. “It can’t be ‘join me with the Order and ruling the galaxy, or anything like that” she offered up, annoyed. Kylo stood still, “I know. We’ll see.”

They hunched into each owns battle stance as they started circling each other. “Come on, Ren, we gonna keep dancing, or are you gonna fight me?” Aus taunted. And off they went. Crackling, swooshing, swinging. Sparks bleeding from the clashing Sabers. Hers pushing against his and he against hers. The purple light flickering on both their faces. Aus broke the lock and pushed back, she ran away while he chased. She jumped from boulder to boulder doing flips and turns, Meeting his saber in mid air or after a landing. She miscalculated on landing and fell on her ass, stopping his red saber inches from her chest with her own. “That was close,” she mocked and rolled out from underneath it.

Swing by swing, jump and jump, they eluded, blocked or struck the other. Ben had Aus backed against a large boulder with no where to go, her saber parallel to her body while his pressed against hers. “Yeild” he demanded, Aus shook her head. “Yeild” he yelled. Aus shook her head again, and this time with a sound of another saber igniting, Ben jolted, looking down, “a double-sided saber?” he commented in shock. She took this time to break the saber in two and hold one to his side, “yield” she whispered. Ben nodded, “I yield. Cheater”.

He was so pissed, how could she not tell him. It was so incredibly sexy to see her wielding both the sabers, and when she connected them back together and re-stanced, duel saber in the air behind her, one hand on the ground, he wanted to fuck her right there. “You wont get me again, Jedi” He smirked. And they went at it again. Swinging, chasing each other around the yard, clashing, kicking, each marking the other with slight burns.

Leia and the Queen came out to their balacony the moment they heard what was going on. The Queen called her guard to put an end to this, but Leia stopped her, “wait…they….I can feel, they are having fun, ZayDame, let them fight, I feel like this is something good.” The queen watched on and agreed.

Ben and Aus smiled and laughed, taunting and mocking each other, beating each other, not noticing the crowd gathering around them.  Oblivious to the storm troopers, the palace guards and anyone who may have a recording device.

They were tied and they were so close to one of them winning, Ben knew exactly what he wanted when he won, and he still was going to let her kill Hux. He knew he was going to win. “Halt! Stop this, right now! This is against Naboos laws!” a man running from across the yard in a Palace guards’ uniform. Both Kylo and Aus dropped their arms and disengaged their sabers.

“We are breaking no laws, Sir. This is a friendly sparring session between enemies.” Aus breathlessy let out to the man with a smile. The Captain of the Guard was not having it. You both will have to come with me, we will hold you until the matter is taken with the Queen,” he finished. “the Queen doesn’t know you’re doing this?” Aus inquired, looking to Kylo who stood next to her. “No, it is my duty to make…” the Captain was cut off. “ _You will forget that you saw the Jedi and Kylo Ren fighting and came over here only to wish us a wonderful day_.” “I will forget that I saw the Jedi and Kylo Ren fighting and came over here only to wish both of you two a wonderful day. Good day” He said and went on his way.

Aus, smiling as she turned to Kylo. “You are worse than I am” he said smirking. She laughed, “You know how I am, how do you think I was only sent to reconditioning twice and never really got into trouble? I may not of known that I had the force, but I knew I had something that could get me out of some trouble.”

 “Ren. You’re ass is mine. By the way, good on you for continuing to work on your leg gaps, I couldn’t get through them” Aus smirked as they got back into battle stance. Kylo was about to say something when a trooper interrupted him “Sir, pardon the interruption, you have a call, it is said to be important.” Very well, ill take it in my rooms, Lt.” he answered back. When he looked up, Aus had already walked away. Kylo gathered his garments and went to his suite to answer whatever important call this had to be.

Aus got into her room and was about to change from her clothes when she got the whiff of food wafting through the air. She went to the living room where the table was filled with foods again, fresh steaming food. Leia was there, smiling, “you must be staving after that.” Aus hesitated, bit her lip and walked to the table. Truth was, she was starving. She sat and started shoveling food into her mouth.

 After a few moments, Aus took a breath and break from shoveling “you saw?” she asked. Leia nodded slowly, “who didn’t?”. “Leia, im so sorry, it just kind of happened, I was in the market and Hux was there and Ben stopped me from killing him and I was frustrated and needed to blow off some steam, how was I to know that mother fucking Kylo Ren would come and find me, and that he would accept my sarcastic invitation to spar? Actually, I don’t know why he was looking for me. He was just there when I turned and then I couldn’t help but ask if he wanted to beat the hell out of each other, due to my bad day…to my surprise, he agreed. And before you ask, we haven’t had a force bond session in 4 months. Or longer, I think.” Aus finished taking a breath then shoving more food into her mouth.

Leia just sat there and stared at her, she had so many questions, but didn’t know if she could bare the answer to any of them. All she knew was that Aus was loyal to her and the Resistance, and whatever was going on, she reassured herself that it was not out of misdeeds. The ladies finished their food and chatted for a little while longer, about everything but Ben. Which to Aus’ relief was the greatest gift Leia couldn’t have given her that night, other than the food.

Aus went to her room, closing the door and making her way to the bath tub. After her long bath, she made her way to her bed and crawled in. A knock at the terrace door so late, meant only one thing. Aus jumped from her bed and ran to the door. Ben was there, but there was no time for meet and greet, she pulled him into her room and shut the door, quietly.

*** ** _Aus Force closed all the curtains and locked the doors, as they made their way to the bed, there was not going to be anyone to see what was happening. Tonight, it was all about fucking, there was love, but there was more fucking than anything. He pushed her out to the bed with one hand and pulled his hand out from behind his back, revealing his once shattered helmet, repaired. The cracks red like the light of kyber crystal. She looked in shock. He placed it on his head. She only bit her lip in anticipation._**

**_Kylo ripped her underthings off and she unzipped his pants as fast, releasing his cock. “I need you to fuck me, Ben,” She demanded. Ben needed no more instruction. He leaned down, helmet inches from her face as he shoved a gloved finger inside her, she gasped. “Another, please” she begged. Ben entered another finger and began thrusting. A few thrusts and he pulled out. She was left whimpering in place. Kylos mechanical voice sounded, “don’t worry, Jedi, you’ll get whats coming to you”._ **

**_He flipped her over, propping her onto her knees, then grabbed her by the hips. he rammed his throbbing cock inside her, “AH” She gasped, Ben muffled her sounds with one of his hands. The last thing they needed was to wake up Leia. Wrapping his free arm around her waist, Ben lifted her into an upright position. He removed his hand from her mouth and slid it sensually down her neck, gently holding it. “Shhh, be a good little Jedi and let the people sleep” he teased into her ear as he rammed her from behind again. She felt like a rag doll, unable to move, powerless to this monster… and she couldn’t have wanted it more._ **

**_Ben held her sex and her neck while he fucked her. She ground against his hand and into his cock with every powerful thrust, her arm squeezing the back of his neck. He turned her face towards him, Aus looked into the repaired mask of Kylo Ren. He violently removed the helmet and forced his tongue into her willing mouth. Every part of them fighting the other with purpose. Ben began to squeeze the hand on her neck just a little tighter, not hurting her and she began to slicken up more. The ramming was nearly violent now, Ben waited for her to get off, “Cum for me, Jedi, or I will stop.” Aus whinned at the thought of him stopping. “Yes, Supreme Leader,” she stutterd out and a few moments later, Aus was convulsing, shivers and tremors riddled her body. Her sex pulsating around his still ramming cock. Bens hand muffled her scream again. She was completely drained in his arms, and Ben finally let get go, climaxing violently and squeezing her tighter.***_ **

They collapsed on the bed, panting, unable to move. “I think…we’re still tied” Aus panted out. Ben laid a hand on her stomach, “shut up…” he kissed her lips. They laid like that for a few moments, then finally coming together, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her, head resting on her head. The quiet was nice, the smell of them was in the air and they basked in it.

After a while, Ben sat up. “is everything alright?” Aus asked looking concerned. Ben brought his lips to her forehead and pulled away, “everything is alright. For the first time in my life, im not lying to myself. I love you. More than anything and everything, I want to do what I can to keep that love.” Aus knew all this, and knew what was coming next, what always came next. He would leave soon, back to the order and galaxy domination. Her eyes looked to her hands, trying to hide the sorrow she started to feel. “Marry me, Aus. I know it’s a lot to take in, and if anyone knew you were married to me, you would either be branded a traitor or worse…” Her eyes shot to his in a split second, “What?” confusion filled the air.

Ben continued, “Im bringing down the Order, that’s what I’ve been working on the last few months, and now I think it can really be done, especially with the help of Naboo and...My mother.” Aus was stunned at the words she just heard. Was he being serious? He was really done with the Order, bring it down? Her thoughts were interrupted by his voice, “I would have to go back for a short time to ensure the plan goes well, but I have the support of a large group of storm troopers that want out as well. Tomorrow I will bring this plan to the Queen and my mother, as well as a plan for the government I want to install that I truly, truly believe will be better than a 3rd try at the failed republic. I just want to finish it and find our forest.”

So much information came crashing into her brain. This is what she wanted, and she almost felt ashamed to be skeptical. The end to the war, the freedom of the troopers, and her Ben, in a forest somewhere, hidden away in peace with her. How is this happening? “Yes,” she said, without thinking. Ben stared at her, terrified he heard otherwise, “Yes?” he asked. “Ben, I would marry you a million times over for all eternity. Yes!” she let out a scream of happiness.

With tears in his eyes Bens heart sank, this angel would marry the devil and be thrilled for it. He truly did not think she would accept and he truly did not deserve her. “Under one condition,” she added. Ben paused immediately, staring at her, fear on his face, “what is it?” he asked. “I will only marry you if we are married in front of your mother.” The fear on his face was amplified by fear he now felt through his entire body. He felt paralyzed, but knew, the only thing he wanted more than anything would slip away if he didn’t agree, “okay.”

“Oh! I have something for you,” She jumped up and ran to the robe hanging over the chair. She pulled a little cloth wad out and walked over to Ben, “Here” she said, handing him the wad. Ben looked at it for a second then unwrapped it. His breath hitched in his chest and tears started falling, “is that a black diamond?” his voice quivered out. Aus nodded her head, “yeah, surrounded by white diamonds and well, a scar up the center…I saw it and knew it was you.” Ben stared at the ring she had given him, now overwhelmed by everything that has happened this day, he knew she really did want what he wanted, she was thinking of it even if she didn’t know it. He still feared telling his mother, feared her reaction and the possibility that she may cast out or brand Aus as a traitor but hopefully their meeting tomorrow will end that.

“I must prepare for tomorrow,” Ben said. Aus understood and let him go. “Ben, I believe, I truly believe, that tomorrow will go well,” she said. They stopped at the terrace door as the sun was just beginning to peak. They kissed deeply goodbye, and Aus for the first time, felt complete joy from Ben. “See you later, Ben Ren” She joked. Ben smiled up to her from the stairs below and bowed.

After the fresher, Leia came into Aus room, “Aus, I have been informed by the Queen that we are to stay after the luncheon today. She would like to have a private meeting with us inregards to the future of the Resistance and Naboo,” Leia finished.

Aus didn’t know what to say, was this what Ben had in mind? Aus finished dressing and followed Leia to the Queens council room. When they arrived Ben was already there, at the table with a few others from previous days. Leia and Aus walked to their seats at the large table and waited like before. Ben rose from his seat as they came to the table and sat when Leia and Aus did. It was odd, she thought. Leia didn’t react but also thought the act was odd.

The luncheon seemed to go on. Aus had a hard time focusing on anything. The thoughts of Ben and everything that had happened the past few days. The last year. She held such hopes for when they would talk to Leia and the Queen. They didn’t speak much at first when they touched under the table. Mostly just enjoyed the others presence. Ben had fear running through him, but he was going to do this. It was what he wanted just as much as her.

After the first 45 minutes are so, Aus couldn’t take it anymore. She excused herself and walked out onto the balcony to get away for a while. It tired her to talk to Ben through the bond, though she enjoyed it so much, today it seemed to drain her, perhaps because of everything on her mind. And the conversation around her that she didn’t really get a say in was beginning to drive her mad. She just needed to breathe. Aus stared out upon the city for a few moments then began looking around the balcony.

At the corner of the balcony Aus found an opening that lead only about 10 ft out of sight to a dead end. At the entrance sat two giant planted bushes, “Perfect” she whisphered out loud. Aus looked back into the room and saw that no one noticed her, well, almost no one. Ben watched her as soon as she turned to look into the room. He was pretending to be interested in the conversation he was brought into.

She looked over the horizon of the city then walked to the hiding place. She sat down and exhaled. Closing her eyes, she imagined a place far where she was now. She loved Naboo, and even would have considered living here. The air was warm even in the shade. She didn’t know how long she was there, thinking of the far away place, but it was nice.

“May I join you?” his voice came from above her, behind the planted bush. With one eye open, Aus looked up at its source. Ben walked around her, taking a seat next to her. “You shouldn’t be out here, what if someone sees?” she said. Ben just looked at her, saying nothing. She shrugged and laid her head back against the wall looking through the opening.

Aus rolled her head onto his shoulder and closed her eyes. Ben sat there, back straight and head against the wall behind him. They had come so far since the first day they met, since that day in the throne room and finally Crait. They had been through so much, and she had been through almost all of it, all because of him. Everything was him. He didn’t deserve her, he didn’t deserve the good she was, but now that he had finally started to let her sink in a little bit, he wanted what she saw in him.

Ben laid his head on hers and closed his eyes, taking her hand in his. The force swimming through them calmly, weaving itself in and out of every fiber of their being. They had been made for each other, and as messed up as it was, they couldn’t have wanted something more.

“I want you to just leave with me, after we tell your mother your plan. Don’t go back to the Order. I have a terrible feeling about it,” Aus pleaded. Ben tensed up but didn’t remove himself from her. “It will be fine. We will tell my mother and the Queen everything, but I have to go back to the Order to make sure it works,” feeling her nervousness and terror for him start to rise, Ben continued “My amazing Star Light, my beautiful Aus….I want to go with you. I want to follow you to the end of the galaxy and beyond. I WANT our home by the lake. I want you under the waterfall and…….” Ben paused, now looking into her eyes, “I want everything you ever saw…in me. I don’t deserve it. But you’ve made me believe. And now I want it more than anything and it feels good…right,” Ben finished.

Aus still felt uncertainty in her mind, and it came across her face, “Please, Ben…don’t go” She pleaded again. Ben stared down into her eyes he knew she was probably right, but he knew it had to be done this way, and there was no way he was going to let anything detour her happiness…his happiness. “You’ve believed in me for so long, when you never should have, just believe in me, in this, a little longer,” he spoke softly to her. Aus smiled and nodded, “Okay”, but she still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong.

He pressed his lips to hers and she didn’t stop him. She slipped her tongue in between his lips and was met with his. Their hands raised to the others cheek. As they kissed, the heat began to rise from within their bodies. With their eyes closed, they even began to see themselves somewhere else. Lost in the moment, Aus pressed herself into Ben hard, wrapping her arms around his neck. Ben in return wrapped his around her and pulled her into him tightly. In the heat of the kiss, they pulled apart quickly, shaking, trembling in the others arms.

They both felt it, their power growing fierce with their passion. So fierce that a very faint and familiar force signature brushed up against it. Trembling and breathing heavily, they both knew. They needed to stop, they were dangerously close to getting caught before anyone needed to know about them. It was terrible, knowing they were almost unable to control themselves around the other, that what they had could end so much, in so many bad ways.

Foreheads pressed together, neither wanting to rejoin the luncheon. Ben got back up to his feet, brushing off the dirt from his uniform. Aus just stared, he was always so handsome, even in the uniform of the enemy. He reached his hand out to her, and she took it, getting herself to her feet. Ben turned and walked back towards the doorway at the center of the balcony, before reaching the door, he stopped, returned his gaze to her. He brought a true smile to his face as he was assuring her it was going to be all right. He turned forward once more, his smile faded and he was Kylo Ren once again.

Nobody seemed to notice when he walked back into the room, everybody in there was so engrossed in their own conversations. However, one of his biggest fans rushed him, beginning a conversation with him immediately. Aus waited several minutes before returning to the room, wondering if she should just wait until the luncheon was over. As she entered the room, most of the people began to rise and leave. Aus took this opportunity to slip in and mingle with the exiting folk, meeting Leia at the head of the table.

Aus didn’t say a word to her, she tried to avoid Leia’s look. The Queen left the room before everyone else had. Leaving the three of them standing there. Leia, Aus and Kylo Ren. “The Queen will return in few moments times. Please wait here,” the usher informed them.

The three of them sitting there, looking to one another with out speaking, unsure of what to say. Aus couldn’t take it anymore she needed to know, “did you call this meeting, Ben?” she asked. Leia looked to her and back to Ben then back to Aus. Ben shot her a glare but it was not held with hate or anger. “Yes, Aus. I did. Thank you for accepting and thank you…General, as well” he calmingly spoke.

Leia nodded, still not verbally addressing Ben, Aus believed she just didn’t know how too. Does she call him kylo? Ben? Supreme Leader Ren? How does she talk to the monster who killed her son…and her husband? She had felt them both earlier, she wasn’t sure what it was exactly, it was only for a brief moment. Leia had been sure she had felt them a few times throughout the last few days. She was also sure that there was something, though she could never put an exact point on it. If there was something romantic. She hoped so much that it was a mutual thing between them both and for the good of the Galaxy.

Leia was silent, just watching Aus and Ben interact. She watched Ben react to Aus using his given name as if hes heard it a hundred times from her lips and how Aus’ name so easily rolled off his tongue with only admiration. The Queen arrived a few moments later. The three of them rose together and took their seats together and the Queen took hers.

“Supreme Leader Ren, you have called this urgent meeting between you, The general and Jedi of the Resistance, as well as myself, why?” ZayDame posed to Ben. Ben nodded, took a deep breath and let it out “Queen ZayDame, General Organa, and Aus “I want to end this war. I want to end the Order, the Resistance, all of it. And I think you may be very interested in how I plan to do that with minimal damage.” Everyone in the room fell silent.

Ben waited a few seconds, waiting for the questions. Aus looked from Leia to Ben, catching his eye, with expression and the feeling of the force, she urged him on. Ben continued speaking. Laying out how he plans to end the Order from with in, knowing that simply surrendering at this moment would only cause Hux and his immediate staff to retaliate a whole new war. He went on to speak about the government that he had wanted to install, something that was not the republic. “Forgive me mother, but the Republic failed twice now. This government that I have thought so long and hard about and have researched and planned, I believe it can be a great basis for something that can not be so easily corrupted. Each time the Republic was corrupted, it was from within. What I propose has much merit to it. I implore you to Please consider it.” When he stopped, both Leia and Aus stared at him. Ben realized his verbal slip, referring to his mother, but this was too important to care about such things. “Go on, Supreme Leader” ZAyDame said. Ben looked to Leia who was staring back, “Please, Ben. Continue, I very much would like to hear what you have to say.”

His explanation went on for hours. Both Leia and ZayDame were very interested by his idea, especially because of his almost already dominating the galaxy, at this point it would be easier to adjust into seeing that most planets and factions are already allied. Aus listened but she already knew most of what he had to say, she remembers when he first told, so long ago.

After several hours, the Queen called for a recess. Zaydame excused herself and left the room. Aus and Leia rose from their seat and walked towards a tall open glass door leading to a private terrace over looking the city. The sun was bright and warm with a cool breeze. It was a much needed break. “Thank you” Leia said, standing next to Aus. “For what?” she asked. Leia smiled, looked back to the table where Ben was now standing and walking from. “For bringing my boy home” she explained. Aus shook her head, “no..no..i did nothing. This is all him” she replied. Leias smile did not change for a moment.

Ben reached the two women, stopping just 2 feet away. “Aus, may I..may I borrow the General for a moment, please. I would ask that you do rejoin us in a few minutes time.” Aus nodded and excused herself further onto the terrace. She placed her hands on the railing and just stared out.

“General, I really do want this to be over. There needs to be no more unnecessary death. If by the end of this we can agree, I would also ask…I will need help with my storm troopers. They do not know how to live outside of the military. I will need help with them, would you be interested in assisting in such a project?” Ben asked, knowing that was not at all what he had intended on talking about. Leia considered him for a minute, looking out to the Jedi girl standing several feet away from them over looking the city, “I will do what it takes to keep the peace in this galaxy, Ben. Let us finish the terms with the queen. For now, let us enjoy this view for a moment longer” She replied. Ben said nothing more to her for several minutes. They just stood there, next to the other. The hatred, the anger, the sorrow, all of it slowly, very slowly but surely, easing away.

When the Queen returned, Leia met her at the table and they started chatting. Ben walked out to Aus and joined her in overlooking the city. “I think she knows, Ben” Aus said, not breaking her focus on the skyline. Ben let out a huff but chose to let himself live in denial a little longer, “she doesn’t know everything, you know. She may have an idea, but no one could ever truly know what we have, what we are, except us.” Ben wanted so badly to touch her, even just to brush against her hand. Instead they stood in silence and brushed their power against the other until it was time to return.


	40. oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are in "bold"  
> Sexy stuff is in bold and ****

They returned to the table, taking their seats. Leia and ZayDame asked a few questions about his plan, how it would work in certain areas and he was all but too obliged to answer them. There was very little he didn’t have an answer for. But he allowed them to add their input to see if it could fit. To the surprise of all them, they tended to agree on most things, which is a good start to any negotiation.

The day went on, the room grew a bit warmer. Aus removed her outer jacket, Leia stayed ever poised as always and the Queen made a woredrobe change. Ben arose from his seat as he was talking, pacing back and forth, explaining a question that had been asked. He removed his gloves and tossed them onto the table. He turned and looked out the window thinking on the rest of his answer before returning to the women at the table. He grabbed the back of the chair, leaning against it he started speaking. Aus tried to listen to his words but could only focus on the Black ring he wore on his wedding finger.

Panic shot through Aus. She felt sick and like she was going to faint at the sight of it. ‘Did he do this on purpose? What was he thinking? OH my gods, I hope neither woman think anything of it..please, please please. What an idiot…’ she kept thinking. “And how do you plan to put into power for the first term in this new government? You said 2 have to be in power at the same time? I have to assume that you plan on taking the first term yourself?” Leia asked quickly glancing down to Bens ringed finger and back to his eyes.

Ben stood straight up, dropping his hand to his sides, the ring out of sight. He shifted as he began to feel stupid, how could he forget he was wearing her ring? Ben glanced to Aus, trying to keep calm now, then glanced back to Leia, “I had intended on doing just that, General. I had someone perfect in mind as well that I believe could have been a mighty and fair ruler. But I do not believe that is my place anymore, nor theirs. We would default back to the first election idea as I proposed” he ended. Leia acknowledged his words and moved on. Ben took his seat once again, grabbing his gloves as the Queen spoke, and putting them back on.

It was night now, the Queen asked for a recess until the morning to come to her opinion. She would also be thinking if there was anymore to speak about it the following day. Leia seconded the motion and so it was done. The meeting had come to an end for day one, and there was hope. “Leia, would you join me in a drink for the evening? Aus you are more than welcome to attend as well,” the Queen offered. Aus smiled and stood with Leia intending on joining them, not wanting to be rude. “Goodnight, Supreme Leader Ren,” the Queen spoke to Ben before turning to leave. Leia, Aus and Queen started towards the door on their way to the Queens private quarters for a night cap, when they were stopped, “General…” Ben spoke up loudly for all 3 women to turn. Aus eyes widened, ‘he can not be doing this now…’ she thought. “General, may I have a word with you and Aus?” Ben asked, in an unformal tone. The Queen went on her way to her rooms and left the 3.

“There is so much damage between you and I, I am uncertain if there is a real repair for it. However, I can not do this without you. You are very important to so much of what is to come.” He said. Leia just listened as her son spoke. Even though he was the tyrant leader of the new empire, today she couldn’t be more proud of what he had come here to do and how to do it. He would have made a fine senator, or a leader for the good. And she had to admit, his plan, his ideas were sound enough that she started to believe in the idea. They needed slight tweaking here and there, but she believes that it may just work. It was worth a try if it meant ending the war and starting an actaul government instead of tyranny rule.

“And one of those that is the most important to me, to come…” Ben said, glancing to Aus and immediately back to Leia “that can not be done without you. Tomorrow, we will continue our conversations and I only hope that when the time comes you will agree and things can move forward, until then, Mother, I will leave you and Aus to your meet with the Queen.” Ben bowed slightly to the ladies before him and excused himself.

Leia smiled at Aus and then they left the room to meet the Queen in her private quarters. “Leia, I would like to meet you there, I need to go back to the room to change though, is that alright?” Aus asked. “Of course, Aus. Today was long, but it was a good day,” She smiled and nodded. Leia started towards the Queens chamber and Aus towards her suite.

“What the!?” Aus screeched as she was pulled into an empty corridor. “Ben?! What the kriff are you doing?” Aus yelled at him, trying to keep her voice down. “Im sorry,” he replied. Aus let out a sigh and looked looked at him. “What is it Ben?” she asked. “Im sorry, for the ring, I completely forgot. And I know when I asked you too stay behind, I felt your fear. I had intended on telling her, but when I felt your fear, I knew I should not go forward with it. I wanted to…” He paused, searching for the words.

Aus sensed the fear rushing into him, “I understand if you don’t want to do this, you just need to tell…” Ben was cut off by Aus lips on his. “You’re an idiot. I just didn’t think it should be now, while we were still in talks,” Aus smiled and whispered as she pulled away. Bens heart plunged from his chest and relief rained out. Ben pulled her hands to his mouth and placed kisses upon them. “You wore the ring, I didn’t think you would…” Aus whispered. A smile crossed Bens face. “I..” he was cut off again by an earth shattering jolt in the force.

“Leia!” Aus yelled. Ben hunched over, snapped his eyes up into Aus. A scream came from down the hall. They started running. They didn’t know where, but they ran towards the scream and followed the fading force signature. “Leia!” Aus yelled, upon finding Leia on the ground in the corridor. Aus found her face down on her side with a blaster shot in her back. Aus turned her over, looking frantically.

“What happened? Leia, can you tell me?” Aus asked in a panic. Leia tried to speak but couldn’t. She raised her hand to Aus face and flashes of what she felt before being shot passed through from Leia to Aus. Aus saw the the dimly lit corridor before her. Then she felt a familiar signature. She rose to her feet, she tried to pick up Leia, get her somewhere. “Let me!” Ben forcibly said, bending down and scooping up his mother.

They ran to the Medbay and alerted the driods immediately. Ben Laid her on the bed as soon as he reached it. The driods got Leia into surgery as soon as possible and they waited. “I need to go, now,” Aus said, nothing explained. She reached for the door and was pulled back suddenly, “Where are you going?” His voice stern and accusing. She ripped her arm from his hand and continued to through the doorway. He followed her, “Where are you going!?” he yelled again,”What do you know?”

“Im going to kill him, Ben” Aus growled out, her face stone cold. Ben could feel the darkness rising in her, he could feel her need for revenge. “Don’t do this, Aus. Don’t go this way. It wont end well” Ben warned, as she walked away. When she didn’t stop, he chased after her again, wrapping his arms around her, forcing her to stop. “Let me go, Ren!” she yelled, as she tried kicking and wiggling her way out from his grip. “Stop, Aus!” he yelled, “Just stop!”

“The spineless weasel tried to kill her!” Aus yelled, “Don’t you care, Ren?” Ben let go of her, she turned to look at him, “Of course I care. And stop calling me that!” Ben yelled. If anyone was around, they didn’t make themselves known. The Force was swirling, angry. “I will kill him, and you wont stop me, Ben,” Aus let out again. Ben stepped towards her, “Don’t go this way. This path you’re going down now, it’s not yours to follow. You will have your revenge, but now is not it. If you do it now, it wont be for the cause or for a better purpose, it will be simply for revenge and the Resistnace could lose the backing of Naboo, I don’t want that for you,” Ben reached out his hand, “Don’t go down the path I did, don’t be like me.”

Aus heart stopped and she crashed to the floor, Ben leaping forward fast enough to catch her. Now both sitting in the middle of the corridor outside the medbay, not caring who sees, Ben held her as she cried. Bens emotions mirrored her own, but he couldn’t believe he was able to keep himself from joining her in her quest. “Ben, im sorry. Im just so angry. I saw it. I felt his presence as he came out from behind her, she didn’t know, but I knew when I felt him. The coward shot your mother, someone I love, in the back!” she cried out. “And he will suffer a fate worse than death,” Ben spoke lowly. His words and his voice gave Aus chills.

“I heard what has happened, has there been anyword yet?” the Queen asked as she came upon Ben and Aus sitting in the middle of the corridor. Ben stood, pulling Aus up with him, “we are stilling waiting on the medical driods to tell us anything. Aus wanted to tell her so badly that it was Hux who shot her, but she got the feeling talks would not continue. “The coward hasn’t been caught,” Ben spoke out. “There will be an investigation, starting now, Supreme Leader Ren and Jedi Aus,” Queen ZayDame told them. They nodded their head in acknowledgement. “Please keep me informed of my dear Leias status, please” ZayDame said. After the Queens departure, Ben and Aus returned to the medbay and waited.


	41. a short awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sexy stuff ****

“General Organa is out of surgery. She is stable for now. It will be sometime before we can say for sure whether she will make it. We will watch her through the night and alert you if there is a change in her status” the Medical Droid told Aus and Ben. Relief ran through both of them. “My programming suggests you are both in fatigue now, there is nothing more to do for you here.”

It was late into the night when the driod reported on Leia. Aus and Ben were exhausted, the droid was right. Neither spoke as Ben excused himself and Aus stayed a little longer. She stared at Leia, ‘if I had just gone with her’ she kept thinking. She tried to take Bens words into her heart, trying to keep the revenge out of it, but it kept creeping in. “Im sorry, Leia” she whispered out to Leia.

She finally went to her quarters, making sure that the droids knew to contact her immediately. She slinked into her dark room and headed for the fresher. She sat under the running hot water for as long as it would pour hot. Never not thinking of the woman who lying in the medbay.

She felt him near, “come in” she said. Ben undressed and joined her underneath the scolding hot water. There were no words, only the bond, was completely open and the emotions were pouring.

Ben’s emotions were haywire, everywhere. Flashes of little Ben and Leia kept entering her mind, Leia’s voice calling out for him and flashes of little calligraphy letters left in luggage. Ben was starting to remember all the things he loved about his mother, how he was so lost truly believing that she was the enemy. So much time wasted.

Ben reached out to Aus, she looked up and scooted towards him, turning and piecing herself into him. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tightly with no intention of ever letting her go.

The water began to run cold, with that they decided to leave the confines of the fresher. Neither dressing, they went to the bed and laid down. Aus held Ben in her arms as he wrapped himself around her again, he was so warm. And for the first time, they weren’t scared of getting caught, they didn’t care.

They slept on edge, knowing at any moment they could hear of Leias death or awakening. A few hours after they had fallen asleep, they woke in a panic. Searching for the other and finding them immediately.

*** **They crashed into eachother, lips crushing hard. Ben got between her legs and Aus urged him inside her. He began thrusting into her, she needed him to, badly. Ben fucked her hard, not letting up as she moaned and dug her nails into him. Aus began to tear up as she got closer and closer and when she finally came, Ben followed right behind her**.***

Ben fell into her. Both panting from their climax. Aus’ tears began to fall, trying to keep herself silent, but when Ben pulled away to look her in the eyes, she saw tears streaming down his face. It was the first time she truly saw him cry. She had seen tears in his eyes, but he never cried. “I love you. I don’t deserve you, but you need to know I love you, more than anything in the forsaken life. Please know that, Aus” Ben whispered out in a pleading tone.

She kissed him with all her might, sending through every bit of love she had for him. They held on to each other, tears streaming, until they fell asleep. Both thankful for the other they didn’t deserve. And hoping that Leia would pull through.

The morning came and there was still no news of Leias recovery. A few minutes after they woke, the comm that Poe had given her went off,

“Aus, come in, Aus is everything alright??” Poes voice came over

Her eyes widened, completely forgetting that they might call in Leia’s absence, “What should I tell them?” She quickly asked Ben, who was scowling at the voice. “No time for jealousy, this is real and now,” she said.

“just answer it” He said.

“Hey Poe, is everything alright?” Aus said into the comm

“Aus! Ive been trying to get ahold of Leia all night and this morning, whats going on? are you guys ok? Why isn’t she answering?” Poe said frantically

Aus looked to Ben who just sat there and watched her, not being of any help. “Leia has been with the Queen all night. They are old friends and after the extremely long talks yesterday, both her and the Queen enjoyed a night cap. As of this morning, I am told they are currently in a meeting. I will notify her when they are out. Is everything alright?” Aus finished.

“Oh thank the gods, I thought something had happened to you…to both you. With the Order being there and all. You never know what Ren and his pasty-faced red weasel have planned,” Poe replied.

Ben wasn’t pleased with this conversation, excusing himself to the next room. “Im not leaving you,” he whispered, reassuring her before he left the room.

“Well, is everything all right?” Aus asked again

“Oh yeah, its quiet and we’ve been able to get some of the fighters started in this place, so theres that. When you guys comin home?” Poe finished

‘Home’ Aus thought. “Unsure. We’re supposed to have more talks today. It is long and drawn out, half the time I can’t even listen, ha ha,” Aus said jokingly.

Poe laughed over the comm “Well, Aus. We miss ya guys, but if it is doing some good, then so be it. You run into your boyfriend yet?” Poe let out before thinking, wishing he could take it back.

“Poe…yes we have run into Ren, however, he has been well mannered and non-aggressive with the General and I,” Aus finished.

“Remember, Aus. He’s there for the same thing you and Leia are. Anyway, girl. I am going to go, lots of work to be done since we moved, take care of yourself, and watch out. But really, be careful. Poe out” Poe finished

“bye, Poe” Aus ended

Aus got out of bed, grabbing a robe hanging on the back of the door. She went into the living room to look for Ben. She found him standing, looking out the giant window. She walked up to him, touching him on his back. He turned to her, “your pilot believe you?” he smirked. Aus hated lying to Poe, but she knew if she told him what happened, it would start something they couldn’t deal with right now. Not after the last time she was almost dead and he went crazy.

“Yeah, I think he did. And if Leia makes it, I will tell her so she can maybe clear it up…” Aus responded. “I hope you’re hungry, I ordered food, should be here any moment,” Ben said. Before Aus could say anything, the food droids entered the room and filled the table. Aus and Ben sat and ate in wait.

“The pilot, what is between you?” Ben inquired, underlined with subtle jealousy. Aus took a bite of food, shook her head, “Nothing. We don’t get along all the time, but he really is a good man. It took me a while though, he is the one who killed my LT. When I recognized him later, it didn’t go well. Then the whole 12 of us against you… Your mother was the only reason he lived,” Aus replied back.

“But he has feelings for you, I felt it during the attack on the Finalizer. I felt his anger and hurt towards you,” Ben said

“That’s why you asked to talk to me, isn’t it? You wanted to make him jealous, like you were feeling. I felt it from you, you were angry and jealous and…wow. Did you think Poe and I?” Aus was left disgusted. “is that why you came to me in the courtyard the other day? Because of Hux?”

Ben didn’t respond, trying to hide his embarrassment. “No, Ben. Im just going to stop you right there before this gets any further. Poe and I never. He kissed me one time, but I shut that down quickly and he hadn’t made a move on me since. After his attack on the Order I beat the living shit out of him, your mother again, the only reason he lived. It didn’t help that he kept making accusations that you were my boyfriend and that maybe I was a spy or something, etc. he said that after everything and in front of Leia and I lost it. I put him in a force choke and almost killed him……I dropped him,” she stopped. “You force choked someone?” Bens eyes widened as he looked at her.

“I felt terrified of myself, Ben. Leia said he deserved it, knowing that I wasn’t going to actually kill him, but Ben, I was terrified of who I was in the moment. I may not like Poe all that much, but…he didn’t deserve that. And I almost couldn’t control myself,” Aus trembled out. She didn’t know that she would be sharing this with him today. She never wanted to tell him, not for embarrassment, but she didn’t want to get his hopes up that she would join him.

Ben thought for a few moments, remembering when such acts would have pleased him, hoping that she would join him, but now, it makes him sick to think he ever wanted that for her. “You’re not a monster,” He reassured her, making her hear him.

She heard him and felt his insistence. Aus smiled as she looked down, seeing his ring still in place, “Ben, why did you wear that? It could have blown everything for you,” Aus asked. Ben looked down and played with it a little before answering her, “Because you are everything, I didn’t plan on taking my gloves off, I didn’t even think about it.”

“Please don’t…” Aus started to speak but was interrupted by one of the medical droids entering the room, “Master Jedi, Supreme Leader Ren. General Organa is awake.”

They both rushed to their feet and back into the room to throw on their clothing. When they entered the Medbay, Leia was laying down, but awake and she greeted them with a smile.  “Aus. Ben? You look like hell. Come here,” Leia smiled, calling them to her side.

“Leia, Hux is the one who shot you, in the back, I know it for sure,” Aus rushed out. Leia nodded her head, she had figured It was going to happen eventually, a smug creature like that couldn’t pass up an opportunity. “I know, it will be dealt with, im sure,” Leia said, glancing to Ben quickly then back to Aus.

“We found you in the hall, right after it happened, Ben carried you in. You were in surgery for hours. Leia, I am so happy to see you come out of it,” Aus said happily, then paused for a moment. Ben knew that look, he had seen that quick blank look on her face before, when she had a vision. “What is it?” Ben said, the need to know in his voice.

“Nothing, I just remembered that Poe’s been trying to reach you. I answered before he lost it and came here, you should probably get back to him. Oh…and he doesn’t know, I told him you’ve been with the Queen all night and this morning…I didn’t want him to freak out,” Aus said quickly. Leia rolled her eyes and nodded her head as she smiled.

“Aus, could you please grab my comm for me, I really should get to Poe. And maybe Let ZayDame know that I am awake. I would send a droid, but she has grown fond of you,” Leia asked. Aus nodded, pleased to do anything for Leia right now. She turned to leave and Ben unknowingly turned to go with her. “Ben, please, sit with me a moment?” Leia asked, sounding exhausted. Aus turned to see him staring at her, as if asking her what should he do. Aus smiled sweetly and nodded to him. Ben never felt so terrified in his life as he returned his attention to Leia. He walked to her bedside, not saying anything. “Pull up a chair,” Leia demanded.

Ben grabbed a chair and sat waiting for what was to come next. “Your idea for the next government is well done. I believe it could work. And im so proud of you for thinking of something so beneficial to everyone. No tyranny,” Leia spoke.

Ben had no idea how to respond other than “Thank you.”

“Now then. Ben, please tell me what the hell is going on between you two, before I lose my mind,” Leia sarcastically said with a laugh.

Ben didn’t know if this was the right time, but he almost lost her again, there was no right times, only now. So, Ben started from the beginning. Most of the happenings Leia already knew from what Aus had told her, but she didn’t know about their “intimate relationship” that started from the beginning and its rocky road. He told her about how Aus had shut him out several times. They tried to keep apart but were always brought back together somehow. “And I suppose you are the reason she’s alive after Vashon?” Leia interjected. Ben nodded and continued from that point.

Leia knew, but now she knows. She knew they shared a bond, a special relationship. She just didn’t know how far that relationship went or could go. Leia had a small ting of hope when they arrived on Naboo when Aus had felt Ben there. When she saw them dancing at the ball the first night and thought she had felt him nearby the next couple nights. She had hoped when they were fighting in the court yard and she felt their thrill, their fun, and happiness she had hoped it was something, some sign that things were going to change. She never held doubt in Aus heart, she never thought she could be a traitor, she even told Leia of how she chose the resistance over Kylo Ren and the rule of the Galaxy. She had a small ripple of hope and now it was a tidal wave.

“And then, after the match we…anyway. I asked her to allow me to be her husband. And for reasons I will never understand, she said yes, without hesitation. But there was only one condition. That you be present. I was going to talk to you about it after our meeting today, but…well. Now seems to be it,” Ben finished. Feeling like a planet had been lifted off his shoulders. His mother now knew everything and he was glad for it.

“I had hoped,” Leia said finally. “I noticed things here and there, but I couldn’t hold on to hope any longer, not after Crait. Though when I saw you two together at the ball, then again in the courtyard and how you spoke to each other, I began to believe there might be…something…again…Don’t think I didn’t see your gloves in her room or how the force seemed to dance around you two at the luncheons. But when I saw your ring yesterday, I had felt as if…I knew…” Leia said, not wanting to push. Leia hadn’t felt this much joy in a long time. Just having Ben near, trying to help end the war, falling in love with someone worth everything. He was changing, and it was obvious. Leia’s hope for her son reignited like a volcano.

They talked for a little while longer before Aus returned with the comm and with ZayDame. Zaydame saw that her friend was healing and stayed for a short time, seeing that she needed more time with the two young ones. “I will return later, Leia, when you have rested more.” Then the Queen was gone again. “Leia, how are you feeling?” Aus asked, taking her seat next to Leia again. Leia smiled, “I’m wonderful, Aus. A little tired, but right now, all is right.”

Aus smiled, confused at her words. Ben grabbed Aus by the arm and tugged her gently to follow him. “May I speak with you, Jedi?” he said as she rose to her feet. “We will be right back,” Aus said to Leia as they exited to the lobby. “What is it?” Aus asked. “What did you see? I know you well enough to know when you have a vision, tell me” Ben demanded. Aus scowled at his accusation, but he was right.

“It was nothing,” Aus said. “Your visions aren’t nothing,” Ben spit back. “Aus, please tell me…” Ben pleaded desperately. She let out a sigh and shrunk her shoulders, looking away from him, “Leia doesn’t have long. I don’t know how long, but I wouldn’t have had the vision if it didn’t mean she didn’t have long. I saw her but it wasn’t now, just…soon, I think” she finished.

Ben stood up straight, “I see…What was it? Could you see?” he asked. Aus hesitated, not wanting to answer but knowing she will, “She’s sick, Ben. Something not curable. She’ll be healed of the blaster shot but, she’ll die of an illness she has, and she knows it,” Aus finished.


	42. A new light

Leia performed the ceremony in the Medbay. Aus and Ben never broke eye contact. When it came time, Aus slipped Bens black ring onto his finger then he snatched her hand. Aus was confused, but Ben smirked, raising her hand and slipping on a beautiful silver ring with a green emerald set in the center. “Ben? How?” Aus muttered then glanced to Leia, who was smiling.

The Queen and Leia were witness to the private event.

                Afterwards, ZayDame, Ben, Aus and Leia continued their discussion and planning before the attempted assassination on Leia had happened. Ben was to return to the Order in the morning. Leia and Aus were to return to the Resistance as well. Several hours into the talks, they were able to come to an agreement. All that was spoken were to stay between the four of them until otherwise needed.

“Do you wish for privacy, for you both tonight?” ZayDame asked of Aus and Ben. Embarrassment flushed their faces, before they could answer, ZayDame answered for them. “I have ensured you privacy in the eastern part of the palace. You will be taken through a passage way to the room where your belongings have already been moved. I understand that discretion at this time is of the ut-most importance.”

                Ben threw himself to his knees at Aus feet once they entered the room and were left alone. She could feel all his emotions rushing her immediately. “Ben, what are you doing?” Aus whispered as he fell into her abdomen, wrapping his arms are her desperately. He was in disbelief.

                They bathed, and ate and made crazy passionate love that night, several times over. It was a night that for them, held no morning. They pretended that it truly was their own time and that they didn’t need to hide anymore. But they did and they must, for dawn came to quickly while neither slept. Holding hands staring out into the morning light, a tear slowly rolling down each of their cheeks.

                “Lets just both go to the Resistance, we can find another way, Ben. There’s always another way” Aus sniffled out. Ben kissed her forehead, “I do not deserve you, I never did and I never will. But I will make sure this happens. The only way to ensure the Order is brought down fully and not just injured will be this plan. Have faith. The Force is with us more than ever now, can’t you feel it?”

                Aus nodded and they kissed gently again. Ben made his way down the secret corridor after their goodbyes and Aus met Leia at the main door.

                As the Falcon left Naboo’s atmosphere, as did Ben’s force signature. ‘please, please, let this work’ Aus whispered as she looked out over the helm of the Falcon, into the passing space. It was good to see Chewie again. Leia and Aus filled him in on the plan, he was very important to it as well. The date and time had been set and at this point, all they had to do was wait a few weeks. Time was still not on their side.


	43. The shadow of the day

“Leia, somethings wrong! I can feel it. There’s something wrong with…!” Aus yelled to Leia who had jumped up from her seat and ran to a keeled over Aus cluching at her sides. It had only been 3 days since their return. Leia pulled Poe and Finn as well as a few other commanders into the the Resistance side of the plan, letting them know that someone on the inside of the Order was going to help us and because Leia trusted this source with her life, their lives, Poe reluctantly did too. They needed the time to prepare.

                “Aus, what is it?” Leia asked once she was near, “Get her to the Med Bay now!”. “No, no… I’m fine,” Aus yelled as she ran into the hall and down towards her rooms. ‘Where are you???where are you???” Aus kept yelling out under her breath, looking around her rooms, trying desperately to get the connection going. Leia entered her room, seeing Aus in a frazzled hectic state looking around. “Aus what is it?” Leia asked softly. Aus turned to look at her, but the live wire feeling and the thrumming came to, there he was, on the floor, bloodied and bruised. “Ben!” Aus yelled. He looked up, “No!” he yelled back. And he was gone.

                She sat there on her knees with her arms and hands stretched outward to an empty void. “Somethings very wrong, Ben’s hurt bad. I need to go after him” she said standing, grabbing her saber and pack. “I understand that something is wrong, but you must think about this first. I do not want to even admit this, but do you think it could be a trap?” Leia asked, grabbing Aus by the hand. Aus looked to her in disbelief, “You think the man I married, your son, would do that now?” but Aus knew what Leia meant. “it might be, but I can’t take that risk. I am going to him. Continue with the plans, General. It is more important to anything. I am the only one that has the power to do this,” Aus said as she smiled to Leia and continued on her way to the hanger.

                Chewie met her by the Falcon, she assumed Leia had something to do with that. It was Ach-To all over again. Only this time, she was going to save him.


	44. Wicked Games

“How are you feeling today? Do you know where you are, my dear?” Hux’s voice came over her. Aus’ eyes fluttered open, she felt like she’d been hit by a speeder. “Hux? Where?” Aus whispered out, looking around. “Im feeling, kind of terrible. I’m… on the Surpremacy?” she spoke out, starting to regain full consciousness. “Do you know who are you are, my dear?” Hux cooed again, running his fingers through her hair. “I…I…” Aus sat up slowly “I am Aus, Jedi of the Order and second in command to Supreme Leader Hux” she finished, emotionless and unfeeling. “Good,” Hux sneered as he smirked and ran his fingers down her arm. She resisted the shutter that plagued her body.

                “What happened?” she asked as they walked slowly through the corridors to “her” rooms. “you were on a mission, my dear. The Rebel scum ambushed your flight, we found you just in time” Hux easily spoke out. Aus nodded. “Here are your quarters, Commander” Hux said as they entered. “Forgive me sir, I do not remember much right now” she said, walking towards the closet. “That is to be expected with your injuries. Please take your time getting back at your post” Hux said.

                “Supreme Leader,” Aus commanded. Hux looked down to her as he stood only a few feet away. “I’m ready to command now,’ she said throwing on a beautiful red jacket, lined with black running down the arms to the cuffs. She walked past him and into the hallway, towards the bridge. Hux, startled by her actions, followed, trying to catch up. He may call himself Supreme leader, but he was still the snivaling weasel he had always been. Aus marched onto the bridge, the officers stared at her, confused. She went to the commanders station, looking up current headings, crew manifest, and whatever else she could think of to catch up on.

                “Who is this? Supreme Leader” she asked, bringing up the holding cells. It was an unmarked cell with a warm body in it. Hux joined her, looking at the blackened cell with the life signature. “That is a traitor. He was commander before you, but he betrayed us all” Hux said smugly. “Why is this traitor still alive?” Aus demanded. At this Hux smiled, “Come with me, Commander. We will end the traitor together, I was saving him for you anyway.”

                They walked into the lift without escort. There was silence. His mind was closed to hers as she tried to search it. The doors opened, and they stepped out. Hux entered the room first with a sinister smile “I have a something for you, traitor”. “Aus! No!” Ben yelled out as he saw her enter the room. She looked down on him, disgust on her face “Ren. Why does that not surprise me.” Ben looked at her in horror. Seeing her standing there next to Hux, unfeeling. Ben couldn’t feel her either, not that he could if he wanted to.

                Hux had come up with a device to dampen force powers. Ben was put in a sort of collar to control him. It hurt, but not as much as seeing her there, not feeling her. ‘What was she doing?’ he frantically thought. “Now my dear. Will you do the honors of putting this traitor out of his misery?” Hux smiled. Before he could finish, Aus called Hux blaster to her hand and shot Ben in the leg. She returned Hux blaster to him and turned out of the room. “Tend to his wound, no rations for 24 hours,” She commanded as she walked passed them. She felt their confusion as they looked to Hux, she turned towards them, “Do you question your Commander?” she snapped, raising a hand to emulate a force choke. They immediately stood at attention, nodded and went on their way. She lowered her hand and continued on.

                Hux met her in the turbo lift, “you were supposed to kill him!  And now you are ordering around my troopers?” Aus didn’t want to answer, but he stood over her until she did, “Torture is so much more fun. That traitor doesn’t deserve death, yet.” She returned her sights to the doors and Hux backed away slowly. He was uneasy at how her conditioning had taken so well, but she was darker than he had thought she would be.

Aus stood on the bridge staring out the view port for the rest of the evening. When the day way done, Hux escorted her back to her quarters. Gaurds posted at her door. “Why the guards, Supreme Leader?” she inquired. “To ensure your safety, my dear. After the attack on you, it is uncertain who can be trusted. I want you safe,” he answered. “Why do you keep calling me that, Sir?” she asked curiously. Hux was uncertain of how to answer such a question, but she beat him too it “Forgive me, Supreme Leader. But though my memory isn’t that quite as it should be at the moment, I vaguely remember something…with us. Please correct me if I’m wrong and out of line, Supreme Leader,” she finished.

                His demeanor changed and he awkwardly smirked, “Yes. Infact there was. Since you were a Trooper in my ranks actually. But As your memory isn’t clear right now, I do not expect anything but your loyalty, Commander”. She smiled slightly and nodded, “of course, Supreme Leader. Goodnight”.

Hux left, the doors closed. She showered and crawled into bed. She slept and had only nightmares.

 

 

3 days had passed since she had awaken on the Supremacy. Aus had been great at her duties as Commander. She was fair and loyal, the officers had started to grow accustomed to her.

Hux was proud his plan seemed to have worked, though he was still leery of the Jedi that was once Ren’s lover and Resistance fighter. He made sure that the reconditioning she indured was harsher and stronger than anyone had been given, he wanted it to work, wanted her to the orders, to be his. He hated force users, sought to kill them all, especially Kylo, but he even before she was a known force user, he was intrigued by her, when she was a storm trooper. Now she was powerful and the greatest asset he could have ever hoped for and she was his. Hux hardly left her alone, always looking for excuses to be near. She was a sight to behold, he constantly thought, strong, beautiful, and commanding.

 He walked up to her as she was signing off things on a datapad. “Hello, Commander,” he said, stopping next to her. “Supreme Leader, to what do I owe this honor?” she asked, waving the storm trooper off. “Yes, well, Commander,” he tries to stumble out, placing his hand on her lower back, “would you join me for dinner this evening?”

Surprised, with a slight smirk and she looked up to him from the side, “Of course, Supreme Leader. I would love too.”

Hux was indeed pleased by her acceptance, “Excellent. I shall see you at 1900 hours then?”

She nodded, he smiled and looked out over the hanger proudly. She smiled and looked back to her datapad. “I think it’s time we spoke about Ren. What do you suggest we do, Commander? I believe he is of no use to us any further,” hux asked her. Aus contemplated a moment, understanding where he was coming from. “I have been thinking about that. What is it that made him a traitor, for some reason, I don’t know.”

“Ren killed our Supreme Leader Snoke. Then during his time as Supreme Leader started fucking a resistance fighter, a traitor Storm Trooper. He was conspiring to bring the Order down then run home to his mommy and his whore. But, his whore is dead and his precious princess of a mother is near it,” he informed her.

“We used to train together, he and I. Does he think we are friends? I was curious after our meeting the other day,” she inquired.

“Yes, you were sparred…” Hux had a hard time finding the words.

“in any case, we could kill him, but… He is a powerful force user. And he believes me to be someone, an ally?” she asked.

Hux intrigued, “Yes.”

“Maybe we use that? We try to see if there’s anything he knows, then send him to reconditioning, maybe, he’ll come around… I mean, he did once, why not again? I can play with him a little… and if it works, you will be unstoppable. It would, however, require me to undo his collar, before you say anything, sir, he is far to weak to do anything, I’ve looked into it myself. I think this could work. He may know where the rebels are hiding and anything else he may have hidden,” she added.

Hux liked the passion in her voice, the idea of toying with the traitor, the idea of training him to be his fighter. He grabbed her hands, and smiled devilishly, “My dear, you may have your go at the traitor.” She smiled the largest smile, “thank you, Armi. I look forward to dinner.”

Aus walked to the lift, but stopped at the door, sensing a familiar presence. “FN-2000?” she asked the trooper standing next to it. “Yes, Commander” she responded. “with me,” Aus commanded. They got into the lift together. Standing next to each other, Aus tapped into 00’s feelings, trying to gauge whether she was still her or not. “How is the squad?” She asked. “The best, Commander” she replied.

After a while, the doors opened and the two stepped out. She ordered the troopers at the door away, and stood in the opening of Bens cell.  She used the force and moved the camera away.

He was laying on his side, eyes closed. She rushed to him, “Kylo, get up, we don’t have much time, we need to get out of here. I sent the gaurds away but they will only be gone so long before they know it was a trick”. Ben looked up at her, “Star light?” he barely got out. She tried picking him up, tried feeling him, but it was pointless, “Hold on a sec, don’t move, this might hurt” she said. She raised her hands and held them at the collar, she concentrated on breaking them. Ben fought screaming, but he shook, fighting it. Finally the collar broke and he could breathe.

Struggling to get him to his feet, “kylo, we need to go, im really screwed up, I don’t remember where the resistance is, where leia is, tell me so we can go. Your command shuttle is ready to go. Please tell me, my love” she pleaded. Kylo went with her, stumbling, he was so weak, “I don’t know, star light, you never told me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t go with you, I should have. You were always right.” They were still struggling once they got to the end of the hall, “Kylo, please tell me something, please, then we can get out of here, forever, go to the cabin in the woods next to the waterfall…” she pleaded.

The troopers stormed them, their blasters ready to fire. “Go, please, leave me,” Ben begged her as much as he could. She dropped him and turned around to look at him, her demeanor changing. “Pathetic. Too weak to be useful. Feed him and… have him bathed,” she ordered. She knelt down and grabbed him by the hair, “I have plans for you, Ren. You will be back to your former glory, I will see to it”. Ben stared into her fierce eyes, only sorrow and defeat in his own. He deserved this.

The troopers returned him to his cell. Aus and 00 got back into the lift and returned to duty.


	45. If we make it through December

It was time to meet with the Supreme Leader. Hux met Aus in the hall off the bridge, “shall I excort you, Commander?” he asked, offering his arm to her. She smiled and happily accepted it, taking his arm in hand. “Where are we going, Armi?” she asked, nervous as they walked further from the Supreme Leaders personal kitchen. “It’s a surprise, my dear” he answered.

They rounded the corner and into his quarters. “Your quarters are huge, but I guess that’s what you get when you become Supreme Leader,” she said flirtatiously. “Here, my chefs have prepared something special for us tonight,” he gestered to the set table for 2. Music played as he pushed the seat in for her and walked around to the otherside, removing his jacket. She had never seen Hux in anything but his entire uniform. He took a seat and they began eating.

“How did it go with, Ren? Your little plan?” he inquired. “The commander was too weak to give anything up, just telling me I never told him where the rebels were, which is probably true if I knew anything, but it gave me the opportunity to feel him out a bit. He’s nearly broken, it maybe to our advantage, I think I can get him back on the right side, Armi. And that would be good for YOU,” she offered.

“He’s a traitor!” hux sneered. “Yes, of course, old habits I guess, still trying to get ahold of my mind, forgive me, Supreme Leader,” she smiled. Hux found her to be so endearing. He stood and reached out his hand, “There is nothing to forgive, my dear. Jedi of the Order.” She smiled and took his hand. He led her to the center of the room, and they began to dance.

She looked up into his green eyes, “We’ve done this before. Remember!” she said, “but you were in a mask,” she added. He smirked, “yes. It a ball, on Naboo. We danced for what seemed like forever, the whole world watched you enchanting them, me, marveling in your grace and beauty” he cooed. “You are so strong, powerful, you are a warrior and so intellegnt,” he continued.

She stared into his eyes as he spoke, lost in his words. Then he kissed her. She was not prepared for it, but she kissed him back. She could feel his want for her, he finally opened himself a small amount, and it was nice. He grabbed her, squeezing tightly, “forgive me, my loyal Jedi, My commander…” his lips trembling, an unsure smirk on his face.

Without warning, he scooped her up and walked her to the bed, dropping her on it. “Armi?” she giggled out, “what are you doing?”. He unbuttoned his shirt as he stared at her. She watched, knowing exactly what he wanted. He ripped off his silk shirt, revealing a very toned, muscular physique. “Armi, I…I had no idea that…um….” She stumbled out. He was on top of her before she could finish her words. He kissed her argessively, running his hand up her inner thigh, forcing her legs apart and placing himself between them. While he kissed her neck, “Call me, Supreme. Leader,” he commanded with a smile. “yes, Supreme Leader,” she said right before he kissed her again.

**** **She was still wearing her red dress. Hux slithered his way down between her legs, pushing the dress up, and pressing his face against her new silk underthings, inhaling deepy. Aus laid there, her hands on his head. “POWER” muttered into her.**

**Hux sat up quickly, pulling her underthings off. He was on his knees, his black pants and muscular, nearly unblemished body on display. He stared at her in all her glory, he couldn’t believe she was there. He truly was Supreme Leader. He undid his pants, slowly, reaching in and pulling out his erection. He was well endowed. Hux crawled on her, pushing down his pants and shoving himself inside her. She winced at the pain it caused, he paid it no mind and kissed her.**

**Thrusting into her with intent. He grabbed her, kissed her, sucked on her, she moaned. He lifted one of her legs, pushing it towards her head as far as possible. He slid back into her, it elicted a a moan so delicious, he thought he would cum at the moment, but he pushed through, he would not fail while inside the Jedi, he was going to make her undoubtly his. He was going to make her want him, endlessly.**

**“On your knees,” he commanded. She did as she was told and turned over. He rammed inside her again. “Ahh” she purred out. She could feel his enjoyment, “Supreme Leader”. Hux grunted, his pleasure spiking, “say it again, Jedi” he managed. He wrapped his arm around her waist and rubbed on her clit. “AH, Supreme Leader!” she moaned out again.**

**Hux sunk his teeth into her shoulder. She was getting close, “Supreme Leader, I’m…” she breathlessly let out. He began to pound, rub and bite harder. When she climaxed and tightened around his cock, he unleashed his build up inside her.******

Hux turned onto his back, she laid on his chest and looked at him. “Armi. My Supreme Leader,” she feircly spoke. Hux was in esctacy, he felt like he could even care for her. He was the most powerful man in the Galaxy.


	46. Piece by Piece

Supreme Leader Hux was fast asleep when Aus slipped out of bed. She dressed and made her way back to her Rooms. When she entered, she got undressed, laying her clothing over a chair. She slowly made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She ran to the toilet and vomited. Tears streamed down her cheeks, as she continued vomiting. When she finally stopped, Aus sat there and cried. After a while, she pulled herself into the fresher, she turned it on as hot as she could. The boiling hot water ran over her, it hurt, it burned, but she didn’t want any trace of that thing, on her.

                Ben was going to hate her when he found out, but she was more than happy to let him hate her, only if that meant he were alive to do so. She hoped he believed her, when she set up the ruse to “get information” from him. She was so happy once that collar broke and she could tell him everything. Tell him it was a trick to get info, that she was actually her, but she had to pretend the reconditioning took. She sent him everything she could to ensure that he believed her, and with the help of 00, the troopers were just on time. Aus felt like she didn’t deserve Ben anymore. He wasn’t Kylo Ren anymore. He was him, now. But she couldn’t risk him, she had to keep going. Little by little she was going to strengthen him, and with 00 and the help of the resistance troopers, it was going to happen, soon… she hoped.

                Her body went numb as she stared off into nothing. “I’m nothing, I deserve nothing, I need to do this, to get him out of here, I’m nothing, I deserve to die…” she kept reciting. Lost in her thoughts and the boiling hot water, she didn’t feel the thrum, the live wire of the connection coming to life.

                Ben saw her, cowering in the corner in the fresher, rocking back and forth, he could see the water rolling off her. Her skin reddened from it. He heard words over and over. “Star Light?” he whispered. But she didn’t hear him, “Aus,” he whispered again. “No!” she yelled, terrified, “no! you can’t see me!” Shamed rolled off her. “what is it?” he pleaded, “no! don’t speak, they can hear you!” she yelled. “I’m going to get you out of here, Ben. That’s all that matters now,” guilt rolled off her as she tried to hide behind confidence.

                Ben frantically looked up, worried. He was looking at someone. “What do you want?” he asked. The connection lost. She started to cry again, but a knock came at her door. “Enter” she replied as she ran her head under the water to hide her tears. 00 entered “Aus, Hux wants you in Rens cell, now” she relayed. “What is it?” she asked. 00 didn’t know, only that he would requests her presence.

                Aus, dressed and groomed, 00 in tow as she reached the level. Hux was waiting for her just outside. “Ah, my dear, I’m so pleased you’re here. I have something for you, that may help with Ren, come!” he smirked. They walked in together, she stared at him from the side, a curious smile on her face. Ben was on his knees, being forced to stare at a monitor on the wall. He tried looking up at her, only to be forced towards the monitor again.

                With a smile, Hux looked to one of troopers “go ahead, turn it on”. “You’ll enjoy this my love,” he whispered to Aus. Smiling, she looked to the monitor.

“Armi,” she giggled while he pawed at her, “what are you doing?” she giggled again. He recorded them fucking, to make Ben watch. She was mortified, sick to her stomache, but she wasn’t allowed to show it. She was it, unmoving, a slight smirk. Inside she died.

                Ben went crazy, thrashing around. She yelled at him through whatever was left through their bond to calm or Hux was going to kill him. Ben tried to calm, but everything he knew, he hated. He didn’t know what to feel.

                Hux bent down in front of Ben, not touching him, “You see Ren, your weakness will always destroy you. The power of the Jedi at my side, I will do what you never could,” Hux raised a hand to call Aus over. She met him, taking his hand, standing behind him. Ben looked up to her, seeing her face completely vacant. He seethed as he looked back to Hux. Aus could feel the betrayal, the hate, the disgust rolling off Ben in waves.

                He said nothing. Hux stood, smiling. “Come, my dear,” he said, Aus following him out of the room. “Make sure that plays, loud and on repeat, perhaps it will break him,” he told the trooper stationed outside.

                In the lift, Hux was smiles. Aus was not so much, though she held her poise. She was stoic, always. “I’m sorry my dear, I would have told you, but I needed it to be real,” he explained. She swallowed everything should could not to kill him right there, she turned to him with a smile, “that doesn’t bother me, Supreme Leader, what I am most thinking about, what you said. Do you love me?” she asked. Hux was shocked by her reaction, thinking that if she were faking or a traitor, this surely would have broken her as well, but she wanted to know if he loved her and he supposed he did, especially after she passed his test too. He didn’t answer, the doors to the lift opened too soon. They stepped out, he bowed and kissed her hand, “Goodnight, Commander, Jedi of the Order, My love”. Hux watched her as she walked away and out from sight. “have Rens feed sent to my quarters, I want to watch him,” Hux ordered a trooper.

                In her rooms, she was unfeeling. She removed her clothing once more and went to the fresher. She was interrupted in her quest when Supreme Leader Hux barged in, “Forgive the intrusion, my dear, but it couldn’t wait,” Hux knelt down, and reached his hand upward, “I do love you, you are everything I could ever want, you are everything in this galaxy. Would you do me the honors of being my Empress.”

Her eyes widened in shock, she threw on a smile and jumped into his arms, “Yes! Armi, Of Course!” They kissed, His tongue in her mouth, hers in his. He waved the troopers out and they got up and went to the bed. “Armi, I have 2 requests,” she said, as he laid her on the bed. “Anything, my Empress,” he excitedly answered, looking up at her. “1, no more recordings of our intimacy, that is for you and I only, and I would hope you are intimate with me because you want to, not because it may torture someone or whatever the case may be,”  she stated.

                Hux bowed his head, “I will never detray you again in such a matter, my love. And everything we did, it was because I wanted you. I do swear that as I am Supreme Leader.” She smiled sweetly and knowlying, nodding. “and the 2nd, my dear?” he inquired, running his hands up her thigh again. “Leave Ren to me. I think he’d be a wonderful pet project, and if he doesn’t come around, we’ll kill him,” she said. Against his better judgement, he agreed. He wouldn’t kill her til her say so and he would let her do as she pleased, as long as her knew about it.

                Hux shoved his face into her nether regions once again, running his hands up and down her sides. “You’re perfect,” he said, when he pushed her back, removed her underthings and shoved his tongue inside her.

                She lay back, only thinking about having to continue putting on a show, incase there were cameras in her rooms too, which she surmised there were, he never fully trusted her, so she would have to put on a show until the day came.

                She just wanted him to be done with her so she could go vomit and burn under the water again.

Twice a day over the next 2 days, Hux would fuck her and fuck her and she would pretend to love it, every moment of it. He wasn’t cruel, but he wasn’t loving either. She missed Ben to the point that she thought maybe they would have been better off dead. But she was doing this for him, to save him, because he was worth it. Even if she lost herself and her soul, piece by piece.


	47. It's only make believe

Aus convinced the 00 to remove the video, blaming a file corruption that couldn’t be traced. She she had Ben feed more and more, if he would eat. She couldn’t face him just yet, she needed some time to see if it would be easier, but it wasn’t. 7 days after Hux showed the video to Ben, she had to make a decision. She had a chair set in the room and went in. for the camera, she had to continue her mask.

                Earlier in the day, 00 and 2 other troopers staged a beatin on Ren for not eating, during which time 00 was able to turn off the collar. They were fully aware that it may kill them, but they assured him, they were still with him.

                When she entered, she was terrified. Not terrified of what he might do, but that he may not love her…anymore. And she knew she deserved that.

                “Kylo” she said, as she sat staring at him.

He didn’t look at her. She didn’t blame him.

                “Kylo, is this about the video? Supreme Leader Hux and I, we are to be married soon. I am to be Empress. And I want you as my hand, Ren. To help control this machine we have going. The Supreme Leader has offered to forgive past discrepencies and move forward if you rejoin your rightful place, with us” she repeated as she practiced.

                Ben looked to her with hate. She was banging on his mind, begging him to let her in for just a moment, so she could tell him the plan, her plan to get him out and end the Order and HUX once and for all.

                “I’m sure you two will be very happy,” he spit at her.

                “yes, of course. What could be better than aiding my Supreme Leader?” she added.

‘Ben please! I don’t deserve you or your love, but I made you a promise, and I will get you out of here, and you will destroy the order like you said. Its just different now. I don’t hate hux anymore…” she screamed at him through their dissolving bond. “No, you love him, I actually saw that, you are a jedi whore”.

She was torn into her last piece. “You fucking idiot, there’s no word that describes what I feel for him, hate can never describe… its worse than hate, and when the time comes, he will suffer, but right now, I don’t know what can be more pain than what you just went through. It may mean nothing to you, but I love you, and that is only because there is no word stronger or more suited to how I feel for you, I would never had come if it were not the case” she finished.

                When she left the cell and the doors closed behind her, she went to the bridge and stared out the viewing port.

“Commander, theres an incoming message from the resistance, shall I get the supreme leader?” an officer relayed. “no, I will take it,” she ordered.

                “This is Aus, Jedi of the Order and Commander,” she formally answered.

“Aus?” The transmission came up.

Poe Damerons voice came over the comm.

“Commander, he’s requesting a video tansmission,” an officer said.

“Bring up the holo” Aus replied.

Poe’s face came up at the center of the room.

“Commander Dameron, what can the Order do for you and your Rebel scum? Have you contacted us to discuss your surrender?” She said sarcastically.

“I just, I can’t believe…They were right, you’re back with the Order. Aus, I didn’t want to believe you were commanding it, but…He did this too you, didn’t he?! I knew it. I knew it was all lies,” Poe started going off.

Hux walked on to the bridge, stopping to observe. 

“Who? Who did what to me?” She replied coyly.

“Ren, that fucking coward—” he said,

Putting up a hand, “Commander Dameron, in a few weeks time, My love and I will be married, I will be Empress of the Galaxy,” she stated.

She reached out a hand to Hux, he took it with a smile and came to stand next to her.

Poe was beside himself, “You’re a traitor, we all believed in you, I believed in you! Ren was bad enough, but--”

Aus cut him off, “Commander Ren? The very same Kylo Ren that now resides in a cell for treason, conspiring with the Resistance, With General Organa and a defected stormtrooper whore? Trying to bring down MY Order. My Supreme Leaders, Order!?”

“What are you talking about? How could you, how could you do this to Leia!?” he screamed.

“I give you and your Rebel scum 4 days to surrender, no harm will come to you, any of you. At my word as a Jedi,” she stated.

Poe was furious, “Your were as a Jedi…What is this!?”

“Dameron, go jump in that shiny new X-Wing you have, you might find something useful in there. Then fly into the side of a Mountian…Resistance Hero,” she finished. Gestered to the officer to shut down the vid.

Hux pulled her forcefully into his quarters, “What is it you think you were doing?! Why was I not informed of the transmission?!”

“I find it odd that Dameron acted as if he knew me?” she stated.

Hux nearly choked, “undercover work you did a while back, my dear. But enough about that.”

He vigorously kissed her. Aus went along with it, she coud feel is fear, faint as it was, she could feel it.

*** **He undid his belt while they kissed. She saw what he wanted and she didn’t want too, but she knew she had too. She helped him, then watched his eyes as he stared her down. His cock was engorged, the short red curls at the base. She took it in hand, then into her mouth.**

**“Im Supreme Leader, ruler of the Galaxy,” he stuttered out as she continued. He grabbed the back of her head and pushed and pulled her onto him without mercy. Aus did her best to not choke and gag, it was terrible. His cock forced down her throat, he moaned and nearly fell as she choked.**

**It was an incredible feeling for him, and he let go, down her throat**.***

She wiped her tears before he saw her face. She stood, kissed him deeply and turned to leave, “I have business to tend to, Supreme Leader, she turned with a smirk. See you later.” She left.

“I’m going to give you something extremely extraordinary for our wedding,” he cooed.

Hux felt like a king, she made him feel like what he wanted to accomplish was going to happen no matter what and she would be his Empress. He would wipe out the rest of the Resistance and anyone else that stood in their way. And Ren…..Did she really believe Ren could be brought back, that Hux would allow him too, or ever trust him? He would have Ren killed and Her if she ever showed signs of disceet. But for now, he was going to love her.


	48. Just give me a Reason

Poe sat looking at the transmission station in disbelief.

Rey and Finn ran in to the room, seeing Poe was done, “How’d it go? Do they have Aus?” Rey yelled out. “Poe? Whats wrong? Did they kill her?” Finn asked, suddenly worried.

Poe looked at them, shock and broken heartedness filled the air, “She is them.”

“What does that mean?” Finn asked.

“She is the Commander of the Order and she’s marrying Supreme Leader Hux. She is going to be Empress of the Galaxy…” Poe muttered out.

Finn and Rey stood in shock, “it can’t be true. What about Ben? She loves him” Rey shouted. “Who’s Ben?” Finn and Poe asked quickly. Rey went silent, she just told the secret she swore she wouldn’t.

Poe grabbed her arms, “Who’s Ben?” she sternly asked again.

Gathering herself, she swung her arms and break the contact with him then knocked him down ,”Don’t you EVER grab me like that again.”

Poe struggled to his feet, and calmed himself, “I’m sorry, Rey. But I need to know, who is Ben?”

“Kylo Ren…” she said with guilt. Poe and Finn took a step back. “You mean to tell me that you knew that Aus and Kylo Ren, our enemy, were fucking?” Poe angrily yelled at Rey. “No! They were in love and it was terrible for both of them. He wanted her to rule the Galaxy with him, Killed Snoke for her, She wanted him to come with her, be here and fight for the good side and he just wouldn’t, until Naboo…”

“you mean when Leia was attacked? He probably did it! They are both traitors, and now you are one too. Finn, take her to Leia,” Poe ordered.

Finn refused. Rey was devastated, “you really believe me to be a traitor?”

Poe paced, “I don’t know what to think! It was weird though, she acted like she didn’t know me, not really, like she only knew who I was, not that I was her friend. I’m sorry, I don’t know. We need to tell Leia that she betrayed us.”

Finn interjected, trying to defuse the situation, “What exactly was said?”

“We have 4 days to surrender unharmed, like I believe her. And that I need to fly into the side of a mountain,” he said, as if it was pointless to state. “You said she didn’t know you?” Finn asked. “Yeah” Poe replied annoyed.

“She was reconditioned, Poe” Finn said with excitement. “What does that mean?” Rey asked. “When someone acts up within the Order, especially the Storm Troopers, they’re sent to reconditioning. It scrambles their minds and basically resets them to whatever the Order wants,” Finn finished.

“So? She’s still one of them!” Poe yelled.

“Listen! When we were in the Order together, she was sent 2 times...” Finn stated, “it doesn’t work on her. She faked it when she came back. What if that’s the case now? I know her, she would never stand for the Order willingly, and Hux… She may have loved Kylo for how weird that sounds, we hated him though, were scared, but that was nothing in comparison to how much she hated Hux.”

Everyone went quiet. “Do you think that’s it?” Rey asked. Finn nodded, “it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

Poe paced and paced. Thinking over and over. ‘what if Finns right? What if Finns wrong? What’s Leia going to say?’

“What’s going on in here?” Leia said from the doorway. She walked towards them, none of them saying anything. “Well?” she asked.

“I contacted the Order looking for Aus, see if they had her,” Poe offered. “And?” she asked. “the rumors are true…She’s their new Commander, Their Jedi and She’s marrying Hux, the new Supreme Leader…”he regretfully said.

“Are you sure?” she asked. Everyone nodded, “I saw her myself, snuggled up to Hux,” Poe added, turning to walk away. “What about Kylo Ren?” Leia inquired. “uh, Ben, they have him in a cell. Treason,” Rey answered. Leia tried to hide her sorrow, there was no time for that now, everything was falling apart.

“There may be a chance she’s faking it,” Rey added.

“I bet she is. Come, I need to tell you all something,” Leia said defeated.

She told them about Aus and Ben, about their marriage and the full details of what the plans with Naboo and Kylo Ren. They listened, while Poe fumed. He felt betrayed by everything and everyone he knew, but it was hard to stay angry when it came from Leia.

“What are we supposed to do with this info, Leia. I’m supposed to be helping you lead this resistance and you kept this all from me?” Poe pleaded. “I bet she didn’t tell you for the same reason I didn’t, you accused me of being traitor the moment I told you!” Rey said, “you can’t handle it!”

Poe let her words sink in and calmed down. “She went to find him. The day she left, she felt something, a terrible, agonizing, pain from Ben. She knew something wasn’t right and went to the Order to find him,” Leia said factly. “Right, then Hux probably got her, sent her to reconditioning. We have to get them back!” Finn said.

“Them?” Poe asked, agitated.

“She wont come back with out him, Poe. I believe everything Leia’s told us and it makes sense, THEY are how we end this, and she’s our friend, especially when she didn’t have to be,” Finn assured him.

Poe left the room, he couldn’t take anymore. Walking in the open desert air trying to clear his head.

Hours passed, as Poe looked up into the nights sky. “Hey,” he heard from behind him. Poe turned to see Rose.

She walked up to him, carefully, “Finn told me what happened. And everything else. You don’t seem ok, wanna talk about it?”

“No” he said quickly.

Rose sat there in silence with him. Barely a moments passed when Poe broke the silence, “what did she see in him anyway? I mean, he’s a killer, a murderer, destroyer of everything and a giant man baby that throws temper tantrums like no one else…”

“He’s also Leia and Hans son” she added. “But it’s not like she knew that when she started to…” Poe tried.

“Poe, it doesn’t really matter. All that mattered to her was that she loves him and from what ive been told and heard throughout the passed 2 years, HE loves her too. She went to save him,” she said, cutting him off.

“But why him? He’s nothing like the rest of us, he’s always going to be the bad guy. I’m not perfect but, I…” Poe admitted but couldn’t finished. He knew he sounded like a fool. “I love Rey, she is everything to me and I fucked that up too. I guess It really fucked me up subcauntiously knowing she wanted him. Why wasn’t I good enough to make he forget him?” he finished.

“You can’t break soul mates. They found eachother in a place they shouldn’t have, they found something. Their love brought the Mighty Kylo Ren back to Ben. He was going to destroy the Order for her,” she, smiling.

“So, he says,” Poe replied.

“Do you really believe that?” Rose said accusingly.

Poe shook his head. After everything today, and even though he wanted to fight it, he couldn’t. He still had his doubts though, because there was always a chance they were all wrong.

“I need to go talk to Rey, try and salvage what I can. I love her so much, and if Kylo Ren can find love, I shouldn’t through mine away. She wonderful, in everything that she is,” Poe finished, smiling and feeling better. He slapped Rose on the back, “Ah, okay. Let’s get back inside, looks like a sandstorm’s comin. Better close the hanger, sand in an X-wing…” Poe stopped.

“What is it?” Rose asked Poe looking around strangely. He took off towards the hanger. Rose ran after him, “Poe, What are you doing? Where are we going?” Poe ran to Aus fighter and jumped into the cockpit. Rose climbed the ladder and looked in, “What are you looking for?”

Poe frantically searched, “jump in that shiny new X-Wing you have, you might find something useful.”

“What?” rose asked dumbfounded. “That’s what she said, Aus, right before she cut the transmission.” Next to the starter, the corner of a piece of flimsy was sticking out. He grabbed it and opened it frantically, staring. “What is it?” Rose inquired. They stared at the drawing. “Think that’s what she wanted you to find?” Rose, curious as ever.

“Okay. Now I believe,” Poe said, staring at the drawing of him, Rey, Rose, Finn, Aus and Ben sitting around a fire, laughing and loving life.


	49. Can we Pretend?

00 stood watch as Aus hid in the shadows of the hanger. Bent over in a corner vomiting over and over after the event of eariler. What a vile creature he was, to force her like that. The worse it was for her, the more he enjoyed it. The thrumming of their bond started, frightened, she looked for some place to hide knowing it would do no good. She tried to close it, but it was working. He came into sight and the only she wanted was to go to him. She reached out, but caught herself “Ben…” she whispered. Then averting her eyes.

He was already staring at her, he could feel everything she felt, it was both a relief and heartbreaking, “Did he hurt you?”

                “It’s ok, I can handle it, anything that gets me closer to getting you out of here. I don’t care if you hate me…as long as you’re out,” she shivered out. She was starting to feel the weakening cold signs from vomiting to much. Her limbs tingled. “I don’t deserve you, and I know that now…” she added.

                “You’re weak,” he said. “I know, you are so much stronger than I am,” she replied.

                “No, you are physically weak. Not eating?” he asked, his tone becoming worried. Then he felt it. Her guilt. Everything that she’d been having to go through, all of it. She was too weak to stop it from sending to him.

                “Wait, Ben. How do you feel me, the collar…” she got out, still shivering. “You’re friend, Fn-2000,” he replied. “Aus, I love you, I’m sorry for what I said,” he added.

                She started crying uncontrollably, “Ben…”

                “Shh..it’s ok my Star Light,” he cooed. “We both have done terrible things, and this is going to be one of those things. We cant pull this off if you’re weak, Faceless storm trooper,” he said, intending to elicit her rebellious side. She smiled at him through tired eyes. “I don’t know what im going to do, the guilt I feel…” she admitted. Ben cut her off, “stop. Think of this as a mission. You need to find a way to regain your strength. When you’re with him, don’t feel guilt, feel…revenge… that should help,” he ordered.

                “You _want_ me to _enjoy_ my time with him?” she cried. He nodded, “Since I know you wont leave me even if I begged you too, it’s just one step closer to getting what you want, my love. I do not and will not hate you for it,” he reassured her, sending the light he had been finding within himself. She felt it, almost as if he were there with her, holding her, trying to comfort her. “I miss you soo much,” she quivered out, starting to regain her poise, her strength.

                “I have an idea, but I know you’re not going to like it,” she said. Ben laid there, he had nothing else to do and listened to every word.

The connection faded and Aus was standing, pulling herself together. She exited the shadows and started her journey towards her other duties with 00 in tow. She wanted to her what the plan was, but there was always fear they would be found out. So to save her friend, she did not tell her. “thank you for whatever you did with Bens collar. He’s getting stronger, that’s good,” she said to 00. “Of course, Commander. Whatever we can do,” she replied.

                Over the course for several days, Aus visited Ben, but she was always Commander, Jedi of the Order in there and he did as they had planned, allowed her to control him, to defeat him. She would brainwashed him verbally but they were still very connected by the force. She would sit in a chair front of him. Tell him he was nothing but what the Order wanted him to be. How he was a traitor, etc. That they would forgive him if he would kneel before the Order once more, the Supreme Leader, Her.

                “What do you want, Kylo Ren?” she would ask. He would be kneeling, bowing to her “To serve you, my Commander. To serve the Order. Give everything I am, to the Darkside, to you.”

                This continued for hours every day. It was to the point that Kylo Ren was believable. She would order him to do humiliating things, killing herself in side whilst doing it. But Ben knew and did them anyway, he was going ot make sure SHE got out alive over anything.

Over the same several days Hux fucked her, and this time she enjoyed it. She enjoyed relishing in the fact he believed she loved him, the she was going to bring him power, bring him everything and that soon he would suffer a fate worse than death. She enjoyed knowing that it would all come to an end.

“Its been 4 days, my dear and the rebels you so kindly offered safety in exchange for their surrender have declined. When we find them, there will be not mercy,” he enjoyed every word that came from his mouth. “I understand, Supreme Leader,” she replied, “Any word on their whereabouts, anything we can use?” she added. He shook his head, but assured her he had a spy that was on their tails.

                “What’s the status on Ren?” he asked as they walked to the throne room. She used to hate going in there with him, reminding her  what happened there, but now it was where she planned on killing him and it brought joy to her.

                The trooper rebellion was nearing, word was getting out and it started to spread like wild fire, but somehow, the Order knew nothing. The resistance was quiet, and that had to have been a good thing. Aus had hoped that Poe got the message, about the drawing, that she wasn’t really gone. So much weighed on hope at this point.

                “Supreme Leader, I believe that Kylo Ren is back, with exception” she replied.

                “And what would that be?” He asked.

                “He’s… kind of Kylo Ren. He will do anything at my order. And he looks like him, but he’s nearly empty. I could feel him, dying as I did what I did. He’s given up all hope, and now, he’s ours,” she said factly.

                Hus found it hard to believe and would need a demonstration. It would have to be something terrible that the new Ren, _her_ Ren, wouldn’t do. However, if she controls him, then He controls both of  them, “Alright, lets go talk with him, shall we?”

                Aus was shocked and unsure, Hux had closed himself off and she was unable to feel what he had planned. She hated that.

                They went down the levels, Aus waved off 00, and both her and hux walked to Bens cell. They entered and Ben got up and knelt, “Supreme Leader; Commander.” Hux sneered at the sight of Ren kneeling before him. “How do we know this isn’t a trick?” he asked her. “You think I would betray you, my love? You think I’m not powerful enough to know if he was lying?” she inquired. He looked back to Ren, “Only one way to find out, My Jedi.”

                “Ren, Stand,” Hux ordered. Ben stood, awaiting orders. Aus had him changed into Kylo Rens uniform. Hux walked around him, looking him up and down, “Ren, stand one leg, stick your arms out and wiggle them.” Ben did as he asked. “Wonderful. My dear, I think you may have been onto something,” he said smugly. “One last thing. Ren, kill the Commander with a force choke,” Bens face went unchanged as he turned to her. Aus looked to Hux for confirmation, he was smirking.

                Ben and Aus both raised their hands, like an old time duel. Ren was lifted off the ground, tippy toes barely touching, he reached to his neck, clawing at the invisible force. She watched him struggle and begged forgiveness as she did.

                “Enough,” Hux ordered. Aus dropped him, Kylo went down, struggling to get back into kneeling form. He was coughing and returning to his normal color. “Marvelous. I do believe you were right, he will be kept here for the time being, but soon he will be free to roam and aid in our final battles,” Hux said proudly.

                Aus stormed out of the cell, fuming, enraged and so close to just killing him now.

“Just excellent, as he exited the cell,” Kylo was unmoving, as he should be, the camera was always on.

“Wait, my dear,” Hux shouted as he met her in the lift. “I should kill you for what you did to me in there,” She snidely replied. “Please forgive me, my Empress. I had to make sure and now I believe, Kylo Ren is _mine_. This is most excellent. We should celebrate,” he happily spoke.

The doors opened and she exited. She did not reply and she was ok if he was angry with her. Hux couldn’t understand why she was upset, he never would have allowed Ren to actually kill her. He just wanted to see if the broken bastard would do it. Hux relished in the nothingness in Kylos eyes as he choked her. He knew he had finally won.


	50. You, me and the Devil makes 3

In her fresher, Aus mediated. She needed to feel freedom. They had a plan and she wanted to get it to Leia. After her ordeal with Ben and Hux earlier in the day, Aus met with 00 and a few other trooper resistance leaders. They finally came up with an date to bring it all down. They even knew who the spy was that Hux ordered to find the Resistance, some lowlife named Marquee, a muun with an appetite for getting paid.

She concentrated on Leia. Pushing through everything she new and hoped something would happen.

“Aus?” Leia said aloud, feeling her presence. “Leia!” She shouted with her mind, “I don’t have much time. There is a spy, one of the galaxy best, a Muun named Marquee. He is looking for you and close as we are told. The Trooper uprising is happening in 4 days, the day after my wedding. Ben is okay, we are…okay. I hope wherever you are, you’re safe,” she finished. Before Leia could get anything out, Aus broke the connection, feeling light headed and drained.

She lay in the fresher for a while longer then got out. “Have Commander Ren taken to his quarters,” she ordered a Lt. trooper. “We were told he is to stay were he is,” he replied. “I am the commander of the Order, Jedi and you will take Commander Ren to his quarters. You will also remind him that he is under surveillance while his is in there,” she finished. The trooper stood tall and repeated her order, turning going off to fetch the Commander.

She knew Hux would come to her, she was ready for it. Instead he didn’t. Her evening was silent as she worked.

The following day, Ben was confined to his room, which was fine. He sat there and stared at the wall mostly. He was allowed his saber and he practiced.

“Supreme Leader would like to see you now, Commander,” a Lt. trooper reported. Aus wasn’t surprised. He had left her alone for nearly 2 days, it was nearing the end of her shift and she was tired. She hoped she could lay in bed and try to connect with Ben. She missed him so much.

“Commander, report for the day,” he ordered from his throne. She went down a list of the days ongoings, the deals that had closed and reminders for talks with certain leaders. Hux smiled, “this is most excellent. We are so close my dear,” he said leaving his throne and walking to her. She was still livid with him for doing what he did, she made no attempt to suggest otherwise. “My Empress, I understand that you must still be upset. I truly would never have allowed him to kill you if he was truly trained,” he cooed while he knelt before her, “it is not everyday that a Supreme Leader would kneel to a Commander,” he added.

“What about his Empress?” she retorted. He smiled, stood and kissed her hands, “Yes, of course my love. You forgive me then?” he asked. She smiled and landed a kiss on him. “wonderful. I have a surprise for you, for us really. I know you don’t like surprises, but I think you will like this one, and I think we can both enjoy it. Think of it as continuing my apology,” He let out, leading her by the hand.

They went to his room, she was looking at him, “adoration” in her eyes. He smiled the largest smile as they walked in.

Horror crossed her face at what she saw. Ben was standing there, in the center of Hux room. A blank stare on his face. “Why is he hear, Armi?” she asked, trying to hide the fear in her voice. “not to worry, I have ordered him here to apologize to you for what he did,” Hux hid behing false sincerity. “Ren, apologize to your Commander, your Empress,” he ordered. “My apologies, Commander,” Ben robotically let out. “Oh come Ren, you must feel bad, afterall, she is the reason you are alive. Get on your knees and apologize,” Hux ordered, a crooked smile on his lips and satisfaction rolling off him in waves.               

Ben knelt, took her hands in his and looked up, “forgive me, _my_ Empress. Please.” Through their bond, they felt such joy at touching the other. “You are forgiven, Commander Ren,” she fondly replied. “That’s good. But I don’t think it’s enough. You made her feel terrible, Ren. Nearly killed her. Let’s make our Empress feel alive!” Hux said. His feelings were starting to scare her, he was thoroughly enjoying this and she couldn’t figure out why. Neither could. Ben was still on his knees. Aus looked up at Hux.

Hux reached out to Aus, she took his hand. He walked her over to the bed and sat her down. “Don’t be afraid, my sweet. My fearless warrior. I am giving something to you, but I think we’ll both enjoy this,” he said, making her skin crawl.

**_***“Remove your underthings,” he commanded. She was terrified. She lifted her Imerpical dress slightly and removed them. “Now sit,” he ordered. She sat back down, looking back and forth between Ben and hux. She did everything she could to hide her terror._ **

**_“Ren, crawl to her,” Hux told him. Ben got to his hands and knees and crawled on all fours, stopping just at the end of the bed. He averted his eyes, looking downwards. “Look at her, is she not beautiful? Is she not Powerful? Is she not EVERYTHING the Galaxy deserves?” he asked. Ben looked up, “Yes, my Empress is everything, Supreme Leader.”_ **

**_“Touch her,” he ordered. Aus stared at Hux, she was scared now and Hux could see it. “Don’t be afriad my Dear, this is my gift to you,” he said, reassuring her. And from what she could find in his mind, he was being honest._ **

**_Ben brought his hands up but was stopped by Hux, “Lift her dress and press your face to her.” Hux walked to them and kneeled down to get a closer look. They were nearly shaking by the time Ben pushed her dress up. He pressed his face to her and inhaled. “Lick her,” Hux cooed. Ben licked at the little button between her lady folds._ **

**_It was terrifying but they were touching, they were close, after so long. He missed everything about her, and they could both feel it._ **

**_She placed her hands on his head and ran her fingers through his hair. Hux sat on the bed next to her and ran his hand over her head. She was confused by how excited he was. She started moaning, ‘Ben’ she kept sending through their bond. He grabbed her hips and nestled in a little closer, nearly forgetting the situation, and just kept going. “Now a finger, inside her, Ren. Fuck her and lick her,” Hux ordered as he stood, watching her face as Ben entered her. 1 finger then a second. “Ah,” her breath hitched. She tightened her grip on Bens hair. Their bond had always made things so intense._ **

**_Hux began disrobing. His jacket, his shirt. He watched Ben finger fuck her and lick her, never slowing. “Stop,” he ordered. Ben stopped immediately, though with much difficulty. Aus let out a terrible whimper. She was close, which didn’t help._ **

**_“Ren, take off your clothes,” he ordered. Ben was filled with rage and disgust, but he did it. He took off everything, and eventually stood there naked. “Now you, My love” Hux ordered Aus._ **

**_She pulled her dress off and lay there as she was told. He walked around Ben, stopping. They were the same height, Ben’s body was much broader and thicker than Hux, and their cocks were similar too, though Hux was slightly longer and thinner than Ben’s._ **

**_Hux grabbed Ben’s head and pressed his lips against his. Aus was utterly shocked and could feel Bens revulsion immediately. He wanted to cut Hux down right there. They really didn’t need to keep him alive, Ben was strong and powerful and he had his love with him once again. But in that same thought he knew they wouldn’t make it out alive…and something else…She was completely repulsed… but he could also feel her slight curiosity and arousal spike._ **

**_Ben opened his mouth to Hux. If he couldn’t choke him for the force or his light saber, he was going to try with his tongue. They fought eachother for dominance as she watched. Grabbing eachother forcefully, hatefully, shoving their tongues in the others mouth._ **

**_Hux’s mind was open and an image of his next intention with Ben flashed both their minds. Ben pulled away, Hux had a sneer cross his face. “Ren,” he started. But Aus stopped him, walking in between. “Supreme Leader, please don’t forget about me…” She said pouting, running her hand up and down his chest. She turned and faced Ben, pressing herself against Hux, drapping her arm around around his neck. Hux smirked, running his hands up and down her, kissing her arm, shoulder, neck._ **

**_Ben stood there and watched, Jealousy and hatred seeped off him like a hurricane. “Commander Ren, you will touch me as you please,” she ordered. “He’s not a Commander and he will not touch you unless I say!” Hux yelled. “Yes,” she shut him down, rubbing herself against him. He wanted to fight back, but it gave him a hint of pleasure, that she was forceful. “Commander Ren, as you wish,” she commanded. Ben went to his knees and hugged her, taking her small breast in his mouth. He flickered her nipple with his tongue, causing her to gasp._ **

**_Both men were rubbing her, touching her, kissing her as if she were a Goddess. “I’m sorry Ben,” she sent through their bond. “Enjoy this, my love, it’s one step closer,” he sent back. She couldn’t believe what he was saying, but she knew it would only add to the sweetness that would be the demise of the Great Hux and the Order. And that made it incredibly erotic._ **

**_She pulled away, taking both in hand, leading them back to the bed. Hux crawled onto the bed after her, shoving his tongue into her mouth. Ben crawled behind her, sucking on her neck and shoulder. With one hand around her stomach, Ben moved his other to her sex, holding it like a king guarding his castle._ **

**_She backed onto Bens cock as he rocked her back and forth, continuing to kiss and suck on her neck. The sounds he pulled from her were exquisite. Ben had neve forgotten what she felt like or sounded like, but for a moment it was new again. He moaned, into her shoulder as she tensed around his cock._ **

**_Hux pulled her from him, flipped her around and slid inside her, biting her shoulder. Hux stared Kylo down as he rocked with her. Hux then grabbed her at the back of her neck and forced her downward, “take the Ren’s cock in your mouth” he ordered, “lay back, Ren”. Kylo laid back, staring into her eyes. “Enjoy this, my Love,” she sent to him, she opened her mouth and engulfed him. He moaned and laid back completely, running his fingers through her hair._ **

**_Hux pounded away at her, watching her swallow Ben with every thrust. It was strange how it excited him, watching this, being apart of this, being in complete control for once. This is what he deserved, this power, all this power. This complete power._ **

**_Aus dug her nails into Bens hips as she grew near, Ben was nearing too. She tried reaching for Hux, urging him along. He went harder, he didn’t fill her like Ben did, but it was enough. She climaxed hard. Harder than she ever had, nearly choking on Ben as he released himself at the same time. She removed Ben, and laid against the bed as Hux continued. His build up finally broke free, grunting and grabbing her, pumping into her and doubling over._ **

**_All 3 were heavily panting, sweating, unmoving. After a moment, Aus crawled up to Ben, nuzzling against him. Hux sneered but followed, only he lifted her onto Ben, “Ride him again” he ordered. Both men still were very much hard up. As she lowered onto him, she tensed. It was so sensitive and intense. Hux coaxed her back and forth, straddling Bens legs behind her and reaching around and rubbing her clit. “You are going to be completely satisfied, my Dear. In everyway possible and I will give that to you,” he cooed into her ear._ **

**_“Kiss him” he ordered. Aus lay down and, squeaking from the sensitivity and intensity from Ben back and forth inside her. They kissed, the passion ignited once again, their arms passionately holding eachother. Hux positioned himself hehind her and pressed himself to her ass. “Be ready, Jedi,” Hux said. Aus didn’t want to do this, she never wanted that. Ben feeling and hearing her helped ground her, “use the force,” he whispered._ **

**_She closed her eyes and focused on dumbing and unfeeling the area. It worked. Hux entered her and all she could feel was him. No pain, nothing really. He began to thrust. Both thrusting into her, she was filled completey. Where there was nothing, she started to feel good. Both going at her, Hux like an animal trying to dominate, and ben like a lover trying to keep her from going insane, reassuring that he loves her always._ **

**_They went at her, and to her surprise, she was climaxing again. “stop” she panted out, squeezing around both men, wiggling trying to evade, but she came and it was so intense that the items in the room were blasted away, crashing against the walls as she yelled in esctasy._ **

**_Both men stopped as she collapsed onto Ben completely. Hux, pulled out, he leaned over and kissed her back several times. She rolled off of Ben and onto her back. “Supreme Leader, here,” she ordered him. To Hux surprise he did as he was told, a smirk on his face. She stopped him as he hovered above her legs. “I’m going to give you something,” she cooed._ **

**_“Commander Ren, position yourself behind the Supreme Leader,” she commanded. Both men were shocked and repulsed. Hux tried to move away, but Aus held them there with the force, Fear in his eyes. Ben moved behind him. “Commander, you will fuck the Supreme Leader until he is completely satisfied. Do you understand?” she finished. Ben reluctantly nodded, grabbing Hux hips and easing up to him. Hux eyes widened further, begging and pleading in his eyes. “Don’t worry, my Love, this is for you. I know a few of your secrets and its okay,” she smiled._ **

**_Ben shoved himself inside. A harsh grunt escaped Hux. Aus let go of her Force hold over him, but he couldn’t move, or wouldn’t. “Harder, Ren,” Hux pleaded, “don’t stop”. Ben did as he was commanded, suddenly finding slight satisfaction in ass fucking the red haired weasel. He fucked him with hate._ **

**_“AH!” Hux yelped. Dropping from his hands to his face, cumming on the bed below him, shaking hard. Ben continued to pound into him, causing Hux to jolt over and over. “Enough, Commander. Clean up, then return to your quarters,” she ordered Ben. Ben pulled out and went to the fresher.****_ **

Hux collapsed, panting. He slowly crawled to Aus, laying his head into her lap and wrapping his arms around her. “Thank you, my Empress. My Jedi. My soulmate,” he quivered out. For the first time, Aus felt senserity and real feeling from him. He feel asleep as he lay there.

Ben exited the fresher, dressed and back into the room, seeing Hux and Aus as they were. She looked up at him, begging and hoping everything was okay between them. He nodded and left.

Aus sat there awhile longer, holding Hux as he lay. What had they done? She felt closer to the Darkside more than ever. It was unsettling. But whatever needed to be done, she was going to do. And now with Ben with her, it was inevitable.


End file.
